Tidings of Joy

by Margaret Daley

  “Mom!”

  “Coming.” Tanya popped both pills into her mouth and swallowed some water, then opened the door. “With all your shouting you’d think it was a holiday or something.”

  “Funny, Mom. I’m starved. How long till dinner?”

  With the house infused with the smells of the holiday, Tanya checked her watch. “About an hour. Why don’t you set the dining room table and I’ll finish up in the kitchen?”

  Crystal made a one-eighty turn and headed down the hall. Her child’s grin, which was appearing more and more, made Tanya cherish the moments. The aroma of the baking turkey finally prodded her into action. She still had to do a few things in order for dinner to be completed in an hour. Hurrying after her daughter, she started across the living room only to come to a halt with the sight of Chance kneeling in front of the fireplace as he lit the logs.

  He looked at home in her house. She squeezed her eyes closed for a moment, needing to erase that image from her mind but unable to. When she peered at him again, his gaze pinned her with an intensity that stole her breath. He slowly rose and walked toward her. Her heart increased its beat, leaving her defenseless to his charm.

  He clasped her upper arm and drew her to him. “You look beautiful.”

  She felt beautiful in his eyes. “You’re not too bad yourself.”

  He cupped the back of her head, angling her so his lips caressed hers ever so lightly. “Happy Thanksgiving.”

  Hearing the sound of Crystal’s wheelchair parted them. Tanya’s heart still beat so rapidly her breaths came out in pants until she forced deep gulps of air into her oxygen-deprived lungs.

  “We never build a fire, Chance. Thanks.” Crystal sat in the entrance from the dining room with the dinner plates on her lap and her service dog next to her. “It’s been so cold lately. This is perfect.”

  “Yeah, whatever happened to fall? We went from summer to winter in two weeks.” Tanya continued her trek toward the kitchen, having enjoyed her little diversion in the living room.

  At the oven she opened the door, heat blasting her in the face, and moved the large baking pan over to put in the dressing. As she made the tossed green salad, dicing the tomatoes, carrots and avocados, the added aroma of the dressing with its corn bread, onions, celery and mushrooms, filled every corner of the room.

  “Can I help? Crystal says she doesn’t need any and sent me in here.”

  Chance’s deep voice flowed over Tanya, reminding her of that brief moment in the living room. He hadn’t really kissed her, but her reaction had been as strong as if he had. Actually a mere look or touch could do that to her.

  I’m falling in love with him.

  That realization caused her to drop her knife before she cut herself. Her hands trembled with the knowledge of how important Chance had become to her in two months. She awoke each day looking forward to seeing him, perhaps sharing some time with him.

  “Tanya?”

  He stood behind her, her body reacting to his nearness—her mouth going dry, her palms damp, her pulse racing. Get a grip. He can’t ever know. It would send him fleeing from Sweetwater as fast as the next bus could take him. He’s made it clear a relationship is the last thing he wants in his life right now.

  Plastering a smile on her face, she swung around to face him and wished she could step back, but the counter trapped her close to him. “You’re our guest. I’ve got everything under control.” Everything except myself, she added silently.

  “It smells wonderful.” He moved to the side and leaned against the counter next to where she was working.

  Not far enough away. But she resumed slicing the cherry tomatoes in half and putting them in the large wooden bowl. His slightest movement registered on her brain. In light of what she’d discovered about her feelings toward him, she wasn’t surprised.

  “Do you have to work tomorrow?”

  She nodded. “Why?”

  “I thought if you didn’t go to work we could run in the morning since it’s so cold, especially in the evening after dark.”

  “Sorry. It would be nice to run in daylight for a change. If you want to jog in the morning, go ahead. I’ll understand.”

  “No, I can wait until you get home. I could always get started on my holiday shopping.”

  “Like every other person in Sweetwater.”

  “On second thought, I’ll hold off. I don’t like crowds.”

  She slanted a look toward him, seeing more than she suspected he wanted to show. Crowds meant people like Wilbur Thompson and Jim Proctor. She couldn’t blame him for wanting to avoid them. Although they had been quiet lately because of her circle of friends and their husbands’ fierce advocacy of Chance, she was sure that wouldn’t remain the case. Those two liked to cause trouble. “You might be out of luck. From here until Christmas there will be crowds.”

  “But nothing like the day after Thanksgiving.”

  “Will you be okay with the Christmas lights ceremony this evening? There will be lots of people attending.”

  His smile didn’t reach his eyes. “But it’ll be dark.”

  “We could go late and stand in the back.”

  “No, Crystal will miss some of the ceremony since she’ll be sitting. We’ll go early and be in the front.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah.” He pushed away from the counter. “I could always go into work tomorrow. There’s plenty for me to do even though Nick has closed the office.”

  “Ah, working during a holiday. Better watch out. You may find yourself doing more of that.” Tanya chopped up a cucumber. The sound of the knife hitting the wooden board echoed in the sudden silence. She peered toward Chance.

  His face was pinched into a frown, his eyes fierce. “No, never again.”

  The strength behind his words took her by surprise. She scooped up the pieces of cucumber and dropped them into the salad bowl, forcing a lightness into her voice. “Why do you say that?”

  “Because there was a time once when my job consumed my life to the exclusion of my family. I missed out on so much. I promised myself I would never fall into that kind of trap again. I will quit a job before I will allow that to happen.”

  “Is that why you aren’t working as a financial advisor anymore?”

  “Partly.”

  “What’s the other reason?”

  He moved away from her, his back to her. The stiffness of his shoulders meant she was treading in unwelcome territory. She waited to see if he would answer. One minute ticked into two.

  “I don’t think people would trust someone to advise them in financial situations when they discover I’ve been in prison.”

  “Nonsense! I mean, you’re innocent.” She spoke to his back as he crossed the room. “How long are you gonna let others dictate how you look at yourself? You aren’t an ex-con, not really.”

  He spun around. “Yes, I am. I’ve come to accept that.”

  “Have you?”

  “It left its mark on me whether I was innocent or not. I can’t wipe those years away, no matter how much I would like to.”

  Tanya walked to the refrigerator and placed the salad inside, then shut the door and faced him, her hands planted on her waist. “Did Tom ever talk about Crystal and me?”

  Chance blinked, surprise registering before he schooled his features into a neutral expression. “Where did that question come from?”

  “I’ve been wondering for weeks, but since we don’t talk about you being in prison, I didn’t want to ask. Now we are talking about the time you spent in prison…with Tom. Did he?”

  Glancing away, he heaved a sigh. “All the time.”

  “He did? But he wouldn’t see us. He divorced me.” Although she tried to keep the hurt from her voice, she heard it.

  “That was the ha
rdest thing he ever did. After your last visit when he told me about it, he had tears in his eyes.”

  “Then why did he do it? I know he didn’t want his daughter to see him like that, but he would have gotten out eventually. Didn’t he want us in his life?”

  “I don’t think he thought he would get out. I’ll never forget the hopelessness on his face that night when we talked. Prison has a way of killing hope. It was dead in Tom.”

  Tanya pressed herself back against the refrigerator, her legs weak. She clutched its edge to hold herself upright. “I could have helped him. I could have reminded him that God was with—”

  “Don’t give me that. God isn’t in prison, no matter how much Samuel wants to believe He is. He may be other places, but not there.”

  Tanya gasped at his harsh tone. “He is everywhere, even prison.” Her limbs trembling, she covered the space between them. “God doesn’t give up on people. People give up on Him. Give Him a second chance. Open your heart and let Him in again.” She laid her hand over his chest and felt the thumping of his heart. “We have so much to be thankful for. Come to church this Sunday with Crystal and me. We have a special service where we offer our thanks to the Lord for the past year. You’re free. That’s something to celebrate.”

  He gripped her hand touching him. “I can’t—”

  “Please.”

  He slid his fingers over the back of her hand to link with hers, searching her features for some kind of answer. “I’ll think about it.”

  “If you want a ride, I leave on Sunday at nine o’clock.”

  When he didn’t say anything, Tanya tightened her hold on his hand and in order to fill the silence asked, “I expect you to pull into the driveway any day with a car. Wasn’t that on your list of items to buy?”

  “I have something else I’m saving my money for first, then I’ll get a used car.”

  “With winter coming, walking everywhere will be harder. If I can give you a lift, just ask.”

  “Thankfully Sweetwater isn’t so big that I can’t usually get where I need to go in a short amount of time. Besides, I like to walk.”

  Finally she slipped her hand from his and immediately missed the physical contact. “Well, at least you’re doing your bit for the environment. We probably all should walk more.” Tanya checked to see how the peas were simmering, then removed the turkey from the oven and stuck in the biscuits. “Did I tell you I finally got up the nerve to apply for a better-paying job at the bank?”

  “No. What?”

  “A loan officer.”

  “When will you find out?”

  “Tomorrow.”

  “Then you might have something to celebrate tomorrow night.”

  She shrugged as she withdrew a pan to make the gravy in. “I know of several other women who applied that are very qualified.”

  “But so are you and you’re dedicated to your job.”

  The heat scored her cheeks, and it had nothing to do with the steam rising from the turkey pan that was several feet away on the counter. Using the pan juices, Tanya mixed the ingredients for the gravy in the pot and stirred it while it simmered, the whole time aware of Chance’s presence in the kitchen.

  He made himself busy by giving Crystal some assistance in getting the table set, even though she had insisted she could manage by herself. He took the salt and pepper shakers, container of real butter, the salad dressing bottles and the salad into the dining room.

  We work well together—Crystal, Chance and myself. That thought fueled her overactive imagination, and she immediately pictured them as a family, sharing more than a Thanksgiving dinner.

  “When am I going to get to see that portrait of Nate and Cindy you drew?” Chance followed Crystal back into the kitchen, Charlie walking beside him.

  “Jesse is stopping by this evening before the lighting ceremony to pick it up. I guess it’s done,” her daughter said.

  “It’s hard sometimes to let something you’ve created go.” Chance took his place again at the counter not far from Tanya, leaning against it casually while facing Crystal and her Lab in the center of the room.

  “Yeah, what if she doesn’t like it?”

  “I don’t think you have to worry about that,” Tanya said, switching off the burners and the oven.

  Crystal sighed. “I know Jesse would never say anything about not liking it. She’ll like it because I’m your daughter. But I want her to really like it because it is good.”

  “You want someone to tell you the truth.” All casualness drained from Chance as he straightened, picking up the platter that the turkey was on. “Go get it and I’ll tell you the truth—or at least my real opinion. I will always tell you the truth.”

  Tanya bit down on her lower lip, the quiet heavy after her daughter’s exit.

  Chance stepped into the dining room and placed the platter on the table then came back into the kitchen. “I know it’s good, Tanya, but I meant it when I said I would tell her the truth. Nothing good comes from lies, not even little white lies.”

  The sound of Crystal’s approach silenced Tanya’s response. The serious expression on her daughter’s face tautened her nerves. Her breath lodged in her throat as she waited for Crystal to show them the picture. When she lifted it from her lap to unveil the portrait, tears misted Tanya’s eyes.

  The pen-and-ink drawing revealed a young boy kneeling in the grass holding his dog while a younger girl stood beside him cradling her cat to her chest. The expressions of joy on the children’s faces made a person seeing the portrait smile. Her daughter’s talent was amazing.

  Chance studied it for a good minute.

  “Well?” Crystal fidgeted in her wheelchair.

  “You know, I am at a loss for words.” He plowed his hand through his hair.

  “Good or bad ones?”

  The grin that encompassed his whole face said it all. “It’s beautiful. Great. Wonderful. Stupendous.” He swung his attention to Tanya. “Help me here. I’m running out of synonyms for an absolutely stunning piece of art.”

  “Oh, I think she’s got the picture.” Tanya gestured toward the beaming expression on her daughter’s face.

  “You really like it.”

  “No.”

  Crystal blinked, her smile fading.

  “I love it! And if Jesse Blackburn doesn’t, then something is definitely wrong with her.”

  Crystal blew out a rush of air. “I think I’ll be able to eat now. I’m starving, but my stomach has been tied up in knots, thinking about her coming to pick it up.”

  “Speaking of eating, let’s get the rest of the food on the table. I didn’t have breakfast, and I’m starved, too,” Chance said.

  As if they were a true family, all three worked to put the meal on the table, then sat down and held hands while Crystal said a prayer of thanksgiving.

  * * *

  On the ride to Main Street where the Holiday Lights Ceremony would take place, Chance thought back over the afternoon with Tanya and Crystal. A warmth suffused him that scared him. Even the prayer that Crystal had said before the meal hadn’t bothered him—it had actually soothed him. Memories of the times he, Ruth and Haley had done that very thing before eating had inundated him and hadn’t sent panic through him.

  What was happening to him? He didn’t want to forget his wife and daughter, and yet he had found himself not thinking about them every day. Instead, he’d wondered what Tanya or Crystal was doing. He’d look forward to seeing Tanya and her bright smile of greeting when he came home. She usually managed to be around either outside or at the window if it wasn’t one of their days to run or the occasional times she had to work late at the bank. And if she wasn’t at the window or outside, he’d come up with a reason to knock on her back door and see how her day had gone.

  He needed to leave
soon—before he became so involved in their lives he couldn’t. And Tanya didn’t need someone like him in her life permanently. He was emotionally damaged and with her manic depression she had enough to deal with herself.

  He’d been reading about manic depression and admired her even more for being able to pull her life together as she had. It hadn’t been easy and would always be something she would have to deal with. He was still amazed to discover people like Abraham Lincoln and Winston Churchill had been bipolar. Look what they had accomplished!

  Tanya parked behind Alice’s Café, and he hopped out to man the lift for Crystal. A cold breeze shivered down his length. He needed to buy a heavier coat for the winter. He hated to spend the money when he almost had saved enough for Crystal’s sports wheelchair. Although there was only one other youth in a wheelchair who expressed an interest in playing basketball, Chance knew there were several adults in Sweetwater who wanted to try forming a team. If not here in town, Lexington wasn’t too far away. He wanted Crystal to have the option of playing on a team if she wanted to. It would be the perfect Christmas gift, especially since he would be leaving town right after the new year. He wanted to give Crystal and Tanya something meaningful and lasting.

  He just hadn’t thought of the perfect gift for Tanya yet.

  “Hey, Chance, are you going to stand around staring into space all evening? We’ll get lousy seats,” Crystal said as she drove her wheelchair around the corner of the building that housed Alice’s Café.

  “It’s good to hear her eager to do something again.” Tanya slipped her arm through his and snuggled closer.

  “Jesse had a lot to do with her good mood. As I predicted, she loved the drawing.”

  “Don’t sell yourself short. She laughed all the way through dinner today and that’s because of you.”

  Her compliment warmed him in the cold. “It’s really not any of that. It’s Amanda. They are inseparable at the center.”

  Walking beside him, Tanya took the same path as her daughter around the building. “And on the phone in the evening. Sean and Craig complain they never talk to Crystal like they used to. Hopefully this thing with Holly is over.”