“I-I’m not ready, Gabe. I just need a little time.” Her gaze lifted somewhere in the neighborhood of his chest then flicked to his eyes and away. “Please,” she whispered.
His hands, his arms, indeed, his whole body yearned toward her. To hold her, more gently this time, and tell her it was all right. But was it?
“I’m going now.” His voice sounded scratchy, even to himself. He cleared his throat. “But that doesn’t change how I feel about you. I believe God has brought us together.” He saw that with blinding clarity.
She backed up another step. A tear trickled down her cheek. Why wouldn’t she let him wipe it away?
“I love you, Sierra.” And he slipped out into the frigid November night with little to keep him warm.
Chapter 23
“Jo sent me in for some groceries,” Zach announced from the doorway of Nature’s Pantry.
“Nemesek!” Gabe crossed the space to fist bump his buddy.
“Rubachuk!”
“Now that we’ve got that out of the way, did she send a list?”
Zach pulled out his phone and opened a shopping app. He shook his head and held it out to Gabe with a little grin.
Gabe burst out laughing. “This looks like pregnancy cravings to me.”
“Oh yeah.” Zach sighed. “With Maddie she just tamped them down, but this time, she doesn’t care who knows she needs salt and vinegar potato chips. She’s a desperate woman.”
“No pickles? That’s what Bethany craved.” Gabe swallowed the twinge the memory gave him as he handed Zach a grocery basket.
“Nah, she and the girls canned dozens of jars in August. Jo’s definitely going through more than our share at the moment, but I think stock will hold out. It’s the chips she’s frantic for.” Zach rolled his eyes. “Never saw that one coming.”
Gabe chuckled. “Well, you came to the right place. We have organic ones and a couple of other kinds with all natural ingredients. Do you know what brand she prefers?” He led the way to the junk food aisle. “I don’t remember if she sampled any the day we painted upstairs.”
“She didn’t. I doubt she’s eaten potato chips in ten years. I’m surprised she can remember what salt and vinegar even taste like.” Zach perused the rack and picked two different bags. “Let’s try those. Next we need a bag of frozen burritos. Seems like I remember you had those here.”
“Yeah, I do, but why doesn’t she make her own and freeze them? I shouldn’t be talking myself out of a sale, but buying them seems totally out of character for Jo.”
“Trust me, she plans on doing just that as soon as she isn’t so tired. Maddie saps about all the energy Jo can muster.” He leaned closer to Gabe. “I’ll tell you how exhausted she is. She’s this close to using disposable diapers on Maddie, but Claire and I got the cloth ones washed and put away yesterday, so I think we’re good for a bit.”
“Whoa. Jo using disposables?” Things at the Nemeseks were worse than Gabe had imagined.
“It was a close call.” Zach opened the freezer case and grabbed a package of burritos with a four-chili grade.
“She likes heat? Those would scorch my throat all the way down and set off an inferno once they got to the bottom.”
“She specifically said the hotter the better. Who am I to argue?”
Gabe held up both hands in surrender. “I get it. No problem.”
“Now it’s just a few candy bars.” Zach peered at his list. “I’m surprised she didn’t make me go to Wynnton for all this. I mean, she can’t have wanted word to get out of all the junk she wants to eat.”
Gabe laughed. “Probably more like she couldn’t wait the couple of extra hours for the return trip. Or justify the fuel expenditure.”
“Good point.” Zach slid three bars into the basket. “That should do for now.”
“At least for a day or two.” Back behind the counter, Gabe rang up the order.
“So, how are things going with Sierra since your hot date last week?”
Surely his buddy would notice the hesitation. But wasn’t this what friends were for? “I don’t know,” Gabe said slowly. “Something seems to be upsetting her, but I don’t know what it is. She doesn’t want to talk about it.”
“Uh oh.” Zach pushed the bag of food to one side and leaned forward on the counter. “That doesn’t sound good.”
“Has she seemed quiet to you? Has Jo said anything? I’ve gone over and over what we talked about and I just can’t see where I went wrong.” Except for those few moments in the mall. But everything had seemed fine after that.
“I can’t say I’ve noticed. But then I have enough trouble figuring out what makes Jo tick half the time. And pregnancy changes everything.”
“Yeah.” Well, Sierra wasn’t pregnant, so that couldn’t be the problem. But other hormonal issues? Maybe. “She’s telling me she needs more time.”
Zach’s eyes twinkled. “Ah, so you have talked about serious matters then. It’s not just my imagination what direction things were going.”
“Were going. That’s the operative word.” Might as well give Zach all the details. He hadn’t been able to figure things out on his own, so maybe an impartial set of ears would help. “When I got back home, you know I wasn’t ready for a relationship, but I got the feeling early on that Sierra was interested. Maybe it was my imagination, but I don’t think so.”
“Yeah, I don’t think you were making it up. She didn’t seem pushy to me, but Jo and I both definitely noticed.”
“Okay, that helps.” Gabe nodded. “I’d planned to sell the store and move away, but she challenged me to face the past and give myself six months before I made a final decision.”
Zach let out a low whistle. “It never occurred to me you might sell out. I guess it should have.”
“At first I didn’t intend to accept her challenge but, as a bit of time went on, I saw how much having my friends and hometown around me was good, even though it hurt. And I began to see something in Sierra, too.”
“The weekend we painted your apartment?” Zach winked.
“That might’ve been the start. I’m not sure. But no sooner did we seem to come to an agreement than she started pulling away again.” Gabe frowned. “That weekend her sister was here started it. I wonder if Chelsea doesn’t like me for some reason?”
“I think you’re reading too much into it.”
Gabe thought back to dancing with Sierra in his arms, to kissing her a few days later, then to her perplexing rejection of him last night. “I don’t think so.” He shook his head slowly. “It doesn’t make sense. We were past that stage.”
“Hmm.”
Gabe spread his hands wide. “I don’t have that much experience with women. All I cared about since I was a kid was making Bethany happy. I don’t know how other women think.”
“They’re not all alike. Take it from a guy with three sisters and a bad relationship before Jo. But you have to trust your instincts. If they’re telling you something is wrong, you have to figure it out. Just up and ask her, maybe?”
“I tried. She said it was nothing, but she didn’t look me in the eye while saying it.”
“Oh man. I hate those words. They don’t give a guy much to go on.”
“Yeah.” Had he really expected Zach to be able to help? Not really. Still, it felt better to get it off his chest a bit. “Well, thanks. Tell Jo I hope this hits the spot.” He nudged the bag toward his buddy.
“I will. And I’ll ask her if she’s talked to Sierra lately. Either way, praying for you.”
And to think being in Galena Landing, away from his supportive friends, had seemed attractive.
* * *
Sierra tasted the mega-batch of soup she and Claire had been working on all morning. “More oregano definitely helped. What do you think?”
Claire ran her tongue over her lips, her head tilted to one side. “Still missing something. I’m not sure I want twenty quarts of this in the larder.”
“Good point.” Sierra
tightened the elastic holding her hair back and scrolled down the recipe they’d been using as a foundation. “How about a dab of honey?”
“Not everything needs to be sweetened with honey.” Claire bumped her shoulder against Sierra’s. “Especially not a savory soup.”
“You’d be surprised.” Sierra reached for her old recipe box on the back corner of the peninsula then flipped through it. “My grandmother put a pinch of sugar into nearly everything.”
“Hmm. Not sure I can be convinced that would improve things.”
Sierra pulled out several cards. “See here? Tomato-based recipes, like this soup. Take out a cup or so and add a teeny bit. Besides, it’s nearly lunch time and I want more than a spoonful of taste test every half hour.”
“Good point.”
A thud and a shriek pulled Sierra’s attention to the door just as Jo walked in, Maddie careening around her.
“Clay! Sera!”
Sierra knelt to capture the tyke in a quick hug before Maddie charged off for the toy box in the great room, Domino romping behind her.
“Hiya, Jo.” She gave her friend the once-over. “You look terrible, if you don’t mind my saying so.”
Jo grimaced. “I suspected as much. Maybe because I feel terrible. Think there might be a correlation?”
“It’s possible. Have you eaten today?”
“I managed to keep breakfast down, if that’s what you’re asking.”
And Sierra wanted to have kids? Wanted to experience pregnancy? Maybe she should be thankful it didn’t look like an option. Her heart clenched. Except for Gabe. And, well, yes, motherhood was something she’d always desired.
Claire turned from the stove with two bowls. “Want to do a taste test for us? We’re trying to finalize the seasoning in this soup before we start canning.”
Jo eyed the bowls uncertainly. “Sure. What kind?”
“A beef-based tomato soup.” Sierra turned her back on Jo to hide the addition of honey.
“Smells good. Is this what’s for lunch? I was hoping there might be food over here.”
“If it doesn’t hit the spot for you, I’m sure we can find something else.” Sierra set both bowls on the peninsula and indicated Jo should have a seat. “Is Maddie hungry? I can get a bowl with less broth for her.”
“She might be. Thanks.”
Sierra high-graded bits of meat, potatoes, and vegetables into one of Maddie’s metal bowls. The child couldn’t be trusted with regular dishes. “Hey, kiddo, want some soup?” She peered around the corner.
“Soup?” Maddie clambered into her high chair. “Tanku.”
Sierra pulled Maddie’s t-shirt off and buckled the tot in before setting the bowl on the tray in front of her. “Do you want help, or do you want to do it by yourself?”
“Self.” Maddie nodded enthusiastically and dug her spoon in.
“Which do you prefer?” Claire asked Jo. “Can you taste a difference?”
Jo took a teensy bite from each bowl again before pushing the one on the right across the counter toward Claire. She encircled the other with her hand. “I’ll keep this one. Though it could use a shot of hot pepper or Tabasco sauce, I think.”
The chagrined look on Claire’s face told Sierra Jo had preferred the dribble of honey. She grinned. “So, we’re sweetening the whole batch with honey, then?”
Jo’s spoon stopped halfway to her mouth. “Is that the difference? Now that you mention it, I can taste it. Very subtle though. But seriously, add some zing.”
“You want heat in everything right now. Not sure the rest of us are up for your standards.” Claire reached for a jar of hot pepper flakes and slid it to Jo. “Try it out before I start dumping them into the big pot.”
Jo tilted the shaker and dumped a good dose into her bowl. She gave it a stir before tasting. “Kazam. That is a winner.”
“Zam,” echoed Maddie. Chunks of tomato already littered her tray.
“Is that good, Maddie?” asked Claire.
“Good.” Maddie nodded so enthusiastically Sierra feared for her neck.
Claire added a dollop of honey to the over-sized stockpot and stirred it in before giving another taste. “I hate to admit it, but this does bring out the flavors a bit more.”
“Ha! Told you so.” Sierra smiled smugly. “But the pepper flakes will offset it perfectly. Nice call, Jo. Good thing we dried so many of them a few weeks ago.” She rummaged in the corner cupboard for a large jar.
“Trust Sierra to think of putting honey in the soup.” Jo chuckled as she twisted her spoon around.
“You haven’t eaten more than three bites.” Claire’s hands found her hips. “How do you hope to grow that baby? On love and air?”
“I’ll have a bit more, I promise. It doesn’t help the kiddo any if I throw it up the minute it hits my stomach, either.”
“True. Sorry this is being such a rough pregnancy.”
A few weeks ago Sierra wished she were part of the camaraderie her friends shared. Now she only wanted them to talk about something else. Anything else.
“Hey, Sierra, how are things going with Gabe?” Jo looked up from her bowl.
They could go back to discussing Jo’s pregnancy, after all. How could Sierra possibly answer without giving away too much? “Not sure.” Okay, that was a bald-faced lie. “We have some issues to work out.”
By the expressions on her friends’ faces, that had sounded as lame to them as it did to her.
“Issues?” Claire asked. “What kinds of issues?”
“Just… stuff. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure things will become clear in the end.” Guess that depended on one’s definition of clear.
“After all the interfering you did when Noel and I were sorting things out? And now you won’t confide in us?”
“Yeah.” Jo pointed her spoon at Sierra. “You didn’t exactly allow me any peace early in Zach’s and my relationship, either.”
“That was different.”
Claire raised her eyebrows. “How so?”
“I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”
Jo shook her head. “Do you remember when I blocked out everything you said because I’d decided you were trying to steal Zach out from under my nose?”
“That was different.”
“Yeah, it was different all right. You can be quite certain neither Claire nor I have any designs on Gabe. We’re happily married and all that.”
Claire leaned back on the counter and crossed her arms. “And I know the problem isn’t Gabe’s lack of faith. We’ve had enough visits around the Sunday dinner table to know his walk with God is genuine.”
Sierra couldn’t think of a reply. “Look, I really don’t want to talk about it, okay? Maybe later, but not right now.”
Maddie shrieked from behind Jo and threw her bowl. It bounced a few times, probably gaining a new dent or two in the process. Domino sniffed the remains and picked out the beef, leaving the vegetables on the floor for someone else to clean up.
Claire waved Jo back to the counter stool before she could slide off. “I’ve got it.” She dampened a washcloth and headed for Maddie. As she passed Sierra, she glowered. “Don’t think this is over. It isn’t.”
Inexplicably, those words made Sierra feel better. “I’ll be honest. We could use some prayers for God’s wisdom.”
“Consider it done.” Jo’s eyes met hers for a long moment before turning to scoop up Maddie.
She’d left most of the soup in her bowl.
Chapter 24
What would Sierra do without her sister?
Chelsea rose as the gurney returned Sierra to the outpatient area. “You okay?” Chelsea glanced between Sierra and the nurse.
Not that the nurse would tell them anything. She wouldn’t even leak any opinions to Sierra as to what the biopsy had looked like. Maybe she didn’t know.
“She’ll be just fine,” the nurse said cheerfully, wheeling her into another one of those curtained off compartments.
Sierra
bet she hadn’t seen the last of those spaces. Why did hospitals insist on blue curtains? They weren’t soothing. They were depressing.
“Sis?” Chelsea loomed over the stretcher, forehead furrowed with a frown.
Sierra turned toward the nurse. “Can I get another painkiller?” She couldn’t believe she was asking for chemical sludge, but man, she needed something. Just the thought of that little corkscrew scraping around inside her uterus made her want to pass out all over again.
“I’ll find you something.” The nurse whisked out of the cubicle.
“That bad, huh?” Chelsea’s voice oozed sympathy.
Sierra tried for a deep breath but she hurt too much. “Brutal. They say it’s worse for women who’ve never given birth, and I believe them.” At least the pain of childbirth would be worth it. This? Cancer, cancer, cancer. The refrain refused to die in her mind.
“How long until you get the results?”
“I don’t know. A few days, at least. Probably everything takes longer over the holiday weekend.”
The nurse bustled back in with a prescription for a painkiller. “One for the road,” she announced, handing over a cup of water and a wee paper container with one tablet.
Sierra took both and dashed them back. It was way too late to turn down medical technology, no matter how Chelsea’s eyebrows rose.
“You’re free to leave whenever you’re ready.” The nurse set the bag containing Sierra’s clothes beside her feet.
The loudspeaker called for Doctor Seeley, stat. The nurse whisked back out.
Chelsea opened the bag and pulled out Sierra’s sweats. “Not feeling that great, huh?”
Understatement.
“Then it’s a good thing I booked us a bed and breakfast for tonight. I grabbed a stack of magazines and a good selection of snacks. We’re all set for some bonding time.”
Her sister was enjoying this far too much. But at least Sierra wouldn’t have to face her friends when she was in this much pain. It would be hard to dissemble.
A Farm Fresh Romance Series 1-3 (A Farm Fresh Romance Box Set) Page 69