by Toni Aleo
She did, long and hard, coming completely undone underneath his talented hand. Breathing hard, she moved her hands into his blonde hair, bringing their mouths together as she-
Wait? Blonde Hair?
Audrey sat up quickly, holding the blanket against her chest as sweat dripped down her back. Looking around the dark room, Audrey realized that she was alone, and that she was dreaming. Of sex with Tate!
Her ‘had to be’ friend.
Shit.
Picking her phone off the bed stand and seeing that it was only 2 a.m., she fell back onto the bed with a groan. Man, that was a hot, sexy, yummy dream and she wasn’t the least bit surprised that she was dreaming of Tate. After spending the whole night with him, then thinking about him non-stop before going to sleep, and still feeling him kissing her, it was bound to happen. The only thing she wished was that it wasn’t just a dream. She was wishing it was true.
Audrey just didn’t know what she was going to do. She had guys want her before. She knew how to handle them. But it was different when it came to Tate. When he said he wouldn’t quit, Audrey had seen in his eyes that he wasn’t lying, or playing a game. He was for real, and part of her was scared shitless. She didn’t know how else to explain that she wasn’t the girl for him than basically telling him about her condition. But how could she? She hadn’t told anyone, ever. So how could she to keep him away?
Did she want to keep him away?
She cared for Tate, a lot. She enjoyed his company: their joking banter. Lord knew she loved looking at him. She had never gotten along so great with a guy before. Even with Levi, she had never felt so comfortable. The whole time she was with Tate, she didn’t think of anything else but him. It was weird. Even when they talked about Levi, she brushed the subject off and brought up another. She just enjoyed Tate. Was that wrong? How could it be so easy for them?
It still blew Audrey’s mind that Tate had a thing for older women. Was that what this was? Was he just chasing the next older female? Little did he know this old one was defective and he should probably just move on. Audrey’s heart started to hurt at the thought of him doing that. Finding a beautiful young…or maybe another older girl and loving her, the way Audrey wanted to be loved. Jealousy ate away at Audrey’s heart as she sat in her bed stewing about the beautiful woman Tate would marry and have babies with. She had no reason to be jealous but she was. She hated that she wasn’t brave enough to share her condition with him. To give him the option of choosing if he would want to be with her or not, she was being a coward and it was nothing new.
She wouldn’t be brave about this, her job, or giving up Levi. She would always do this to herself, and she was bound to grow old, lonely and in a job she hated. For once she wished she had the balls to do what would make her happy. She was so scared of rejection. When Levi rejected her love the morning before, it broke her, or at least she thought it did. She hadn’t thought about it at all. She was too busy with Tate.
What did that mean? Was she using Tate as a distraction? Was that all this was? But it couldn’t be. She genuinely liked Tate, so what was this?
Was it real?
Audrey laid her head against her knees, and sat for a moment, trying to decide what the hell was going on. She slowly ran her fingers along her lips, remembering the feel of his plump juicy ones on them. When she heard the faint sound of a piano, she almost fell on her face trying to get out of the bed. Running across the hall in only a tank and panties, she stumbled into her closet. Sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, the vibrations from the piano next door tickled her back. Leaning her head against the wall, she wondered why Tate was up so late. He had practice early in the morning. Shouldn’t he be asleep?
Her worry about his sleep patterns quickly died when she recognized the song he was playing. It was another personal favorite and she was starting to think that they had the same taste in music. Hugging her legs tightly, she sang along to the beautiful melody of Stranger by Secondhand Serenade.
“I'm broke and abandoned, you are an angel, making all my dreams come true tonight,” Audrey sang, tears springing to her eyes. She was the worst singer imaginable but it was such a beautiful song, she couldn’t help but sing along. She found a part of her, probably the selfish part, hoped he was playing it for her. When he played the best part of the song, the tears fell, rolling down her cheeks as she sang along, “Take a look at me so you can see how beautiful you are.”
Audrey had no clue what she was going to do, but she needed to do something. After only a few times with Tate, she was starting to feel something for him. How was that right? She was supposed to be in love with Levi! How was she having even an inkling of feeling for Tate? It was wrong…but she couldn’t help it. She knew that being around Tate, getting to know him better was going to do nothing but make her fall harder. She needed to stop hanging out with him. That was the only way to fix everything. As much as she wanted a Happily Ever After with Tate, she knew she couldn’t be selfish. She couldn’t take away his dreams of having a family someday by wanting him to be with her.
With the tears starting to roll faster down Audrey’s cheeks, snot drained from her nose as choking sobs ripped through her body. She knew that she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t let him go, not yet. All she could do was tell him about her condition and let him choose. Then if he rejected her, she would be in the exact same place she was now. And what about Levi? Could she really be done? Was she already done? Had she been done and that’s why she stood up to him? She couldn’t help but think about Lucas and Fallon. What would they think about it all?
Audrey leaned against the wall, crying her heart out over Tate, and thinking that she was in one hell of a pickle.
~*~
Audrey was drained.
Emotionally and physically.
It almost kept her home for the day, but she had a meeting with her dad. Walking down the long orange- filled hall to her father’s office, she couldn’t help but hate the color of her family’s company. Being a big University of Tennessee fan, Audrey’s great, great, grandpa decided that the company’s colors needed to be orange and white, and so everything was. And that meant everything: floors, walls, furniture. It was disgusting and the place screamed for a makeover, but her father loved it just as much as his father had. Hopefully one day, when the company went to Fallon, she’d change the color. Maybe then Audrey would like working there.
Probably not.
Walking quickly towards her father’s office, Audrey moved her hands down the front of her chocolate brown sheath dress. It was extremely plain, but she dressed it up with gold jewelry and sexy brown, high heeled boots that came to mid thigh. The boots had gold chains hanging along the sides and gold heels. Her hair was up in a messy bun with her Ray-Bans holding up her bangs. Turning the corner, she moved her hands up to the gold birdcage that hung from her neck. She slid it back and forth along the chain. Doing that caused her to think of the tattoos on Tate’s chest, but that was only for a second before she was thinking of the hard lines and sexy dips of his chest.
Fantastic.
With a shake of her head, Audrey knocked on her father’s door. When she heard him say, “Come in,” she went in with a smile on her face.
“Hey Daddy,” she said shutting the door behind her.
William stood and came around the desk to hug her tightly, “Hello, darlin’, how are you?”
“Tired, but no big deal, here are those consumer reports on the Big Country wine that was released in California and the ones from Fallon’s Cellar.”
William nodded, taking the papers from her and sitting behind his desk. Moving through the papers, a grin remained on his face. He had been a different man ever since Fallon’s wedding. It was weird, but good all in one. Even Fallon was getting along with him, and that was really weird. Maybe she could tell him about wanting to leave; maybe she would get a different response.
Maybe pigs will fly one day.
“She has done really well with that cellar,
” William muttered.
Audrey nodded, “She has.”
William nodded again, and continued to look through the papers, asking questions here and there. Audrey answered them quickly and efficiently, wanting more than anything to go back home and get in bed.
Putting the papers down, William looked up, “You look beautiful today, darling.”
Audrey smiled as her cheeks warmed, “Thank you, Daddy.”
William nodded and like always he asked, “Everything okay?”
Audrey held his gaze as she had an internal battle with herself about telling him she wanted to leave. He always asked her that, it was almost like he knew she wanted to leave but knew she wouldn’t say it first. Could she do it, could she tell him she wasn’t happy?
Why do something you don’t love?
Hearing Tate’s voice didn’t help. Looking over at her father, she nodded her head, “Everything is fine.”
Feeling like an idiot, Audrey made her way back to her office. She knew she should have said something but she wasn’t ready for that fight with her father. He was different, yes, but she knew how he felt about his girls working for the company. It was almost mandatory with being a Parker. It was kind of spooky in a way.
Going into her office, she grabbed her purse off her desk just as her phone started to ring. Bringing it out of her pocket, she saw it was Piper.
“Hola!” Audrey gushed as she locked her office and headed out the building.
“What up, chica!” Piper gushed back, obviously in a great mood.
“Nothing much, I’m tired, going home to bed.”
“Lazy ass, wish I had that luxury.”
Audrey laughed, “You work for your sister, how hard could it be to just leave?”
“Harder than you think. Harper hasn’t been doing well lately,” Piper said sadly.
Audrey stopped in the middle of the hall, “Is everything okay?”
“No, apparently my sister has had 5 miscarriages in the last year, and has told no one. The last one put her in the hospital and they told her she might not be able to ever carry another child. Her uterus is weak or something.”
“Oh my gosh, Piper, tell her I’m praying for her. Gosh, that sucks,” Audrey said, her heart breaking for Harper. She didn’t know that Harper wanted more babies after her gorgeous daughter, but she couldn’t help but wonder why she hadn’t gotten pregnant. Meanwhile, Elli was knocking them out every 9 months.
“I will, thank you. So yeah, I’ve been running things all week and it’s been hectic, I even took Ally for a couple days. She’s here now.”
“Well, what a fantastic sister you are,” Audrey said with a grin.
“Someone’s gotta be since Reese said she is too busy to deal with any of it.”
“Grr, I don’t like her,” Audrey growled out, “Let me know if you need anything, I’m here for y’all.”
“Thanks so much, babe, you mean the world to me,” Piper said compassionately.
“Same to you, babe,” Audrey declared, climbing into her car.
“So, off sad stuff!” Piper said quickly, “How was last night with sexy goalie?”
Audrey laughed, “Fine, we watched movies and played games.”
“Sounds boring,” Piper said causing Audrey to laugh.
“Actually it was quite awesome, and at the end, he kissed me.”
“SHUT UP! So, y’all hooked up?!”
Audrey shook her head, laughing as she reached her car, “No, I stopped him.”
Piper was quiet, and then she asked, “Can I ask why?”
“Because we need to be friends, and if we get together and break up, it would kill me not having him as my friend,” she said and part of her meant it while the other half knew she was full of crap.
And Piper, being Piper, called her out on it, “That is the biggest load of crap ever! What the hell is going on, Audrey?”
Audrey hadn’t started the car yet, and sat there not knowing what to say. She couldn’t tell Piper, she didn’t want to tell anyone, but her reason of ‘she was too old for him’ was getting old. Taking a deep breath in, she said, “There are things about me you don’t know. No one knows. I can’t be with someone so young and who has all these dreams and aspirations because I won’t be able to contribute.”
“For goodness sakes Audrey, y’all ain't getting married tomorrow! If y’all are meant to be, then anything that is a problem will work out. Stop fighting it. You want your Happily Ever After, your Prince Charming, he’s standing right in front of you!” she yelled.
“Maybe you’re right, but don’t you think that it’s a little fucked up that I like him, but I am apparently still in love with Levi? Explain that to me!”
“It’s easy! You never loved Levi cause if you did, you wouldn’t be so smitten with Tate. You were in love with the idea of being in love, but here’s the kicker, no one loved anyone! Sometimes I don’t even think you know what love is, but then I see you with Fallon, Aiden, Lucas and me, and I know you do. Please, stop being stupid, be happy instead!”
Could she be right, did Audrey never really love Levi? As if Audrey wasn’t confused enough. “I don’t know, maybe I should wait it out, see if Tate is a good guy.”
Piper scoffed, “Even I know that is a bogus ass statement. Tate is fantastic and you know it.”
She did.
“Maybe I should feel him out, get to know him, see if he wants the same things I do.”
“That’s what dating is for! You want to do the boot leg version of it because you are afraid to put your heart out there! Stop being scared, Audrey Jane Parker! Be a woman! A lusty yummy, wanting woman!”
Audrey shook her head and then started laughing, “Do you feel like you did a good job there?”
Piper laughed, “I do actually, I’m pretty sure that was inspirational.”
“Yeah, you had me at ‘a lusty, yummy, wanting woman’.”
“Thought so, now come on, be you. Be the amazing Audrey I know.”
Audrey really wanted too, but could she? If she couldn’t even tell her dad that she wanted a cupcakery, how could she tell a guy that she couldn’t have children but would love to have a chance to be with him?
One thing was for sure, she had to do something.
Audrey had rocked out to her new Karmin CD the whole way home. When she came inside with bags from the grocery, she was still rocking out. She didn’t even notice the two large hockey players standing at her island. Seeing them, she let out a girlie scream, and jumped almost six feet in the air.
“Great balls of fire! Sheesh, guys!”
Lucas looked unaffected as he munched on a sandwich, sweat drenched his white tee, and a tool belt hung low on his waist. Tate grinned as he made his way towards her, leaving his (no surprise) cupcake on the counter. He reached for the bags and she rewarded him with a bright smile as she took in his hotness. He wore low riding jeans, with a fitted blue tee. His hair was in a mess, drenched in sweat, and she could see sweat glistening in his beard. Within seconds Audrey was back in her dream, feeling his beard and hands all over her body.
Mmmm, she wanted so bad to reach out and touch him.
“Hey, Audrey,” he said looking deep into her eyes.
Why was it even hot when he said “hi” to her?
“Hey, Tate,” she said breathlessly as he turned to take her groceries to the island. “What are y’all doing? Other than eating my food?”
Tate smiled sheepishly as Lucas shrugged his shoulders, “Getting the closet done. We leave this weekend for a week trip, back for three days, then back out for another week, so I wanted to get it done today since I’m about to be really busy. Tate wasn’t doing anything so I made him help me.”
Audrey doubted Lucas had to make Tate do anything. He was still grinning at her and Audrey couldn’t help but smile back as she unloaded groceries.
“Well that blows y’all are leaving, what will I do without my favorite brother-in-law, and my cupcake monster over there?” Audrey joked.
Tate laughed as Lucas smiled bumping shoulders with Audrey. “Help Fallon out with Aiden please, and who’s a cupcake monster?”
Audrey looked over at Lucas and nodded towards Tate, “Tate.”
“Tate?” Lucas looked over at him, and then back at Audrey, “He eats your cupcakes?”
Audrey laughed, “Tate’s a cupcake monster and, yes, he does.”
Lucas eyed Tate for a moment before saying, “Okay.”
Audrey could tell by the tone of his voice that nothing was okay, but she ignored it, putting away groceries.
“Oh, Tate!” she gushed, turning from refrigerator, “I thought of something that only a few people know,” she laughed.
Tate smiled, leaning against the island, “What’s that?”
“I am an intense club dancer. I be breaking it down, son,” she said, before doing her rendition of the robot.
Tate laughed, shaking his head, “I don’t believe it.”
“Oh I’ll show you, we’ll have to go dancing.”
Tate nodded, his eyes piercing hers, “I look forward to it.”
Audrey grinned widely at him before skipping to the sink to clean off her chicken. When she turned and saw Lucas staring at her, she said, “What?”
“Nothing, I didn’t know you guys were hanging out.”
Audrey nodded, “He’s my neighbor.”
“Well, yeah,” Lucas agreed before looking over at Tate, “Is that all?”
Tate put his hands up and said, “We’re friends, apparently.”
“Apparently?” Lucas asked as Audrey shook her head.
Tate couldn’t leave off the ‘apparently’?
“Yes, we are just friends, no worries, Lucas,” Audrey said patting him on the back.
At least there was no worry for the time being, things could always change, though.
Audrey was just waiting for her balls to drop to change them.
***
Tate knew he should have been worried about the way Lucas was eyeing him, but he was too busy taking in the beauty that was Audrey. Even wearing a dress that look like a big brown bag, she looked gorgeous. When she came in singing, (yeah, she sounded terrible) it was nice to see her so carefree and happy. He liked that little peek into her private life, and he wanted more than anything to be a part of it.