Trace brought his knees up, unconsciously picking at his fingers—a habit he had recently acquired. “Uh uh. I don’t want the movie on tonight.”
Jake stood with it in his hand, sliding it into the player. His son slipped back, but he wasn’t about to let it happen, not now, when they’d come so far. “Well, I want to watch it. You don’t have to since you’ll be busy with the tree.”
Beth backed him. “It would be great to watch it! Awesome idea, Jake.”
Hitting play on the remote, he dropped beside Beth. When it started, he lowered his hand between them and hooked his little finger around hers. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught her peering at him. He didn’t glance over though a smile remained on his face and in his heart. She knew what it had meant, and when she gave a squeeze, his insides did a jig. T.J. peered at the screen from in front of the tree.
“Excuse me a moment.” She wiggled her hand free and set her soda on the table in front of the sofa. Standing beside Trace, Beth picked up an ornament to hang on the tree. “Would you like a little help? I don’t have a tree at my house, and I so love tree decorating.”
“It’s okay. How come you don’t have a tree?” He glanced at his dad. “Beth doesn’t have a tree?”
“No? Maybe we can do something about that, eh?”
“Can we, Beth? Can we put one up at your house?”
Beth knelt in front of him. “I’m not sure how my mom feels about one this year. No, not this year.”
“Okey-dokey.” Satisfied, he picked up another ornament, held it up to the light, and added it to the bottom of the tree. “If she wants to see one, she can come over here to look at ours. Dad?”
“Yeah,” he said, turning from the movie, albeit that wasn’t where his focus was at the moment. He enjoyed listening to them converse. “Anytime she wants to visit.”
“Can we go to Beth’s after the tree lighting?”
He sure was full of blabber tonight. How could he keep him busy without all the questions? “Weren’t we making cookies when we got home from the festivities?”
“Oh, yeah. Okay.” He plopped down on the floor to get the lower branches, and his dog came over to lie beside him. She lowered her graying muzzle to his leg. Out of habit, Trace stroked her fur. Grinning at his dog, he kissed her on the top of her head. “I love you, Kasha.”
Beth ran her hand over Trace’s hair as she took a seat on the floor near the tree. “If your daddy has time on Sunday—”
“After church I have to come back to fill a couple orders. Sometimes it gets busy here after church, so I can’t commit to a definite yes for anything right now.”
She got up from the floor to hook another ornament higher on the tree. Finishing with a second one even higher, she took a seat in a chair nearest a longer bough. When T.J. rushed off into the kitchen, her gaze trailed after him. “I’m sorry, Jake, I should’ve asked you first. I might’ve pushed it, but I enjoyed talking with him.”
Jake stretched his arm out along the sofa back, folded a leg over his knee, patting the sofa for Beth to sit beside him. She hopped over, and he hugged her when she dropped down. “He’s becoming attached to you. He found a way to relate.”
“I am, too,” she said with a quivering voice. “He’s so loveable.”
Trace came back into the living room with a soda. “Will you take a picture of the tree with your phone, Daddy?”
“Here, you do it.” He handed his phone over to T.J.
Trace took a couple shots and made sure his dog was in all of them before handing the phone back to his dad.
Jake got up, took Beth’s hand, and nodded Trace toward the tree. “Come on, let’s get in front of this thing.” He set the camera to timer mode and crawled over to sit beside his son who was in the middle of them. Wrapping his arm around T.J. and Beth, he said, “Say, I know how to smile.” Perfect timing because it went off as they all said the last word, smile.
Jake rushed over to check the photo, nodding his approval upon inspection. He returned to the sofa. Her being here tonight brought everything into perspective. If only he could command Trace to feel comfortable with the three of them together. The boy’s smiles and chatter gave him hope. Jake glanced at the photo on his phone. It was their first picture together since she’d been in high school. It brought back a swarm of memories of teenage yearnings growing to love. She and Trace both came over, and Trace snuggled in between them. He sent the photo to Beth.
“It looks like Christmas now.” Trace tapped Beth’s arm. “I’m glad you’re here with me and my dad. My mom would like you to be with us.”
Jake noticed her throat constrict at his son’s words. Hell, so did his. He slipped his arm around the back of the couch and peered at T.J. “We’re both glad she’s here, son.” He and Beth made eye contact over Trace’s head, and Jake cuddled them closer to him. Then Kasha plopped down at Jake’s feet. He was trapped there on the sofa in such a good way.
The fact Trace mentioned his mom liking them together proved he was ready to move on. For him and Jake to move on. His heart ached for his boy’s loss. The concept of family, loss, and holiday wrenched his heart even more for all of them. This togetherness was the kind of future he wanted, and he could only hope they’d all have a bit of mending this Christmas.
***
Cuddling close to Jake, Trace had fallen asleep, one leg over Beth’s lap. She touched Jake’s arm, and whispered, “This was a lot of fun, but I need to go. Thank you for asking me over.”
“You invited yourself, but I gladly approved. Remember how you used to love going to Mystery Castle? Let’s do it again.” He lowered his voice. “Just the two of us.”
Beth strummed her index finger against her bottom lip as she peered off into space. “I don’t know when we’d be able to. I can’t take a day off again until next month. I bet I could skip out of a training session.” Her eyebrows wiggled mischievously.
“Isn’t skipping out of class the kind of thing that landed you in detention in school? Besides smoking, I mean.” Jake stood, and Trace’s body slumped over. He slipped a pillow beneath his head then sat back down on the other side of Beth. Bringing her close, he curled his hand beneath her chin, turning her face toward him. “I’m getting excited thinking about you being a bad girl. Do you have any hiking boots?”
With the softest of sighs, Beth laid her head against his shoulder. “I do have some packed in my multitude of storage tubs. Maybe I can find them. Let’s do it. I’ll check my calendar and let you know when I can play hooky.” She checked the time. “I really need to go, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”
All he wanted was to hold her a moment longer, but he caved. “I’ll walk out with you.” Standing, he reached for her hand to bring her up. They became lost in each other’s gaze—lips only inches apart. Lighting from the colored lights glowed in her emerald orbs, creating a sexy gleam. A wave of heat rushed from his toes to his head again. Before the night was over, he might combust. He wanted to kiss her passionately right there, but he released her and stepped away before he hurt himself.
At the end of a deep breath, Beth closed her eyes for a second or two but flashed her gaze right back at him. Another breath. “I’ll get my purse from the kitchen.”
It didn’t take much to know he got to her as much as she had gotten to him. Jake stretched Trace’s legs out along the length of the sofa to make him comfortable, and sauntered to the front door to wait for her. Leaving felt wrong. This was where she belonged.
At the door, she took his hand, and they strolled out into the moonlit night. “Will we meet in town for the tree lighting, or shall I come over to get you two?”
Traffic and parking would be congested. People from the surrounding communities came to town for the tree lighting. “Trace and I will pick you up instead. We’ll take you home later…unless you want to stay over.” He inconspicuously tossed in the staying over part. Now he waited for a reaction.
Beth tapped her fingernail against her lower lip. “Where d
id you have in mind for dinner?”
“Sunset Grill. It’s under new ownership. We did meet there, sort of.”
“The second part of our life.” Beth peered at the sky and smiled. She put her arms around his waist, taking a step in until their bodies came in contact, the flutter of their hearts beating against each other. “It sounds delightful.”
“Would your mom be interested in coming along to the tree lighting? It’d be okay with me, but only if she doesn’t still hate me?”
“She’s involved with the senior center. I believe they’re planning to go as a group. Mrs. Carlson goes there, too. She has a boyfriend.”
“Judy’s been a widow for a long time.” Jake slid his arm around her shoulder to bring her closer. Closing his eyes, he focused on the moment. Beth in his arms, his body responding, her warmth, scent, and her voice, all made it an excellent evening.
“My mom never hated you, exactly, but she still thinks you robbed me of my virginity the night we ran away.”
In my dreams, literally. He couldn’t dwell on such a topic. That was yesterday. Yesterday was gone forever.
Beth took a step back, placed her hands on his chest, pressing her fingers into the cotton shirt. A smile came over her face as her gaze lowered to his lips then back to his eyes again. “I’ll see you in my dreams.”
Had it been as hard for her to pull away as it was for him? “Don’t leave yet. I’m about to kiss you. I don’t know what comes over me when you’re here, but I feel connected to you in a stronger and more profound way.”
She went to her tiptoes. Beth wrapped her hand around the back of his neck and rubbed her fingers over the shorter hair at his nape.
Jake slanted and lowered his head to kiss her. He couldn’t prevent his tongue from sliding between her lips when she opened her mouth to kiss him back the same way. He moaned at the immediate reaction sweeping over his body. The dreams of yesterday’s love haunted him, heating him—he wanted her. He swept his tongue across hers before their lips parted, but they couldn’t part all the way, lingering against each other a hair apart. He reminded himself to breathe because she took his breath away. “Kissing you is all new, yet familiar. It’s right.”
Beth tipped her head back and closed her eyes. “Let me savor it for a few more minutes.”
Before she said anything else, he couldn’t resist kissing her again, holding her tight against him this time.
Beth laid her head against his chest. “A long time ago, I promised myself I’d be with you again. Here I am.”
Here we are. He’d never wanted anyone else like he’d wanted her. Life happened. Life went on. Life fell apart. Then she came back. His body might incinerate. Jake lowered his voice to an intimate whisper. “Don’t go. Come back inside with me.”
Beth clenched the front of his shirt, pulling him in even closer. “Not yet.”
“Why?” he gulped out. His body ruled his words now, not his brain. She had to know how much she meant to him.
“Because it was another promise I made to myself the night you bought the chicken when I realized…” She paused.
“What’s that?” Jake squeezed her tighter and eased her up against the car. Heat fried his freaking bones. He became breathless. “What is it? Don’t you trust me?”
“Oh, you silly man. Of course, I do. We could so easily slip into bed with each other and it would be great. I know it would. But, dear Jake…”
He kissed her temple and breathed against her ear. “You know the sparks would be wild.” Lowering his hand to her waist and around to the front of her jeans, he sighed. Her breath caught. She gasped when his hand lowered.
“Yes, but so many other things in our relationship have to come first. We’ve been through a lot.”
“Come inside—”
“Please don’t do this.”
“You make me think you are a virgin. I don’t want to wait any longer.” What was he, seventeen again? He sure sounded like a horny teenager who held enough condoms in his pocket to last a weekend.
For a moment, he wanted her to be a virgin, so he could be her first, but he was senseless to think she had been celibate. He stepped away. Lifting his hands to shove his hair back, he raised his eyes to the starlit sky. All he could do was give in to the night—man up. “All right, baby.” Jake swallowed hard, now needing a cold drink of water. He took her into his arms and kissed her again, and again, but he loosened his hold against his will.
“Good night. Um, Jake?”
“Huh?” He refused to release her just yet.
“Do you think Paige would like me to be here for you? Like T.J. said?”
Jake shrugged. “I don’t know. In my opinion, she could care less about anything I’d do, or did. I don’t mean to speak ill of the dead, but she wouldn’t have cared while we were married, so she wouldn’t care now, pro or con about me being with someone. Yes, I hold a grudge. It’s hard not to.” Jake took hold of her hands. “She might’ve wanted someone here for T.J. I’ll give her that much. What’s important is T.J. thinks so.”
“I like to think she’d want you to be with someone who could make you happy.”
“She threw you up to me many times. You go ahead and think that way, lady.” He opened her car door and waited until she pulled away.
Inside, he helped Trace upstairs to bed, and went back down to get a beer. He sat on the sofa with all the lights off except for the tree, and gazed upward. Thirteen years apart, and now she’s back? Is this all a part of your big plan?
A little voice in his head laughed—absolutely.
Jake shook his head. Damn.
Chapter 10
On Saturday, Jake dropped Trace off at his parents on the way home from a ranch out toward Superior where they’d gone together to deliver a load. At home, he entered his bedroom to change into work clothes. His gaze went to the file cabinet first, so with a sigh, he called Wade. “Can you get by without me for another hour?”
“Sure, no problem. We’re slow today. People don’t Christmas shop here, boss.”
“Put something on sale, and I’ll take out an ad. Not the horses.” He chuckled. “Call if you need anything.”
“Yep, we’re good so far.”
Jake hung up. With a heavy heart, he pulled out the top drawer. When opened, he took out folder after folder and spread them on the bed. This would take more than an hour.
“Hmm.” He hardly knew what most of this was since Paige had taken care of almost all the paperwork for the upkeep of the house, while he handled the business, but he forged on until he found the original Trust Dale Jefferson had called him about. He set it aside.
Among the papers lay a yellow envelope where he read Paige Lawton written across the front in unfamiliar, scribbly handwriting not as good as Trace’s. Below it in tiny letters, he read, “DNA Report.” Needing to squint to be sure in the dimness of the room, he flipped on the overhead light. Indeed, it said DNA Report. “What the hell is this bullshit?”
He cleared a spot on the bed to sit on the edge. The envelope had been resealed with clear tape, so he took a knife from his pocket to slice it open. One sheet of folded paper and a letter was all there was inside. He read the note.
“Paige, here’s the finished product. Remember what we talked about. Keep it to yourself. I’ll deny it all.” No signature. Jake pulled out the other sheet to see what it was about, and he stood. His lungs must’ve collapsed. Breathing seemed to have stopped. His throat could’ve been full of sawdust. “Alleged Child—Trace Lawton. Alleged Father—Jake Lawton. What the fuck?” When had she done this? Better question. Why? His heart about stopped in his chest as the words stood right there in front of his face. “The probability of paternity is zero percent.”
Jake dropped to the bed, dazed and ready to puke. The report fell from his hands when he leaned over his knees. Trace wasn’t his child? Impossible. Everyone said he resembled him. He did. His childhood pictures proved it. He fell back on the bed atop the other folders. Who was his fath
er if it wasn’t him? “Bitch!” he screamed out. “Bitch!” She had screwed around almost ten years ago? Jake closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands as if blocking it would make it untrue.
He leaned over the side of the bed to pick up the paper again. “Genetic data is correct as reported October 17…” Jake peered at the ceiling. “Of this year.” She had this done not long before she planned on leaving for Baltimore. Was Austin Trace’s father? “I don’t believe it!” he roared, standing abruptly. “No, it’s not true.” He paced across the room, back, and across and back again.
Jake pushed all the folders and papers onto the floor and scrunched up the paper with the results, but then he straightened it. A new test would be done. I won’t believe it until I see my own test. Trace was his son. He’d know. Wouldn’t he? How’d she get his DNA? Bitch. His toothbrush? Razor? Any minute he’d explode.
He sent a text to Wade. “I’ll be longer than an hour.”
After locking the folder in the cabinet, Jake jumped into his truck and drove twenty minutes to the cemetery. No answer came to him as to why he did this. To yell and scream to a corpse? At the gate, he pulled inside, parked along the side of the circle drive, and meandered through the old mixed with new headstones until he got to her grave. Paige’s parents must’ve laid the grave blanket. He should’ve for Trace’s sake. “Why, Paige?” he whispered. “How could you be so cruel?”
Why had she stayed ten years if she had someone else’s child? You should have left. “He’s my son!” Jake kicked at a clump of dirt, turned, and got back into his truck. He tossed his hat to the seat and leaned his forehead against the steering wheel. One big inhale before blowing it out was all he had in him, and he sat up. Someone had to have answers.
He hit the highway toward Bill and Fran’s house. On the way, he called his dad’s phone.
“Hey, son,” said his dad upon answering.
“Will you tell Trace I’ll pick him up in about an hour and a half? I know he’s expecting me now. Tell him I’m all right.”
Whispers of Forever: Mending Christmas (Canyon Junction: Hearts In Love #1) Page 15