“It hurts. Why does it hurt so much?”
“Because you’re fighting the change.” He gathered her up in his arms and then called his magic to hide them both.
“You told me to fight the shift.” Her words came out with a bite of accusation.
“I did. Hold on just a little while longer. I’ll get you to the forest, then you can shift where no one will see or hear.”
“Can’t you just hide me from view? You’re doing it now. I can feel it.”
Gregory broke into a run. “Your hamadryad is feeding you magic. You may lose control when you shift. I’d prefer we not be near any humans if that should happen.”
“I thought you said I couldn’t touch my magic.”
“You’re not taking, she’s giving.”
“Wonderful,” Lillian growled. “What about the demon seed? Are we in danger from that little monster again?”
“No.”
“Thank goodness for small mercies. And I think the pain is fading. Actually, I feel drunk.” Lillian laughed suddenly. “Now, if fate will continue with this rare streak of kindness, we might avoid any military patrols, too.”
The forest was still too far away for Gregory’s peace, but at least she was lucid again. As for the human warriors, if they had the misfortune to interfere when Lillian needed him...
A low rumble of threat escaped him.
“Mmm, you have the sexiest growl.” Lillian purred the words as she leaned into him. With her cradled in his arms, her head naturally rested against his shoulder, and she rubbed her cheek against his bare skin. Her lips started nibbling on him. He stumbled when her tongue followed the track her lips had just been over. “You taste as good as you smell.”
“Lillian!” he rumbled in mild complaint. He didn’t need the distraction at the moment. Though he realized almost in the same instant that physical closeness must help Lillian in some way, for she couldn’t have been in as much pain, not if she could be distracted by other instincts.
“Sorry. I told you I feel drunk. Or maybe high on endorphins with the pain receding.” She let her head lull to the side and her eyes closed as she drew another deep breath. A small smile played at the corner of her lips. His eyes narrowed in thought. Perhaps he could use her attraction to him in some way to aid her through the painful first few shifts.
She made a soft humming sound. “You really are so beautifully male. You can’t blame a girl for wanting to touch such muscular perfection.”
Gregory scanned his surroundings as he ran. The forest was within a few dozen paces. Safety for Lillian only a few strides distant. When he was under the shade of the first trees, he continued deeper without slowing. There was no time to find an ideal spot for Lillian to shapeshift and then rest afterward. He’d just have to settle for moderately safe at best.
“Hold on, Lillian. We’re almost there. Just a few moments more.”
He went a little deeper into the forest until they came upon an area of dense undergrowth. A thick carpet of ferns blanketed the ground. It wasn’t an ideal ‘nest,’ but it would have to do.
Guilt twisted in his gut. He should have monitored Lillian more closely for the signs her gargoyle nature was rising again. Who am I trying to fool? I should have taught her how to master her gargoyle side when it first became apparent she still retained it.
“Hey, I can practically taste your guilt, it’s so strong.”
Gregory jerked at the sound of Lillian’s voice and found she was intently studying him.
“It’s not your fault, you know. Don’t feel guilty over something out of your control.” She sighed and wiggled in his arms. “You can put me down now. My body isn’t trying to tear itself apart at the moment.”
Gregory did as she asked, though left a supporting arm around her shoulders, likely more for his own comfort than anything she needed, he suspected. “It is my fault.”
Lillian turned to face him. “How so?”
“I should have made time to train you, to show you how to shapeshift, control your gargoyle magic, and to use your wings. But I didn’t. I was afraid.” Her eyes widened at his admission, but he continued before she could interrupt. “I feared—still do fear—that I lack the willpower to resist you.”
Lillian chuckled. “Thanks for the vote of confidence and for making me sound like some kind of super-tramp.” She waved him to silence. “I know after the first and only time I became a gargoyle, the title might have been fitting,” she cleared her throat with nervous embarrassment, “but it was one hundred percent the demon’s influence. I wasn’t really ‘home’ then.”
“I know, but it’s not—”
“I refuse to believe I’ll become some raging hormone-filled beast, unable to control myself, just because I’m the first female gargoyle.”
“It’s not—”
“I won’t become some mindless beast. At least I hope I—”
“Lillian!” he shouted her name.
She froze mid-sentence, and he continued in a quieter tone. “It’s me I don’t trust.”
Rocking back on her heels, she looked up at him, her expression morphing from shock to understanding before finally settling on sympathy.
In a hasty, awkward move, she launched herself at him and wrapped her arms around as much of his waist as she could manage. She mumbled words into his shoulder. They went on for a time. He didn’t understand one word, but he didn’t have to. Just having her hug him was a comfort.
Finally, she added, “You don’t have a clue what I just said, do you?”
“No,” Gregory admitted, “but you’re very good at non-verbal communication. I think I have an idea.”
“Just so we’re clear. We’re partners. From here on out, we back each other up. Remember the ‘no lies, no secrets’ conversation?’ Yah, you know the one. Partners help each other during difficult times. I might not have the powers of an Avatar, but I’m pretty sure I can dredge up enough will power to remind you of your ‘duty.’ Besides, I’ve got a good memory. I still remember the getting pregnant equals a bounty on our heads, equals the Lord of the Underworld sniffing on our trail, equals death thing. And he sounds like one scary dude. ’Nuff said.”
He held his silence throughout Lillian’s impassioned speech.
“You can trust me to not fail in this one task. Have I failed in anything I’ve set out to do since you met me?” Lillian drew in a quick breath, not giving him a chance to respond. “Okay, so some of my plans have been a touch unorthodox, but I haven’t failed. I won’t fail or betray your trust.”
Gregory returned her solemn gaze as he weighed her words, giving them the attention they deserved, but then felt his ears betray him and twitch to half-mast in doubt of her ability.
Her endearing, hopeful expression fell, transforming into one of displeasure. “As if you’re perfect!”
“No, as I believe is the root of the conversation. I don’t trust myself.”
“I... Oh! For pity’s sake.” Lillian huffed, fisted her hands, and then stormed over to the nearest tree and planted her back against it. “Well, my great and wise Gargoyle Protector, I’m going to shift into a female of the species very shortly, so if you think I can do better on my own or under the guidance of one of the other fae, by all means, let me know and I’ll just go seek them out.”
Gregory covered the distance in two strides and towered over her. He stepped closer until they were chest-to-chest. “I didn’t say I distrusted you. I said I didn’t trust myself. Are you so sure you could turn away my advances? Do you want to put it to a test?”
Lillian just shook her head. Though he wasn’t sure if it was in answer to his question or denial of it.
“Why the hell are we fighting?” she said at last. “I’m going to shift into a female gargoyle whether I want to or not. Thanks to the Battle Goddess’s manipulation, there’s no stopping it. Secondly, you’re the best candidate to teach me how to be a gargoyle. And thirdly—I can’t believe I just used ‘thirdly’ in a sentence—you’re th
e noblest male I know. You’d never hurt me. I trust you.”
Gregory pressed their foreheads together.
She spoke the truth. He would never knowingly harm his beloved sorceress.
She patted him on the shoulder as if to reassure him. “No more stalling or arguing. Let’s just get this over with.”
Chapter 16
“WILL THIS SPOT DO?” Lillian asked as she studied her large, winged guardian. “Or should we go deeper into the forest to avoid detection?”
He eyed the area once more and gave a little shrug. “This is not where, when, or how I would have liked to have shown you the finer points of being a gargoyle, yet this is what we have. It will do. I sense no others near—human or fae.
“Good. I don’t want an audience the first time. I have a feeling learning to use four legs will be more difficult than two. And wings, those I don’t even want to contemplate.” She tried humor to lighten the mood, though she wasn’t sure if she did it for Gregory’s benefit or her own. The thought of the actual physical shift scared her more than the end result. How much would it hurt? And what if she fainted? Would she get stuck halfway?
Strong arms closed around her and pulled her into his warmth. “Do not fear your other nature, it will come naturally to you,” Gregory said in a soothing voice. “Only your fear, and perhaps mine as well, have halted the change this long. We are now someplace safe from discovery—it is only your uncertainty holding back your gargoyle side.”
After another nervous swallow, she gave him a small nod of acknowledgment.
His hand came up to caress her hair. “Relax, breathe deeply, and put everything out of your mind except my voice.”
She found the combination of his voice and the rhythmic stroking of her hair relaxing. Tension slowly eased from between her shoulder blades. She buried her nose against Gregory’s neck and inhaled his scent. He smelled like home.
“Don’t fear the power within you. It is as much a part of you as your dryad side.”
With a snort of humor, Lillian realized she hadn’t really accepted her dryad side, which may be why she also feared the gargoyle half. She just wanted to be plain old Lillian. Nothing more and nothing less.
“You are an Avatar,” Gregory whispered into her hair. “You will never be ‘less’ in the way you wish.”
“I just want to be me.”
“You will always be you, whether you wear the hide of a dryad or a gargoyle, both are as much a part of you as I am.”
Strangely, the way he worded it made it more palatable to her. She’d always known Gregory was a part of her. She accepted it without thought or complaint. Shouldn’t she be able to accept her gargoyle bloodline just as readily?
Perhaps.
As if her weakening resolve was a signal, magic filled her in a tingling rush, flowing out from her heart, down both arms and legs, and to the very tips of her fingers and toes.
She gasped at the pressure of the building power.
“Easy, it is only your hamadryad sharing magic with you to make this first shift easier,” Gregory said in his deep, soothing voice. “Once you learn how, you will be able to shift without needing the extra surge of magic to push you over the precipice.”
Her skin became super sensitized, her clothing felt two sizes too small. Heat intensified between her shoulder blades and all along her spine. An enormous pressure built, not pain, but not pleasant either.
“Slowly,” Gregory crooned. “You’re in too much of a hurry again.”
“Maybe you should go mention that to my hamadryad?”
He chuckled, then his fingers left her hair and started to work the buttons of her blouse. When all the buttons were undone, he pushed it off her shoulders and tossed it behind her with little regard. Soon her belt joined her blouse on the forest floor.
He paused, and by his expression, she knew he wanted to say something but didn’t know how to word it.
“Just spit it out before my hamadryad sends the next wave of magic.”
He flicked an ear in her direction, uncertain. “Once you shift, you may find yourself as attracted to my scent as I am to yours. You needn’t be embarrassed by how you may react.”
“Ah, thanks for the warning.” Lillian toed off her shoes and kicked them in the general direction of her other clothing. She hesitated at her bra, but after a moment, reached back and unhooked it and let it slide down her shoulders. She dropped it on top of her blouse and then folded her arms over her chest. He popped the button on her jeans, pushed them down her hips, and quickly disrobed her of the rest of her clothing. Naked, the night felt much colder than it had earlier. She shivered and tucked herself against his side. One wing curled around her, covering her from head to toe in a living cloak.
“Now what?” she asked, but she knew.
“Surrender.”
His hypnotic voice made it sound easy. She acknowledged the command in his tone. Then she breathed in his scent, tasted his ancient magic, and her essence resonated to his silent call. Power flared within her. Gregory placed a hand on her back, between her shoulders and pushed, forcing her to bend at the waist. Instincts flared, and she understood what he was telling her. She dropped to all fours as the power crested within. A burning magic flowed just below her skin, rippling and flaring with a mind of its own.
Lillian gasped and bowed her back, her fingers clawing at the loamy earth. A hot, wet sensation made its slow way over her back and down her sides as something heavy burst from her back. She groaned in pain but was distracted by a new ache radiating from two burning points high on her forehead.
Her body shifted and changed. She grew light-headed, her arms shook, and she would have collapsed onto her side had it not been for Gregory’s strong arm around her waist. Another wave of power crashed over her body. Her vision sparked white at the edges before going grey.
Panting and disorientated, with her muzzle pressed into the leaf mold covering the forest floor, she lay quietly for a moment. It came to her slowly. She must have blacked out. She didn’t remember completing the change; however, a glance down her body confirmed there was no denying she was now fully gargoyle.
She fixated on her tail, studying it in equal parts humor and uncertainty. Just lying there, she could feel the weight of it against her legs, rather like a giant boa constrictor sleeping coiled against her. She flinched at the mental image, and her tail gave a reflexive twitch.
“You’re awake?” Gregory’s voice rumbled in her ear, and she realized she was resting against another warm, living body.
She turned her head and found it difficult to lift as if the balance had changed.
“What?” she started to ask and then cracked her horns against Gregory’s as she turned to look at him. “Oh!”
Gregory laughed and nuzzled her, purposefully rubbing against her, so their horns clicked together. It didn’t hurt, but she rolled her eyes skyward to try to gauge their span. When she thought she knew their impressive size, she was careful to disentangle hers with a muttered apology.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. You did well.” His voice sounded husky, or maybe it was her new ears.
“I fainted.” Her own voice sounded strange, too. “Hell, I thought I had more backbone.”
“Hmm...backbone?” Gregory’s arm came around her waist, dragging her a few inches closer. His warm breath wafted against her shoulder and then his muzzle was shifting her hair away from the back of her neck. A gentle lapping made her jerk in his hold, partly in surprise and partly because it felt too good to hold still.
“What are you doing? Shouldn’t I be...” Her voice trailed off as he continued to lap at her sensitive neck. A soft prickle of teeth against her skin froze the breath in her lungs and made all her muscles want to melt. It felt nice...too nice.
“Gregory?” She twisted in his arms to try to see his expression. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“No,” he rumbled with humor, “but I like it.”
He surprised her again
when he suddenly rolled away and came to his feet. Crouching next to her, he looked her over with what could only be called interest. She eased up onto her forearms. Her wings came with her, which shouldn’t have surprised her, they were attached after all.
“Goodness,” she gasped. “How do you move with these massive things dragging after you?”
He glanced over his shoulder. “To be honest, I notice them no more than my arms, legs, or tail. Yours will become natural to you too. Can you stand? Start with all fours. You might find it easier.”
Baby steps. Nice and slow, she told herself as she rolled to her knees. Almost of their own accord, her wings righted themselves and fell into place along her back. Her tail shifted, and she gave it an experimental wave as she gathered her hind legs under her.
Gregory coughed into his bent arm, but she could see the tears rolling down his cheeks. His entire chest shook.
“Are you laughing at me?” Lillian aimed a pointed glare in his direction, and he only laughed harder.
“No, yes...sorry.” He cleared his throat and wiped at his eyes.
“Well, it’s not very nice.” Then she realized she was resting on her forearms and the position put her... “Dammit! It’s not funny at all.”
She pushed up and came to all fours, curling her tail around her hips. It did nothing for her nudity, and Gregory still watched her with avid interest.
“I know it wasn’t intended as an invitation,” he cleared his throat, “but...in the future, you perhaps should be aware...”
“It certainly wasn’t an invitation! I’m still trying to walk! I wasn’t thinking of sex!”
She dragged in a deep breath, and Gregory’s scent hit her squarely in the chest. She leaned closer to him. He smelled good enough to eat. She very much wanted to lick him. “Argh! Stop that!”
“Stop what? I do nothing.” He spread his hands, showing them empty and then gave her a slow, toothy gargoyle grin, and winked at her.
With a show of her newly discovered motor skills, she flipped him the bird.
The Complete Gargoyle and Sorceress Boxset (Books 1-9) Page 37