by Nicole Hart
Jake: Answer my call, or you will regret it. I promise you.
Damn it. Why couldn’t he just leave me alone? But of course, my phone rang again a second later. I picked it up, because he had proven he was relentless.
“Hello,” I said quietly, but my voice was unable to disguise the hate I felt for him.
“So, you think you’re just going to leave me and go shack up with some other guy? How long have you been fucking him? I always knew you were a fucking whore. Well, if you think I’m just going to let this happen, you’re mistaken, you got that Mackenzie?” he said calmly; too calmly.
“I’m not fucking anyone,” I said, realizing I had probably never even said that word in front of him.
“You’re a lying cunt,” he seethed.
“I’m not lying, but I am hanging up now,” I said quietly, not wanting Kash to hear this conversation.
“You’re not hanging up. You’re going to listen to me. You’re going to get your shit and get your ass back home. I’ll forget this whole thing ever happened and we can just go back to normal.”
I almost wanted to laugh, but knew that would be a mistake. Normal. My life with Jake was anything but normal. He would probably beat the hell out of me if I ever went back to him, I didn’t have any doubts about that. I finally had a way out and I wasn’t going to screw it up. I didn’t want him, I hadn’t wanted him in a long time. He had made me hate him a long time ago and that wasn’t going to change. He wasn’t going to change, and even if he did, I was done.
“I’m not coming back, Jake. It’s over,” I said.
“How many times do I have to tell you that it’s not up to you?” he said with a laugh.
I was so tired of living under his rule.
“Don’t you get it, Jake? You don’t own me. You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore. I’m not living that way another day. I’m sick of it,” I said loudly, feeling a boldness come over me that I didn’t even know was buried inside me.
“You’re more stupid than I thought,” he said with a laugh, and then silence. He hung up without another word.
I sat my phone down and realized my hands were trembling. I rubbed my hands together trying to make the shaking stop. I wasn’t going to let him scare me anymore. I was taking control of my own life. The thought of it made me nervous, but I was doing this. This was my life. It was the only one I was ever going to have, and I wasn’t going to spend it being miserable. Not one more day.
Just then, I heard music playing from the kitchen area. I listened for a minute. It was Like a Wrecking Ball by Eric Church. I loved that song. I couldn’t spend the whole night in my room, and the smell of pizza made my stomach growl. So I ran a brush through my hair and walked to my door. I was going to have to get used to seeing Kash, and since my boldness was still running through my veins I figured what the hell, and opened the door.
I walked into the kitchen and there he was. He was in a pair of basketball shorts and no shirt. Figures. That tattoo of his displayed and my fingers twitched, longing to run across all the intricate lines and designs. I balled my hand into a fist and pushed that thought out of my mind.
“I never figured you for a country music guy,” I said, as I walked up to him and watched him slice a frozen pizza.
“There’s probably a lot you didn’t figure me for.” He looked at me with a wink as he sucked pizza sauce off of his thumb. That one gesture caused my boldness to melt away. I gripped the countertop to keep from swaying.
“Hungry?” he asked, as he grabbed a couple of plates from the cabinet. I wasn’t anymore. The butterflies had filled my stomach again, and I couldn’t even think about food.
“Sure,” I said, since he was offering. He put a couple of slices of pizza on a plate and handed it to me.
“Wanna beer?” he asked, and I saw him squint as he was eyeing my cheek. Shit.
“I’ll grab them,” I said, as an excuse to move away from him. I grabbed two Bud Lights out of the refrigerator and handed him one. He grabbed mine out of my hand and opened it for me, then gave it back.
He sat his beer on the counter, then walked over to me. He gently ran his index finger along my bruised cheek. I tried my best not to flinch. I also tried my best to keep from panting, since he was so close and touching me.
“What happened here?” he asked, with a genuine look of concern.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” I said. I didn’t want to talk about this. Not now, not to Kash.
“Looks like something to me,” he said, and dropped his hand.
But he didn’t push. He didn’t ask any more questions. He just grabbed his plate and beer, and headed into the living room. I followed behind him like a little puppy. He flipped the channels on the TV, but I wasn’t even paying attention to the screen. I was doing everything in my power to keep from watching him eat. How weird is that? The thought of him eating pizza turned me on. And then he grabbed his beer and took a long swig. I watched as his throat moved as he swallowed and almost had to cross my legs. This can’t be normal. He was going to drive me insane without even trying.
We finished our dinner in silence, and I cleaned up the small mess quickly. Kash went to his room and came out fully dressed. He was wearing dark jeans and a black long sleeve shirt. His hair was styled in that perfect mess that suited him. I wanted to run my fingers through it.
“I’ll see ya later,” he said, as he grabbed his keys off the bar and headed to the front door. I tried not to feel disappointed that he was leaving. My curiosity got the best of me, wondering where he was going. But I didn’t really want to let my mind wander that far, because it didn’t take a genius. Sam had already warned me about the way he was. I got sick to my stomach as visions of him with other women ran through my mind.
“See ya, have fun,” I said with the fakest smile I could muster.
“You gonna be ok here, by yourself?” He stopped at the door, but didn’t look at me, he just stared straight ahead.
“Of course,” I said, with a fake voice to go along with my fake smile.
“Ok, then,” he said, and gave me a wink before heading out the door. I heard him lock it from the outside, once it was shut. That made me smile a little, even though I was pretty sure I knew what he would be doing shortly.
Chapter 6
My paranoia was taking over. I was lying in bed early that night; I just wanted to get to sleep, but it wasn’t happening. Every little noise would cause me to jump. It was a windy night, so that sure didn’t help. I was a nervous wreck. Trying to fall asleep at 8:30 just wasn’t going to work. So I got out of bed and headed into the living room to watch TV. Hopefully a comedy would take my mind off of my fear. I sat on the sofa and realized how chilly I was, so I went back into my new bedroom to grab the throw blanket off the bed. I noticed my phone light was lit up, a text message. I grabbed it as I was heading back into the living room, turning the hall light on. I was such a scaredy cat.
Jake: Lover boy left you home all alone I see.
Shit. I knew I wasn’t just being paranoid. It’s like I could feel my skin crawl when he was close by. My stomach started doing flips, and my knees started to bounce under the blanket.
Me: Nothing is going on with him. I just needed a place to stay after you HIT ME!
Jake: Don’t put the fact that you’re a whore off on me.
He really was crazy.
Me: Just stop. Stop calling. Stop texting.
Jake: Your pussy must not have been good enough for him. He ran out pretty quick on you, don’t you think?
Jake: Left you all alone.
Me: STOP!
Jake: I’m not surprised though. You’re not good enough for anyone. I only kept you around because I felt sorry for you. You’re a piece of shit, no one will want you. Not for more than a fuck anyway, don’t forget that.
Me: I’m turning my phone off now. I’m done with all of this.
Jake: Maybe I’ll stop by then. I can keep you company until lover boy comes home.
Me: If you show up here, I’ll call the cops. I swear to God, Jake. I’m not playing your games.
Jake: Stupid Bitch. None of this is your call. I’ll make you understand that. Since you’re too stupid to figure this out on your own.
I didn’t respond and his texts stopped. Thank God. Maybe he would leave me alone, for tonight at least. He seemed to get crazier by the second. I had always known he was a spoiled only child, used to always getting his way, but this was ridiculous. He didn’t get to control me. I was tired of being controlled, told what to do and how to do it. I had never really even stood up for myself, my whole life, but it was time I did. I had no one else to fight for me, so it was time I fought for myself.
I started flipping through stations and decided on an old comedy that I would watch in silence. I felt like I had to listen for outside noises so the sound wasn’t an option. I hated living like this. I just wanted him to leave me the hell alone.
Around ten o’clock, I heard Kash pull into the driveway. I didn’t have to check to see who it was, the sound of his engine gave it away. The relief I felt knowing that he was here, caused my whole body to relax. At least I wasn’t alone anymore. Not that I was sure Kash would defend me against Jake, but I was pretty sure that Jake was too much of a pansy to try anything with Kash here.
“Hey, Mackenzie,” Kash said, as he walked through the front door.
“Hey,” I said quietly, pulling the blanket up over me, remembering that I was in a tank top, braless, with tiny matching shorts.
“Are you ok?” he asked, as he looked at me with those beautiful eyes.
“I’m good,” I said with a tiny smile; it’s all I had at the moment. What else could I say? I’m better now that you’re here. I’m better now that I don’t think my psycho ex-boyfriend will show up. I’m better, that just looking at you soothes my soul and drives me crazy all at the same time. All of those answers were out of the question.
He flopped down on the couch beside me and rubbed his face. I could smell beer on him, although he didn’t seem drunk. He almost seemed stressed.
“Are you ok?” I asked, as I turned in his direction and watched him.
“Yeah, I am,” he said, as he stared right through me with those eyes that melted me.
The good butterflies started again, and I realized I needed out of this room. Now.
“Well, I better get to bed,” I said, as I got off the couch quickly, holding the blanket in front of my chest.
“Damn, sweetie,” he said, as he was biting his lower lip, when I turned to look at him. I realized that my shorts were really short and my ass was probably hanging out of them.
“Oh, sorry,” I said quietly, holding one hand over the front of the blanket and the other over the back of my shorts.
“Don’t apologize for that,” he said with a little laugh, and I couldn’t help but smile.
“Good night, Kash,” I said, trying to hide the ridiculous smile I had.
“Night,” he said, as he stood and headed towards the bathroom next to my room.
Once I was in my room, I heard the shower start. He just showered earlier today; he must have needed to get cleaned up after whatever or whoever he just did while he was out. The thought of it bothered me, which was stupid, because we aren’t together. As I laid in my bed, I couldn’t help but picture him all soapy and wet, the water running down his body. Then, as I listened to the water running, I heard the slightest little moan. Oh my God, maybe I longed for that sound so bad I imagined it. But I knew I hadn’t when I heard it again. I couldn’t help but allow myself to picture what was going on in that shower. Surely, he just got laid when we was gone? Was his sexual appetite that strong? Probably so.
The house was pretty small, and it was so quiet I couldn’t keep from hearing those delicious sounds. He was so sexy, and I felt a tingle between my thighs just listening to them. I couldn’t help but place my fingers inside my panties, the urge was too strong, listening to Kash. I started to touch myself gently, but my fingers started moving faster as the sounds from the bathroom became more intense. Oh, my God. I imagined Kash on top of me, inside me, making those noises. I felt the tightening in my stomach as my long overdue orgasm took over. I tried to keep quiet, but it was too intense. I let out a quiet cry as my fingers continued. Once it was over, I immediately got embarrassed. I realized the shower water wasn’t running anymore. What if he heard me? My insides were still trembling when I heard a quiet knock at my door. Oh, no.
“Come in,” I said quietly. My voice had a raspiness to it that it had never had before.
Kash walked through my door in a pair of boxers, still wet, and he smelled amazing. He didn’t speak at first, he just walked over to my bed. My trembling insides made their way to the rest of my body. I was shaking all over. When he got to my bed, he hovered over me and grabbed my hand. He smelled my fingers, and then put them in his mouth and sucked on them for a few seconds. It was dark in my room, but I could see his eyes close as he licked my fingers.
“So fucking sweet,” he said quietly, when he took my fingers out of his mouth. I must have looked like a deer in the headlights, just staring at his completely unexpected gesture.
He kissed my forehead, and then stood up straight.
“Goodnight, Mackenzie.”
“Night,” I tried to say, but I think I just mouthed it, because no sound would escape my mouth.
Kash turned around and walked out of my room, shutting the door behind him. That was the most shocking, yet erotic, thing that I had ever experienced, well second. The first was the day I walked into this house and had sex with Kash without even speaking to each other. It was a whore move on my part, and I felt so guilty for it. But there was something about him, and he just proved it again a few minutes ago. Resisting him was going to kill me, there was no doubt about it.
Chapter 7
The next morning, I woke up feeling calm for the first time in months. Maybe it was the moment I had with Kash, maybe it was because I felt safe for the first time in forever, maybe it was because I didn’t have to wake up next to Jake. Whatever it was, I was thankful.
I was actually early this morning, and had time to sit and enjoy a cup of coffee before going to work. I had a stupid grin on my face as I gathered all my stuff together to head out the door. That smile quickly faded when I looked at my car in the driveway. All four of my tires were flattened. Damn it. I knew it was Jake. I just wanted him to leave me alone. Maybe I should try to file a restraining order against him. But I couldn’t even prove anything. My bruise was fading. I should have went to the police that night. Why didn’t I? I couldn’t prove he flattened my tires, and doubted slicing up a stupid stuffed animal was against the law. I really, really hated him. He was trying to make my life hell, but I wasn’t going to let him. I wasn’t going to let him run my life, my emotions. No matter how hard he tried, I would find a way to fight back. I was sick of being a doormat. Those days were over.
But getting to work this morning was a different story. What the hell was I going to do? Sam had to be at work two hours before me, so I couldn’t ask her for a ride. I didn’t want to ask Lainey. Shit. I only had one other option as my eyes stared at the sexy muscle car parked next to mine. I walked back into the house and shut and locked the door, just in case. I sat on the couch for a minute, trying to gather up the nerve to knock on his door. I had to be at work in twenty minutes, I didn’t have a choice. I took a deep breath as I stood up and headed to his bedroom door.
I knocked lightly but didn’t get a response, so I waited just a minute. Nothing. So I knocked again a little louder. Still nothing. I glanced at my phone and checked the time. I really needed to get going. Should I just open the door? What if there was someone in there with him? Although, I didn’t think that was the case, after last night. I didn’t have any other choice but to turn the handle.
My hands were trembling as I opened the door. But I almost fell against the door when my eyes took in that sight. He was sprawled out on his
stomach, sleeping. A blanket was just below his boxers, covering only his ass and the top of his thighs. The rest of his body was exposed. It was beautiful. His tattoo was practically staring at me, begging to be touched. It’s hard to believe I never noticed it, the one time we were together. But, I guess it would have been hard since he had me pinned against the wall. The memory of that day put a weight between my legs that I had to squeeze together to try and relieve the pressure.
The sound of the door opening didn’t stir him at all. He was perfectly still. He looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to wake him, but I really needed to get to work. I walked over to the bed, slowly.
“Kash,” I whispered. But he didn’t respond. He was a heavy sleeper. I could only see the back of his head, but I wanted to run my hands through his hair so bad. Damn, he was sexy.
“Kash,” I repeated a little louder, and touched his shoulder this time.
“Hm,” he grunted, but didn’t move. So. Freaking. Sexy.
“Hey, Kash, I’m sorry to wake you,” I said, in my sweetest voice, since I was about to force him out of bed when he looked so comfortable.
“Mackenzie?” he said, with a raspy, sexy as hell voice, as he turned his head and faced me. He hadn’t opened his eyes yet, but I was already about to collapse.
“I’m sorry,” I said, apologetically.
“What’s wrong?” he said quietly, as he tried his hardest to open his eyes. I could tell it wasn’t easy for him. He really was in a deep sleep.
“Um,” I was speechless all of a sudden. How do I tell him my psychotic ex-boyfriend sliced my tires?
“Sit,” he said, and patted the bed beside him. When I hesitated, he just gave me a sleepy smile and patted the bed again. So I sat down on the edge of the bed.