Heartfelt Sounds

by C. M. Estopare

  I open my mouth—close it. I rip my hand away from her's. “I need to see Lore.”

  “Hinata's nightingale?” Shanti snaps.

  I hear Nyx gasp. “No—no, we aren't going anywhere near her. She's just like Calanthe—she can make a man undead—no, no!”

  “I need to see her—I need to make her stop.”

  Shanti rolls her eyes. “You have barely come into your power, Naia. Before you attempt to confront Lore—do you even understand what she has become, little one?”

  Ran groans, in the darkness I watch him cross his arms.

  “She's the Raven.” I tell Shanti. “She must be.” I bring my hand to where my heart should be. I blurt: “She takes hearts and sacrifices them to Yarne. Our Yarne—I saw her in—,”

  “The Void.” Shanti deadpans. “The black landscape with living veins—the Void, child. It is the land of the titans.”

  Nyx shakes her head. “But Vivek said—,”

  But Shanti silences her with a glare. “Gods create, while titans destroy and feast off of the energies of other life forms. The titan you know as Aeathann—the mother—seeks to reopen Heaven's Gate and use it as a portal into our world.” Shanti slides her gaze towards me. “The army Lore plans to raise will reopen Heaven's Gate—and allow the denizens of the underworld to pour into our own. Do you understand the power Lore alone would require to turn mortals into undead—to make them her mindless vassals? Do you understand the power she currently possesses, little one? When Yarne takes the heart of a mortal, she makes them godlike. Powerful in every right—yet beneath her charge. Beneath Lore's will and Yarne's power. Do you understand this?”

  My hand grasps at my chest. “I need it back.” I tell her desperately. “My heart—I need it back—and I need to stop her. She is under Hana's protection—I know where she is.”

  And Shanti goes quiet for a moment. Turns her face away from me and towards the far wall as she crosses her arms and thinks.

  “If she has your heart…” Nyx chimes in, ignoring Ran's heavy sighs. “…then doesn't that mean she holds some sort of control over you, Naia? Doesn't that mean—,”

  “Yarne has shackled her, yes.” Shanti snaps. “But we don't need to confront Lore to get it back. We could simply go to the Void.”

  “This conversation is interesting and all—but if we don't start moving,” And Ran shoves past Nyx. He approaches Shanti and I, and we make way for him as he continues to move. Trudging his way through the darkness. “whatever strange shit you all are worried about—it's going to catch up to us.”

  “But the birds—they wouldn't come down here. Not unless Vivek…” Nyx murmurs, her voice dying as Shanti turns on her heel, following him, “…unless he dies.” she adds quietly.

  Nyx and I follow suit, moving down the dark tunnel as Ran guides us.

  “Vivek said this tunnel would empty out in a few miles. Near the Red Gulf.” Nyx says, her voice bouncing off the tunnel's walls as she speaks. “I'm not sure how long we have, but…”

  “Make a decision about where we go from there, once the tunnel empties out.” Ran snaps, turning to face us. “This,” and he spreads his arms out, his hands pointing towards the tunnel walls, “this is all the time you get to decide.”

  47. Clearing the Way

  The tunnel stretches on into darkness as we continue onward. Our walk started out at a brisk pace at first—brisk and heated as Shanti and I feverishly argued about where to go and who to confront. But as the tunnel stretched on, minutes merging into hours as dense humidity packed on to us, our pace slowed as our voices gave way to silence. Gave way to the sounds of water dripping and the distant hiss of waves roaring as we edged closer to the end of this tunnel and the Red Gulf outside. Air edged with salty brine blows at us at odd intervals—swiping sweat away before the constricting humidity descends upon us once again. Making it hard for us to breathe as we pant in this heat—as we wish for more of that breeze. For a swift wind to come and call us out of this wretched tunnel.

  But it stretches on into what seems like eternity as Shanti and I are still unable to make consensus. As silence gives way to quiet anger.

  Nyx ambles beside me as Shanti pulls up the rear. Ran still guides us, stalking forward as sweat slicks his hair to the nape of his neck.

  “You two need to decide.” Nyx hisses beside me. “If you don't—I think we'll never leave this place.”

  “That's bullshit.” Ran murmurs back, throwing his gaze over his shoulder. “And you know it, Nyx. You feel the air.”

  “We've been feeling it for hours.” Nyx turns her gaze towards me, her eyes pleading. “Look, I understand that you need to see Lore because—what? You were friends some years ago? Back when you were a singer and all that. And I understand that you—,” and she turns her gaze over her shoulder towards Shanti, “couldn't care less about that. You just want Naia unshackled or something—and you think she isn't ready—,”

  “Lore will destroy you.” Shanti snaps, her voice rigid and dark. “She doesn't care about what you two were in the past—all that matters is doing her duty to Aeathann—to Yarne. That's all that matters to her now, Naia. And if she murders you—we lose our way of keeping that damned gate closed to the titans—do you understand?” and she rips her gaze away from me. “No—of course you don't. All you care about is mending ties with an old friend—a sister.” and her voice turns high—she mimics me as my lips become a grim line. As I bite my lip.

  “I could stop her—she could see through whatever this Aeathann has placed over her eyes—she would remember what we were!”

  “Right!” Shanti scoffs, crossing her arms. “Let's place the fate of the entire realm on friendship, Naia. Let us see how far your skewed ideals will get us once the denizens of the underworld are pouring into our own.”

  I hear Ran slap his hand to his forehead.

  “It's time I stopped running! I need to confront her—I need to save Hana! Now that I've got this power—I need to protect the ones who—who failed protecting me!—”

  “Failed?” Shanti roars back.

  Nyx stops—freezes in place and throws her palms down to her sides. “Enough!” she screeches as we stop. “Stop—stop it! Both of you!”

  Shanti and I exchange a glance as the shorter girl—the youngest of us three—hushes both of us with a screech.

  “When I decided to take you away from the Wish—sacrificing my sisters in the process—I didn't agree to this constant—constant—,” Nyx pants, her breath pulsing out of her nostrils as a frustrated hisses.

  “…bitching.” Ran finishes for her, crossing his arms as he stands firm in this heat. “For all your power, you two act like a bunch of kids.”

  Shanti hisses at that—mumbling beneath her breath as I lower my eyes. My face becomes hot—heated with the flame of embarrassment as I bring my hands before me. Focusing my eyes upon my palms.

  Akane told me Lore wasn't my friend—but I told her I had hope.

  Your purpose is to sing.

  And the voice—my voice—comes back to me. Sweat drips from my forehead, falling to my palms as they tremble. As they become drenched in sweat and I close my hands. I knead my fingers against my thumbs.

  Your purpose has always been to sing.

  “My voice is not my own…” I murmur. “…if Yarne has my heart—it can't be. My power will never be my own.”

  I need to see Lore—I need to save Hana.

  But how? How can I do that if I have yet to come completely into my power? To control it completely?

  If Yarne still has my heart…

  Would Lore truly kill me? Has she lost sight of what we were?

  What you two were to each other is in the past—the distant past. A voice tells me, and I relent.

  She has forgotten—but you must never forget who brought you to this point. Who protected you so that you may realize your true purpose in this life.

  And names rush into my head. A multitude of names—faces and voices. Their promises. So many
promises.

  Shanti promised to protect me. Akane and Hue. Hana and finally Nyx. There have been so many that promised to help me—that promised to protect me, but couldn't.

  Because I must protect myself.

  Because I must protect them.

  Your purpose is to sing.

  My voice—my words—my power…it must protect them.

  “I am selfish.” I tell them. “I am a coward—,” I bite my lip—unable to speak into the silence as we all hang our heads. As we take a collective breath and let the humidity shower us.

  But Shanti breaks the silence. “You are human.” She murmurs, taking my hands as they tremble. “Yet, blessed as the vessel of a god. We are all only human.”

  From there, we walk hand-in-hand. Enjoying the salty breeze as we come closer to the outside. As the tunnel lifts, the ground rolling forward and up. Before long, light is kissing our temples as fresh air soars above, swiping the sweat from our bodies. Drying our slick clothing, and urging us to rush—to dash and sprint towards the outside—to freedom.

  And waves crash all around us when we're out. When we're running on a beach doused with red sand and Nyx takes my hand. Drives Shanti and I towards the cool water—far enough that the foaming tide washes our ankles. She pulls us in farther and we're forced to swim—to laugh and spray water at each other as gulls cry out from up above. The sun's setting and the horizon is gold. The horizon is glittering gold as I look out towards the sea. As I pull myself back to land and stand beside Ran who looks on with a stoic face and crossed arms. He stares at the sun as it falls. As it makes way for the moon and daylight darkens.

  “I had a friend in the Wish,” Ran tells me—whispers and I strain to hear over Shanti and Nyx's cries and giggles. “an old Csillian. He'd tell me stuff about gods and bigger gods. About how they created the world and went away to some underworld—he called it Myu, but we call it the Void. Told me how the gods always choose people to represent them—'specially when somethin' bad was about to happen. He told me it was fate.”

  The sun sets fire to the horizon, as purple douses it. The colors playing upon the water. Merging. “And do you believe that?” I ask him. “In fate and gods and the underworld?”

  Ran set his hair free in the tunnel. Sable hair collects around broad shoulders—wiry and somewhat thin. When he fixes his eyes onto me, I notice that they are ablaze. Golden almost. Amber. I can see the slight curve of his collarbone beneath his sleeveless jerkin. The sinewy muscles of his arms shift as he relaxes them. As he somewhat faces me. “I believe that we are more than them—the gods that want to come here…” and he sighs—looks away as he twists his lips. He brings his gaze back to me when he's got the words. “…I believe that you are more.”

  “Truly?” I reply—taken aback.

  “Yeah.” he nods. “I've heard you sing—a song of death. A song of life. You brought her back—from the dead.” and he nods his head towards Nyx as she rushes through the surf. “So—yeah. You're more—you have to be. We have to be. Each and every one of us.”

  I make my decision, then. Nodding my reply as Shanti dances through the waves—sprinting for Nyx with her hands outstretched.

  “I've never seen her smile this much.” I say, speaking more to myself. “And she's right.” she always has been. Always was.

  From that moment she told me to go outside—to see the world for what it truly was.

  Shanti opened my eyes.

  Now was not the time to close them—to cling to ideals that have been lost to the passage of time. Now was not the time to be selfish.

  …

  We leave the Gulf when night's completely come, heading for the sands of Csilla beneath the bright eye of a full moon.

  Heading for the Vale.

  48. Sharp Winds

  A wandering wind blows as the green beneath our feet begins to die. Sun scorched sand slithers forth. The grainy sand dotting our path as the Csillian border of yellow sand begins to slowly spread out before us. To my left, loom fierce mountains free of sand and brittle earth. They rise high above a desert that makes its home beneath the all-encompassing shadow of a monstrous range of sprawling mountains. Clouds encircle peaks of gold as my gaze follows the jagged outline of mountains overshadowing a vast desert.

  A day has come and gone as we've made our way here. The sun stirs on the horizon, painting the sky a vibrant orange as it rides its last few hours of daylight.

  Nyx gasps quietly at my shoulder. “I—I didn't think it'd be so…” she brings her hands to her chest, “…beautiful.”

  “If we rest here, and continue on in the morning we'll enter the Vale by nightfall tomorrow.” Shanti nods, placing her hands on her hips by my right. “We're close.” she tells us. “So close.”

  “And Lore?” I ask her. “What about her plans and her undead?”

  Shanti scoffs. “Heaven's Gate is rumored to be in the far east. Past the Wish and the Vale.” she crosses her arms beside me and looks to the heavens as she speaks. “She will have to do some lengthy searching if she plans to find it—and before she does, we'll be there.”

  “And the Dawnlord?”

  Shanti snaps her gaze to me, taps her foot in the sand and turns on her heel. “Everything will fall into place, child. Everything will fall into place.”

  …

  We make camp near a wide patch of thinning green brush beneath the sparse shade of a crooked tree that hunches bare, gnarled, branches above our heads. The stars do not come out tonight as a desert wind howls at a full moon that peers upon us between a break in the midnight clouds. Everything is dark, save for our little camp molded from the brush. Orange fire burns between the four of us, the light slowly dying as the night goes on.

  Lines are traced through the sand with a thin tree branch. Near the head of the fire, Ran draws a makeshift map of the land past Csilla as Shanti guides his design with her voice.

  “Right here,” I look over Shanti's shoulder as she points. Three cylinders with conical points have been drawn in the sand. The lines are crooked, as if a child with an unsure hand traced the lines. Opposite Shanti, Ran drops his stick and pulls a knee into his chest as he watches Shanti's finger. She touches the cylinder in the middle. “is Selina City. The Paradise, my friend would call it. She will help us.” Shanti tells us, digging her finger into the sand. “Bellerose was an old family friend—and an extremely powerful sorceress. If anyone could help us create a portal to the Void, it would be her.”

  Nyx snores behind me, her toes brushing up against my leg as she stirs in her sleep.

  “And you're sure?” I murmur, moving my legs under me as I press my hands into the rough grit of the ground. “How long will this take?”

  “A day. Maybe a day and a half.” Ran answers for her, rocking his foot off the ground as he hugs one knee into his chest. “I've been through here plenty of times.”

  “Bellerose lives in Selina City's hightown. Once we find her, everything will depend on if she has the needed ingredients to make a way for you to reach the Void and retrieve your heart from Aeathann—Yarne,” she quickly corrects herself. “it could be only a matter of days. Are you ready to see her again, Naia? We were all so connected to her—in this life, anyway. Are you ready for what you may have to do to Lore?”

  I swallow. “Have to do?”

  Shanti hangs her head, chuckles deeply and shakes her head from side to side. “The Raven cannot live, child. Only your voice can truly kill her and send her spirit back to the Void. But with Yarne holding power over you—you won't be able to send Lore back until you gain complete control over your voice.” she brings her head back up and looks sidelong at me, bringing her gaze over her shoulder. “Are you ready for what you may have to do?”

  The corners of my lips tug down. I avert my eyes into the sand only to bring them back up. Only to lock eyes with Shanti and nod. “I am.” I tell her. “If it will bring Sorrel peace, I will do anything.”

  She smiles, then. It is a wry grin, a gentle curve of
red lips. “Let's see how far you'll go.” she murmurs. “Truly.”

  And I bring my hand to my chest—bumps rise on my forearms as my skin becomes clammy.

  As Nyx's foot brushes up against my leg again and my eyes begin to feel heavy. I yawn.

  “But, you won't get anywhere if we don't rest.” Shanti decides. “We'll leave with the dawn.”

  …

  Smoke chokes me. It grates the skin of my throat—making it raw. Making it hurt to take in a breath as I cough. As I spring up to sitting only to be blinded by darkness.

  The fire has been snuffed out.

  A figure moves in the darkness. Shanti's back rises and falls near me as I hear Ran wheeze a few paces away.

  Sand becomes dust as it is kicked up. A figure moves and I shoot to standing as my eyes attempt to catch the twitching shadow. I turn—throw my hands out towards it as it moves and I catch a sweaty shoulder. I latch onto it—digging my nails into the flesh until the figure hisses.

  “You're not leaving me,” I tell her. “Not again.”

  Nyx purses her lips—staring wide-eyed as I catch a glimpse of her face. She's crouching beneath my hand but makes no move to swat it away. She looks back towards the mountains before bringing her gaze back to me. She cocks her head and motions with her eyes for me to move.

  I shake my head.

  “We'll wake them.” she warns me. “Just—move a bit over there.”

  And I relent. We move away from the smoking twigs and sleeping bodies. We move a bit towards the backdrop of mountains at our side. White smoke curls through the black as I turn my gaze towards our little camp.

  “You're leaving us,” I hiss at her. “again. You're running away again!”

  Nyx keeps distance between us. I turn towards her as she crosses her arms. “You all seem set on going through the wastes—and I—,” she shakes her head a couple of times, moving it from side to side as her black hair shivers with the movement, “—I can't.”