by Toni Aleo
Ah, she drove him nuts!
Tate knew this was because of that asshat, Levi. He hurt her to the core and because of that, Tate was paying for his mistakes. Tate didn’t understand it, what could that asshole say to mess her up so bad? Did he tell her that men didn’t want women who couldn’t have kids? Is that why she was so hung up on it? He wanted nothing more than to confront Levi, demand to know what he said to ruin Audrey. He then would promptly beat the shit out of him for hurting her. Why couldn’t Tate have found her eight months ago? Would it have been different? Would she know what was standing in front of her then?
Pulling into the airfield, Tate spotted Lucas standing beside his truck. He was waiting for Tate, like he did every time they had a road trip. All of a sudden, Tate became angry at Lucas and when he parked beside his good friend, he came out the car yelling.
“Why couldn’t you keep them apart!?”
Lucas looked around before looking back at Tate, “Are you talking to me?”
“Yes! Audrey and Levi, why couldn’t you have kept them apart? That asshole hurt her! Bad, and now I am paying for his fuck ups! So thanks a fucking lot, Lucas!”
Lucas scoffed, “What the hell? I didn’t do anything!”
“That’s right! Aren’t you supposed to take care of the women in your life? Did Audrey not mean enough to you to keep her safe? To protect her heart! What kind of man are you!”
Lucas’ eyes went wide as he stared up at him. Tate was breathing hard, his hands shaking and his heart beating in overtime. He knew he was wrong for what he was saying to his best friend, but he couldn’t help it. He was fucking losing it. Audrey was driving him insane, and Tate couldn’t see this working out for him. He was too far gone with her. For her to take away what he felt could be forever, felt like she had pulled the rug out from underneath him. He hadn’t felt so unbalanced and hurt since he buried his parents. That had to mean something, but it didn’t matter! She wouldn’t see that it did!
Taking a step forward, Lucas leaned in close, his eyes narrowed and full of anger. “Let me tell you something, you little punk, I love Audrey, and I did look out for her. I can’t control her life and no matter how many times, Fallon and I told her to stay away from him, she didn’t. We knew Levi was bad for her, but Audrey thought he wasn’t. So before you start blaming people who don’t deserve the blame, find out the facts.”
Lucas shook his head as he walked away, leaving Tate to feel worse than he originally had. Watching as his best friend, or whom he hoped was still his best friend, walk away, Tate felt empty. Who else was he going to lose and how much more pain was he going to be put through? He saw the look on Audrey’s face and knew that she stood by what she felt was right, and no matter what, Tate didn’t think she would change her mind. He didn’t understand it and he felt utterly helpless. Taking in a deep breath, Tate grabbed his bags and headed for the plane. Things were falling apart around him, but he still had a plane to catch and a game to play.
This was his life.
Emptiness.
***
When Audrey’s phone rang for the tenth time, she decided that she might want to make sure it wasn’t Fallon. Peeking out from under the sheets she and Tate had made love in; she saw that it wasn’t Fallon but Piper. Clicking ‘ignore’, she saw that the other nine calls had been from Piper too. Hating that she was ignoring her best friend, Audrey shook her head and went back into hiding.
She wanted to die.
Never had something hurt her this badly. She missed Tate something serious. While part of her didn’t want to admit why it hurt, the other part knew why. Audrey had said she was scared of rejection, well she hadn’t been rejected, she’d sent him away. Why though? What the hell was she thinking? Was it because he didn’t care that she couldn’t have children when she expected him too? Or was it because she really didn’t want to be happy?
Just as before when she walked away from Tate, she felt like she had made another mistake. Was that what she was going to do for the rest of her life? Make mistake after mistake? And never learn from them?
When her phone rang again and it was Piper, Audrey decided she should answer. Piper could be dying or something.
“About time!” Piper yelled into the phone causing Audrey to cringe. She didn’t feel like talking to anyone or joking or being happy. She wanted to drown in her sorrows, and hate herself for hurting Tate.
She was a stupid bitch.
“Hey, I’m sleeping, are you alive?” Audrey asked, trying to rush off the phone.
“Yes, and boy am I glad I am. I’m sorry buddy, but you’re gonna need to get up. I have amazing, sexy, news.”
Audrey groaned, rolling over to cuddle against the pillow Tate had slept on, “What’s up?”
“I slept with Erik.”
“What?”
“Yeah, and oh my goodness, Audrey, it was fantastic, amazing, oh my God! I can still feel him on top of me!” Piper gushed and Audrey could imagine her doing twirls around her living room like a child.
“You’re kidding,” Audrey said shocked.
“Not at all. You would have been so proud, I told him I had been lusting over him for the past year and he said he hadn’t noticed but he was glad he had now, and the next thing I know we are almost having sex in the taxi.”
“Wow.”
“I know right!? It was so freaking awesome, A, so good. I’ve never felt like that, he awakened all kinds of dirty things inside me and Lord! I can’t wait for him to come home at the end of the week.”
“I’m so happy for you, Pipe,” Audrey said, tears gathering in her eyes.
“I just did it you know? I gotta make myself happy, I can’t be scared. I have to try, right? He’s gorgeous and sweet, and Lord, he makes me feel good. He made me so happy last night, A. So freaking happy.” Audrey could only nod as she held in a sob while Piper went on, “I can’t wait to see where this goes.”
Even though Audrey would rather have hung up the phone and thrown it out the window, she knew she had to be there for her friend. She had to put on her big girl panties, and be supportive. Even if she felt like her world was falling apart.
“It’s going to be great, you’re amazing, Pipe, he’ll fall head over heels for you in a week.”
Piper giggled, “Man, a girl can dream, huh?”
“Sure can,” Audrey agreed.
“I just feel so good, I feel like I’m gonna cry, I’m so happy.”
Audrey smiled, wiping away stray tear. She wanted to be happy like that, but like Tate said, she wouldn’t let herself be happy. “Then cry girl, I’ll call you later and we can gush some more. I’m sorry but I am dead tired.”
“Oh girl you’re fine! I think I might try to go to sleep too. Erik kept me up all night long,” she said with a girly giggle, “Not that I mind!”
Audrey faked a giggle before saying, “I bet you don’t, I’ll holler at you later, bye,” Audrey said and when Piper said bye, she hung up.
Covering her face with her pillow, Audrey let out a loud frustrated cry. What the hell had she done!? She missed Tate, so much and it had only been a few hours since he left. She wanted to call him, tell him he was right and that she was sorry but she knew in her heart that even though he said he didn’t care about her not being able to have children, she knew he would. Maybe not right now, but later he would. When they had their house and white picket fence, with four dogs, he would look at her and decide that she wasn’t enough anymore. Maybe she was overreacting and putting herself through pain that wasn’t needed, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that she may be right.
Rubbing her nose against his pillow, she took a deep breath, taking in his scent just as her phone rang. Bringing it up so she could see it, a picture of her and Lucas stared back at her. Why was he calling her? Did something happen to Tate? Or Fallon? Aiden!? Ignoring the fact that she thought of Tate before her sister and nephew, Audrey hit the answer button and said, “Hello?” She hoped to God, that Lucas couldn’t tell she had been
crying. She really didn’t want to explain that too him.
“Hey you,” he said in his low voice. “Just checking in on you.”
Oh, Thank God, Audrey thought, letting out the whoosh of air she was holding.
“Oh, I’m good, everything okay with you?”
“No, actually, I had a rough morning and it concerns you.”
Audrey sat up, confused, “How so?”
“What’s going on with Tate and you?”
Audrey paused, “What do you mean?”
“I mean what I said. I let this shit with Levi go because honestly, Levi isn’t the person I want in my life anymore and I hoped that you guys would be over quick so I could cut ties with him, but unfortunately it went on longer than I thought, but that is beside the point. The point is, I care for Tate, a lot. He is a very close friend, so whatever is going on between you guys, I need you to make sure it’s worth it.”
Audrey didn’t know what to say, so she didn’t say anything. Lucas let out a long breath and then asked, “But if you can tell me that you are or could be nothing without him, that you can’t walk this earth without him and that you are totally devoted to him, then shit, AA, I’ll let you be. Because I know damn well it wasn’t that way with Levi, but with Tate, it could be different and I know that.”
The tears rolled down her cheeks and she knew the answer to each of those questions. Did it even matter though?
“It could be,” she answered sadly.
“So what is the problem?”
Audrey shook her head even though he couldn’t see her, “I don’t want to get hurt or hurt him.”
“Then don’t. Just do you, be happy. Live your life, Audrey. You’ve put yourself on hold for Fallon, and this is your chance. I know that I am being forward and hard on you but I believe that Tate is a good guy and I owe you for being there for Fallon when I wasn’t. You deserve to be happy and we both know Levi wasn’t that person to do that for you. But Tate could be.”
Lucas was completely right. She had to stop this, she had to do something for herself, worry about the future later. She had hid behind Fallon when she came home, help her live her life but never worried about herself. This was her chance, it was time to live life for Audrey and hope like hell that later it would work out. She had to put herself out there. She had to live in the now, just like Tate did.
“You’re right, Lucas.”
“I know am, now stop being difficult and call Tate off me.”
“Call him off?”
“Yeah, he ripped into me for not being a man! He said I don’t know how to take care of the women I love, now set that kid straight before I break his face. I take damn good care of Fallon and you.”
Audrey heart started being in overtime. Tate would move mountains for her, and she was pushing him away. She had to stop this madness.
“You do, my amazing brother-in-law.”
“Good, now do you want me to go after Levi for what he did to you? Apparently, Tate thinks I need to break his knee caps with a hockey stick.”
Audrey giggled, “No, we are done, honestly.”
“Thank God, Fallon will love that,” he chuckled, “Alright, so we are good?”
“We are great, Lucas, thank you.”
“Alright, AA, I do love you a lot, you know.”
Audrey’s grin grew as her heart expanded. Lucas really was the best brother-in-law in the world, “I love you, more.”
Hanging up her phone, Audrey couldn’t help but think Lucas knew what he was doing when he called. He as a very persistent man, and when he wanted something done, it usually happened. Thankfully it didn’t take long for Audrey to see reason, or maybe it was bound to happen anyway. She had laid in bed all morning, crying and missing Tate, so did Lucas’ phone call really matter that much? If he asked, she would say yes, but really, she didn’t think it had. She wasn’t a stupid girl, stubborn maybe, but not stupid. She wanted her Happily Ever After, and she had the chance to have it so she had to try. She had told him about her defective body and he still wanted her. Didn’t that mean something? Even if he didn’t understand now what it meant, she couldn’t risk her Happily Ever After if he was still willing to fight for them. If she dealt with the idiocy of Levi for eight months with the hope of something more, why wouldn’t she try with Tate?
Audrey looked over at the time and hated that she had waited so long to realize her mistake. She wanted to call Tate but she knew he was training with the goalie coaches. He had told her his whole schedule for the day when they laid in each other’s arms the night before. God, she missed his big, long, sexy strong arms and even though she knew he had a big day, she couldn’t let him go through it, thinking she didn’t want what he wanted to give her. Finding the phone number she needed and after pressing send, Audrey waiting until someone answered.
When they did, she said, “Yes, I need a ticket for the first flight out to Anaheim.”
Chapter 17
Audrey hadn’t even packed a bag. She threw a few necessities in her big Coach bag, and ran out the door, since her plane took off in an hour. After a long, anxiety filled four hour flight, and another twenty minute ride to the hotel where the Assassins were staying, Audrey finally stood in front of Tate’s door. She had been standing there for what seemed like hours, but she was sure it was only a couple of minutes. When she left Nashville, she was so confident that to come to Tate had been the right choice, but now, she was nervous and scared.
Her body was shaking with fear and her brain was telling her to run, and that it was okay to live in her condo with just her shoes and cupcakes. Who needed a man who made her toes curl and who got her to laugh out loud for no reason? Not her, no. Audrey only needed Fallon and Aiden, and now she had Lucas and Piper. Yes, they were all living life and being happy, but they would have time for her. They loved her.
As soon as she thought it, she knew that wasn’t right. She wanted her own life with someone important to her.
With Tate.
Reaching out, Audrey knocked on the door. When he didn’t answer, she did it again, and again. Until finally, she realized that he wasn’t there.
Shit.
Letting her forehead fall against the door, Audrey pulled her phone out and checked the time. He had said he would be there by now. Where was he? She was about to click on his number when a text suddenly popped up.
I would ask if it would creep you out if I were standing behind you watching you stand outside my door but the real question is why are you here?
As the air rushed from her lungs, Audrey turned quickly to find him watching her. He was leaning against the hall wall, his phone in one hand and a bag of food in the other. He was wearing his warm-up gear: a pair of shorts, and a thin tee. His hair was slicked back like he had just taken a shower. His eyes were sad. But they still electrified her and stirred all kinds of emotions deep inside her. She needed him. No more games, no more doubt, this was it. This was who she had been searching for. She was jumping in and not looking back. She was going to put her heart out there for him to take and she was going to trust him with it.
She wasn't going to fight it anymore.
Dropping her purse to the floor, she made her way to him. His eyes never left hers. Without uttering a word, she wrapped her arms around his waist, and snuggled her nose into his chest. She heard his bag of food fall to the floor, before his arms came around her, holding her tightly to him, causing Audrey’s heart skipped a beat.
He still wanted her.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered into his chest, “I was an idiot.”
Tate let out a long breath. “Look at me, Audrey,” he whispered back.
She looked up; his face only inches away as his eyes locked with hers. His hands came up to cup her face as he shook her head, “Is this real?”
She nodded quickly, “Yes.”
“I have been a wreck, and I yelled at Lucas. Please don’t do this to me again.”
“I won’t,” she gasped, her hands coming up over his
.
He nodded. “You know, I was just fine before you came along,” he said, a small smile tugging at his lips.
Audrey nodded in agreement, “I could say the same about you.”
When his eyes dropped to her lips, he said, “Kiss me, love.”
Audrey wanted to cry out in relief. Closing her eyes, she went up on her tippy toes, pressing her lips to his. Like always, her heart felt like it was about to burst from her chest. There was no way her breathing was normal, and she wanted nothing more than to devour this man. Parting, they stared into each other’s eyes before Audrey closed the gap once more, taking his mouth with hers. She voraciously ate at his mouth: biting, teasing with her teeth as his fingers bit into her hips.
Audrey’s hands left his, slowly going up his biceps before wrapping around his neck. Tate slowly stood to full height, lifting Audrey off the ground as his arms held her tight to his body. She could feel every single inch of him, and she couldn’t wait to feel him inside her. Wanting to be closer, she wrapped her legs around his middle causing her hotness to press hard against his. Tate let out a low, masculine hiss, biting down on her bottom lip as he carried her to his room.
Only grabbing her purse, Tate kicked the door shut, before he turned her, pressing her back against the closed door as he fiercely took over the kiss. His tongue explored her mouth, playing with hers as his fingers tangled in her hair, bringing him closer to her. He couldn’t be close enough, though. She wanted to climb the height of him and live around his neck. She never wanted him to stop. As his hands explored her thighs and ass, hers went along his neck. Her thumbs moved along the coarse hair of his jaw as her lips did numbers against his. Pulling away, he looked deep into her eyes, his lip between his teeth as he rubbed himself against her.
“I’ve needed your pants off for the past ten minutes,” he said, his hands going into the back of her slacks.