by Dannika Dark
“Ow!”
“Simon, please don’t start trouble.”
“I’m not starting trouble; I’m just giving it a little nudge.”
“No nudging. We have somewhere we need to be.”
Beer Gut shoved Simon in the chest and knocked the wind out of him.
“Don’t do that!” I said, shoving him back. He barely moved.
The waitress leaned across the bar. “Hey, hey! You all take that outside. We don’t want any trouble in here.”
Simon lowered his voice, and despite all the chatter in the dinner and the sounds of forks touching plates, his words were deadly cool. “Touch me once more. Go on. Dare you,” he said, the last part whispered.
The man stretched his arm out and barely touched Simon’s chest with his index finger.
Simon snatched his hand, twisted it around, and broke his wrist.
He screamed and the heckler rushed at him with fists flying, but Simon was too quick and ducked, punching him in the balls. Three men who had been leaning out of their seat and watching the whole affair got up from their table, itching to kick some tourist ass.
“Whoa. I think you guys need to back off,” I said.
“And why is that?” the one in the red shirt said, strolling toward us like he meant business.
I curled my lips in and balled up my fists. “Because I don’t want to hurt you.”
Simon unbuttoned his vest and draped it over his stool. “Come on, wanker. Give us a good show.”
Chapter 32
“Oh my God,” Sunny gasped. “What happened to you?”
I picked at the dried ketchup on my coat. “We had a little accident at lunch.”
A blistering gust of wind blew in from the shore and I turned away from it. Sunny wore a black scarf wrapped over her head and a white coat.
“Where was Christian during all this?”
“Oh, I’m sure he was around,” I said, tucking my hands in my pockets. “But he would have been disgusted if he’d had to save me from a handful of roughneck humans. I’m sure I would have never heard the end of it, so I’m glad he minded his own business.”
She wrapped her arms around me and her voice softened. “Thanks so much for coming, Zoë girl. Can I call you that, just this once?”
I smiled. “Yeah, Sunshine. You call me whatever you want.”
When she pulled away, her eyes were wet with tears and she dabbed the corners with her mittens. “I didn’t realize it would be so hard. I’ve been doing pretty well lately. I mean, each day has gotten so much easier and I don’t cry like I used to. But as soon as Novis pulled up and I saw the water…” She shook her head and looked up, letting out a mixture of a grunt and a shout of frustration. Then she laughed. “It shouldn’t be this hard!”
We walked slowly, arm in arm, along a stretch of land that led to a rocky shore. The waves crashed violently against it with white foam and steel-blue waters. Everyone waited for us up ahead, but we were in no hurry.
“Sunny, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
I sniffed and listened to our shoes crunching on the gritty path. Sunny’s cheeks were bright red from the stinging wind. “Do you have feelings for Novis?”
A small crease formed between her brows. “Why do you ask?”
“Well, it just seems like there’s tenderness between you two. At least on his end. I don’t know him all that well on a personal level, but he doesn’t really show compassion toward mortals. Except for you.”
“He’s been wonderful, although a little bossy about my condition. He’s afraid every little thing might hurt the babies.”
“That’s what I mean,” I said. “That’s not the Novis I’m acquainted with. He’s always tried to steer me away from associating with mortals because they’ll die.”
“We all die,” she reminded me. “Some sooner than others.”
“True.”
Sunny stopped and turned to face me. A curl of her blond hair escaped from the scarf and circled in front of her face. She gave me a curious look and narrowed her eyes. “What is it you really want to say? I’ve known you long enough, girl. You have something on your mind, so spit it out.”
“Have you thought about asking Novis to put his spark in you and make you a Mage?”
By the look on her face, I knew it wasn’t a foreign idea. She’d given it some consideration.
“Novis made an offer for me to live in his home on a permanent basis. He confided in me one evening over a cup of tea that he’d like to hear the sound of children in the house. He told me a little of his family and some of the regrets he had. In his time, I guess men weren’t hands-on fathers. All these centuries later, he says he’s forgotten their faces, but he can remember their voices. He said he regrets not having kissed them more and wonders if they knew he loved them before they died.”
I peered at the men and watched Novis tossing a rock in the water. “Wow. That’s more than he told me. I just got the brutal end of the story about their slaying.”
“Yeah, that too. I’m okay with our arrangement, but he’s never made the offer to turn me into one of you.”
“Maybe you should ask him,” I suggested.
She looked up at the overcast sky and then stuffed her hands in her coat pockets. “I gave it some thought, Silver. But if you want to know the truth, I talked with Knox about it a while back. We wanted to grow old together. Now that he’s gone, I don’t have that dream anymore. But now I have the babies on the way. How fair would it be to them? I want to be human. I don’t want to outlive my children.”
“They might decide to become immortal when they’re of age.”
She tilted her head. “And who’s to decide that? It’s not easy to come into your world; there’s no free ticket. What if they’re turned away? What if they don’t even want this life? That’s a very real possibility because they may want a family of their own someday. I want to grow old. I want to be a grandma with white hair and wrinkly hands that my grandbabies poke at when they sit on my lap. I want to be a great-grandma if I’m lucky enough to live that long. I want to go when it’s my time because…”
“Because?”
Her eyes glittered with tears and her lower lip trembled. “Knox might be out there somewhere, waiting for me.”
I wiped a tear from my eye. “But you might fall in love with someone else, Sunny. You can’t make that kind of decision over a man who’s no longer with us. And how do you know he wouldn’t want this?”
“Because it’s what you want, Silver. You’re afraid of letting me go someday. Don’t selfishly hold on to something that doesn’t want to be held. I want to be free to make my own choices and not be judged for them. I know it’s hard to accept because immortality seems so appealing; we’re all afraid to die. But this isn’t something I’ll regret. I’m going to be able to really enjoy every moment in my life because it won’t last forever. Someday my kids will have to let me go because that’s the natural course of things.”
I held her arm and we continued walking. “You might change your mind.”
“We’ll see. Right now, this is what I want. I don’t see myself changing my mind, especially when Zoë and Knox are born.”
Sunny’s Relic had confirmed the genders, and Sunny wasn’t budging on their names.
“Are you sure you don’t want to call her Wendy or Sarah?”
“Are you kidding?” she said with a small shriek. “Remember Wendy Robins from our old office? Oh my gosh, I’d never wish that fate on my daughter. To be named after a woman who slept with half the men and then got fired after spitting in the salad at the company picnic.”
“That was kind of gross.”
“Topic is closed. I’ve chosen their names and they both have special meaning to me. I’ll be sure she’s given the full story about her Aunt Silver.”
“Just leave out the parts where I used to lay around with my cat watching romance movies all day.”
She snorted. “Oh, like you don’t s
till?”
“I want her to think her aunt is a kickass Mage.”
“I don’t know, Silver. I think she should know about her aunt who always spills her drinks when we go to the movie theater. And I especially want to tell her all about the time when her favorite aunt tried to shove me into a swimming pool when my apartment complex had a party.”
“Don’t forget to tell her about how her dear old mother grabbed my purse and pulled me in with her.”
“Well, friends do everything together, right?”
We laughed and by the time we reached the group, they were all milling around and looking quite uncomfortable.
Sunny looked at the urn, which was sitting on a flat rock. Her upper lip began to swell a little and she stood beside Novis and faced all of us. “If you want to have a moment of silence or say something, go ahead. I really don’t know what to say that hasn’t already been said.”
“Knox was a brother,” Adam began.
He stuffed his hands in his jean pockets and hunched his shoulders as the wind blew from behind him. He looked nice in his black sweater and a knit hat that I presumed had belonged to Knox. Adam reminded me of a fisherman with the patchy scruff on his face. He stood at a distance to my right—eyes low, expression grim.
Adam clenched his jaw and looked toward the water. “The first time I met Knox, he told me to go fuck myself.” Everyone chuckled. “That was his way of telling me not to cross him. Knox was a stand-up guy who always thought he was fighting for the right side. We couldn’t have known back then what was going on, but joining HALO spoke volumes as to where his heart and head was. Knox believed in doing what was right and putting away the bad guys. If you were lucky enough to have Knox as your friend, then you knew he’d always have your back. That’s what brotherhood meant to him. It wasn’t about laying judgment on a friend, but backing him up no matter what. I’d made a decision to hunt down the man who killed my sister.” His eyes flicked briefly to mine. “I had a conversation with Knox before he died and he told me no matter what I chose to do, he’d support me. I’ve chosen to let it go.” His lips pressed tight and he nodded, taking a deep breath and folding his arms. “I hope wherever he is, he has my back on that one. I just wish I could have saved him.”
Sunny lurched forward and held Adam. He kept his arms folded as she whispered something none of us could hear and her scarf battled against the wind. She kept talking and he suddenly cracked a smile and shook his head. Sunny brushed her hand down his arm and returned to stand beside Novis.
“Knox would have loved knowing you all showed up.” She looked toward Justus and Logan’s family. “He respected all of you. We talked about it privately, and while he may never have told you individually, I’m here to tell you that he had nothing but good things to say. He was proud of joining HALO, even though I was against it because I was afraid something could happen. Now I realize something can happen no matter what you do in life, so maybe it’s better you do what’s in your heart. I loved him. I love him. Most of you standing here are either immortal or will live a pretty long time. I hope his short life meant something to you,” she said, struggling against tears. “Living forever means nothing unless you have a life worth living. Once you have that, it doesn’t matter how many years you have left. Knox made me feel silly sometimes but yet loved all the time. He also made me grow up. He gave me children and family and I don’t regret a single minute of our time together. So we’re going to send him home and go order the most expensive dinner we can find around here.”
A few grins touched everyone’s faces, and Logan separated from his brothers and stood beside me with his hand on the back of my neck.
Sunny lifted the urn. Novis held her arm and helped her toward the rocky shore.
“Let’s go,” Logan whispered. “The wind is strong, but I can scent this female wants to be alone. She’s in pain.”
We headed back as Sunny knelt down and they began to pour his ashes into the ocean. Only Adam remained behind, watching solemnly.
Simon breezed ahead of us with long strides and Logan snatched him by the collar, looking over his messy hair. “I’m going to guess you’re behind my female being covered in condiments.”
“Can’t help it if the woman wants to be smothered in my sauce,” he said with a placid expression. Simon shoved Logan’s arm away and walked off.
“Leave him alone, Logan. It’s just his way. He doesn’t want to admit that Knox meant something to him and this is how he’s dealing with it. Justus and Simon have acquaintances but not many close friends. I guess most immortals limit their friendships because they don’t want to deal with death anymore. I’m beginning to understand why. I hope I don’t become that way.”
“We all harden with time,” Logan said. “It’s a defense mechanism. You’ll find it difficult to deal with the loss of someone you’ve known for five hundred years versus thirty. For a Mage, it must be a lonely life. But for Chitahs, we always have our children to make us forget. We age slowly and someday, Silver, you may have to let me go. You will outlive me.”
I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around, watching Novis kneel behind Sunny and place his hands on her back as she covered her face. “Please don’t say that, Logan. I’ll find a way to make you immortal since you can’t become a Mage. Who knows what science will be like in a few hundred years?”
He chuckled and held me from behind. “Don’t hold your breath. I will love you after all this is gone. Someday we’ll both perish from this earth and nothing will remain but the remnants of a planet that once held life. What matters is now. This moment,” he said, brushing his hand over my shoulder. “And this moment, and the one that’s about to come. I will not live with a morose Mage who dwells on death and bad tidings.”
I laughed and spun around to face him. “Well then, nothing would cheer me up more than doing a little rollerblading.”
His humored expression slid away and he arched a brow. “Ah. So you would send me to an early grave.”
“You won’t die, Logan. Only from embarrassment. Humor me in life and don’t let me get too serious. Promise?”
His warm lips brushed against mine. “You have my word, female.”
We walked toward Simon’s car and I glanced back one last time. Novis was helping Sunny walk back to the car, but Adam remained behind. He sat on one of the rocks, staring into the ocean. The dull roar of the waves framed the moment in my mind and I wanted to sit by his side, but part of me knew Adam needed to be alone to say good-bye.
Novis had taken off his jacket and draped it over Sunny’s coat. I wondered if anything would ever come to be between them, but I had my doubts. He clearly cared for her, but Sunny had chosen another path and would begin to age. Maybe it would be good for her children to grow up in a stable environment with a man who had years of practice being a father. His gift as a Creator had made him a mentor and he set an example for his Learners. But the one thing he lacked was compassion—an emotion a human was beginning to reawaken in him. Perhaps he’d be there to watch over her children as they grew up, and their children after them.
Logan held the car door open for me and I leaned in and froze. Sitting on top of my seat was a pub cap, but it didn’t belong to Simon. Christian had bought the hat on our trip to Texas when we’d gone to question my mother. He wore it now and again to peeve me, but it suited him in a quirky way.
“What is that?” Logan asked.
I smiled ruefully, turning it in my hands. Christian wasn’t just leaving me—he was leaving the life of a guard. It’s something he’d mentioned on a few occasions and I knew life had something greater in store for him. I hoped he’d find what he was looking for, but I wished we had ended on a better note. But given our relationship didn’t start on a good note, this seemed to be a fitting farewell.
“Christian won’t be serving as my guard anymore.”
Logan glanced around. “Are you certain? He might have just stepped away.”
“No, he won’t be coming b
ack.”
Good luck, Christian.
***
After an expensive dinner of lobster and every imaginable kind of seafood, I collapsed in a booth beside Logan and melted in his arms. Novis had spoken to me privately about Christian getting too personal and it becoming a liability. He’d meant to speak with him about it, but Christian was the one who had approached him. He hadn’t told Novis where he was going, only that he wanted to do something that mattered. Of course, I’m sure the real version involved some colorful Irish profanities.
When I asked who my new guard would be, Novis had startled me by saying I no longer required one. After having seen my powerful display at the jail, he said it was superfluous to hire a guard with fewer skills than me. My abilities far exceeded any apprentice he’d hired in the past. As a Unique, he also wanted to arrange private sessions between us that went beyond what Justus could teach me. Novis planned to show me how to use my gifts in a way that only another Unique could.
He also said most of the city was buzzing about the events at the jail and few would try anything against me as rumors began to circulate of my power. It was hard to miss a green-eyed Mage with raven-black hair.
“Have you ever gone skinny-dipping in the Atlantic Ocean?” Logan asked playfully.
I laughed as the murmurs of conversation hummed around us. “Don’t start that game right now. I’m about to pop from all this food.”
“Rain check,” he whispered, smiling wolfishly at me.
Simon stood up from our large table and announced, “Been a treat, but Silver and I need to head back.”
I reached forward and used my energy to pull his keys into my hands. “Can someone else ride with Simon? I’m not ready to go yet.”
Levi rose from his seat and Simon suddenly grabbed the back of Adam’s coat. “Come on, princess. You’re riding with me.”
After Simon and Adam got their things together and headed out, I snatched another onion ring and held it to Logan’s mouth.
He laughed and turned his head away. “Silver, I can’t eat another bite.”