Tanya rushed across the kitchen and flung open the door. “Forget something?” She flashed him a smile and whirled around to hurry to the refrigerator. “Want something to drink? How about some brownies?” She left the refrigerator and rummaged through the pantry.
He took hold of her arms and pulled her away from the cabinet. “What I want is for you to sit and talk with me.”
She glanced at her watch then the clock on the wall. “I don’t know. Remember we need to get Crystal. I need to make her something to eat before we go to Darcy’s farm. Maybe I should make her something to drink, too. She hates apple juice.” She checked her watch again. “There’s just not enough time in the day to do everything.”
Tugging her away from the pantry, Chance scooted out a chair and sat her in it, then took a seat in front of her so he faced her. He held both of her hands between them and stared at her. She wouldn’t meet his gaze.
“I realize you didn’t really answer me earlier. Have you been taking your medication lately?”
She averted her head. “Partly.”
“What do you mean partly?”
“This week I cut back on my mood stabilizer. With the holidays and my new job, I’ve had so much to do that I thought if I didn’t have to sleep as much I could get—” The color drained from her face. She brought her hand up to her mouth. “What have I done?”
“Nothing that can’t be fixed. Why don’t you get your medication and take it now? Then call your doctor and check in with him.”
She rose and left the kitchen. A moment later she came back in with a bottle in her hand. After speaking with her doctor she took what he prescribed, then eased down onto the chair.
With a shudder, she hugged her arms to her chest. “I wish I didn’t have to take the medication.”
“I know.” He moved his chair closer until their legs pressed together. “You have to think of yourself like a diabetic who can’t live without insulin.”
“Everything was fine. I thought I could cut back and be fine. I wasn’t going to stop taking the medication, just not take as much.”
“But you were all over the place. You weren’t fine.”
Tanya buried her face in her hands. “I’m so ashamed.”
The steel case around his emotions cracked open. “Why? You have no reason to be ashamed. You have an illness and you’re under a doctor’s care. You need medication and counseling to help you live a healthy, happy life. You have done nothing wrong. People deal with all kinds of illnesses every day. Yours happens to be manic depression.” He covered her hands and massaged his fingers into her skin, willing his touch to heal her hurt.
She lifted her head, her eyes swimming with tears. “I didn’t make a fool of myself out there in the front yard this morning?”
“Nope. But it was obvious to anyone who knows you well that you weren’t acting like you usually do.”
“My doctor wants to see me on Monday then have me make an appointment with my counselor.”
“Do you want me to go with you?”
She shook her head. “I can do it by myself. As much as I wish things were different, they aren’t. I have to accept that. I have no choice because I won’t go back to the way I was right after Crystal’s accident.”
“And if you slip, you’ve got friends who are here to help.”
“Who helps you?”
“I don’t—”
She silenced his words with the touch of her fingers against his lips, the warmth of his skin against the tips electrifying. “Everyone needs help from time to time, even you.” She pushed the last of her tears back and asked, “If I slip in the future, will you be one of those friends who is here to help me find my way back?”
The question hung in the air between them.
His large hands clasped her smaller ones. “I can’t answer that. Probably not. But you have Darcy, Jesse, Beth and Zoey to help you. You have Crystal.”
But not you. That hurt worse than the realization she would be on medication for her manic depression for the rest of her life. Her little experiment hadn’t worked. She’d known better, but she had wanted so badly to be totally free of her illness.
She pushed a smile through the hurt and said, “Well, at least my yard is decorated for the holidays. Now all we need is the Christmas tree.”
“And we’re picking that out later this afternoon.”
“Yeah, Darcy’s latest idea is a good one. I can’t wait.”
“Good? You aren’t the one who will be chopping the tree down.”
“True.” She squeezed his upper arm. “But you’ve got the muscles to do the job. I don’t.” She flexed hers. “Not promising.”
“You’ve got a point there. When do we meet everyone at the farm?”
“In a little over an hour. I volunteered to bring some cookies.” She slapped a hand over her mouth. “Oh, no. I forgot. I volunteered to bring some homemade cookies.”
“You don’t have any?”
“Nope.”
Chance rose and held out his hand. “C’mon. We’ve got an hour until we pick Crystal up at the youth center. I can help you with the cookies. That is, if you have the ingredients.”
“You bake?”
He tugged her to her feet. “Nope, but I can follow directions. Lead the way.”
* * *
The scent of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies saturated the van with its scintillating aroma. After parking in front of the youth center, Tanya hopped down and hurried toward the building with Chance right behind her. The cold, crisp air wrapped its icy fingers around her, prodding her to move even faster. She sidestepped a mound of dirty snow plowed off the sidewalk and mounted the steps.
Inside the warmth of the center chased away the chill gripping her. “Crystal should have finished tutoring Amanda and Brady.” Tanya looked up and down the long hall. “I thought she would be out here waiting since we’re a little late.”
“You called her to let her know we were running behind. Maybe she’s in the gym. The Saturday Basketball League is playing a game right now and Grant is one of the players. Maybe she’s watching.”
“I guess,” she murmured, listening to the stomping and shouting coming from the gym. But the hairs on her nape tingled.
For the past month everything had been calm with Crystal as if Holly had decided to stop harassing her daughter. Crystal had even insisted on going to the center without Chance there to watch over her. Now, however, Tanya had second thoughts. She’d asked Crystal to be in the front hall waiting since they were behind schedule.
Chance stared at her for a few seconds. “I’ll look in the gym. You take the classrooms on the right. Then I’ll check the ones on the left.”
Amanda was with her daughter. She would be okay. She was overreacting. She noticed some doors were open, some closed. Those rooms were the ones she would check first.
Tanya opened the door to the nearest room. Empty. She moved to the second one. A group of twelve-and thirteen-year-olds were talking. Her hand shook as she gripped the handle on the third one. For some reason she inched it open quietly. Low voices, furious and sharp, accosted her as she peeked inside.
“We’ve had enough of you spreading rumors and gossip about Crystal and now Amanda.” Eddy stood in a warrior’s stance in front of Holly and her friend. On one side of the young man was Jane and on the other Brady. “It’s wrong. It’s against what Christ taught us is right. Crystal and Amanda have tried to be nice to you this past month and all you’ve done is make their lives unbearable. Not anymore. We won’t let it happen.” Eddy gestured toward his friends around him.
Holly pushed against him. “Get out of my way. I’ll tell my father.”
Eddy crossed his arms over his chest. “Go ahead. And then we’ll tell about the graffiti about Crystal and Amanda that
you wrote on the girls’ bathroom walls here and at school.”
“I didn’t do it! She lies!” Holly pointed toward Crystal sitting in her wheelchair off to the side with Amanda next to her.
“I saw you,” Jane said, stepping in front of Eddy. “I expect you to have the walls here at the center cleaned off today and the ones at school on Monday.”
“I won’t—”
“It isn’t negotiable, Holly.” Jane held her ground.
“I have friends that—”
“I think you’ll discover your ‘friends’ won’t fight this battle with you. You need to take lessons from Crystal on what a good friend is. You aren’t one.”
Tanya sensed Chance come up behind her. He put his hands on her shoulders and squeezed them. Tears crowded her eyes as she watched the group of teens deal with Crystal’s tormentors.
“We will not stand by and watch you hurt our friend.” Eddy walked to Crystal and positioned himself next to her.
When Brady followed, standing beside Amanda, Jane said, “So what’s your choice? Leave or take care of your mess.”
Holly glared at Crystal, her hands curling and uncurling. A tense silence vibrated the air. Finally Holly huffed and said, “I’ll clean it up,” then flounced out of the room, throwing a glare at Tanya as she passed her.
Tears ran down Tanya’s cheeks, matching the ones that coursed down her daughter’s.
The older teens circled Crystal’s wheelchair with Eddy saying, “There isn’t a place at this center or in this town for a bully. If she bothers you again, Crystal, let me know. There are a group of us dedicated to taking care of people who try to bully. We won’t tolerate it.”
“But she does have a lot of friends who don’t care—”
Eddy knelt in front of Crystal, taking her hand. “No, she doesn’t. They just don’t know what to do when she bullies someone. Dane is gonna start some classes on bullying and what to do in a situation where you’re harassed by a classmate or you witness someone bullying another. If we allow bullying,” Eddy pointed to himself, “then it will happen. But if we don’t, we can stop it.”
Jane grinned. “Hey, kid, I haven’t been watching you grow up for nothing. I’m your friend. Come to me if there’s a problem. What are friends for but to help?”
Tanya turned away from the scene, a lump lodged in her throat. She knew Crystal had seen her, but she wanted to give her daughter some privacy with her friends. Besides, she needed time to gather her own composure after what she had witnessed. Friends coming to the aid of a friend in trouble. Crystal would be all right as long as she had good friends around her. And so would she as Chance had pointed out earlier that day. Even if he left—and she knew he would—she would be all right. Her heart would break, but she would make it because she had the support she needed in place with her friends and the love of the Lord.
Tanya waited by the front door with Chance. She saw Holly and her friend go into the girls’ bathroom with some cleaning supplies. The anger in the teen’s expression saddened her.
Chance stared at the restroom door through which the two girls had disappeared. “Bullies aren’t born. Holly was made. Remember when I witnessed her dad yelling at her and telling her how stupid she was? They are not the perfect family everyone’s been led to believe. As I told you after the Holiday Light Ceremony, I have a feeling Holly learned the tactics of a bully from her father.”
“That doesn’t surprise me after what he’s tried to do with you.”
“But the tactics aren’t working with me. I don’t care what he thinks, and I have friends to help me. Jim and Wilbur are nothing compared to the predators in prison.”
“Most people in Sweetwater are seeing what you’re doing. Some of their children are getting the help they need in math because of you.”
“It’s not just me tutoring.” He straightened as he saw Crystal driving her wheelchair toward them. “Your daughter has a natural talent for teaching.”
“I’m discovering my daughter has a lot of talents. She may not be able to walk, but God has gifted her with so much.” Tanya pushed open the front door. “You all ready? The best trees are probably gone by now.”
Crystal with a huge grin on her face headed out into the cold. “Nah. I bet Darcy is waiting for us to arrive before they start.”
When everyone was settled in the van and the heater blasted warm air, Tanya backed out of her parking space and drove toward Darcy’s family farm. Anticipation of the fun to come hummed through her veins. For the first time in months she experienced hope that her daughter would be all right. Crystal might have to deal with being in a wheelchair the rest of her life, but then people often had something they had to deal with their whole life—like her manic depression.
Fifteen minutes later Tanya parked next to a horse barn, noticing that they were the last to arrive at Darcy’s. Several other vehicles were already there, which meant everyone was inside the brown structure, waiting for them just as Crystal had said. In the barn some of the horses were saddled while others were being readied to ride.
Tanya noticed that everyone had horses. “I don’t know why I agreed to this. I don’t ride.”
Darcy lumbered over to them. “I’ve been having some contractions so I’m giving you the sled. Dad and Sean are gonna get our tree while Joshua and I stay back, just in case.”
Tanya pointed at her friend’s large round stomach. “Just in case you have the baby today? You should have called and canceled this outing.”
“No way. We need a tree and we have a whole forest of Christmas trees waiting for everyone to choose one for their living rooms.” Darcy smiled at Crystal. “Sorry, but you have to ride with your mom and Chance. Though it’s probably a good thing. You can keep those two in line.”
Tanya sidled next to Chance and whispered, “Okay, do I look as red as Crystal’s scarf?”
He studied her—a mistake to ask him, Tanya decided because the heat intensified on her face.
His dimpled grin appeared. “Your friends have a refreshing candor.”
“I wasn’t gonna call their meddling refreshing.”
“Let’s go, Mom, Chance. Everyone’s ready to go. The sled’s out back.”
Sean wheeled Crystal toward the back doors. A blast of cold swept into the barn when he opened them. Samuel mounted after Craig got on his horse and Allie rode behind him. Beth stayed behind because of her pregnancy. Jane climbed into her saddle, her animal tied next to Jesse and Nick’s. Nate and Cindy were already on two small mares which their parents were going to lead. Darcy’s dad was at the front of the group with Sean next to him. Zoey and Dane were the last to get on their geldings. Joshua handed up Mandy to Zoey and Dane took Tara. Blake hopped onto his own horse.
“When you get the perfect tree and cut it down, head back here. There will be hot chocolate and sweets waiting,” Darcy announced to the group while Tanya ascended the sled.
Chance lifted Crystal out of her wheelchair and placed her next to Tanya. Then he climbed up onto the sled and took the reins. “Ready? Joshua told me a great place to look for the perfect tree.”
All the horses and riders headed out into the snow-covered pasture near the barn. Chance directed the two horses pulling the sled along the road that led to the back part of the farm. Tanya wrapped the wool blanket around their legs, then snuggled down into the warmth created by being sandwiched between her daughter and Chance.
The tinkles of bells, hanging off the sled, echoed through the cold air as they glided farther away from the barn. Gray clouds roiled across the sky, churning and eating up the blue. The wind, scented with the hint of snow, picked up.
Away from people and animals the cover of snow was unbroken, a white carpet lying over the ground with trees and bushes poking up out of it. In the distance she saw the pines that Chance was heading toward. Some shot up tow
ard the sky, tall, majestic. No way one of them would get inside her house. Maybe a seven-foot tree, she thought, excited at the prospects of sharing the holidays with Chance.
He pulled back on the reins and stopped the horses at the edge of a copse that fed into a larger forest bordering the lake. “Anything call to you?”
Crystal giggled. “Nothing’s calling ‘cut me,’ but I like that one.”
Tanya looked toward the four-foot tree that stood slightly apart from the others as if it had been shunned because its scraggy branches would hold only a third, possibly a half, of her ornaments. “Don’t you want something bigger? Our living room could take a tree up to maybe seven feet tall.”
Her daughter cocked her head to the side and studied the scrawny pine. “Nope. It needs us. No one else would pick it.” She turned toward Tanya, excitement gleaming in her eyes. “It’s small enough that we could dig it up instead of cutting it down and maybe after Christmas plant it in our yard. Do you think we could?” Her hopeful gaze traveled from Tanya to Chance.
He peered at Crystal for a few seconds, then slid his regard back toward the pine, its limbs gently waving in the light breeze. “I’ll have to come back. All I have is an ax.”
“Will you, Chance? Please?”
Her daughter’s enthusiasm infused each of her words, making Tanya excited, too. “I can help. We can come back tomorrow after church.”
“I can try, but it might not make it. I might not be able to get all of its root system.”
“Maybe Joshua knows what to do. He loves to work in his yard.” Tanya surveyed the undersized Christmas tree and warmed to the idea of loading its branches down with the ornaments that meant the most to her and Crystal.
Chance prodded the horses forward and swung the sled in a wide circle. “I’ll ask him when we get to the barn. We can all come back tomorrow afternoon if Darcy will loan us the sled again. I don’t think this snow will melt anytime soon.”
Tidings of Joy Page 14