by Kathryn Shay
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Introduction
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Epilogue
Author’s Note
Books in the HIDDEN COVE FIREFIGHTERS Series
ROCKFORD FIRE DEPARTMENT Series
About the Author
TAKE ME BACK
Hidden Cove Firefighters Book Nine
Kathryn Shay
Take Me Back
Copyright © 2020 Kathryn Shay
All Rights Reserved
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Introduction
Characters in TAKE ME BACK
Casella Family
Rafe Casella—son Tomaso “Tommy”
Seth Casella
Alessia Casella Benatti—husband, Billy; sons: Petey, Matt and Mikey
Gideon—children Cory, Carina, Cassie
Carmella Casella—mother
Tomaso Casella—father
Kate Cassidy—Rafe’s former fiancé, married to Chris McGee (deceased)
Casella Adult Relatives
Hayley Casella
Finn Casella
Ronan Casella
Albert Casella, father, brother to Tomaso
Bridget Sullivan, mother
Firefighters in the Hidden Cover Fire Department (HCFD)
From AFTER THE FIRE
Mitch Malvaso-Fire Chief, wife: Megan Hale Malvaso, children: Sabby, Trish, Bobby, mom: Sabina
Jenn Malvaso O’Connor—Firefighter, Mitch’s sister; husband Captain Grady O’Connor
Zach Malvaso—Captain in HCFD, Mitch’s brother, Jenn’s husband
From NOTHING MORE TO LOSE Captain Ian Chandler, Battalion Chief Olive Hennessy, work at Fire Academy
From AMERICA’S BRAVEST Worth the Risk—Captain Ryan O’Malley, police officer, wife Felicia White, HCFD firefighter
From IT HAD TO BE YOU Captain John Beck, HCFD firefighter with PTSD, wife Lela, nurse
From THE FIRE INSIDE Captain Jack Harrison, HCFD psychologist, wife Tess Righetti
From A BURNING PASSION—Lucy Coretta, husband Dan Collins, HCFD firefighters
Rescue Squad 2
Captain Rafe Casella
Lieutenant Beth Bronson
Firefighter Luke Ruggero
Firefighter Tim Murray
Firefighter Mark “Brick” Sykes
Firefighter and Paramedic Eric Ernst
Rookie Lorelei Lane
Other Firefighters
Battalion Chief Peter Baker
Joe Kingston—sub for Brick
Other members of the Consolidation Committee: Lucy Coretta, Ben Gianni
Fire Academy
Battalion Chief Olive Hennessy, in charge of recruit class
Recruits
Jasmine Lowden
Mark Angeles
Cory Mattison
Zeke Ratkin
Teachers
Captain Stephan Klimek, line firefighter
Chandler, Haywood, Gerhard, Frasier, Righetti
Chapter 1
“What the hell are you doing here?”
“Hello, Rafe.” Kate Cassidy’s voice was still husky; she used to turn him on with just its sound.
Rafe Casella couldn’t swallow, as if cotton was stuck in his throat. He gripped the door handle. Finally, he was able to ask, “What do you want, Kate?”
She straitened her shoulders. “I came to explain some things.”
After six years, she wanted to explain some things!
“From where? I don’t even know where you ran to.”
“Not far. Upstate.”
Ludicrously, because she’d almost left him at the altar and he should be cursing her, he asked, “Did you get a job as a firefighter?”
“No. Long story why.” She’d let her hair grow some, and light brown waves fell around her face and down her back. She’d also put on some weight, but there was still that same sadness in her eyes that she always carried with her.
He shrugged away the observation. “Whatever reason you came to see me, save yourself the trouble.”
“I want you back, Rafe.”
An ugly laugh escaped him. “You gotta be kidding me!”
“I’m not.” She reached out and grasped his arm. “It's true. I still love you.”
As if he’d been burned, he viciously shook her off. “No.”
Stepping back, he closed the door in her face, but stood there staring at it. In a few minutes, the bell rang again. He couldn’t stop himself from easing the door open.
This time, she wasn’t alone. She held a little boy by the hand. It was a punch in his gut. He tore his gaze away but the words blurted out. “He should have been mine.”
Kate held his gaze. “Look at him, Rafe.”
He did. And noticed some things. The boy was probably about five. His hair was a bit curly, dark brown, with dark eyes. The curve of his mouth seemed familiar. And he stuck his hands in his pockets like…what the hell? Like Rafe always did.
Realization slammed into him. His knees went weak, and he was afraid he might collapse. He tried to take in deep breaths, but couldn’t. Finally, he recovered enough to say, “Oh, God, Kate. You couldn’t have done this to me.”
Kate paled. “Go back in the car, honey.”
“But you said—”
“For a bit. Mommy has some private things to talk about, then you can see him again.”
When the boy trudged out of sight, she raised her chin. “He’s your son.”
Again, the weakness, but this time it filtered through his whole body. “Y-you said when you left if you ever had a baby, you didn’t want two first responders as parents. That you couldn’t bear to have him end up alone like you did and risk him having a childhood like yours. We fought over it, a lot. You seemed immune to my arguments.”
“I remember. The fear was very real to me. You didn’t understand how abused I was growing up because you had a wonderful childhood, with people to love you.” She took in a breath, then let it out. “Nobody ever loved me, Rafe. Until you.”
Mixed emotion swirled inside him, ones he didn’t know how to contain. He just watched her. Then he chose to let anger surface because it was easier to deal with. “You left out one fact back then. That you were already pregnant. Is that why you gave up on us? Had you just found out?”
She nodded. “And you wouldn’t have let me go if you knew.”
“You’re damn right I wouldn’t. I’d have insisted we go through with the wedding. I’d have coaxed you to go to counseling with me, for as long as it took.” His tone came out hurt, though, sad. He ditched that emotion. “Oh, God, Kate, I would have protected you!” The last came out loud.
The boy came running over. He must not have gotten into the car. “Mommy, why’s he yelling?”
Immediately, Rafe squatted. This was his son. His son. He was a miracle that Rafe hadn’t known had come into his life. “I
shouldn’t have raised my voice. It’s wrong to shout at people. I’m sorry.” He smiled. Brushed his knuckles over his cheek. “What’s your name?”
“Tomaso Rafael Casella.”
Oh, man, Rafe wasn’t going to make it through this. It was too much. He looked up. “After my father?”
“Yes.”
“Y-you didn’t even know him.”
“Of course, I did. From your memories, talks with your mother, from your siblings who loved him.”
Tommy stayed focused on him. “Are you my daddy?”
“Did your mother say I was?”
“Un-huh, after my other dad, Chris, died.”
She couldn’t have done that, too. He took in a breath and stood on even shakier legs. “You married someone else?”
“I’ll explain if you let us inside.”
“All right.” He stepped inside. “Come in, Tommy.”
At the exact moment two little guys rumbled down the stairs which led to the foyer. “We’re ready to go outside now.”
Kate paled even more. “Y-you already have two boys. Mitch and Megan said you weren’t married. But…” She frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“Let’s go to the back and I’ll explain.” They by-passed his big living room to the right and entered the kitchen. Kate had loved this old Victorian that Rafe bought when he was twenty and fixed up the three levels. She’d moved in here a year before their ill-fated wedding.
She stood behind a chair, frowning, as he addressed the kids. “Tommy, this is Mike and Mattie. I’d like you all to go in the family room to watch that cartoon you two wanted to see.”
The boys scurried away. Tommy hesitated. Until one turned back. “Come on, Tommy, this is a Mad Mortimer one.” Her son’s favorite character.
He raced inside.
Rafe settled the boys in front of the TV, then returned to the kitchen. “We’ll talk out here where we can see them.” The kitchen overlooked the family room.
When she sat, she bit her lip. She was scared. Well, too damn bad.
“I have only one thing to say to you, Kate. Any future with me is impossible.”
o0o
Kate Cassidy was dying inside, though she tried not to let Rafe see that. The only man she ever loved—for over ten years—was totally rejecting her.
Instead of responding to the dismissal, she said, “Tell me about them.” She indicated the boys inside.
“They’re not mine. They belong to my sister.”
Relief swamped her, made her legs wobbly. Then her heart bumped in her chest. “Alessia had more kids?”
“Yep. They’re twins. She had them six months after you left.” His gaze iced over again. “They’re about the same age as Tommy.”
“How’s Petey? He must be eleven by now.”
“He is. Alessia took him to the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown overnight.”
“Not Billy?”
“No, Kate. You missed a lot. Billy Benatti’s dead.”
“Rafe, no!” After a bit, “H-” She had to clear her throat. “How did it happen?”
“A rare form of cancer.”
“That’s so unfair.”
“Yeah.” His velvety brown eyes got heated. “You weren’t there for the long, agonizing months before Billy died. And after.”
She white-knuckled the edge of the table. “I—I’m sorry for that, too.”
He stared at her. She took a few seconds to notice his thick, dark hair was shorter than it used to be, with a few strands of gray that hadn’t been there six years ago. “What about you?”
“We’ll talk about me after you tell me what happened to bring you back.”
Avoiding his gaze and his question, she glanced at the backyard through the French doors and took a minute to gather her thoughts. “Like I said, I was so worried Tommy could grow up like I did.”
“So you said. A hundred times. Despite my reassurances that our kids would be well taken care of by my family.”
Thoughts of her drug-addicted mother, the men who visited the house, the abandonment superseded his arguments. She’d been thrown into the system and eventually onto the streets of New York City by the time she was fifteen.
“Fear isn’t rational, Rafe. And my background was hard to overcome.”
“So you went upstate and found another man, another life to live that was what, safer?”
“I thought so. I married Chris McGee two years after I got to Rockford.” Most of the first year had been full of tears and regret, then she had Tomaso and he brought joy into her life.
“Fuck it, Kate.”
“Chris died, Rafe.” She blew hair out of her eyes. “I know, that’s irony in its strongest sense. He was a teacher, and he died in a car crash driving home from work.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. I never wanted such tragedy to happen to you. It still doesn’t explain why you’re here.”
“Yes, it does. I learned that there’s no such thing as guaranteed security, so I came back to Hidden Cove to find you, to…make a life with you.”
He deep sixed feeling sorry for her. “Never gonna happen.”
“Don’t you want to see your son grow up?”
“I will, now that I know about him. Upstate New York isn’t that far away.”
She jutted out her chin. She was sorry for what she had done, but she wasn’t weak and wouldn’t let him walk all over her. “I sold our house there. I’m living temporarily with Mitch and Megan. I’m planning to buy another In Hidden Cove as soon as I can find one.” She had money from Chris’s insurance, too, money he’d want used for her son.
“What? You can’t do that.”
“Yes, I can. And know that I’ve applied to the fire department for a job. Mitch said I’ll have to take the academy recruit class and go on the line as a candidate, but I’ve kept in shape, so I’ll be able to accomplish that goal.”
“Let me get this straight. You’re not only going to live in my town, but work in my department.”
Anger rose inside her. “Both are mine, too.”
“You abandoned all of this.”
“I had to!”
“If rejoining the fire department is a ruse to get me back, I’ll tell you right now it’s never going to work.”
“Then I’ll just have to change your mind. I’m here to stay, Rafe, so get used to the idea.”
“Good luck with that. I’m engaged and will be married soon. So, the return of the prodigal daughter is for nothing.”
“No, it isn’t. The Malvasos told me you’ve been engaged twice. This one lasted longer but you still haven’t set a date.”
His face turned red. “That’s none of your business.”
“I think it’s because of me. Because you never got over me. And I never got over you.”
“You married somebody else, damn it!” The rawness in his voice just about killed her.
“I did. And he was a wonderful man. I can’t say I wish I hadn’t known Chris. The only thing I regret is leaving you.”
Just as she made the declaration the front bell rang. Then the door opened.
Rafe got up and started toward the foyer. A woman met him at the archway to the kitchen.
“Melanie, what are you doing here?”
The woman’s hazel eyes widened. “I came to see you. You’re off shift, aren’t you?”
“Um, yeah. But I told you I have Alessia’s boys overnight.”
She looked over his shoulder. “Who’s that?”
“It’s a long story.”
“Rafe? What are you hiding?”
“You might as well know. Come in and sit.”
He stepped aside.
The woman walked over to Kate and held out her hand. “Hello, I’m Rafe’s fiancée. Melanie Grant.”
“I’m…” She cleared her throat. “I’m Kate Cassidy, an old friend of Rafe’s.”
Melanie’s pretty eyes narrowed and her shoulders stiffened. “I know who you are.” She turned to Rafe. “This is the woma
n you almost married.”
“Yes.”
She whirled around to Kate. “Why are you back?”
Kate’s inner grit surfaced. “For reasons I don’t want to share with you right now. Besides, it’s not my place to tell you.” She circled the table and called into the family room. “Tomaso, it’s time to go.”
“I’m having fun, Mommy.”
“I know, and I’m glad. Maybe you can play with Mike and Mattie again. Right now, we have to leave.”
Her son trudged over to her reluctantly. Kate took his hand and they headed to the door. Before they reached it, he asked, “Isn’t my father coming with us?”
A gasp from Melanie.
“No, sweetie.” She tugged on his hand.
But Rafe crossed to them and squatted down. “I can’t tell you how glad I am to know you, Tommy.” His voice was gravelly. “We’ll see each other soon, I promise.”
“’Kay.”
They walked out of his house. Nearly leveled from seeing Rafe, from meeting his fiancée, she walked to the car. What if she couldn’t do this?
No, she thought, I’m not giving up on the first salvo.
“When will I see my father again, Mommy?”
“Soon, Tommy. Soon.”
o0o
When the door closed, Rafe laid his head against the wood, almost unable to take everything in. Finally, he turned and walked to the kitchen.
Melanie said, “This is a surprise.”
“A hell of a surprise.”
“Did you know about the boy?”
“Of course not. Kate didn’t tell me about the pregnancy when she left. If she had, I would have stopped her.”
“That doesn’t make me feel better.”
“I’m sorry, Mel. My head is spinning.”
“Are you going to see her again?”
“I guess. Only in connection with Tommy. And if I bump into her around the department.”
“What? She’s going to move here? Be a firefighter here again?”
“That’s what she told me.”
“This isn’t good for our relationship, Rafe.”