“She needed a male to take over her family home before the invaders could think of taking it and using it as a vantage point against the Wish.”
My hands come to my mouth. “Castle Tsubame…?”
“I disguised myself as a man for her. When the Dawnlord took Althea, the castle fell to me. And to protect my charges against the invaders, I was forced to give Tsubame over to the Dawnlord—who in turn dubbed it a border castle. Thus, giving it over to…” she sighs. Throws her arms out and rolls her eyes. “…him. His rooms. The infamous Lord Hinata.”
A feeling of relief washes over me and I lower my head. I grin.
“What are you hiding? Hm?” Hana has come close. She brings her fingers beneath my chin. Forces my head up. “Don't ever do that—not in public. Not in private. You're still a silly little thing, Naia. You'd think hardship would have changed you. You'd think it would have slapped the nonsense out of you and forced you to mature. Why do you smile?”
I pull at her wrist and free myself of her hand. I take a step back. “Because he is not the Dawnlord.”
She snorts. Blows air from her nostrils as she snarls. Forces her lips back to neutral. “Do you believe he is any better? There were three men that took Felicity, Naia, a neutral territory. They plan to take everything east of Felicity. Everything. Tsubame is only the start of it. They plan to plunge the world into total war again, and you smile because one is not the other?” her hand strikes out—catches my chin and holds me there. I feel her nails bite into my skin and I wince. “What is wrong with you? You silly, idiotic, thing.” and she throws my chin down. Lets go and gives me her back. “Here, I believed you had changed. I believed you actually suffered. But the truth shows itself, does it not?”
I bite my lip. Narrow my eyes and clench my fists. “I am not here to trade pity with you, Hana. What I've gone through will remain here,” I bring my fist to my chest and thump it. Hitting my heart. “with me. You may see it, or you may not—does it matter? Things have happened and now I finally see the world for what it is, but I still have hope. I still have things to smile about. There is no reason for bitterness. None at all.”
I hear her chuckle. “And what have you seen, my dear little child? What have you seen?”
I close my eyes. Open them. “I have seen that I have been blind.” and I turn on my heel. I approach the door as I hear her laughter. Her callous snickers.
“There is more you must—,”
But I have no more patience for her taunting. For her bitter aura.
I slam the door behind me and leave in search of Hue's hideaway.
Only to find the panel molded shut with the ladder taken down. It lays in a pile of wood dust, the rungs cracked. Light brown splinters everywhere.
…
A day passes and I feel as if I have learned nothing at all. On the second day, the sun pours into our shared room and I'm up. Pulling my breeches on one leg at a time.
“Naia.”
I still at her voice as she mutters my name from her bedside.
“Naia, I apologize for my harshness. It is just who I've become—what I've needed to be ever since I took on the title of seneschal. Please, will you forgive me?”
I let her words sink into the silence of the morning. I find her bedside and sit down at its edge. She watches me with her lids lowered. Brown eyes are murky with sleep. “Lord Hinata…” she muses on the name. Licks her lips. “…you will like him. He is likable at first. But you must never let your disguise falter around him—he is the Dawnlord's spymaster. He has a keen ear and an…unnerving gaze. If he finds out that you are a woman he will believe you to be a spy—and the whole house will fall under suspicion. He will question each and every one of us through…unconventional…means until he finds that little speck of misinformation that could spell our end—yours, mine; the whole of Tsubame. The Dawnlord has been known to take lives ruthlessly—especially the lives of spies and traitors. Do you understand, Naia? You must act as I'm teaching you to act so that you will not fall under suspicion. Do you understand?”
I swallow. She reaches for my hand and finds it. Squeezes it until I hear my knuckles pop painfully. I feel as if my fingers will crack under her strong grip. “Naia.” she says again, her voice stone. “Do you understand?”
“Maybe I should hide—maybe I should leave.”
Hana shakes her head. “His agents are already here, Naia. They would report your sudden promotion—and then your sudden absence—to him, and it would look strange. No. Many will assume that you are my lover, and you must accept it—however unorthodox. If people assume such a thing, few will mess with you, but you must act like a man, Naia. And you act like a child—like someone who is unsure of themselves. The more you hang your head and show the world that you do not matter—the more eyes will stick to you. The more mouths will speak about you and graft rumors. Misinformation that could come to Lord Hinata's ears—that he may see as truth. Do you understand?” her fingers interlace with my own, her hand done squeezing. “If you cannot do this for yourself—then do it for me. Do it for the whole of Tsubame, Naia. Do it for us.”
I watch her fingers. I look into her face. “You gave me two days.”
Her gaze locks with mine. “Well now, I give you one.”
25. Sunder
The whole of Tsubame becomes uneasy. Everyone is restless and tense with the return of Tsubame's lord, the matter squarely on everyone's minds. None are excited for his coming. Anxiety plagues the hearts of all, be they servant or resident. Even the castellan is losing himself as preparation turns to downtime and interim as the whole of Tsubame holds its breath and waits.
Hana prepares me for Lord Hinata's return well into the night. The dawn of the third day approaches as her training continues. As Hana teaches me how to walk and talk as if I have an ounce of confidence in myself. Though, at one point, I believed the way I acted was just fine.
“For a woman, perhaps.” Hana cocks her head. Crosses her arms and nods. “For a girl. When you left the Orthella you were, hm? Fifteen, or fourteen? But look at you now—it's been two years, Naia, and it's like you haven't changed a bit.”
I avert my eyes but avoid lowering my head. The slightest smell of charred wood wafts on a gust of wind as it whispers by my ear and sends my hair flying. It has grown, edging down my back, and I am glad Hana hasn't mentioned cutting it. “I've changed. I'm more alert.” I tell her as I bring my gaze back. I place my hand to the railing of the balcony as I spot snow-capped mountains in the distance. Rolling hills. “I used to ignore everything, Hana. Don't you remember? A man could be dangerously intoxicated, and I'd just turn a blind eye to it. Thinking everything would be okay.”
“Now what do you think?”
I cross my arms. Turn my body towards the balustrade and look out towards the hills. The grass is gold. I hear a tree slam into the ground and I wait for the telltale ripple of sensation falling trees often bring. I shake my head when it does not come and breathe. “I think it's good to avoid drink.”
Hana snorts. “Unlike Lore.”
My gaze snaps to the side, towards her. “How is she, Lore? What happened to her?”
I hear Hana swallow. I hear her robe rustle beneath the movement of her arms as she clears her throat. “We have more important things to focus on, don't you think? Why don't you practice holding your chin at an inquisitive tilt.”
I round on her. “Lore is important.”
My voice has risen as my eyes have narrowed, and Hana looks taken aback as my frown becomes an amused smile. Her eyes look positively frightened. Before she fixes her face. Takes in a whiff of air and plants her feet. “Not as important as you keeping up appearances.”
“What happened to her?” It is a command. Words hissed through clenched teeth.
Hana crosses her arms. Forces her fingers onto her arms as she grabs them. “The Orthella burned down. Everyone died. Everyone. I watched Althea do it. I told no one. I let it happen and we moved on.”
“You
burned her alive?” My smile fades. Freezes.
“I did nothing. I let the Fates decide who lived. Who died.”
I feel a vein pop onto my forehead as my head begins to ache. Begins to split. “Don't bring the Fates into this—you did it! You could have intervened!”
“You know nothing, Naia. Nothing—,”
“Then explain before—,”
Hana sneers. Brings her face close to my own. Her breath is hot. Like fire. “Before what? What can you do, Naia? Hm?” and she backs away as I clench my fists. As I stay silent and watch. “It's happened. She's dead. Burned up. Gone. Are you going to hurt me for that? After all I've done for you? In times like these, we must do horrible things to survive, Naia. That—that's just one of many.” And she turns her head. Spits.
Just as the entrance to our room is rammed open with a slam and two feet come rushing through. Barreling through. The castellan throws his head towards the balcony, finds us. Sneers at me before bringing his gaze to Hana.
“Our great hall burns and you sit here lashing tongues with your protege?!”
Our eyes widen. Hana pushes past me. Brings her nose to the air. Sniffs.
“What use will that do—help me gather the others and evacuate the castle!” Hana throws herself through the door after him when he sprints out—faster than I've ever seen an elder go. I bring my nose to the air as well and smell the slightest hint of smoke. Of charred ceder fighting with the cool morning air.
But there was no noise. Nothing.
When I move through the castle, cordiality and decorum melts beneath a crazed flame of fear as Tsubame's residents sprint through the hallways. Carrying boxes, carrying cases—carrying children or carrying nothing as they rush for the castle's exit. I follow the flow of the frenzy, moving with the crowd as they shout and scream for others to move—for others to stop holding up the rush of bodies. Hana and the castellan have disappeared though I hear the castellan's booming voice as he hollers for children to leave first. For the crowd to back up and let the young go first—but fear has made these people deaf as they continue pushing through each other. Trampling some. Flattening others to walls.
When I make it to the stairs, the heat is deafening.
Someone grabs a hold of my robe. “We need to be the last.” Hana tells me. She shoves a metal object towards me. It's cold in my hand. It resembles the mark upon my arm. “If I don't come out, give that to one of Hinata's retainers. They'll know what to do.”
I nod, my lips a grim line. I think to ask if I can stay—if I can help by sticking close to her. But I know the answer. I know the answer and I nod as I pocket the emblem.
She smiles. Hardens her face and pushes me. “Go on, then, Kokoros. I'll find you when everyone's out.”
And I move down the stairs, following the crowd towards those big double doors at the castle's large entrance. When my slippers touch marble and I'm close enough to spot the morning sky, smoke parades through my nostrils. Constricting my chest. Making me cough. I turn to see it rolling from a large room towards the castle's heart. A group of guardsmen approach the fog of smoke, throwing off their iron chest-plates and other pieces of armor as they move towards it.
When one man throws a look over his shoulder, I immediately recognize Badger. I bite my lip and look towards the sky before rushing towards him. Ignoring Hana's training, I sprint.
The heat is worse here. Licking at me. The concealed flame inside breathing as if we were approaching the mouth of a monstrous dragon.
“Badger.”
Badger jumps. His angular face is free of his scarf and drenched in sweat. “What, runt? I'm trying to work here! Would you—,”
An explosion rocks the castle, the smoky mouth of the castle's heart spewing a monstrous wooden rafter that spirals towards us as I bring my hands over my head. Badger throws himself on top of me and I feel the weight of him pressing down on me. I hear him grunt as he presses himself up and I'm free just as a thousand voices cry out. Screaming. Rushing—running. Millions of feet scramble just as flaming debris rams itself into the stairs near the entrance. Voices erupt into a collection of explosive cries as the wooden rafter slams into the marble of the floor, the debris splintering with a massive crack that reverberates through everyone like the shattering of a giant's bone.
“You need to go—leave!” Badger spits at me as he pushes himself up and offers a hand to me.
I don't take it. I push myself up. “Someone started this fire.” I tell him.
“Well no shit. They're still in there and we're trying to get 'em out!”
“Can I—,”
“Unless you're resistant to fucking fire, I suggest you go that way.” and he points towards the exit. Towards the sky.
Just as another ball of flaming wooden debris flies our way and slams into Badger's three other companions. Badger shields me—throws me towards the left wall just as more wood explodes. Hitting him. Jutting through his chest as his other companions are hit. Burned. Scarred with smoking wood. With orange flame that reaches from the great hall with gnarled fingers before it retreats back into the room.
Those were timed. Those explosions were timed!
I'm at Badger's side as he bleeds. As he holds the splintered wood that juts through his chest like it belongs there. Like it's a part of him and he doesn't want it to move. “You need to get him,” Badger wheezes. Blood erupts from his mouth and he coughs. “he wouldn't hurt you, Kokoros. He wouldn't hurt—,” and he's coughing again. I press my hand to his back and I can feel the blood pooling from him. Dripping from him as if his body were crying through that hole the wood made. My eyes burn as smoke makes me cough and Badger smiles, the twisted scar upon his face swirling with the movement of his lips. With his free hand, he swipes a scarf from the floor. He presses it to my chest. “Go get him, Kokoros. I'll be right here.”
And he presses it to me. Shoves it to me and I nod. I blink away tears as I tie the scarf around my face and stalk towards the smoke. It billows and I want to look back—to make sure Badger's eyes are still on me—but something tells me not to. Something tells me to keep my eyes centered—fixed. Looking ahead of me in case more flaming wood is thrown. Just in case the arson wants to impale me as well.
He wouldn't hurt you, Kokoros.
Grey becomes my vision. Black swirls dangerously at its edges and I look around the large room. I walk slowly, keenly. I hear flame bite at my ears before me, but it's dying. It's going away as I come closer.
“He'll never return. He won't be able to come back now.”
A familiar voice. It comes from the very back of the room and I follow it. Firelight dies around me as smoke extends it's suffocating arms and grows stronger.
“He'll have nothing to return to. Nothing. I'll bring this whole castle down. All of it!”
“Please!” I call out—the voice pauses. Takes a breath. “Don't do that—thousands live here! Would you ruin their home because of one man?”
A snort. “He'd ruin the world for one territory. One plot of land. What's a castle? Hm? A home?”
“The livelihoods of the innocent!”
And fire roars in my ears. Rises like a crashing wave around me—but opens a path. Guides me towards the voice at the back of the room as it hisses. As it sizzles and roars like an injured animal. My skin burns. I narrow my eyes and cough as I continue on—as I throw my gaze over my shoulder and see flame broiling behind me. Waiting for me to step back. To turn and run.
I cannot be a coward now.
“None of them are innocent.” the voice is deadpan. Monotonous. “You of all people…”
The fire dies. Falls with embers floating and darkness covers all.
Hue approaches me from the shadows. His arms on fire.
And for a moment, I see that battlefield the soul showed me from so long ago. Slick with blood. Blackened by flame. A man on fire.
I step away. “Are you—,”
“I'm not going to hurt you, Kokoros.” his smile is a taunt as one arm exti
nguishes.
“But will you stop this? Stop trying to hurt these people?”
Hue sighs. Frowns and shakes his head. “You still don't get it, Kokoros! You don't! No—,” his extinguished hand is hot when it touches my shoulder. When it grabs me. “my father disowned me. The Dawnlord threw me to his most savage general—but I know why now. I know why.”
“Hue—Hue, please…”
“I know what you are to them. I know. And I'll be nice—I'll do as you ask. I won't destroy Tsubame, I'm going to destroy him,” and his arm snakes to my throat. Tightens and hooks me—just as fire erupts around his clenched fist. Inches from my face—from my hair. “and you're going to help me.”
26. Dark Skies, Black Birds
I am helpless when Hue shoves me through the smoking room, fire swallowing the hand of the arm that hooks me. That forces me forward as his captive. The darkness swells, bubbles and bursts as we enter the wide room of marble that serves as the castle's exit. Smoking debris litters shiny floors, as do the blackened and charred bodies of Badger's companions. Blood sits beneath some, staining the slick marble beneath them as the large splinters of wooden rafters double as pikes—jutting from their chests and faces. I turn to look for Badger, but hiss when Hue's burning hand almost burns a hole through my face.
A hand clasps my ankle. “Hue…?” Badger's voice and I look down. I whimper at the amount of blood that's drained from him. He looks ashen. Pale. Like a ghost. “Hue…this isn't how it was supposed to happen…”
Hue does not pause. He shoves me forward. Mumbles: “I couldn't trust you.”
“But—but Hue…” and Badger wheezes when we move past him. He's fighting for breath as I hear heels slowly clack upon the marble. “…I could bring this whole castle down, Hue…right on top of us…”
Behind me, Hue tenses. Freezes and I feel him turn his head. “Goodnight, starling.”
I feel the ground tremble. Marble cracks as tiny fissures erupt through the ground at my feet. “You have lost the right to say that.” Badger hisses and the cracks upon the ground widen as Hue roars—flame blazing from his opposite arm. Marble mirrors a dangerous dance of scarlet and orange as Hue flings the raging fire towards Badger.
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