The other nurse goes to the end of the bed, near Peyton’s feet. “We’ll clean her up while you shower. There’s also a set of pajamas in there for you to put on, Kip. I bet you’re ready to get out of the hospital gowns you’ve been stuck in.”
“I am sick to death of them,” I say and hug my mother. “Thank you, Mum.” I kiss her cheek.
“You’re welcome. We’ll be going now. See you two in the morning,” she says then takes my father’s arm and they slip out the door.
Before I go into the bathroom, I drop a kiss on Peyton’s forehead. “Be easy with my girl,” I tell the nurses.
“We will,” the shorter one assures me. “You go take a nice long shower.”
Peyton gives me a smile. “I’ll be here.” She waves at me as I close the door.
Finally, some sense of normalcy.
Peyton
The new room and the larger bed has made Kip and I so much more comfortable. Two days have passed since we moved and I’ve managed to keep the baby where he belongs.
Kip and I have been mulling over names for him and I’m afraid that this poor kid is going to have some weird name as Kip is determined for the name to be something the kid has to grow into.
“I like Napoleon,” Kip says and I roll my eyes. “We can call him Nappy. That’s cute, don’t you think?”
I run my hand over my face and open the laptop his parents got me. “You know what, Kip. I’m naming this one. You can maybe name the next one.”
He shakes his head and picks up his guitar and strums it a bit. “No way! How about I get to pick the first name and you can pick the middle name?”
“Hell, no!” I google baby names. “Look, here are the most popular names.”
“I don’t want to name him a popular name, Peyton.” He strums out a little chord and sings, “Nappy, oh Nappy. Nah, I don’t like that one either. We’ll have to keep thinking on it.”
“Thank God!” I search unpopular names and remarkably something comes up. “Never in a million years did I think I would be searching unpopular baby boy names for my kid. The things you have me doing, Kip!”
He looks over my shoulder and points. “Oh, look at that one, Paxton. I like it.” He strums his guitar and hums a little. “Yeah, I like Pax, Peyton. What do you say? Paxton Reed-Dixon. I like it, don’t you?”
“I do kind of. Are you sure about the hyphenated last name?” I ask as he doesn’t seem the type to like that sort of thing.
“Of course our children will have the hyphenated last name. You’re going to be a best-selling author someday. I’m sure your parents will love to see their surname on the cover of a best-selling novel. The kids will love having their mother’s name as well. Plus, it’s like really cool, you know?”
“So, his middle name is all that’s left to figure out.” I continue to look down the list.
Kip wraps his arm around me. “Let’s use your father’s name as this one’s middle name and the next can have my father’s name as the middle name.”
“The next one?” I ask with sarcasm. “You having that one, Kip?”
“Of course not, don’t be silly. And what do you mean? Are you saying you don’t want any more kids? Because we are definitely having more kids so you’ll just have to get over that.” His arm tightens around my shoulders and he kisses my cheek.
“There’s the bossy man I fell in love with.” I laugh and the door opens and in walks Kips entire band and his manager, Silas.
“Well, hello there, blokes,” Kip says with a smile. “Finally decided to visit, huh?”
Bobby nods. “I was here the first day then went to San Francisco to visit my parents. But we’re all back in town and decided to come see you. That’s a pretty cozy set-up you have there.” He gestures to the large bed. “Can’t say I’ve seen a hospital bed that big before.”
“Mum found it.” Kip lets me go and sets his guitar back on the stand.
Silas steps forward. “So, Kip, when are you going to be able to get back to work? Not that I’m rushing you, but I would like an idea.”
Kip looks down and takes in a deep breath then looks up. “Silas, I’m not renewing my contract. I’m done. I may do a solo thing, but then I may not. I’m going to focus on my family for now.”
Silas looks shocked and Bobby looks pissed. His face goes red as he shouts, “What the fuck, Kip?”
Silas takes Bobby by the arm. “No reason to get loud, Bobby. Now, Kip, you can do both, be in the band and take care of your family as well.”
“I don’t want to though. It was fun, but I want to go in a different direction with my life. The fast pace I want to slow down. I want to make the kind of music I like for a change.” He shifts his weight and I can feel the tension in his body.
“And what about us, mate?” Troy asks. “The band can’t go on without you.”
“Well, just find another singer, or better yet, let Bobby sing. He’s great,” Kip offers.
“And what are we to call ourselves, Kip?” James asks.
“Come up with something,” Kip says and runs his arm back around my shoulders. I lean into him and feel his heart pounding in his chest. He obviously has been dreading telling them his decision.
Bobby points right at me. “Yoko, are you behind this?”
“Don’t,” Kip says as he levels his eyes on Bobby’s. “I hadn’t even told her I was quitting. She had nothing to do with my decision.”
Bobby frowns. “Sure she didn’t. You know ever since you met this chic you’ve been off. I mean look at you. Shit, you have to be next to her all the damn time. You’re too dependent on her.”
“Bobby, you just don’t get it, I love her. She and I are having a baby. Of course I’m dependent on her and she is on me as well. It’s what happens when two people fall in love.” Kip kisses my cheek and I blush.
“Kip, you don’t have to quit the band,” I say and look him in the eye. “If you’re doing it for me or the baby, please don’t.”
“I’m doing it because that’s what I want to do. It is true that the main reasons are you and the baby, but it’s also because I want to make the music I want to. I’m tired of singing someone else’s songs.” He looks at Silas. “So, I’m out.”
Silas throws his arms up. “Well then I have to move on too.” He looks at the rest of the band. “I won’t be renewing any of your contracts then. I can’t waste my time trying to get gigs for a band that’s missing the lead man.”
Bobby goes a deeper red. “Look what you’re doing, Kip! You’re cutting our throats! All over, Yoko.”
“Stop!” Kip shouts. “Don’t say another word, Bobby. It’s not my purpose in life to keep you three employed. You can go start your own thing. It’s not like you don’t have the same connections I do.”
“We’re out a manager now, thanks to you,” Bobby shouts. “We’ll have to start completely over. Do you know how hard it is for a band to start over without the lead man? Your name is what draws the crowds.”
“Sorry,” Kips says, quietly. “I’ll do what I can to help you guys, but I have to do this.”
Bobby takes three quick steps and is in my face before I know it. His finger in my face, he says, “This is all your fault.”
I know it is. No matter what Kip says. If it wasn’t for me, he would not be quitting the band. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.
A pain starts in my back and radiates around my sides and then my entire stomach feels tight. Kip pushes Bobby’s shoulder. “Leave now!”
Bobby turns and walks towards the door, the others follow him. Every one of them mad and not one tells Kip anything.
I am just like Yoko Ono, I’ve broken them up. They will never forgive Kip for doing this to them. This is all my fault. I should have left Kip alone to be the rock star he was. He could still be if I left him. Lots of people raise their kid with no father, I could do that. I should do that, so Kip can have his life back.
I hold my stomach as another pain hits me hard. “Kip, hit the button to call t
he nurse. Something’s wrong.”
His eyes go wide and he pushes the button. “What is it, Peyton?”
“My back is where it starts and moves around to my stomach. It feels like I’m being squeezed,” I tell him.
The nurse comes in, her smile fades as she looks at me. “Peyton, you’re very pale.” She comes to the side of the bed and puts the blood pressure cuff on me. “Are you in pain?”
I nod and feel like I might be sick. I’m ruining Kip’s life. He had a magnificent life, and he added me and I ruined it. I bend over at my waist as another pain hits me.
“I’m calling your doctor, Peyton.” The nurse says as she rushes out of the room.
Kip holds me in his strong arms. “Calm down, baby. I can see you beating yourself up over what just happened. Stop that. It’s not your fault and I can see you blaming yourself. Calm down and think about something else. I know, let’s talk about your next book. I think a sequel to your first one. Everyone lives happily ever after in the next one. No ups and downs, only ups.”
The adult diaper I have on gets soaked in a second and I know what’s left of my water just came out. I grab Kips’ hand. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry.” The tears swamp over and I’m crying.
He pulls me against his chest. “Shh. It’s going to be okay. You don’t need to cry, baby.”
The door opens, and the nurse comes back in followed by my doctor. “What do we have here?” Dr. Love asks.
“My water finished breaking,” I say through sobs.
“I need you to calm down, Peyton,” she says in a soft voice, but I can’t seem to. She turns to the nurse. “Go ahead and give her some morphine.”
Kip sits up. “No! I don’t want the baby all drugged up. I’ll calm her down. You do what you need to.” Kip’s hand touches my chin, and he takes a tissue and wipes my tears. “You have to stop this.”
His eyes look deep into mine and he strokes my shoulders. Lightly, he massages them as he continues to look into my eyes. I blink and take in a deep breath. “Kip, I can’t.”
One finger touches my lips. “You can. Look at me, baby.”
As I look into his eyes, I can see something in them that connects me to him. Eerily, I calm down. I sniffle and he holds a tissue up to my nose. I blow it and he smiles. “Thank you, Kip.”
“That’s what I’m here for, love.”
My side of the bed is laid back and the doctor checks me out and her frown tells me what I pretty much already knew. “You’re in labor, Peyton.”
I nod. “It hasn’t been a whole week. What are his chances?”
She pats my legs and smiles weakly. “Let’s not get into that. The pediatrician will have to tell us that once the baby’s born. Did you two ever agree on a name?”
Kip jumps in. “Paxton David Reed-Dixon.”
“Cute name,” she says and jots something down on my chart. “Okay, well, we have to move you up to labor and delivery. Kip, you’ll be brought some scrubs to put on. We’ll all have to be sterile since the baby is premature and we can’t take any risks.”
A male orderly comes in with a wheelchair. I suppose since the process has begun and can’t be held back anymore that I’m a little more free to move around. “Here we go,” the man says with a smile.
I climb out of bed. A thing I haven’t been allowed to do for nearly a week. My legs are a little wobbly as I get up and the doctor and orderly quickly help me so I don’t fall.
“When can I go?” Kip asks as he watches me.
The doctor turns back. “An orderly will come and bring your scrubs and once you change, he’ll wheel you up to labor and delivery. See you up there, Kip.”
I look over my shoulder at him and smile. “See you soon, Daddy.”
He smiles and waves, but I can see the worry in his eyes. “I’ll be right there as soon as I can, love. Remember to be calm.”
I nod and they take me out of the room. My hands are in my lap and I notice they’re shaking. They better hurry up and bring Kip up to me. It seems I need him like I never have before.
Kip
Out of the elevator we go. The orderly pushes me down the long hallway. We come to the door of the labor and delivery room Peyton is in at the same time that a slurry of scrub clad people flood into it before we have a chance to.
The orderly pushing me waits a second and the last person to go into the room turns to us. “I’m going to have to ask you to wait here.”
“But I’m the father. I want to be there,” I say and am left speechless as the door is shut and I’m left not knowing what’s happening. I look up at the orderly. “Can you please find out what’s happened?”
He shakes his head. “I’m afraid I’m in the same boat you are. If they say wait here, then I have to wait too. I’m not sterile. Most likely the baby has been born already. That’s usually the case if they don’t want anyone else coming in the room who isn’t essential.”
I listen hard to hear the cries of the baby and none come. My heart is barely beating as I wait. “He’s alive thought, right?” I ask.
“I would suppose so,” the orderly tells me. “It wouldn’t make a lot of sense to send in a team for a baby who wasn’t.”
With a nod, I swallow hard as I find a knot has formed in my throat. “I really wish I could go in there. Peyton must be a mess.”
The orderly smiles, “I have to tell you that the two of you are the talk of the hospital. It’s like you were made for one another. I have a good feeling about this. I think things will all work out.”
“I wish I had that feeling. I just have a ton of fear.” My hands I fold over the other in an attempt to steady the shaking.
The door opens and I jerk my head up to find Peyton’s doctor. “Kip! Good, you’re here. There about to take the baby to the neonatal intensive care unit. He’s a nice three pounds which is more than we thought he would weigh. He is needing help to breathe, but he can breathe on his own some.”
“His chances of survival?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “I’m no pediatrician, Kip. I can’t tell you that. I can tell you that Peyton is doing well. She’s stopped crying and had no need for stitches as there was no reason to perform an episiotomy.”
“She’s stopped crying?” I ask. “So, she was crying?”
“Well, yeah. She kind of freaked that you weren’t going to be there to see the baby be born. He was crowned when we got up here and the little thing slipped right on out once we had her laid back out. You can go in and see her as soon as they move the baby.” She takes a step back as the door opens.
In a closed, clear little incubator, my son is wheeled out of the delivery room. They stop just for a second to let me see him. I stand up and press my hand to the side. I wish I could touch him, but I assume that will be some time away.
“Hi, buddy,” I whisper. “You stay with us and get strong you hear me?”
“We’ll be getting you to the NICU in a few hours, sir. We like our parents to spend as much time as possible with the newborns,” the pediatrician tells me.
I give him a nod and they hurry off with him. Dr. Love takes my arm and looks at the orderly. “Let’s get him in there, shall we?”
I sit back down in the wheelchair as I feel weak as a kitten after seeing my baby like that. He resembles his mother and myself with all the lines running into his body.
Peyton turns her head to look at me as they take me in. “Did you see him?”
“I did. A little cutie don’t you think?” I say with a grin.
“He’s kind of wrinkly, and on the red side, but yeah, he’s a cutie. What do you think about him?” she asks as she moves the top of her bed up a little.
“I think he’ll be just fine. I have faith.” I take her hand in mine as they put me right up next to her.
“We’ll have you back in your room soon,” Dr. Love tells us. “After tomorrow you both will be released and you can finally go home. As long as things continue to improve.”
My heart lurches as I
think about how long I’ve wanted to go back home. But it was supposed to be a good thing. Leaving my son in here is not a thing I planned on or ever wanted.
“I’m sorry, Kip,” Peyton says and I can see the glimmer of tears starting up again.
“No! You are not to act like this is anything you had any control over. We have to be strong for him now. All that weakness you’ve been feeling while you try to blame yourself has to be stopped. No more of it. Do you understand me?” I ask with the sternest face I can muster.
Peyton swallows and takes in a deep breath. “Okay, Kip. Thanks for reminding me what I need to keep my mind on.”
Keeping us both strong is all I can think about right now as my own mind seems to be on the edge.
What will we do if he doesn’t make it?
Peyton
Two weeks have past and Christmas is near. My family had to go back to Texas since they had stayed as long as they could away from their jobs. Today Max and Lexi and their children are coming.
I haven’t formally met them yet. Kip has told me stories about them though and I feel like I know them already. Their twins were born early and Kip thinks they might be able to help us feel better about Paxton.
Since he’s been born, he’s gained a pound and doesn’t have to have a breathing tube anymore. He still has one IV in and sleeps most of the time. He’s eating on his own though and soon they’ll let me feed him straight from the old breast.
I can’t believe how excited I am to get to do that. It’s not something I ever thought about doing before. Kip and I have been reading everything we can get our hands on to take the best care of our little preemie we possibly can.
Our little boy has blue eyes like his daddy’s. They tell us they could change later, but I hope he keeps them. His little head is the size of a small apple and every once in a while, he makes a little cooing sound.
Kip has gone to the airport to pick up his friends. I waited here as there are five of them, three in car seats.
My phone rings and I see it’s the young woman from the airport, Rachelle. I talked to her once after we met, but it’s been a while. “Hi there,” I answer.
His Beautiful Revenge: A Bad Boy Billionaire Romance Page 46