by Fields, MJ
His growl vibrates against my mouth, and he deepens the kiss, stroking his tongue against mine in lush slides.
His chest now against mine, my nipples tightening to near pain, I feel the beat of his heart against me as he slides his hand under my head, knotting my hair, groaning as I press against him.
When he breaks the kiss, we’re both panting, trying to catch our breaths, breaths I haven’t realized I’ve missed taking.
“I want you, Savvy, so fucking bad, but we need to talk through last night.”
“After,” I plead.
“I am having a hard enough time keeping my head straight after that kiss. So, after … after we fuck—”
He stops when I gasp.
He shakes his head. “Savvy, it will never be just sex with you. We both know that. That kiss confirmed it. It’s going to be fucking. It’s going to be raw. I’m going to take from you, and you’re going to take from me. When we’re fucking, there’s to be no walls, no presumptions, and no assumptions. It’s going to be done with reckless abandon. It’s going to be like me with a guitar, and you at that pottery wheel—all that passion we hold for those things, combined into one shared experience. It’s going to fuck you, and it’s going to fuck me for anything else.”
“Good.”
“Good?” He shakes his head. “Babe, it’s fucking terrifying.”
“I’m not afraid. I want all that.”
He sits back on his heels, his hard cock pressed against his black boxers, the tip poking out of his waistband. The piercing that I thought would be a turnoff, that silver barbell, is hot, sexy, hypnotizing.
“Is it healed?”
“We’re talking heart shit, Savvy, and you’re staring at my cock?”
“I can multitask. Women can—”
“Don’t bring that shit into bed. Those misconceptions, those divides … Whoever said a man can’t multitask is a fucking liar. I’ve written songs about you sipping on frothy, hot cocoa while having extremely in-depth conversations.”
I smile. “That’s kind of beautiful.”
He scrubs one hand over his face and uses the other to squeeze his erection.
“Are you multitasking now?”
He shakes his head. “Cute, Savvy. Real cute.”
“Patrick—”
“I’m pissed at you,” he seethes.
I sit up and pull my knees to my chest. “I’m pissed at me, too.”
“Last night, you told Truth I fucked Chloe at school, that you watched me, that—”
“Technically, I have, but in a recurring dream.”
“What?” he gasps.
I shrug. “Might make me sound crazy, but—”
He interrupts with a loud, “Might?”
“I don’t drink often … for obvious reasons.”
“Then you don’t do it ever again, because seriously, last night, you lunged at me a handful of times, plopped down on me, and kissed me for the very first time.”
“I’ve spend all night trying to figure out why I displayed those behaviors. All I’ve come up with is that I knew I wanted to touch you from almost the minute I saw you, and the alcohol removed that inhibition, and the aggressiveness behind it was misplaced. Oh, and the more obvious? It clearly, painstakingly, and embarrassingly showcased my social and physical inexperience.” I look up at him, wide-eyed and almost shocked. “And while we’re fucking, for as long as this lasts, I won’t drink. And I think maybe you shouldn’t when you know we’ll see each other.”
“Let’s back up to the fact that you just shit on yourself while reciting your back-alley therapy sessions that you also conducted with yourself. You fucked up, Savvy. We all do. So, say that you don’t like labels, then don’t put one on yourself. Four words—got drunk, fucked up. End of.”
“I won’t make that mistake again. End of.”
He nods. “Same.”
“I think your behavior after drinking was based on my insecurity and jealousy, so I’ll work on that.”
“Fuck that, being jealous gets a bad rep. I told you that, if you were mine, and someone’s sliding into my DMs, you have my permission to say I’m yours. And straight up, Savvy, I’ll do the same, with or without your permission, so you may want to keep that in mind before you spread your sexy as fuck”—he squeezes his dick—“legs for me. It will be my privilege and my responsibility to make sure you’re never insecure about us. But same goes back at you.”
I run my hands up and down my arms. “I also need this to be just us for a while. Two reasons. I’m not a big fan of PDA. I think it’s odd that people need others to see that they’re together. It looks forced. And maybe this summer, we could ease into the other stuff.”
“You’ll ease into PDA, Savvy. Last night proved that, but yeah, slow is good. But clarify other stuff.”
“Your family is—”
“Overwhelming as fuck, I know.”
“But they’re lovely, as well. From what I remember about last night, Truth was so nice. Is she okay?”
“You gotta understand that it physically pains me that you have been alone for so fucking long, and you don’t have to be, Savvy. So, yeah, this summer, we’ll ease into it, but by next Christmas, prepare to be overwhelmed and just go with the flow.
“And Truth, she’s safe but probably in deep shit right now with her dad.”
I nod. “I feel awful about it.”
“Tell me why you had the party to begin with.”
I feel my face catch fire. “You already know.”
“That was sweet.”
I shrug and feel myself wanting to just go back to the dorms and sulk, but I push it aside and ask, “Can we fuck now?”
He scrubs both hands over his face and grumbles. When he removes them, he answers, “I don’t want it to be forced.”
“It’s not.”
“Is your pussy still dripping, Savvy?”
I let my knees fall apart, spreading myself wide in front of him, and look up. “You tell me.”
His words come out deep and growly. “That’s not fair play.”
“It’s not fair that you’re on display then either.”
He looks down then back up at me. “Hadn’t noticed, but I won’t apologize. That moment before was raw, real want and need. I don’t want it any other way.”
I grip the hem of my tank and lift it over my head. “This more to your liking?”
His nostrils flare, and his jaw tenses. His nod could have been missed had I blinked my eyes. I’m so glad I didn’t.
I lie back and hook my thumbs under my waistband, shimmying them down just a little at a time, getting more turned on by the second as I watch him look me over with more appreciation than anyone on the planet, especially me, deserves from someone who looks like Patrick Steel.
I lift my knees to my chest as I pull them off the rest of the way.
“Savvy.” My name is said in warning, one that doesn’t deter me at all. I’ve never trusted anyone more in my entire life. No one.
I sit up, naked and completely bare, and then crawl across the bed to him, pushing him slighting so that he’s no longer kneeling, and he’s sitting on the bed. I move to straddle him, my whimper meeting his groan as his erection grazes my bare body.
I graze my teeth across his shoulder, and he grips my waist possessively.
I look up at him. “I’ve never wanted to be anyone’s in this way, and now I want nothing more than to be yours.”
He crashes his lips against mine, and a tortured sound escapes his chest. I grind against him as he licks my tongue more possessively than before, and I lick his just as possessively.
I move my hands down his chest, his abs, and when I reach his waistband, I tug at them as I murmur into his mouth, “I want these off.”
He groans as he sucks my tongue while pulling back from the kiss, the hottest of my entire life, and pushes me back so I’m lying down. Then he steps from the bed and onto the floor, where he pulls down his boxers. His cock, thick, long, veiny, an
d pink, slaps hard against his muscular abs. Against his navel, the silver ball shimmers like a jewel protruding out of the wide, mushroom-shaped crown that tops his nothing short of majestic cock.
“It’s beautiful.” I sit up and run my thumb over the soft, steel crown, smearing the cum across it. I then bring my thumb to my mouth and taste him.
“Savvy.” My name sounds like a praise, and I want more.
I swing my legs over the side of the bed and look over at him. “I want to taste you.”
He stalks slowly toward me. Then, standing in front of me, he grips his cock and strokes it. I lean back and open my mouth to him.
He rubs the tip across my lips, once, twice, three times, until I’ve had enough of the teasing and take it in my own hands. Our eyes locked together, I draw the head of his cock into my mouth and suck. Then I take him deeper.
“Fuck.” With one hand, he pushes my hair back then grips it, while cupping my breast with the other.
I take him deeper yet, and he hisses while pinching my nipple, causing me to moan with my mouth still full of him.
His hips jerk when I suck on the silver ball.
He rubs my nipple between his fingers and tells me, “Suck it harder, baby … deeper.”
I look up into his dark, feral eyes and do as he asks.
“Jesus, yes … just like that.”
I continue sucking him, enjoying the feel of his piercing gliding across my tongue, my pussy growing more wet every time I feel the ball touch my tonsils.
The sounds of pleasure that come from him, and that he’s giving me, makes me take him deeper, moving faster, using my tongue to explore the veins, the ridges, the piercing. I love the taste of him, and I love the way he groans and growls.
I’m pretty sure I love him.
“Fuck, Savvy, fuck,” he stammers then thrusts into my mouth over and over until he steps back quickly. He’s panting, his jaw muscles flexing. He’s looking at me like he doesn’t know what he wants to do with me next.
When he walks to the end of the bed and flops down, I think he’s taking a break, until he says, “I need you to get over here and ride my face.”
“I’m soaked,” I whisper.
“Good fucking thing, because I’ve never been more fucking thirsty in my life.”
“Patrick—”
“Now, Savvy,” he insists.
When I move toward him and raise my knee, he grips it. “Other way, baby. You need to finish want you started.”
God help us both, I think as I awkwardly begin to situate myself.
When two hands grip my ass and pull me down, I cry out at the sudden pleasure of his mouth on my skin that is so much more sensitive than I could have imagined.
“Fuck yes, your pussy tastes so good, Savvy.” He thrusts his tongue deep inside me, and I cry out unexpectedly as my thighs clench around his head. Then he removes one hand from my ass, and I feel him thrust a finger inside of me as he licks my clit. His hips thrust, and he groans as he licks harshly around my opening. I nearly collapse from the feeling of pleasure coursing through my body, my fucking soul.
When I open my eyes and try to breathe, my eyes home in on his erection laying heavy against his amazing body. I grip his base then hungrily and greedily lick every inch of him, as he grunts while running his hands up and down my thighs then gripping my ass and spreading it wider as he eats me with even more vigor.
I take him in my mouth and devour him the same—harder, faster—eliciting more groans, the vibration causing more intense sensations in my now saturated center.
I can only hope I’m giving him as much pleasure as he is giving me. His tongue talented, his fingers magic, his skill surely unmatched. And then …
“Oh, God,” I cry as he sucks my clit in a rhythm that causes my entire core to tense, almost painfully.
“Fuck yes, come all over my face. Ride it out, baby. Take yours.”
Everything ignites and pulsates, and I come apart.
His licks are now longer, lusher, as if he’s cleaning me, allowing me to come down from the most amazing sexual moment I’ve ever experienced. He then turns our bodies and positions me on my back. The bed shifts as he moves, and I hear him open a drawer, then the sound of a wrapper being ripped open.
I open my eyes and watch as he rolls a condom onto himself then looks at me.
“I wanted to wait, but you’re so fucking tight and still so wet. I want to make this good for you. I have to make this—”
I hold out my hand and pant, “Please.”
One hand is in mine, the other he’s using to glide his cock up and down my opening.
“Stop teasing, Patrick.” My voice is raspy and needy.
“Feels so fucking good, so hot, so wet. I want to take my time,” he groans and looks back up at me. “I knew this was gonna fuck me up forever. I knew from the minute I heard you, saw you, that I’d found what the others did—someone who wouldn’t judge my passion for music, someone who would see me and not what others expect me to be, someone incredibly intelligent and even more beautiful. I know we’re going slow. I know we’re not labeling this. But I need you to know I am so fucking in love with you, Savvy Sutton, that someday, I’m going to sing it in a song.”
Tears fill my eyes, and I nod, putting my hand to my chest, and then to my throat, hoping he gets that I can’t talk right now, because if I do, I’ll cry.
He leans down and presses his lips against mine, and then slowly, so , so, slowly, he pushes into me.
It’s uncomfortable, he’s big—the stretching, the feeling of being so full you can’t breathe, and you think you’ll possibly rip in two, not just the physical but the emotional.
Once fully seated in me, he releases his held breath, and I let my tears fall.
“I love you. I love you, and it scares me.”
He pushes back and takes my face between his hands. “You’re not alone, Savvy. In that, you’ll never be alone. But promise me you’ll stop pushing me out of the other stuff, too.”
“I want that. Just slow, okay?”
He wipes my tears away with his thumbs. Then he kisses my lips and whispers, “Your pussy is so fucking tight. It’s like a fucking vise around my dick.”
I smile against his lips.
He pulls his mouth away and rests his forehead against mine, and then he begins to rock.
After a few moments, the pressure subsides, but the full feeling doesn’t, but my God how incredible it feels.
Panting, moaning, my legs are shaking, feeling like I’m going to lose my mind, our eyes trained on each other’s, never breaking that connecting. I watch him, beginning to come apart. I see it in his stunning features, his teeth bared, his eyes rolling at times, his fucking body, as he holds himself up with one hand. A need to watch him come undone drives me so that I begin to meet him thrust for thrust.
“Fuck, Savvy.” He throws his head back. “Fuuuuck. I don’t wanna come yet, baby, but … fuuccckkkk.” He reaches between us and rubs my clit, and I attempt to strangle the cry until I can’t. I come again, and this time harder.
His pace increases, his hips begin to bucking wildly, his grunts feral, his body tenses, his head falls back, and I feel him grow inside of me, and then a pulsing as he hisses my name almost violently.
He collapses on top of me, panting, and I wrap my arms and legs around him, holding him tightly for a very, very long time.
“I love you, Savvy,” he whispers.
“I love you back, Patrick Steel.”
Chapter 22
“Look for a way to lift someone up. And if that’s all you do, that’s enough.”
~Elizabeth Lesser
Savvy
He wants to scream it from the rooftop, but I want it to stay between us. He knows I hate labels. I think he gets that, but I also know it’s because I don’t want shit from everyone who has heard me profess to liking girls.
Truth be told, I’ve never been with a girl. I just knew I hated men. But I hated men mostly because o
f my horrible experiences with them growing up, and because of the way I absorbed that from the people I used to be around. I still hate capitalism and men who use their money and position to hold people—women—back. But I have to admit there are women who do the same, so …
Patrick and his family, even Justice, who is an asshole, aren’t men who seem to fall into that category.
I’ve already lived a lifetime before this one, a full lifetime of springs, summers, falls, and winters. A lifetime that had a beginning, middle, and an end. I came to this lifetime with more knowledge than most, due to my constant reading; and more enlightenment, due to living in so many communities. But with all of those things, I admit I also carried baggage and scars, prejudices and stereotypes. I held onto those things as if they were treasures that would remind me I wasn’t alone. But now she’s gone, and I’m still here. And, unlike her, I will choose to live.
Patrick’s family, the one in which is apparently going to become my community at some point in the future, are truly precious and as strong as their last name, Steel.
Over the past few weeks, so many things have gone on, things that would have me backing myself into a corner, and even though he knows I am not ready to be involved, he keeps me in the loop.
Truth and Tobias are together. They’re actually the most perfect and also most coveted couple at Seashore. I love that for her but hate the bitches who smile in her face yet would gladly be on Tobias Easton’s arm.
Tobias is handing over the torch to Justice, and apparently, he’s taking it … reluctantly, and only because he doesn’t want Harrison to become king shit, on a mountain of his own making. I know how they run things, and I know Tobias—although not legally, per say—made it so the rich kids basically help those who were not, by setting up parties and fights that they worked and made untaxable money by making everyone want invites to them and had to pay for the privilege. Justice also had to agree to date Gabrielle, Queen Bee, the richest and meanest of the girls here. Patrick said he’s not happy about that at all.