by Melissa Good
Dev was finding this whole hug thing absolutely delightful. She was perfectly content to forgo the thermal under suits, and the outside, and just remain encircled in Jess’s arms, her shivers already abating. She felt warm blood surging to pretty much her entire body, as a matter of fact, and after a moment she gave a sigh of relief. “That feels excellent.”
It did, didn’t it? Jess smiled, as the carrier internal systems warmed up and she had to reluctantly release her hold. She took a step back and unfastened her jacket. She watched Dev take off her gloves and stick them into her jacket pockets, then undo the catches with slightly hesitant fingers.
As if she sensed the attention, Dev looked up. “All this clothing’s a little strange,” she said. “It’s kind of hard to move around in.”
“It is.” Jess stripped hers off and hung it up, then took Dev’s. “It’s always a pain in the ass operating up in the white. But here, there’s no people to have to worry about watching you and the field’s wide open, as they say.” She went over to the provision area, aware of Dev trailing along at her back.
She felt stiff from the cold. There was an ache in her bones that bothered her, and she looked forward to the warm beverage and a refresh of her painkillers. She set the dispenser cycling and stood waiting, her arms crossed, thinking over the next step in her plan.
Dev’s hand touched her shoulder blade, and the plan evaporated effortlessly. She looked sideways and saw that Dev was watching the dispenser, but after a second, those light, clear eyes turned to her. “Can I interest you in a ration pack, some hot seaweed tea, and a nice bunk made out of survival bags?”
Dev considered that for a bit. “Yes,” she finally said. “That would be excellent.”
“C’mon.” Jess left the tea heating and went over to the storage locker, popping it open and sticking her head inside. As she’d asked, there were two ice kits in there and she turned and hit a latch to one side of the locker releasing a shelf that came down to cover the back section of the carrier.
It hooked into the other set of storage lockers, making a platform that was just large enough for two people to sleep on and it had a few inches of padding on the top. “Not as comfortable as our beds.” She turned and removed one of the kits, loosening the velcro straps and opening it up.
Inside was a sleeping bag and survival tent. She left the tent alone and pulled out the bag, turning to spread it out over the platform.
Dev removed the second kit and did likewise, copying her. She smoothed down the surface of the bag and surveyed the platform. The soft plush of the bags and the snug space reminded her a little of her sleep pod in the crèche, and that made her smile. “I like it.”
Jess eyed her. “You do?”
“Yes.”
“You’re weird. I like that about you.” Jess went back and retrieved two ration packs, and pulled down another ledge between her seat and the dispenser at knee level to make a small table. She set down the packs, and retrieved the tea, and motioned Dev to join her on the floor.
It wasn’t nearly as nice as lunch had been, but they shared the contents of the ration packs, and sipped their tea. Outside, the light faded completely, only the dim emergency LEDs of the carrier casting the faintest of glows against the windows. Jess adjusted the interior lights to match, and she leaned back against the lockers, extending her legs out and crossing them at the ankles. “So.”
Dev looked up from nibbling on her crackers. Despite the terrible weather outside, she found their present location actually sort of nice. It was quiet and warm in the carrier, and the cramped surroundings were familiar to her from station, making it seem more homelike than she’d felt in the citadel.
And, of course, it was nice having Jess there without even a hatch to separate them. Dev suspected the night would be interesting, and she was definitely looking forward to it. She took a sip of her seaweed tea, finding the taste mild and astringent and just a bit sweet.
“Not like real tea, huh?” Jess spoke, having been silent for a while apparently deep in thought.
“It’s nice. It’s like green tea.” Dev licked her lips. “It tastes like there’s a little bit of honey in it.”
Jess smiled. “A little,” she said. “Wish I could have brought that bottle of honey mead with us. Should have looked for some in Quebec.” She studied her glass. “So, from here we go find the fisherman’s village.”
“You didn’t give me coordinates for that.”
“It’s on an iceberg,” Jess said. “It moves. I know basically where it is but we’ll have to land the carrier off one of the ice escarpments on the Greenland cliffs and then hike.”
“Hike,” Dev said. “That sounds like it might be difficult, if it’s as cold as it was here today.”
Jess nodded. “We’ll take ice axes. It won’t be easy, especially for my aching old bones.” She looked up as she felt a touch on her knee, and saw a look of concern on Dev’s expressive face. “Cold’s murder when you’ve been kicked around as much as I have.”
“I think you would like the sun,” Dev said. “There was a place in the crèche where the ceiling wasn’t all polarized, and you could feel how warm it was when the sun hit your skin. I remember I was up there after gym one day, and my shoulders really hurt. It felt so nice when the sun was on them.”
Jess released a sound somewhere between a groan and a sigh. “Warm would feel nice right now,” she said. “It’s never really warm. Not outside, not up here in the wilds, not in the citadel. Only place I ever get warm is in bed.”
A little silence fell. Then Dev looked over at the padded platform, one eyebrow lifting as she turned her gaze back to Jess. “Would you like to get warm?”
The thought of climbing into the survival bag and having Dev next to her put a flush of another type across her skin. But at the same time, she suddenly felt a little shy. “We should get some sleep,” Jess said, after a pause. “It was a long day today, and tomorrow’ll be worse. Those fishermen—they’re long off kin of mine but that doesn’t mean they’ll cooperate with us.”
Dev packed up her rations and took the remains of Jess’s. She put them in the trash container strapped to the edge of the carrier frame and turned, offering Jess a hand up. Her palm was gripped and she leaned back to brace herself against her partner’s weight, tilting her head back as Jess got to her feet. “If we’re staying here until the morning, we have a good length of time to get some rest,” she said. “And get warm.”
Jess undid the wrist catches on her suit and let them hang open, then loosened the seals at her throat. “I think that’s a good idea,” she said quietly. “The boats go out at dawn, and come back in at dark. So we should leave before it gets light to catch them. It’s not far from here.”
Dev tried to make a picture of that in her head, as she took off her outer suit, and it was difficult. There was a very tiny, very cramped sanitary unit in the carrier and she used it, wondering briefly how Jess or the muscular Jason managed. “This is a very restricted facility,” she commented when she rejoined Jess.
“Ugh.” Jess seemed to relax a little. “One of our biggest gripes about these old model carriers. Most of the guys just open the hatch and go freestyle.”
Unfortunately for Dev, she could make a picture of that in her head and she grimaced a little. “Unfortunate for anyone beneath you.”
Jess started laughing. “You’re probably the only one in the corps right now who can fit in there without bending something. Enjoy it, I guess. The newer model of this bus has a better internal arrangement.” She removed her boots. “Let me suffer and get it over with. I end up with a lump on the top of my head or a bruise somewhere whenever I use it.”
Dev hopped up onto the sleeping platform and scooted back, laying down flat and evaluating the relative comfort of it. It wasn’t, as Jess had said, as comfortable as their beds in the citadel but it wasn’t terribly uncomfortable, and she thought they could get a reasonable amount of rest on it.
Jess emerged, rubbing
the top of her head and giving Dev a wry look. Then she joined her up on the platform, laying down next to her and dimming the overheads.
They both exhaled a little, and looked at each other.
Jess cleared her throat and pulled a control pad on an arm next to her over to review some information. She keyed in a few things, and then studied the results. “Want to make sure the sensors are reading right.
Storm or no storm, wild or no wild, I want to know if anyone’s trying to sneak up on us.”
“Sounds like a good idea.” Dev regarded her own data pad, which was displaying the technical information about the carrier, and it’s internal systems. She could see the skin temperature reading, which made her shiver a little, and she was glad she’d connected the carrier up to the embedded power cell in the pad to make sure their internal heating systems would continue to cycle and not drain off their internal batteries all night.
“Jess?”
“Huh?” Jess jumped a little. “What?”
Dev turned her head, surprised at the reaction. “I just wanted to ask you about the pad. I know we had a power lead, where does it come from?”
“Oh.” Jess scratched the bridge of her nose. “Um...let me think here. There’s some geothermal activity, I think. They use temperature energy exchange to store in the embedded cells.” She clipped her pad to the locker wall and folded her hands over her stomach. “Damn useful.”
“Very.” Dev clipped her own pad down, then she let her head rest on the built in soft puffy area the survival bag used as a pillow. It was very basic, but she felt her body relax. “Otherwise it would be really cold in here.”
“In the old days, they’d have burned trees for warmth.” Jess eased over onto her side and propped her head up as she regarded her partner. “I saw that once.”
Dev turned her head. “Really?”
“When I was little. They found some old, dried up driftwood on the beach near our house,” Jess said. “My father gathered it all up and set it on fire, and we sat around it and grilled some fish over it.”
Dev now turned onto her side, her face alight with fascination. “Really?”
Jess held her hand out in front of her. “Yeah. It was...” She rubbed her fingers together in memory. “It was warm and it had a good smell to it. I’ve always remembered that. It always...” She hesitated. “It was kind of a link back to the past.” She let herself call up that image, the cool breeze off the water and the smell of salt and sand and the family all there.
Last time, really. She’d gone to basic camp five or six months later and they’d never managed to all get together again. But for that night, they’d enjoyed the moment and it had left her with a mental picture of melancholy happiness. “We cooked marshmallows.”
“What?” Dev reached over and touched her hand, clasping it gently.
“Marshmallows. It was a really old package. I guess my father had been hiding it for a very very long time or maybe...” Jess chuckled. “Maybe he got it from someone but they were these puffy sweet things, like tiny pillows, and when you put them in the fire they got all brown on the outside and soft and gooey on the inside.”
Dev wasn’t really sure what that would be like, but she could tell by the smile on Jess’s face that it must have been good. “I’ve never had anything at all like that. It does sound interesting.”
Jess exhaled. “Anyway. So here’s the thing with tomorrow.” She was aware of Dev’s fingers, lightly clasped around hers. “I was going to leave you with the carrier, but I think it’ll be better for me and safer for you if you come with me.”
“Okay.” Dev looked pleased.
“I just have to figure out what the hell I’m going to tell them you are. Spacer I guess, but why are you here?” Jess pondered.
“Well, you could tell them that I’m a scientist who wants to take sea measurements,” Dev said, clearing her throat a little. “Maybe I’m looking for a new kind of fish.”
“Hm.”
“You could say I was from Bio Station Beta. They do all kinds of experiments there.” Dev warmed to her subject. “I remember we had one of the scientists come and give us a speech at the crèche, about how we could be assigned there and help them find new ways to use the ocean, or breed special fish.”
“What about me?” Jess asked, an intrigued look on her face.
Dev studied her. “Do these people know who you are?”
“They know who I am, but not what I am. They’re cousins of my mother’s,” Jess said.
“So maybe the station hired you as a guide. They did that when they came downside,” Dev said. “I remember Doctor Dan telling me about going downside with some people from the fabrication station and they hired some guides who took them someplace.”
Jess smiled. “You know what, Dev?”
“What?”
“I think you’ve got a talent for fabrication.”
Dev considered that. “You mean lying?”
“No.” Jess squirmed a little closer, pulling the light cover from the bags over her and tossing the other end of it over Dev. “You make up good stories we can use in the field. That’s a big plus,” she said. “Not everyone can do that. Josh couldn’t. He had the imagination of a rock.”
Dev smiled and felt a surge of happiness at the unexpected praise. “Thank you.” She squeezed Jess’s hand and then released it, as she stretched out her body and put her head down on the raised, pillowish area. She watched Jess do the same, and then reach out and turn down the already dim lighting.
Beneath the light cover she was suddenly aware of the warmth coming from Jess’s body and her heart started to beat just a little bit faster. She had never been this close to another person for this length of time before, much less with the prospect of spending the night next to them.
It felt strange. She wondered if it was strange for Jess, but then she figured Jess had probably had many such experiences before.
Hadn’t she? Dev had spent her entire life alone. “Jess?”
“Yes.”
“Why is everyone so afraid of you? I don’t understand.”
“I told you. Because I’m crazy.”
Dev rolled over and tucked her arm around the pillow area. “I don’t think you’re crazy. You don’t act crazy, at least not like they taught us about.”
“No, well. Not crazy. Just...” Jess squirmed a little closer. “I don’t have a conscience. I don’t...it doesn’t matter to me what I do to people.” She plucked a bit of the survival bag, making a soft sound. “So people are scared of me, and the other ops agents I guess, because we can, and will, kill people just like that.”
Dev reached out again and put her hand on Jess’s wrist. “Is that really true?”
“It’s true.” The quiet response came back. “I’ve killed thousands of people in my career so far. They were either the enemy, or just people who got in my way when I was on a mission. I didn’t care. I don’t care. You saw Bain. That guy he blew away was his nephew. He didn’t care.”
“But even Clint was afraid. He isn’t your enemy.”
“Ah.” Jess smiled and it was audible in her voice. “That’s a different thing. He’s known me a long time, and he knows I have a wicked temper. He’s seen me lose it. I guess he thought I was in that space the other day.”
“Were you?”
Long silence, there in the dim light. Then Jess laughed very softly. “Maybe I was. I didn’t like him messing with you.”
Dev remained quiet for a time absorbing that. “Me?”
“You.” Jess gave in to the craving and leaned forward, finding Dev’s lips in the darkness without any trouble at all. “You’re my partner. He thought I thought he was poaching.”
Dev was losing interest in the explanation. She was much more engaged with feeling the electric buzz in her guts at Jess’s touch, and the sense of wanting that erupted in her. She felt Jess shift a little closer, and she mirrored the motion, her breathing going unsteady as their bodies pressed together and
Jess’s hand came to rest against her hip.
Oh. That felt so interesting.
“He thought I might hurt him because of that.” Jess broke off for a moment, watching Dev’s eyes track to her. “Maybe I would have.”
“He didn’t do anything besides work on the carrier with me,” Dev said. “I don’t understand why you would be upset.”
The mixture of innocence and desire facing her was making Jess’s breath come very short. She kissed Dev again and felt Dev’s hand touch her thigh, gently stroking it. That sent a rush of passion through her, and she welcomed the wash of energy, driving back both the aches and her fatigue.
It felt clean, and good.
“I didn’t find him attractive at all,” Dev said, pausing between kisses. “Not like you.”
Not like me. Jess felt a lightness in her heart she hadn’t for a very very long time. Dev was so honest and open it made her a little giddy. “I didn’t want him to mess with you because I felt the same way,” she said. “I think he knew that.”
Dev thought so too. But she wasn’t very worried about it at the moment. She felt Jess’s lips touch her neck, and then nibble softly at her earlobe and she was sure she wasn’t worried about Clint, or the citadel, or the mission for that matter.
Doctor Dan had been right, of course. She wanted this feeling, and she wanted it to keep going just like he’d told her she would.
There was, however, one minor issue. “Jess?”
“Hm?” Jess shifted closer and ran her fingers through Dev’s hair. “Still got questions?”
“Well, sort of,” Dev said. “We just got that one vid. I really don’t have any idea what to do next.”
Jess’s brows drew together and she paused, her thumb brushing Dev’s cheekbone. “You’re not programmed for this?”
A faint smile appeared on Dev’s face. “Jess.” She reached over and put her hand on Jess’s chest. “They program our heads. They can’t program our hearts.”
Hearts. Jess felt hers start to pound. “Ah. This is a heart thing.”
They both regarded each other.