“I’m not sure, Hayley. You see, it’s not that I don’t forgive you for leaving me, it’s just that I can’t forget it. I was left all alone to grieve. My father was a thorn in my side at that time. Anytime he saw me looking even the slightest bit sad, he’d say that I was much better off and that God made no mistakes. It was meant to ease my sorrow but it did exactly the opposite of that.”
“I bet it did,” she agreed then turned to face him. “I am sorry. I can’t say that enough.”
“And I know you are. But I was at my lowest, a time when a person needs the person they love to be there for them. You left me at my weakest moment. I loved you. I never saw it coming. While I can forgive you, I cannot forget about it.”
She nodded and sipped her hot beverage. “Shall we go to his grave?”
He took her hand and led her to the car he’d rented. Slipping into the driver’s seat, he couldn’t help but look at his cell that he’d left on the console. Even though it was nine in the morning in New York, Aulora had still not responded to the urgent text he’d left her the night before. He’d tried calling and she didn’t answer, which he’d figured she’d do. Then he left her a text, reminding her how they were in a committed relationship and simply ending things by shutting him out was not an option.
But his silent phone let him know Aulora might not follow that cardinal rule. He tapped the screen and checked his social media to see if she’d been on any of that and found it was void of her dry humor style jokes she’d post each day.
“She hasn’t responded to you, huh?” Hayley asked when he sat his phone down. “If I’d have known her name, I would’ve never told her all I did, Weston. You should’ve told me about her and what her name was and where she worked.”
He pulled away from the curb and headed to the cemetery. “Ironically, I thought if you knew about her and where she worked or went to school that you’d go to her and tell her exactly what you did.”
“That is ironic,” she mumbled. “And sad. I wouldn’t have done that to you. I feel bad that you think I would. I’m not some sneaky, underhanded bitch, Weston.”
“I don’t know you anymore, Hayley. How was I to know what kind of person you’ve turned into in the last ten years? Hell, you told me you’d been thinking about me for the last three years of your marriage. I had no idea what you would be capable of.”
Sadness spread over her face, making him feel bad for doing that to her. “I don’t think you’ll ever fully trust me again.”
“I can’t,” he said, even though he knew that too was hurting her. He had to be truthful.
As he slowed the car to turn into the cemetery, his heart froze. It always did when he came to see his son on the anniversary of the day he died. He went back in time. He was the nineteen-year-old kid, there to bury his baby.
The tears had already begun to sting the backs of his eyes as he followed the narrow road around the many graves until they were near the back of the huge place. When he parked the car, he looked over and found Hayley was already crying.
Getting out of the car, he came around and let her out, helping her out of the car. She leaned into his side as he ran his arm around her. So much like the day they had to lay their two-month-old down to rest in this place. A place that was never meant for babies or children.
“Do you think he really went to Heaven, Weston?”
“I know he did. Never doubt that. He was an innocent child. God welcomed him right back.” He gave her shoulders a squeeze and kissed the side of her head to comfort her.
She was shaking as they approached the grave and she saw the tombstone. “It’s been about five years since I’ve come here,” she confessed. “I never came here with my husband.”
“Did you tell him about our son?”
“I did. But I didn’t elaborate on us or how much we loved one another. I was still blaming you, so I left out things like that. I only hated you back then. But I still should’ve come and left flowers on his grave. It was wrong of me not to.”
“He’s not here,” Weston said in an attempt to absolve some of her guilt. “You probably thought about him now and then. He knows that.”
“I have to admit that I pretty much blocked him out of my mind. Up until three years ago, when he entered it quite suddenly. And that’s when I started thinking about you again. And how great you were to me.”
“I was pretty great, wasn’t I?” he asked with a light chuckle.
“You were,” she said then turned her head and before he knew what was happening their eyes locked and their lips soon followed.
Chapter 2
Staring at her cell with the text from Weston on it, letting her know their relationship trumped her running away from him or shutting him out, Aullie blinked back the tears. Tears had flowed from her burning eyes several times throughout the long and nearly sleepless night.
Weston was in Los Angeles with the mother of his dead baby. His ex-wife. And he never felt the need to tell her a thing about either of them. She was numb and felt lost for the first time.
Love hurt like hell and she finally understood the angst in some people’s art. The blackness of hell made sense to her in that moment. She felt like an empty abyss. And she hated it. She hated it so much more than she’d ever hated what her father had done to her and her mother.
Weston Calloway was a liar!
She felt sorry for him in a way. Because he was going to force her to talk to him and what she would say would hurt him. Aullie didn’t want to cause the man any more pain than he was suffering from the loss of his baby. But she couldn’t be with him. He’d lied to her about something important. And he was off with his ex-wife.
That was unforgivable!
Aullie tapped out a text to him to give him a chance to get out of the fight they’d surely have if he forced her to talk to him.
-Weston, I know you want to talk but I can assure you, you will not like to hear what I have to say to you. So, here it goes; go be with your ex-wife if you want to. I don’t want to see you anymore. I can’t trust you. I knew this would end, badly. Thanks for the heartache, it’ll make some really dark artwork. Peace.-
When she put the phone down on the table, she got up and a loud sob came out of her, unexpectedly. Running to the bathroom, she tripped over Bruce when he ran to her to see what the hell was wrong with her.
She fell in a heap onto the floor, crying from sorrow, heartbreak, and some pain in her left ankle too. Bruce purred as he walked back and forth, rubbing her as he seemed to be trying to sooth her.
“Mommy’s just breaking down, Bruce. Don’t worry,” she murmured between sobs. No reason for the cat to be brought into the shit she’d invited into her life.
When her cell rang, she ignored the chiming that it made. She didn’t want to talk.
Not to anyone!
Chapter 3
As if the Heaven’s had suddenly opened, rain began to fall on Weston’s back as he kissed his ex-wife at the end of their son’s grave. The water was nearly ice cold, rare for California rain, even in January.
He took her hand and they ran back to the car, getting in and breathing hard, they looked at one another. There was heat in that kiss. Both had felt it.
Weston panted then picked up his phone. Hayley shouted, “No! No, don’t do that! You know you felt something. Forget about her. I know you can forget about her if you give me a chance to remind you how much we loved one another. I know it! So, put the damn phone down. Delete her number!”
He sat, staring at the woman he’d once loved. The only woman to ever carry his child. He weighed it all in his mind as he looked at her. Hayley wanted to get to it. She wanted a family, the same way he did. Aulora was not only a wild card but she assured him there would be a pretty good amount of time before she’d be ready for kids.
Once his breathing went back to normal, his brain knew the answer. “I love her, Hayley.”
“That kiss…”
He held up his hand to stop her. “Was good
. And maybe necessary for us. But it was a one-time thing. I love her. I don’t care that I’ll have to wait to have children with her. I will wait. I’m sorry we kissed. I’m sorry it meant more to you than it did to me.”
“The truth is if she wasn’t in your life, then you’d give me a chance,” she said as he opened the text Aulora had sent him while they were out of the car.
When his eyes drooped, she snatched the phone from him and smiled as she saw what Aulora had sent him. She not only let him go but she told him to be with her. She handed him the phone without saying a word. The ball was in her court and she knew it.
“She’s just mad,” he said as he placed the phone in the console.
“I’m still going to make her talk to me. We had a deal and that was part of it.”
“That girl will rip you apart. She has that look about her. You sure you want to do that to yourself?”
He wiped his eyes and pulled away from the grave as the rain continued to pour down in sheets. “Even if I have no one else, I’m not starting things back up with you. This trip was a mistake. I meant it to give you closure that you seemed to need. I didn’t need any. I got my closure when you married someone else. I was wrong for taking you on. I wanted to help you and all you want is, what you want.”
“So, I’m selfish. That’s what you’re saying. I’m a selfish bitch!”
“I didn’t call you a bitch. But you are being selfish and I should’ve listened to my head when it told me to leave you alone. I knew this would end up badly. And I may have lost the one woman who brings things out in me no one else ever has.”
A heavy sigh came from Hayley along with her bursting into tears. “I love you! Damn it, Weston! She’s through with you! Please, give me a chance to prove to you I can be what you want.”
He drove to the airport without answering her. He tried hard to block out her bawling and squalling. He’d forgotten how dramatic she could be. He wasn’t sure how he’d forgotten that.
Hayley knew how to work him. She always had. He recalled the first time he asked her out. She was having a full-on pity party for herself, in the lunchroom of the high school they both went to, one afternoon. The boy she liked had turned her down when she asked him to the Sadie Hawkins dance. Weston saw her crying, all alone at a table, and asked her what was wrong. When he heard her woeful tale, he jumped in like a knight in shining armor and picked up the pieces, taking her to the dance and in grand style at that.
The feelings they shared were slow to grow. After that first date, she kept showing up in the halls of their high school. Walking along side of him to his next class. He would reciprocate her gesture and started walking her to class, instead. Citing it was the man’s job to walk the young ladies to class, not vice versa.
Before he realized what was happening, Hayley had insinuated herself into his life. Dropping by his home on Friday nights had him taking her with him to the ball games and then out for burgers afterward. Day by day, she crept in until he thought he’d found love. His first love.
He treated her special after he realized they were actually dating. And when he took her virginity, he made it special for her. Weston realized he was that man. He was that guy who wanted to rescue women.
And then he knew that was going to be his downfall. He needed to be with a woman who didn’t need him to fix her or help her. Aulora had never asked for his help, yet he’d given it to her in every way he could think of.
She was mad at him for buying up all her artwork at that show. Even though she needed the damn money, she had been mad and asked him not to buy any more of it.
Aulora wanted to make it all on her own and he had gotten in the way of that. Trying to fix things for her, instead of being by her side and helping her to deal with the outcome, whatever that might be.
“Thank you, Hayley,” he said as they pulled into the busy LAX airport.
“For what?” she said then sniffled.
“For showing me what I’ve been doing wrong all these years. I’ve been trying to help women.”
“That’s not a bad thing, Weston.”
“But it is if you take away from them to do it. When I saw you crying, I just wanted to stop it. And what I did was unintentionally make you think of me as the go-to guy to ease your mind, your fears, your loneliness.”
“And you’re great at doing that, Weston. Not every man cares that much,” she told him then ran her hand over his cheek. “That’s a great attribute.”
Taking her hand, moving it back to her own lap, he left it there and she noticed that he no longer wanted her to touch him. But she thought it might stem from how he was reacting to her touch. It must spark something in him or he wouldn’t bother to get away from it.
He saw her bite her lower lip and reach out to him again. “Stop that,” he warned her. “I can see what you’re trying to do. I don’t want to hurt you. Don’t make me.”
“She doesn’t want you anymore,” she told him as they sat in the long line at the airport.
“She’s just mad and that’s what she does when she’s mad.”
“Shuts you out? That’s not healthy,” Hayley said, pissing Weston off.
“You did that too, so don’t go judging her!” he shouted at her. “You know what, just be quiet. For now, be quiet.”
He picked his cell back up and tapped in a message to Aulora.
-I’ll take my chances. When I get back, I’m coming over to explain everything to you. I’m done hiding things.-
Aulora was quick to text back.
-Don’t!-
-I am going to talk to you. Don’t even try to avoid me. I will find you and if you’re at work or school or any place public, it won’t stop me from talking to you. I know how you hate scenes, so you should make sure we’re someplace private when we talk. Your place or mine?- He texted back to her.
A long time went by. He was able to move up a lot before she texted back.
-Fine, it’s your funeral. I’ll be home. I’ve already called into work. I feel sick. Sick and tired!-
“You should heed her warning, Weston. Why fight with her? She’s not going to take you back. You lied to her and went off with your ex-wife. Who you kissed.”
Weston looked at her with a frown on his handsome face. “She doesn’t know that.”
A sly grin curled her lips. “You will need to tell her that, you know. In the spirit of honesty.”
He looked at the cars ahead of him. The way they were all in long rows of what seemed to be endless lines told him he’d be there a while. And he felt the heaviness begin to form in his chest.
Honesty meant he’d need to tell her about the kiss. He’d need to be honest about it all. No more hiding anything. He felt like he may get defeated then he smiled as he thought about things.
Aulora hadn’t told him a damn thing about her past!
How could she fault him? She’d been as closed off with her past as he had! Loophole!
The traffic began to move as if that was a sign that he was right. If she played the, he was a liar, card by his omissions, then he could play that card too. She hadn’t told him a damn thing about her past. Not that he hadn’t asked her. She just always seemed to steer the conversation into a different direction.
“When we get back to New York I want you to know that I feel no need to talk to you anymore, Hayley.”
Her jaw dropped and her eyes went wide. “Weston! You and I share…”
His voice was stern when he said, “We don’t share anything anymore. It’s been ten damn years since we shared anything. That’s gone. I’m sorry we lost him, I am. But we did. And we lost our marriage and our relationship. It’s over, Hayley. End of story. It’s all over.”
“She won’t take you back, Weston. Then what will you do? Call me and see if you can take these words back. I might not let you.” She crossed her arms over her chest and huffed.
“We both know that you would, don’t lie to yourself, honey. But I won’t be doing that anyway. You see, I love
that woman. I know she has a stubborn streak a mile wide. And I think I might have one too. Because I’m going to fight for her. I’m going to make sure she knows I’m not about to give up.”
“So, the dream of having kids is over for you?” she asked. “I don’t see that.”
“I can wait for her to be ready too. She’s young. I shouldn’t have even asked her to do such a thing. She deserves to get to have her youth. Just because we cut ours short doesn’t mean everyone has to. I love her, so I can wait.”
“Noblw to a fault, aren’t you?” Hayley asked.
He nodded. “You know what, I’ve been told that before. By Aulora. And I’ll tell you what I told her. I am.”
The parking lot to drop off the rental car came up and he pulled into it. Parking the car, he got out and found Hayley waiting inside of it. He supposed she was waiting for him to open her door and do the gentlemanly thing. He shook his head and wiggled his finger at her.
Opening the trunk, he put the two small bags on the back of the golf cart that came around to pick them up. Hayley finally got out of the car and that’s when he remembered he’d left his cell in it.
Going back to get it and give the car one last look over, he found she’d sent a text to Aulora, telling her that they’d hooked up and she was sure he didn’t plan on letting her in on it but that she felt compelled to let her know, woman to woman.
The grin on Hayley’s face was enough to make him want, for the first time ever, to slap the shit out of a woman!
Chapter 4
Her tears were burning trails down her cheeks when a text from the woman Weston was with came across the screen of her cell, making her throw the phone. Aulora had managed to pull herself together, somewhat. Then the damn message came in that broke her right back down.
When would the torture end?
A light knocking at her door had her trying desperately to wipe away the tears from her swollen eyes and make her way to the door. A thing she didn’t want to do but she knew it might be the landlady there to ask about the rent she was supposed to turn in that day but hadn’t built up the gumption to get dressed and go do that.
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