Maybe her roommates had been uttering the prayer that was currently being answered. She sure hadn’t been. A pang of remorse angled through her. She didn’t even like herself anymore.
Chapter 20
“Thanks for coming with me, son.” Zach’s mother smiled at him as he opened the car door for her in the church parking lot.
He was here under false pretenses. She thought he’d offered to come this morning because God was working in his life. Well, who knew? She might be right. But the real truth was that he hadn’t seen Jo for way too long. He’d been by the nursing home twice last week and hadn’t seen her at all. He couldn’t muster the courage to go over to the trailer—or the new house site—and talk to her there. He’d tried, but his feet wouldn’t take him even though Domino would be more than willing.
He’d parked beside the VW Golf. If Mom noticed, she didn’t say anything. Hey, it was the first empty stall. Zach took a deep breath and tugged his sweater hem straight. He’d even worn dress pants.
“Nemesek!” Gabe’s voice boomed across the lot.
“Hey, man.” Mom might be fooled as to why Zach had come to church, but Gabe wouldn’t be.
Gabe clapped him on the back. “Good to see you. Want to sit with me and Bethany?”
“Maybe.” Why not? His mother had her own routine, her own preferred pew, anyway.
Gabe held the church door for all of them. Zach shot a quick glance around the foyer. Jo! He forced his gaze on past, but Gabe’s elbow had already connected with Zach’s ribs. “Yeah, she’s here.”
Zach focused on his friend. “So how you doing, man?”
A grin played around Gabe’s mouth as he reached behind him and pulled Bethany around. “Pretty decent, all things considered.”
Zach gave Bethany a quick side-hug. “Hey, you. How’s the kiddo?”
“Growing. All is well.” She spread her hands across her belly, revealing her increased bulge.
Gabe slid his arm around his wife and looked down at her, eyes alight with pride. “The twelve-hour shifts are proving nasty, though. Ankles swollen and all.”
“Oh, you.” She shrugged his arm away. “I’ll be fine. It’s way too early to take maternity leave.” Bethany looked up at Zach and batted her eyelashes. “He’s just complaining because all I want to do when I’m home is sit around with my feet up, so he’s doing the cooking and cleaning.”
Her lips still moved but the sound faded away as Jo turned. Sierra caught sight of Zach and grinned, fluttering her fingers. But Jo’s gaze locked onto his with all the force of an electrical surge. He took an involuntary step forward.
“We lost him,” Gabe said with a laugh, but Zach didn’t turn back.
Jo linked arms with Sierra and Claire, all but pulling her friends into the sanctuary. Protecting herself.
Zach could chase her down, but he’d look a fool. That nearly didn’t stop him. After church. He’d talk to her then. Patience was a virtue.
**
Whatever Pastor Ron said during his sermon was lost on Jo. Her mind was imprinted with Zach’s face and the expression when their eyes had locked. Desperation. Regret. Something else she didn’t want to see or acknowledge. If her heart were to heal, she’d need to keep away from him, but that might be difficult until he returned to the city.
Like now after church. He’d looked determined to speak with her, but she couldn’t locate him to avoid him. Leaving the sanctuary was slow going as everyone felt the need to shake hands with the pastor. It seemed rude to dodge between folks and escape. Besides, her friends seemed content to poke through line.
“You should see what these girls are doing out at the farm.” Mr. Graysen’s voice boomed across the foyer, diverting Jo’s attention. “That’s quite a house they have going up. The walls are made of straw bales.”
She strained to see whom he was talking to, but all she could make out was the back of an older man’s head. He was shorter than Mr. Graysen.
“And when the big bad wolf comes along, it’ll blow down.” The man snorted. “That’s not a civilized way to build a house.”
“Mr. Leask?” Sierra whispered from beside Jo’s elbow.
“I think so. He never has anything good to say about anyone.”
She laughed, but without humor. “Especially not one of us. He’s like our archenemy with that feedlot of his.”
Jo felt Zach behind her. Might not have been true, but her pulse always seemed to know which direction he was, like a compass pointed north.
“Hey, girl! How’s the arm?” Bethany hurried over to the girls, dragging Gabe by the hand.
“Getting better.” Jo hoped. Couple weeks down, another month to go. “How are seed sales, Gabe?”
His face brightened and he glanced at Sierra. “Pretty good. Thanks for phoning around, Sierra.”
News to Jo. She looked at her friend, eyebrow quirked.
Sierra shrugged. “I called the list of people signed up for the harvest dinner and reminded them Nature’s Pantry now carried organic seed.”
Gabe grinned. “And they told their neighbors. I mean, that component will never haul my business into the black, but I’ve sold enough to justify the experiment.”
“That’s great.”
Bethany looked past Jo. “Hi, Zach.”
Jo’s heart hiccupped, but she didn’t turn.
“Good morning, Bethany, Gabe.” Zach sounded so serious.
Jo focused on feeling his presence behind her. No turning around. No acknowledging his existence.
“Coming for lunch, man?” Gabe’s gaze passed Jo to Zach.
“Yep. Just as soon as I take Mom home.”
If she and Zach hadn’t had the hamburger fight, would Jo have been included in an invitation like that? Well, the argument had occurred.
Zach hadn’t shown any interest in dedicating himself to a sustainable lifestyle like she and her roommates had done. Which was why she wasn’t going to see him anymore. No kissing, no hormonal surges, nothing like that.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and then realized she couldn’t feel Zach behind her any longer even though she hadn’t heard him walk away.
Sure enough, a few seconds later she caught sight of him over by the foyer door, talking to Rosemary and Mr. Graysen. Being this in tune with his whereabouts irked her no end.
**
Zach wasn’t leaving this spot by the outside door until he’d talked to Jo. No way, no how. His mother and Mr. Graysen had meandered out to the parking lot, still chatting, but Mom would be ready to go home soon. She’d have to wait.
Jo and her friends still stood with Gabe and Bethany, talking and laughing. Until Jo glanced up and saw Zach. The flush on her face deepened, and she said something to Sierra, who looked over at Zach and nodded. Whatever all that was about.
Then she edged her way across the foyer, eyes averted. A kid dodged out the door just in front of her and she jerked back, dropping her Bible.
Zach sprang in front of her and caught it before it hit the concrete steps. He held it out to her.
Her wide brown eyes stared up at him, blurred with a little moistness. “Thanks.” She clutched the leather book to her chest.
It was all Zach could do not to slide his hands around her back and pull her close, but maybe not with the way her jaw set. Not with the memory of that thwack on the cheek a few weeks back. Not with the memory of the quarrel he’d never been able to explain to his grandmother. His mouth turned dry and his pulse hammered. “Jo? How are you?”
Her eyes narrowed slightly, and a tear squeezed out and began the descent of her right cheek.
He watched it slither down, wanting to wipe it away. “Why tears, Jo?” he asked softly. “Does your arm hurt?”
“I-I’m fine.”
But she didn’t sound it, not with her voice cracking.
Zach’s feet remained rooted to the foyer floor. “I’m sorry I made you angry. Can you forgive me? Can we try again?”
Jo shifted, biting her li
p and breaking contact with his eyes.
He forced his hands to drop to his sides.
“Try what again?” she whispered, peering at him through lowered lashes.
Caution flew to the wind. “Try us again. I know we have some differences, but can we attempt to work things out?” His heart hammered louder than the truck someone revved in the parking lot.
She hesitated, closing her eyes. After eternity had swung by for the second time, she took a deep breath and met his gaze. “I don’t think so, Zach. There’s no point.”
Zach’s balance wavered. A swarm of bees seemed to encircle his head. “But—”
“The things that are vital to me aren’t to you. Some things can be compromised on.” She hesitated. “And some can’t. I’m sorry.”
He stared into her eyes, aware that other tears followed the first on its journey down her cheek. His gut twisted into a pretzel. “Deny we share an attraction,” he ground out.
Jo swallowed hard and looked away.
“Deny it.” Gentler this time.
“I-I can’t.”
Hope soared. “Then why? Look, I get that I keep messing up, but I can’t quite figure out why.” So he’d probably do the same again, all unknowing. “Explain it to me. Teach me. I have a high IQ. I can learn.”
She wavered on her feet. Maybe in her resolve? “Zach, our lives aren’t going the same direction. I’m rooting into the land at Green Acres. You want nothing to do with the farm.”
Didn’t he? Did he? The bees swarmed again. Maybe if one of them stung him he’d wake up from this quiet nightmare.
“I can’t go back to the city, even if you ask—” Her hand clapped over her mouth and her eyes grew huge. She elbowed past him and down the steps.
“Jo, wait!” Zach jumped, landing in front of her. “I’m not talking forever. Not yet. Can’t we take things one step at a time? See where it leads?”
Her head jerked back as she stared up at him. “That’s another place we’re different, Zach. I will never date a man I couldn’t see marrying. Why put myself through that? Why build up false hope?”
“But—” What could he say? That he’d stay in Galena Landing? That he’d give up his own dreams? That she was worth everything to him? He didn’t know. Couldn’t know. Not yet.
Chapter 21
“All hands on deck!” hollered Jo.
The deep rumble from down the road manifested itself into a semi-truck loaded with trusses.
Jo stood back as everyone else swarmed out the door, pulling on work gloves. She’d give nearly anything to be taking her place atop the bale walls, helping fasten down the trusses. Instead, she plunked down on the landing. In an hour someone would have to take a break to drive her to the nursing home.
Behind the heavily loaded semi were several pickup trucks, led by Mr. Graysen. Men in overalls piled out, and Jo’s roommates let out a whoop and a cheer. Tears flooded Jo’s eyes as she counted out half a dozen men she’d seen at church. This was what Jesus wanted his followers to be like.
Her mind slid to Zach and she tried yet again to convince herself he wasn’t her kind of guy. After all, he wasn’t here, was he? No. Of course, he wasn’t retired like the men Mr. Riehl and Mr. Graysen currently organized into teams. Small detail.
Zach wanted to leave the valley. Jo wasn’t going anywhere ever again, except possibly on vacation. This was totally home, or would be once the roof was on, the walls plastered, the cupboards installed, and…okay, the house itself wouldn’t be home for a while, but that didn’t change anything. Here Jo’s heart was at rest.
Or would have been if Zach had never entered it.
Rosemary hiked up the driveway, Domino leashed at her side. She shielded her eyes from the morning sun for a moment, then noticed Jo sitting on the stoop and made her way over. “I heard all the hullabaloo and had to see what was going on.” She leaned against the trailer steps next to Jo, and Domino took a quick slurp at Jo’s hand.
Jo leaned over to rub the pup’s ears. “Big day here today.”
“So I see.” Rosemary gave Jo an appraising look. “And I’m guessing you’re chafing at the bit because you can’t be in the thick of things.”
Jo blew out a long breath. “Ooh, yeah.”
“You need a hobby, girl.”
Jo shrugged and slid down to stand beside Rosemary. “No time for one.”
The crane lifted the first truss onto the walls, where several of the crew set about securing it in place.
The pup leaned hard against Jo’s leg. She’d have toppled over if the side of the steps hadn’t braced her body against his weight. He’d been putting on size. “Rosemary, what do you charge for pups like Domino? We’re hoping to run some stock starting next year, but either way, a dog is such good company.”
Rosemary looked from Jo to Domino and back again thoughtfully. “I don’t know that we’re going to raise any more. Sadie’s getting on. I used to run a decent business breeding and training Border collies, but I’d already been getting out of it when Steve got sick. Now…” Her voice drifted away.
Jo’s gut sank. Too late. And Rosemary would never part with Domino. He was her dog, even though Jo saw him most often with Zach, or running wild and free on his frequent visits to Green Acres. These days he’d duck under the fence and streak back across the field when he heard Zach or Rosemary whistle for him. Jo guessed she’d have to make do.
A shout rang out from up on the walls, indicating time for another truss.
Jo wrenched her gaze back to Rosemary. “How’s Steve doing?” Sure, she cared about Steve and Rosemary, but she’d have been lying if the question didn’t really mean, ‘how long will Zach be in the valley?’
Rosemary grimaced. “Good and bad. He’s getting around some with a walker now. He finds the physical therapy very painful but he’s trying to push past it.”
“So he’s still improving?”
She shook her head. “Not as quickly as we’d like. His age is against him, as is the fact that he’d had the flu not long before. They say twenty percent don’t fully recover.”
“But eighty percent do.” Seemed Jo had to be the optimist here.
Rosemary’s gaze met hers through a veil of tears. “Someone has to be in that twenty, Jo. Looks like my husband may be one of them.”
“But God can heal him. We just need more faith.”
Her neighbor slid her arm around Jo’s shoulders and tugged her close. “Yes, God could choose to heal Steve. It’s true. But what if He doesn’t? It doesn’t mean our faith is too weak. We still live here in a world full of sin.” She swallowed hard. “Everyone is going to die, Jo. I’m just thankful that now isn’t Steve’s time.”
“Me, too,” Jo whispered.
“You’re a bit like me, always trying to see how you can fix things.”
Shouts rang out from the building site across the yard, and Domino whined.
Jo shook her head. “Not to try seems like it’s giving in to the status quo.”
“True enough.” Rosemary sighed and released Jo. “But sometimes—sometimes we must remember that God is in control. We do our bit, but ultimately, it’s up to Him how things turn out. In fact, he’s perfectly capable of doing His work without our help. Even yours.”
Um, yeah. She agreed with that in theory. In reality, it seemed God often needed a helping hand. Would this planet be in such an environmental mess if God took control? Obviously not.
“I’ve got advice for you.”
Jo raised her eyebrows and looked at Rosemary.
“The fate of the entire world isn’t on your young shoulders. Relax a bit, and let God be God.”
**
Zach leaned on the Watermans’ rail fence, watching the calves thunder down the pasture, tails high like little flags, while their mothers placidly chewed their cud. “They’re looking good.”
Gary Waterman nodded. “Yep. Thanks for the help that day.” He pulled off his baseball cap and scratched his head. “Thinking of putting the fa
rm up for sale. You hear of anyone looking to buy, let me know.”
“You?” Zach tried to process the information. “You’ve been farming here forever. Wasn’t this your dad’s place?”
“Yep. I still wanna farm. Gets in a guy’s blood, you know?”
Best ignore that part. “So, why sell?”
Gary’s chin jutted to the feedlot next door. “Them. Just not natural, what Leask is doing. Since they moved in there five years ago, my herd has been sick more than ever before. There’s all the bawling from them calves being cramped up over there, plus it stinks. Farms don’t have to smell so bad, day in, day out.” Gary glanced at Zach. “Well, you’d know that. Your dad runs a clean spread. Wasn’t his fault he had to work for Leask. There’s not much money in farming these days. Leastways not the way we’ve always done it. Emma and me, we’re thinking on options.”
“I see. So you’re looking for other farmland?” Maybe his folks would sell out to a guy like Gary. Good folks, the Watermans. Sounded like a win-win to Zach.
The farmer sighed. “If I get a bite on this place, I’ll start looking around. Your folks have a great spot. Someone is sure to snap it up faster than mine, what with the feedlot next door here. Might take me years to get out.”
He had a point. There was a stark difference between the calves on Watermans’ side of the fence versus Leasks’. Zach pulled away from the rails. “I’ll pass your name along if I hear anything.”
“Thanks.” Gary reached out and shook Zach’s hand. “It’s good to have you back in the valley, boy. I hope you’ll give good thought to taking over your dad’s place. We need more young farmers around here.”
Zach grimaced. “I’m not so keen on the idea, myself. I didn’t spend eight years in college so I could muck stalls, no offense meant.”
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