by Toni Aleo
Audrey couldn’t believe Levi was gone. How could he leave her? She did everything! She loved him with everything inside her. Gave him anything he wanted. Made sure, he was fully loved. Took the crap he dished out, and also the pain during sex. So he liked to choke her when they did it. Everyone had their quirks, she just hoped one day she too would like it, even though it really didn’t seem like she would.
But that wasn’t the only reason she was crying. How could she sleep with a man she didn’t know!? Why did she miss this nameless man! Why could she still feel his lips along her spine, and collar bone? Why did she feel so good after last night, and not in pain? He was a big dude, huge even, and Audrey swore nothing hurt. Everything ached, but in a good way. She wanted him again, and that alone was bad, very bad.
What the hell was wrong with her!? Why the hell did Fallon have to be getting married? Didn’t she understand that Audrey needed her? That Audrey would never be able to have her Happily Ever After? It wasn’t fair! Audrey loved with everything inside of her, and she kept getting shit on. When she made a mistake, she found herself thinking it to death before she was able to let it go. Not only was she going to be torturing herself, trying to figure out why Levi really thought this other girl was better, but she would also try to figure out why she thought it was a good idea to sleep with Blondie. Again, no telling what she could have caught from him.
Damn it. That was two calls she needed to make, all because she was dumb and went home with a man she didn’t know. Blah.
Where the hell was that damn violin!?
Audrey wrapped her arms around her legs, and leaned her head on her knees, letting the tears roll down her legs. She hated feeling like this. She wanted to be happy. She was damn near 30. Shouldn’t she have her shit together by now? Audrey shook her head, wiping her cheeks with the palm of her hand before inhaling a deep breath. She looked up at her shelves, and couldn’t bring herself to be excited about how fantastic her shoes would look on them. She would much rather have a nursery, with a sweet baby in it. But that was an untouchable dream, something she would never be blessed with. At least not the way she wanted it to happen.
When Audrey heard the sounds of a piano, she let out a thankful sigh. She stood up quickly, getting her beer and chocolate before leaning up against the wall that she shared with her neighbor. It would always get on Levi’s nerves when her neighbor played his piano, but it was honestly the highlight of Audrey’s day. And right now, it couldn’t have been a more welcomed sound. As she listened to her neighbor’s skillful hands move along the keys, playing the most beautiful song ever, A Drop in the Ocean, by Ron Pope, Audrey found herself singing along, instead of thinking of things she couldn’t change. She needed this escape, especially after the night and morning she had had.
All of a sudden she started crying again, she couldn’t help it. She was completely alone and probably would always be. No man would want someone who couldn’t have children. It had been almost 10 years since she was told she couldn’t carry her own child and she couldn’t understand why she was still broken apart about it? Why couldn’t she get over it and just live her life? There were men out there who wouldn’t mind adopting or being with just her, but damn it, it had been 10 years and she hadn’t found him.
Men wanted their own children, and when she would find one who didn’t care, she learned later that it was because they never really planned to stay with her. She was just the nice one, the one who would be there when they needed her. Buy them things when they needed them. Be the easy lay. She was so desperate to be in love that she did just about anything to get there.
Audrey moved her hands along her cheeks as hiccup sobs left her body. She had so many plans when she was younger. So many, and all of them were gone now. If she would have been strong and stood up to her father when she had the chance, she wouldn’t be here; she would be doing what she wanted. Instead, she was working a job she hated, involved in relationships with deadbeats, and would never be able to hold a child who she grew inside of her.
It wasn’t fair.
But it was her life.
***
Tate slammed his stick against the goal post.
What the fuck was his problem! That was two goals in 52 seconds! He never let goals in that quickly and for the first time he had! Tate inhaled a deep cleansing breath. He wasn’t himself, and that needed to change. There was no way he was going to let the Assassins’ lose to the Ducks, the worst team in the NHL. He was one of the three top goalies in the league! He had to get his head in the game. He had to.
Tate slammed his stick against his pads before standing high and looking out at the ice. His captain, Shea Adler, and his alternate captain, Jacob Titov, stood together as three forwards skated around, getting ready for the puck to be dropped. Tate glanced over to where coach Bacter stood, yelling his ass off. He never really talked to the guys when they were on the ice; he was more of a yeller.
And he scared the living shit out of Tate.
Tate’s career was in the hands of Bacter. If he kept messing up, all Bacter had to do was say he wanted someone else, and Tate would be back in Florida on the Assassins’ farm team, something he didn’t want. He loved his team. Adler, Titov, Brooks, and Anderson were his friends. Real friends. He hadn’t felt like he was at home until meeting those guys. He was also getting used to Nashville, and he was getting settled into his condo. Things were good.
Except for the fact that the first time he has sex in months, the girl he wakes up next to shoots out of the room faster than a puck being shot into a goal by his captain. It was depressing and it really did fuck with his head. Was he that horrible? Did he not give her everything she wanted? He had made sure to give more than he took, but it must have not been good enough. What did he do wrong? But most of all, why was he letting this affect his game!
Tate smacked his pads again, taking in another cleansing breath. He had a game to win. He would think about his issues with the un-named girl later.
After the game Tate sat by his locker, with his head between his knees. How he ended up winning would always be a mystery to him. He was a mess between those steel pipes and he didn’t know if he was going to be able to be the goalie that the Assassins needed. At one point he had completely blacked out from all the adrenaline coursing through his system. Finally he got his head in the game and nothing else mattered. Not the thousands of people watching or the Brunette Beauty from two days ago.
She was still heavy on his mind as he took in deep shuddering breaths. All he could see was the worried lines between her eyes as she looked for her clothes. She was in such a hurry to leave. It was as if she couldn’t get away from him quickly enough. Was he really that awful? He could have sworn they had a good time. Tate knew he had taken exceptional care of her in a bed that was big even to him. He had been the perfect lover and man, was she a hot little thing!
He still wasn’t breathing right after the ways she worked him. She had him yelling out things that he normally wouldn’t say. She was gorgeous and sexy, and he wanted more. But he hadn’t gotten her number, or hell, even her name. How was he supposed to find a woman who didn’t want to be found?
“Goldie! What the hell is wrong with you?”
Tate looked up to see Lucas Brooks standing in front of him already dressed and ready to go. Tate sat in his gear, still sweaty. As he looked around the room, he saw that he was the last one still in gear. Not that it mattered; the team couldn’t leave without him. He looked back up into Lucas’ eyes and shrugged his shoulders.
“Nothing, just thinking.”
Lucas scoffed, “Are you still thinking of the runaway lay? Let her go, she obviously wasn’t worth your time.”
Tate shook his head, “She was amazing.”
Lucas laughed, “Dude, she’s the first girl in months. You’ll find another.”
Tate ran his hands through his short hair. He hated his new haircut. He liked his blonde hair long, not in a short cut, but the guys had made fun of him,
calling him Goldilocks, so he went ahead and cut it. Now, he was regretting it more and more each day. He should have known better, Matilda, his sister, had always told him not to cut it no matter what. He should have listened. Now he felt more like a girly boy, than he did before.
With a huff, Tate looked up at Lucas again, and shrugged his shoulders.
“You are probably right. It just bothers me.”
Lucas nodded, “It would bother me too, but don’t worry. You’ll find someone. I’ll see you on the bus.”
Tate nodded as Lucas walked off. Little did Lucas know that Tate’s confidence was blown to bits! It had taken a lot for him to walk up to the beauty and hit on her. He wasn’t used to things around here. It scared him shitless to be rejected and watching her run out of that hotel room made all hope of his finding someone go up in smoke.
Tate knew he was young and good looking. He shouldn’t have any problem finding someone but it still bothered him. He wanted a relationship like his parents. He wanted to find that special person, the same special person his dad had in Tate’s mom. He wanted to find her like his dad had when they were young. He wanted to love only her for the rest of his life. He wanted to have a son, so he could teach him how to play hockey. Tate wanted everything while he was young, just as his parents had done. Was it too much to ask?
Apparently it was in Nashville. The women he met were either not interested in him, or were too independent to actually want anything more than a one-night stand.
Just like the Brunette Beauty.
Even though he knew he should just let her go, he wished he could see her once more. He would try again if he ever got the chance. It was obvious she was attracted to him. She had told him countless times that he was hot, but what if it was the alcohol? Maybe she was embarrassed because she usually doesn’t have one-night stands. Maybe it was all the alcohol, but that didn’t seem right because even through his alcohol haze, he still felt something with her. Maybe she didn’t though, and that’s why she ran.
Tate shook his head, he had to get his head on straight, or he would drive himself insane. He had too many things to worry about; adding in the beauty who rocked his world wouldn’t help his mental state. He had to forget her.
He had to.
Chapter 3
Audrey was beginning to hate Ann Frances Bridal Boutique. She had been there nine times in the past week, and Fallon still hadn’t chosen anything. It was driving Audrey insane. How hard was it to pick a dress when Fallon basically looked great in anything! Plus, Lucas didn’t care! He just wanted to be married to her, so why was Fallon putting them through this?
Audrey leaned back into the plush chair, and let out an aggravated sigh. Not only was she in a pissy mood about dress shopping, but she hadn’t heard from Levi in six days. She was really starting to believe that he was done with her. He would have called her by now if he wasn’t. It broke her heart all over again every time something of his wasn’t there. She was so used to cleaning up after him, cooking, and cuddling, that now she felt empty. Audrey just wanted him back; she hated living in that big empty condo, with nothing but shoes.
It was depressing.
But was that the only reason she wanted Levi back? Was it because she was lonely or was it because she really did miss him? Yeah, she had thought about him often, but that was when something of his was missing, or when she knew he was supposed to be there. She hadn’t really missed him, as a person, but missed his presence. She missed the feel of strong arms wrapped around her in bed. She missed making dinner and eating together. She missed watching TV, or talking on the phone until he had to go. She missed those things, the little sweet things, but she didn’t miss Levi. It was weird because she always missed him when he left her, but this time, all she could do was miss Blondie.
Oh, how that blonde giant stayed on her mind. The night they shared was on replay, 24/7. She didn’t remember a lot of it, but what she did remember, was hot and perfect. He took such care, such time with her. His lips were soft and warm along her skin. There was so much of him for her to play with. He was so long and thick in many places. The feel of his rough hands along her smooth skin had her fanning herself as she sat up straighter in the chair.
Man, he was smoking.
Luckily, to take her mind off Blondie, Fallon came out in one of the dresses she was deciding on. Audrey moved her hair behind her ear as she took in the beauty that was her sister. Fallon shrugged her shoulders as she got up on the platform and looked at herself in the dress. The dress was a masterpiece. It was Audrey’s favorite of the two. Made completely of lace, it fit Fallon like a glove. It was tight at the bodice and around her hips before it widened into a full skirt. The bodice came around her neck as a halter, but the under piece went right above Fallon’s breast, still giving her a little bit of cleavage. The back made the dress for Audrey. It dipped all the way down to the top of her bottom, and showed her whole back. It was such a classy dress, not Fallon’s usual style, but it fit her and Audrey loved it.
Plus, the bridesmaid’s dress they chose to go with it was gorgeous.
“I like it,” Fallon said, with her hands on her hips.
“But,” Audrey supplied.
“But, I don’t know if I want to go with the innocent sweet lace thing. It’s not really me, ya know?”
Audrey nodded; they had had this conversation at least a 100 times. “Yes, Fallon, but you look hot. It shows a lot more skin than the mermaid style one. That one is just tight, this one shows boobs, and lower back, I mean what more do you need?”
Fallon nodded, as she always did. She then shrugged her shoulders and went down the stairs of the platform to put on the other dress. They had done this so many times, that Audrey should know the exact moment when Fallon would come out. She didn’t keep up with it that day though because she was too busy playing on her phone. She had to keep her brain busy, if she didn’t, she would think about Blondie and she couldn’t do that.
Audrey also couldn’t think of how she was pretty sure she made a huge mistake, or how he probably told all his friends that she was the biggest slut this side of the Red River. What if he found out her name and looked her up on Facebook? What if he found out she had money and started blackmailing her?!? Yes, it was a long shot. But damn it, it scared the living crap out of her. He seemed like a nice guy, with his sexy blonde hair, beautiful eyes, sweet hands, and smooth swagger, but that still didn’t keep Audrey from thinking he was a conman.
She was crazy.
Audrey’s face fell into her hands, just as Fallon came back out in the second dress. It was an off white strapless dress that hugged Fallon’s curves until it reached below her knees. Then it went into a big puffy mess. It was pretty, especially the champagne sash that wrapped around her waist, but it just did nothing for Audrey. She didn’t think it was Fallon. It was hot, but it wasn’t something that she thought Fallon would be proud of in 30 years when she looked back at the wedding pictures.
“I like the way this one looks on my hips,” Fallon started as she cocked her head to the side, looking herself over.
“But,” Audrey repeated.
Fallon shot her a grin before saying, “But, I don’t like the way it makes my boobs look like they are non-existent.”
“You can get a push up bra,” Audrey said, rolling her eyes.
“What’s wrong with you?” Fallon asked, shooting her a concerned look.
Audrey shrugged her shoulders, “Fallon, we’ve done this 50 times this week, I’m over it. Pick a dress. You’re gonna look hot in anything.”
Fallon narrowed her eyes as she slowly shook her head, “No, something is wrong, what is it?”
“Nothing.”
Fallon laughed, “Liar, it’s something. Tell me.”
Audrey shook her head, “No, I’m good, just pick a dress.”
Fallon eyed her before saying, “I’ll pick a dress if you tell me.”
Audrey perked up, “Really? And I’ll never have to come back?”
Fallon giggled, “Not until we come for your wedding dress.”
As if.
Audrey pushed that thought away and shrugged her shoulders. She really didn’t want to tell Fallon that she and Levi had broken up. She knew Fallon was going to be ecstatic and she wasn’t going to hide it. It was bad enough that Levi was probably happy he left; she really didn’t need to see the happiness on her sister.
But then again, she really was beginning to hate this store.
“Okay, Levi left me.”
Fallon eyes went wide as her mouth fell open. Her eyes filled with excitement as she started to bounce a little. A bright grin came across her face as she came towards Audrey, wrapping her up in her arms.
“Don’t look too excited, Fal,” Audrey muttered against her shoulder. Fallon pulled back, still a bright smile on her face. Audrey looked down and started picking at the rip in her jeans.
“Oh, sorry.”
Audrey look up to see Fallon had dropped the smile, but she was still smiling with her eyes, “You still look happy.”
Fallon giggled, “Oh I am, this is better than picking a dress, honestly.”
Audrey rolled her eyes, “I did love him you know.”
“Ah, whatever, he was the king of all douches. No big loss… on to bigger and brighter things.”
Audrey let out a frustrated breath, “I don’t agree, but that’s beside the point, pick a dress.”
Fallon did a little hop, “In a minute! When can I start fixing you up!? You need a date for the wedding!”
“No, I don’t, Aiden is my date,” Audrey said. A grin replaced her sullen look at the thought of her little guy. She loved her nephew like he was hers, and he would be the best date ever. They used to be best friends, but then Lucas came into their lives. For as much as Lucas had taken from Audrey, one would think she would hate him, but she didn’t. She couldn’t because he was the best.