by HJ Lawson
Tilly has horrible nightmares. I always hug her when they start, and she quickly calms down. I don’t think she remembers her dreams in the morning, which is a good thing. She’s always happy. I find it hard to sleep; the nightmares are just too clear, too real.
I’ve learned to stick tissues in my ears to block out some of the sounds. But I don’t want to block everything out, in case the soldiers come.
Father taught me that, even in my sleep, I have to be ready for anything, at any time. I thank my father every night when I pray. If it wasn’t for him, I’d be dead by now. I also pray to God that he is safe, and that we’ll be reunited soon.
“Happy Birthday!”
One after another, the children in the kitchen chant to me. It’s nice to see everyone happy. It makes me feel special and reminds me of when I had birthday parties at home.
“Thank you,” I reply, a little embarrassed. I’m not very good at being the center of attention.
The rest of the day passes quietly. Some people wish me a happy birthday as I pass by them. Zak is off sleeping somewhere. I can’t stop thinking about our amazing date, and am counting the minutes until we can meet up again.
I already miss kissing him. He is the only thing that helps me forget, even for a moment, the nightmare we’re all living.
*****
The next morning, Zak gently shakes me awake. “Come on, sleepyhead, rise and shine.” He only needs to tell me once, and I’m up and ready to go. I grab my gun. Zak is still kneeling next to me, smiling at how quickly and quietly I am moving.
He stands and reaches his hand out to mine. I instantly take it. Happy to be back together, we follow the same route from yesterday. We head to the kitchen and grab a bag of supplies, and I add in a few extra things.
Zak lets go of my hand to check for the look-out. When he returns he takes it again and leads me outside. Dani nods at Zak and waves at me. I nod back. Last night I realized I need to take all of this much more seriously. We are at war. I could lose my life if I go back to being ‘innocent Jada.’
Instead of watching the sun rise, we move straight down to the woods to practice. I wonder when he’s going to kiss me next. I need to focus, but it keeps running through my mind. I wonder if he is thinking she same.
I guess he is, because as soon as I place the bag down and stand next to him to practice shooting, he takes my hand before I can reach for the gun. Pulling me in towards him, he kisses me firmly on the lips. This time it’s different, more intense, more passionate, as if he’s been waiting a lifetime to kiss me again.
He moves his other arm around my waist, placing it on my hip so I’m even closer to him. I feel like we are one. Time has frozen in a moment of joy I want to keep forever; I'm unwilling to let go.
Slowly, he peels his lips away, opening his eyes to gaze into mine. His hand reaches up and brushes my hair from my eyes. “I’ve been waiting all night for that kiss. I missed you.”
“I missed you, too,” I reply, a little bit embarrassed. I’ve never spoken to anyone like this before, but it just feels right. I try to re-focus, but when I look at him it’s hard! “So, I guess we don’t have much time to practice,” I quickly add.
“What, you think I need more practice? Is my kissing not up to your standards?” Zak laughs, and I jab him in the ribs. “Ouch, okay… okay… just joking. Let’s practice.”
“I brought some tins for targets.”
“Cool,” he replies.
The air raids haven’t started yet, so we decide to have breakfast. Outside the little house, Zak lays out a blanket, and we sit next to each other.
“Zak, when we were in the restaurant, you were about to tell me something. Mansur interrupted you. What were you going to say?” I’ve been waiting for the right time to ask him this question. For some reason, it seems important.
Zak takes in a deep breath.
“There is something about Mansur… it’s as if I know him already. He looks like someone I know, someone I have met. I’ve heard his voice before, before the day we met him… but it was different. Does that make any sense to you?”
I sit and think for a moment, taking a bite of my food.
“Perhaps… maybe it was someone from your school or your village?”
“But that’s the thing; I don’t think I’ve ever met him before, yet I know him,” Zak says, with a puzzled look on his face.
“Mmm, maybe you went to school with his brother? Or you had mutual friends?” I ask carefully, trying not to bring up any bad memories.
“I thought the same thing. Since we met him, I’ve been running it through my mind, and I can’t think of anyone I went to school with, or in my village, who reminds me of him. And there’s another thing…” Zak pauses.
“What? What’s the other thing?”
He takes a deep breath and looks directly at me. “Did you not notice that Mansur and Junayd the Keeper look alike? It’s almost like they’re brothers.”
I wasn’t expecting him to say that. I’ve only seen the Keeper one time, and it was only for a few moments. I barely remember what he looks like. Although I do know what Mansur looks like… almost too well!
“Mmm, I didn’t notice. Sorry, I cannot remember what he looks like.”
Zak glances down, disappointed.
“I’m sorry,” I repeat, feeling badly for not being more helpful. “I was just so excited about finding my father.”
“It’s okay. All we want is to be reunited with our fathers. Okay, I have another thing for you… Have you noticed how the teenagers all look the same? They have the same haircut, remember you noticed that?”
“Yeah… and they have the same expression on their faces, like glazed-over zombies. I thought it was a bit strange, but I figured it was because of all the horrible things they’ve seen. You know, like the looks on some of the little kids’ faces,” I reply.
Sometimes Zak gets the same expression I know I show when I have my flashbacks. But we usually shake ourselves out of it quickly, unlike the watchers and some of the younger children.
“Exactly! Is that not odd to you? Why do they all look the same?”
“I don’t know… I agree it’s a bit odd, but they’re not harming anyone. They’re just children, like us. I’m sorry; I don’t understand why you let this worry you.” I hope he doesn’t get cross with my reply.
Zak hesitates again, as if unsure whether to continue.
“But it’s like there’s something else going on, something we don’t know about,” he says, quieter. “This worries me. And what are they hiding from us?”
I choose my words carefully.
“Maybe they’re just busy planning the attack. Once we get our fathers back, they’ll know what to do.”
“Jada, what if our fathers aren’t there? They may have been taken somewhere else. And then what?”
He’s right. How stupid of me. I never thought that they may not actually be there. My whole world is crumbling again around me.
Silently, we sit on the blanket. Zak is eating, but I’m no longer hungry. I feel sick at the thought of Father not being there. I have to be strong. My father and mother taught me to be.
“If he is not there, I’m going to the airport,” I say, breaking the silence.
“Why do you want to go there? Why not tent town?”
“Because my mother left me a key, and it has the airport’s address on it.”
“What does the key open?”
“I don’t know, but I guess… No, I know it’s important. Would you come with me?” Please, I add silently.
Zak takes my hand.
“Jada, I would go to the ends of the earth with you, but I am not alone. I have Tilly. I have to look after her and get her to tent town, get her to safety. It’s killing me, knowing that she’s here and in danger every day. I’m sorry, Jada, but could you wait?”
“What can we do?”
“We can take her to tent town first. I can leave her with Sahar. She’ll look after her, an
d then we can get to the airport and find out what the key opens.” He smiles and so do I.
“Great idea. So we go with the Keeper and his group, and pray that our fathers are there. If they’re not, we leave before we turn into zombies, take Tilly to Sahar, and find out what the key opens.”
Zak nods. “Sounds like a plan to me. Why do you think they’re taking so long to rescue our fathers?
I shrug. “I guess it’s because they’re waiting for the soldiers to leave. The plan won’t work if there are too many
of them there. There are only a few of us. Do you know if the watchers and the new children can use a gun?”
“Yes, there are a few. And the zombies can. You can tell by the way they carry the guns. They said that the other boys and I will get weapons for the attack, but they’re still searching for them, which to me sounds weird. They haven’t even asked us if we can fire a gun. How can we be any good if we’ve never used one? Some of the other children are worried as well.”
He is right -- that does sound a little bit strange. Why would they go attack a prison without knowing if we actually knew how to fight and defend ourselves? Maybe they’re just assuming everyone can since they made it this far. They must have some skills. That does make sense, in my head at least.
Suddenly the air attack begins, breaking our conversation. “Come on, Zak, let’s go train. We don’t have much time.”
As I teach Zak, I start to think maybe he’s just being paranoid. All the boys want to do is rescue their fathers. Okay, so they act a bit strange, but I would too, if I knew soon I’d be breaking into a guarded prison with a bunch of children.
We should just be grateful they’re going to try to get them out, and that all this time they’ve been keeping us safe.
Every few hours, new children arrive at the church; they are welcomed just like we were, and given jobs and a safe place to sleep. For a lot of us, this is the first time we’ve slept safely since our parents were taken. Zak has it wrong; he’s making me angry, all they’re trying to do is help us.
The air raids go quickly; this round is over faster than yesterday's. Zak and I look at each other. “Do you think they are moving away?” I ask. “They’ve been attacking these areas for a long time. There can’t be much left.”
Zak nods. “This means the rescue will take place any time now!”
“I think you’re right… that it will happen soon. Don’t hate me, but I think you might be getting a bit paranoid about the older boys. Maybe they just assume that if we've made it this far, we know how to protect ourselves. And they may just be acting like zombies because they’ve seen too much. I think they’re going to help us.”
He hands me the gun and twists his face into an angry scowl. “I’m not paranoid! How dare you!”
“There’s no need to yell at me!”
“Are you one of them?”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I’ve seen the way Mansur looks at you!”
I shake my head and narrow my eyes. “You made up all this rubbish because you’re jealous?”
“No, I’m not jealous. And it’s not rubbish, you stupid kid!” Zak barks at me.
I stare at him with my jaw open. How dare he call me a stupid kid!
“I’m done with this!” he yells and sprints off, leaving me alone in the woods.
“You jerk! Go on, run off, you fucking baby!” I shout at his retreating form. I’ve never been this angry before. I want to explode!
“I’ll be fine on my own,” I mutter to myself a few moments later, kicking at the dirt.
No, I won’t.
Tears begin to roll down my face. How can I go from being so happy to feeling like this? I can’t believe he said those things and left me like that.
I wipe the tears away from my cheeks. I cannot cry over a stupid boy!
Chapter 40
Tent Town.
HAYTHAM
“When we got to the border, the younger children were terrified. For days, we’d been running from soldiers, and today we were driving straight toward them,” I tell Laura. But she doesn’t need to know I was scared too!
“What happened next, Haytham?” she asks.
“The soldiers directed our truck inside the camp. I could just see the wire fence with guards lined up against it,” I inform her.
“Then what happened?”
“We had to get out of the truck.”
“How did you feel?”
Great, is she trying to make me cry?
“I felt relieved and sad,” I say with a deep breath. “I got my family to safety, but I had to leave people behind, the people who helped save us.”
I hold my camera firmly, staring down at it.
“Haytham, do you have a photo of the people who helped you?”
I nod. “Yes. I have several.” I turn my camera on and hold it so I can see the images, skipping through a few photos of the war to the good ones.
“This is my new baby sister, Jada. My mother named her after the girl who saved us.”
“How old are they, the kids who helped save you?”
“Jada was fourteen. She turned fifteen this week. Zak is sixteen. They were the oldest children in the gang.”
“Do you have any more photos of Jada and Zak?” Laura asks.
I scroll through the photos for another moment, then pause and feel a smile cross my face.
“This is Jada the day she arrived. She was only with us for one night. She’d been through a lot, just like the rest of us.” I pass the camera to Laura.
“How do I zoom in closer?” she asks me, and I lean over and show her.
Laura takes a picture from her pocket, and starts glancing back and forth between the camera and the photo.
What’s she staring at? I step forward for a better view and gasp.
“Why do you have a photo of Jada?” I ask.
“People are looking for her,” Laura replies with an astonished expression on her face. She hands me back the camera. “Haytham, where were they heading?”
“Here.”
“How far away were they?”
“I thought about two days' walk, but it’s been longer. Maybe they went the wrong way, or…” My voice fades, as I can’t say the fears that fill my mind.
“Haytham, try not to worry. We will find them.”
Chapter 41
Reunited with Our Fathers.
JADA
I walk into the church in a daze, still angry and upset and confused. Why are guys such jerks?
“OUCH!” a young boy runs into me and falls back onto his bottom. He looks at me in surprise, then jumps up and carries on as if nothing happened. I glance around the room and notice that everyone is hurrying around, excited. They’re all heading in the same direction – to the far corner of the church.
What’s going on?
Hurrying over to the spot where my backpack is hidden, I quickly grab it and follow the direction of the crowd. I catch myself automatically scanning around for Zak, and then I scold myself. I’m not talking to him, and I don’t need him! I don’t care where he is!
Instead, I start looking around, hoping to find Mansur or someone from 3F.
“Jada, we’re over here,” I hear Tilly calling. I see her off to the side holding hands with Zak, and she waves.
I have no choice but to go over there. Zak just looks at me and shrugs his shoulder.
Whatever…
“Hi, Tilly, what’s going on?” I focus on her and try to ignore Zak, but he nudges his head toward the front of the crowd.
I turn around for a better look and see the watchers standing at the front; it looks like they are getting everyone ready for the Keeper to come out.
I look back at Zak with wide eyes, and he smiles at me. We know what this means… it’s time to rescue our fathers!
My shoulders relax, and as much as I hate to admit it, it makes me happy that Zak smiled at me. I really don’t want to fight with him, and at least I won�
��t be on my own now.
The Keeper’s office door opens, and the room falls silent. He walks out with the watchers on either side of him, almost like they’re his bodyguards. He shows no emotion on his face as he moves to the front of the crowd.
“Today we will be reunited with our fathers!” the Keeper announces with power and passion. Crazy cheers bellow around the church, echoing off the walls. “Today is our day to stand together! Who is with me?”
Cheers of “I am, I am,” fill the room. One after another, the children yell out. The energy is contagious, and soon I join in the chant.
“I’m in!” I yell. Tilly looks up at me and smiles. Zak looks across at me. He is not chanting. His mouth is open in what appears to be shock from the scene around him. The Keeper waves his hands downwards to indicate silence.
“The smaller children will stay here with the watchers looking over them to keep them safe. A war zone is no place for the young ones,” he explains, and the watchers nod.
Zak will not like that. He hates leaving Tilly with them.
“As for everyone else, the watchers at the prison have informed me that there are very few guards left. Everyone has gone north. These two here will pretend that they have captured me and get the guards to open the prison doors. Once in, we’ll begin the attack from the inside, and then you will all follow. We have weapons for everyone. We have them hidden on the route to the prison.”
The room is silent -- the Keeper is a powerful speaker. “Gather what you need,” he continues. “We will be traveling to Mezzeh Prison at ten o’clock.”
With that, he turns and leaves the room. His final words elicit cheers of excitement from the younger children, happy they will be reunited with their fathers shortly. The enthusiasm is contagious, and I feel a smile appearing on my face.
I look over at Zak and Tilly. They are in the midst of a heated conversation.
“Will you tell him? He won’t listen to me. I’ll be fine here with the watchers,” Tilly says to me.