by Alicia Rades
Lucas’s arms wrapped around me, and he pulled me out of the water. I pushed wet strands of hair out of my face and giggled. I couldn’t help it. He did things to me that no one else ever had. I felt like I was floating, even though the water was so shallow that we were both on our knees.
Lucas didn’t let go of me, even though I was no longer in danger of drowning. I figured it was some sort of signal, so I decided to play along. I wrapped my arms around his neck.
“See?” I said innocently, like we weren’t sitting here in an intimate embrace. “The water’s nice, isn’t it?”
He stared down at me, never taking his eyes off mine. His chest rose and fell rapidly in shallow breaths. “Yeah, it is nice.”
His gaze flickered down to my lips, then further down to my breasts. I inhaled, purposely lifting my chest out of the water a little so he could get a better look. In the cool water, my nipples were rock hard, though he couldn’t see through my push-up bra. My mouth went dry as my eyes roamed over him. They locked on his lips, and my whole body felt magnetized toward him.
The Fizzy Bubbly had made me bolder than normal—a helluva lot bolder. I dragged myself closer to Lucas and wrapped my legs around his middle, until our bodies were pressed tightly against each other. Lucas seemed like he was in another world, totally oblivious to Grant and Talia’s laughter across the beach as I drew closer. My hips pressed into his, and I could feel his erection through my panties. My heart was hammering so hard that I was sure he could feel it. I could hardly believe this was actually happening.
“You’re so warm,” I whispered.
Lucas’s arms tightened around me. He licked his lips, staring at my mouth like he was in a trance. “You, too.”
“Well, what are you going to do about it?” I asked.
His hands trembled on my back, like he wanted to move them across my body but was too scared. He swallowed. “I, uh, I…”
I leaned in closer. My breasts pressed up against him, and my heart hammered so hard it rocked my entire body. I didn’t know how I could feel this way when we hadn’t even kissed yet. All I knew was that I wanted Lucas more than I ever wanted anyone. It wasn’t just because he was hot, either. I really, really liked him.
“You could kiss me,” I whispered in his ear.
He shook his head. “Nadine…”
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Are you nervous?”
Then, because I had absolutely no inhibitions at the moment, I pressed my lips to the corner of his jaw. Lucas froze against me, his breath cooling the side of my neck. Testing his limits, I ran my lips along his jawline and pressed a kiss to his cheek. My pulse quickened. I was so close to kissing him for the first time.
Lucas closed his eyes and turned his head, until his warm lips brushed across the side of my face. He was so close to my lips that he almost touched them. My heart skipped a beat. I burned for more, to have his lips all over me, his tongue inside my mouth. I tilted my head toward him, anticipating the kiss.
But it never came. Lucas’s eyes snapped open. In an instant, his hands left my back and pressed against my shoulders. My stomach dropped as he pushed me away from him.
Lucas gazed at me with sad eyes. His face had paled, and he looked like he was going to be sick. Because of me? “I’m sorry, Nad. We can’t.”
That floating feeling in my chest disappeared as a heavy weight came crashing down. What just happened?
I dropped my legs from around his waist and pushed away from him in the water. “What’s wrong?”
Lucas turned away from me. He wouldn’t look me in the eye. “I can’t do this, Nad. It isn’t fair to you.”
“Wait, Lucas.”
He stood and started for shore. My limbs felt so heavy that I couldn’t bring myself to follow him. I thought we were having a good time. Wasn’t he flirting back? Or had I misread his signals?
“Lucas, what’s wrong?” I asked in a small voice. I barely noticed that Talia and Grant had stopped goofing off to stare at us. “What did I do?”
Lucas stopped on the shore to look back at me as he reached for his jeans. “Nothing, Nad.”
My eyebrows knitted together as I searched his expression for explanation. But I couldn’t find any. A thousand thoughts ran through my head. Was he not attracted to me? Did he already have a girlfriend? Had he promised Grammy he wouldn’t get involved with me?
No, that was all stupid. So what was the problem?
I blinked a few times, feeling the weight of the rejection getting heavier. God, I was so immature. It’s not like we were breaking up. We weren’t even dating!
Lucas sighed. He dropped his jeans and stepped back into the water. He reached out for me. “Nad…”
I pushed off the bottom of the lake and swam around him. “Whatever. It’s cool.”
I tried to keep an even tone, but it didn’t come out that way. “I didn’t realize… I thought…”
I couldn’t finish my sentence. Instead, I started toward shore, barely caring that my panties were on display for him. Maybe it’ll get him to change his mind.
“Nadine, please,” Lucas begged. “Let me explain.”
“Lucas, it’s fine,” I practically snapped, though I didn’t mean to. “We’re just friends, and I’m not myself right now. Neither of us are. So let’s just forget this happened and go back to normal tomorrow?”
It wasn’t true. I was being myself, just with a little extra courage. I wanted the kiss to happen—and so much more. I was stupid and crazy. There was still so much I didn’t know about him—which incidentally only drew me closer. I wanted to know it all.
Lucas stared at me like a deer in the headlights. “Nad, I just don’t think—”
“You don’t owe me an explanation,” I said as I started pulling on my clothes. I didn’t know why I told him that, considering an explanation was all I wanted. I just wasn’t sure I could hear it right now. What if it was worse than I was thinking?
“If that’s what you want,” Lucas said softly.
It wasn’t, but I nodded anyway.
Talia and Grant had come to the shallow end, though they kept their distance from each other.
“Hey, guys,” Talia said softly. “What happened?”
“Nothing,” I told her as I put my shoes on. “I think it’s time to go.”
“Yeah, sure.” Talia sounded more like herself now. “Can you toss me my clothes?”
I gathered her clothes and held them out to her where she was crouched down in the shallow end. The guys turned their eyes away as she got out of the water and started to dress. I averted my eyes out of respect.
The whole time, I couldn’t stop replaying what had just happened in my mind. It was obvious Lucas and I had chemistry. He clearly wanted to kiss me back, and yet he insisted on pushing me away. The only explanation I could think of was that Lucas was playing some sort of game with me.
A game that I was going to win.
Chapter 9
Lucas
I hated my fucking gift. I had Nadine in my arms. I was going to kiss her. If we’d been alone, we probably would’ve gone a lot further, too. The second my lips touched her cheek, the nausea hit, and a thought from the recently departed came to me, shattering the moment.
“We were never right for each other,” the female voice said. She sounded younger than most, but I didn’t want to think about how she died. I hoped it was an accident, but there was a hint of fear in her voice that suggested something more was going on.
And that chilled me to the bone. What if it was some sort of sign? I had to admit, it couldn’t have come at a worse time. It was like a reminder that I wasn’t any good for Nadine. And so I pushed her away, because if I let this happen once, I didn’t think I could ever stop. She deserved better than me—better than someone whose mere existence could hurt her in ways I couldn’t imagine.
So as much as it killed me to do, I kept my distance from her.
It was literal torture. I didn’t know why, but when I was ar
ound Nadine, the weight of my gift seemed to ease. Now that I was avoiding her, it seemed to weigh heavier and heavier.
The voice I’d heard at the lake ended up being a woman named Emily Robinson, who’d died after being pushed down the stairs. The jackass who’d pushed her had already been arrested, but that didn’t bring me much peace from the thought, if any. That one stuck with me for days, because every time I pictured the girl, I saw my mom. I’d even called Mom to check up on her, and she assured me she was fine. I wasn’t sure I believed her.
Over the next few days, the nausea grew worse. On Thursday after lunch, I was taking a piss at the urinal when another thought struck.
“Is it playtime?” a child’s voice whispered in my mind.
Though it was quiet, the weight of the thought crashed down on me like a tidal wave. I swayed on my feet, spraying urine all over the floor. I quickly shoved my dick back inside my pants, then made a beeline for the stall behind me. I fell to my knees so quickly that a sharp pain shot up through my legs. But I barely noticed as my attention was stolen by the ache in my gut. It felt as if someone had stuck a fork into my stomach and twisted my intestines around like spaghetti. I hunched over the toilet, waiting for my lunch to come back up, but all that came out were dry heaves.
“Shit,” I groaned as I curled up into a ball on the floor. I was hot all over, but freezing cold at the same time. A sheen of sweat covered my body, and I shivered. The child’s voice just kept echoing over and over again in my mind.
“Is it playtime? Is it playtime?”
Fuck, the kid didn’t even know he was going to die. I wish I could’ve taken his place.
No! You’re not allowed to think like that, I reminded myself. In times like this, it was difficult not to.
It took another half hour for the nausea to pass, which was unusual. Usually it was gone in only a few minutes. I pushed myself up off the cold tile, my arms shaking. Taking a deep breath, I leaned my head back against the stall door, waiting for the last of it to fade. Eventually, I felt like I could move again, so I conjured my journal and added the thought to it. I wished I could’ve added something to the positivity journal Professor Warren was forcing me to make, but all I wanted to do was rip the pages out of it and tell him to go screw himself. Listening to little kids die was the furthest thing from what I’d call a gift.
I did a quick scroll through my social media accounts to see if anyone had reported on the death yet, but it was too soon. My stomach sank when I noticed the time on my phone. I only had a few minutes to get to my Introduction to Incantations class.
Ugh. I forced myself to my feet—I was a little shaky, but stable—then started for my Incantations classroom. I took a seat in the back row of the lecture hall, so I could slip out easily if the nausea hit again. I spotted Ryan and the other Tarantulas sitting toward the middle of the room. They were laughing loudly and shooting spitballs through a straw.
Our professor walked in just as one of the balls was flying toward the front. She waved her hand, and the spit wad changed course and snapped back in the direction of the Tarantulas. It landed square on Ryan’s forehead. He swatted it away and mumbled a few crude words about Professor Loren under his breath.
Professor Loren strolled to the front of the room without even glancing back at Ryan. She was an older woman with long silver hair who frequently wore flowing black dresses. She was wise and pretty much knew everything about everything—and she didn’t take anyone’s shit. Everyone really loved her classes, unless they were the one causing trouble.
“Last week, we covered basic incantations all witches and warlocks should know,” Professor Loren began her lecture. For a woman as old as dirt, she had a surprisingly strong voice that projected all throughout the lecture hall. “You’ve learned basic defensive magic, like stunning spells.”
Nolan, one of the Tarantulas, raised his voice. “When do we learn battle orbs and shields?”
Professor Loren frowned. “Not until you’re much more mature with your magic, Mister Kowalski. Those spells are far too advanced for this class.”
She turned toward the other side of the room, ignoring him. “Today, we will be talking about the theory behind incantations. Why do you think incantations work for all Casts and not just a select few?”
Felicia Green’s hand shot up at the front of the room. She was in all my classes last semester and always had an answer for everything. She was the real Hermione Granger of Miriam College. She was pretty, with long blonde curls and nice skin, but her lack of humility left a lot to be desired.
“Yes, Miss Green?” Professor Loren called on her.
Felicia spoke like she was reading out of a textbook. “Incantations are universal to all Casts, because the tasks generated by them are universal. Incantation magic comes not from the incantation itself, but from within you.”
“Exactly,” Professor Loren said proudly.
Ryan leaned forward in his seat and shot another spit wad at the back of Felicia’s head. Her hand slapped over it, and she whirled around to shoot daggers Ryan’s way. “Do that again, and I’ll incant your ass all the way to the Abyss, dickhole.”
A chorus of oohs traveled around the room. I couldn’t see Ryan’s face from here, but he sounded amused. “Savage, Felicia. I like it. You wanna take the trip with me?”
“Screw you,” she spat.
“Yeah, I bet you’d like to,” Ryan teased.
Felicia shot him a look of disdain before turning back around in her seat.
“Let’s behave ourselves,” Professor Loren scolded. “You’re not children anymore, for Alora’s sake!”
Ryan leaned back in his chair, and his buddies laughed around him. What a fucking loser.
Professor Loren turned away from them and continued her lecture. “Incantations serve to alter your mindset. Later in the semester, we’ll be writing our own incantations for simple tasks. By the end of your senior year, you should be able to perform the same tasks without incantations at all.”
Felicia’s hand shot into the air again, and the Tarantulas shared a collective groan. “What about group spells? Isn’t it dangerous to try them without an incantation?”
“Yes,” Professor Loren responded. “We’ll be getting to that unit later in the semester, but since you asked, I will warn you all that group spells should always use incantations. It’s the only way to ensure you’re all on the same page. If not, your magic could clash. Any other questions?”
Another hand raised at the far corner of the front row.
“Yes, Mister Walker?” Professor Loren said.
Gregory Walker was a straight-A student like Felicia. If the school had some sort of geek squad, they’d both be on it. Gregory was a tall, skinny guy with a long neck and glasses. His hair stood up in all directions. I wasn’t sure if it was some sort of fashion statement or what, but it looked like a mess.
“What about curses?” Gregory asked. “Can those be cast through incantations?”
Professor Loren’s face fell. “Curses are very dangerous, Mister Walker.”
“It’s all theoretical, of course,” Gregory quickly clarified.
Professor Loren’s lips pressed into a thin line. Finally, she spoke softly. “A curse—or a spell cast with malicious intent, to hurt someone else—can be cast through incantations. However, curses are difficult to cast. They stem from hatred and very deep, terrible emotions. Curses are against Miriamic law. Since the Curse Breakers died out, there isn’t a witch or warlock in the world who can break them. It’s best if you never utter a curse at all.”
Everything in the room seemed to come to a chilling halt. It was so quiet I couldn’t even hear the people beside me breathing.
After a moment, Professor Loren cleared her throat and returned to her lecture. She covered things I already knew, so I took to ignoring her. Instead, I conjured my positivity journal and opened up to the first page. That child’s voice was still nagging at me. Maybe if I could find the positive in it, it wouldn�
�t hurt so bad.
I sat there the rest of class, staring down at a blank line on the page and waiting for something to come to me. But nothing did. I was so engrossed in my own little world that I didn’t even realize when class ended. Ryan and his gang were headed out of the lecture hall when he stopped beside me.
“What’s this, Taylor?” he asked in a harsh tone.
My gaze snapped upward to see him peering down at me. His massive arms were crossed over his chest, and he looked like he was about to start something. I bet he needed to let out some of his anger after Felicia called him out in class. And I was an easy target.
I brushed the hair out of my eyes. “Nothing. Get lost.”
“Nothing, huh?” Ryan pressed. “Then why don’t you let me see it?”
Before I could jab back, his hand shot out and snatched the journal out from under my hands. I was on my feet in a second, reaching for it. “Give it back!”
Ryan shoved an arm in my direction, holding me back. Using his magic, he made the journal hover just out of my reach, while he commanded the empty pages to flip. He hadn’t noticed the writing on the first page, so the notebook just looked empty.
I grabbed for the journal again, but Ryan tossed it to Nolan, one of his gang members, who then passed it to Finn. The five of them laughed as they passed it around out of my reach. I bet they were so fucking proud of themselves.
I backed off and crossed my arms. By now, we were the last ones left in the classroom. “Aren’t we a little old for Monkey in the Middle?” I snapped.
Ryan let out a deep belly laugh. “We’re never too old to piss you off. What’s so special about this stupid little notebook?”
My hands turned into fists, and my jaw tightened. “None of your damn business, that’s what it is, jackass.”
Ryan fucking lost it. He grabbed me by my shirt and shoved me up against the wall in the back of the room. He landed a heavy forearm to my chest to hold me there.
“Talk to me like that one more time, Lucas,” he dared. “It’ll be fun showing you what I can do about it.”