by JIrwin
From Us to You
Looking for your inner....ME
Growing up I (Jackie) did a lot of firsts and by firsts I'm referring to setting trends or stepping out of the box that was considered society's norm. By doing those things I heard a lot of, well I'll just call it, noise from a lot of people that didn't understand me. I can look back now and see there was a lot that spoke out of their own insecurities, afraid to be the one that swam up stream or stood out in the crowd for fear of being laughed at or being made fun of if they did. Whatever the case I'll probably never know the whys or the particulars of why they did what they did. However, I can look back now and know that, even though painful then, it has all worked together for the good and made me stronger.
I was one of the first in school to have the cartilage in my upper ear pierced. I wound up with four piercings in one ear and three in the other. I got laughed at majorly for that one and teased just how many holes do you have in your head, but I didn't take them out. I liked them, it was....Me. I wore a ring on my middle finger between the first and second knuckle because the design looked better there and I got a lot of noise about it being too small for my finger, but I liked it there, it was....Me. I listened to oldies music from the 50s/60s/70s in high school. Who knew back then it was because I have an eclectic ear. I liked it, it was....Me. When my peers were wearing jazz shoes with their jeans, I wore black and white oxfords like the girls from the 1950s did. I liked them, they were....Me. I loved to read and write and spent many Friday nights at home because I wanted to either write or finish a book. I loved to read/write because well, it was.....Me. I guess you could say that I found the Me in me a lot earlier than my peers in school did and in doing so I got noise and not always the good kind.
I know, I know all of the things I mentioned previously are old people stuff and don't take it as I don't know that times are different now, social media alone is probably the best worst nightmare we have and it certainly isn't a person's best friend at times. Thank goodness we didn't have it back then and even though we didn't just know that on some level somewhere whether young person or old, we have all dealt with peer pressure and bullying at some point and time in our lives. It's an evil that knows no time restraint. So believe it or not, YOU are not alone. Even though you might encounter opposition along the way. It doesn't have to be difficult. Being on the front lines of life and in all honesty let's face it, stepping out and doing things first or different from societies norm or other people's version of the norm, is being on the front lines of life. Being on the front lines of life is like walking down an unclear, unchartered path and that is a pretty adventurous and cool place to be. When you're plowing new territory with new or different ideas outside the box, don't give up just because it's not something someone else might not like. Be yourself and surround yourself with people that encourage you, support you and believe in you as a person and don't judge you. You're unique and that's an awesome thing!
Now to those that might have been the distributor of the abuse, remember you don’t have to stay in that incessant pool of negativity and peer pressure. Mistakes can be used as learning tools to better yourself. So do yourself a favor......GET UP & GET OUT OF IT! Staying in it won't do you any good. It’s a vast, dark hole of yuck that wants to consume you……and don’t let guilt eat at you either. Just know that it’s never too late to ask forgiveness, change your ways and walk a different path. You have a chance to be different. Remember, You do have a choice in how you treat people and it's all up to you.
However, when you have evaluated your behavior, asked forgiveness and changed your walk don't dwell on the things that you've done. I'm gonna repeat that. DO NOT DWELL on your past failures or for that matter the negativity that other people may say about your past! Take the good from the situation you've evaluated, learn from the it, whether it's what to do or not to do and let the noise of the rest of it fade into the background as you grow, becoming the Me you really wanna be. It may take a little bit to gain the trust of others back and all you can do is try so don't worry over it, let it go and let God handle the way they receive the new you.
Bottom line to those that have bullied or have given peer pressure and to those that have been the victims of bullying and peer pressure....
Choose to surround yourself with mentors, people and friends that are positive and encouraging. Talk to mentors about your feelings, don't keep them bottled up. Ask your school or church about starting a mentorship program for bullying and most definitely let someone know if you are being bullied or the victim of peer pressure. It's not an option to take yourself out of the equation with suicide, that's only hurting the ones that love you. We all need help at some point in our lives, it’s not a weakness to ask for it or to talk about it.
We hope you learn to develop healthy and positive relationships that will help you to find your inner Me because whether you realize it or not, your inner Me is pretty awesome and so very uniquely You!
And remember, High School does NOT last forever!
Jackie & Mike