Fred turned and took a step past his wife onto the altar so he could stand above the others. “Kristen, I want you to know we appreciate everything you’ve done and continue to do. We’re indebted. If you need anything, anything at all that we haven’t spoken about today, just say the word.”
He paused long enough to gather his thoughts and prepare a brief speech on the fly. “Ladies and gentlemen, what exists outside our valley is a vast unknown—a hostile environment. In the meeting we had before the last attack, I mentioned our utilization of area defense strategy. The mountains on either side of us and a limited means of egress have blessed us with a naturally built fortress. Once outside the fortress, it’s anyone’s guess. It could be just fine out there, or it could be a war zone. Since we don’t know what to expect, we should expect the worst.”
He paused, clearing his throat. “I don’t have a problem leading this mission, Rangers always lead the way. But I cannot do it alone. That being said, I also realize fully that we’re a trifle shorthanded. While some can go along, others must remain behind. There’s a great deal to be done before winter rolls around, and we cannot afford to compromise our security, either. Whether your decision is to remain here or join the expedition, all judgment will be cast aside.”
Fred took a long pause, rubbed his chin, and rocked on his heels, his tone gaining depth. “Anyone choosing to go along needs to get his game face on. You must be capable of being alert and staying alert—vigilant, your head on a constant swivel. You must be able to think clearly and shoot accurately and be ready at all times to ward off threats using lethal force. Since society went to shit, nature has been in a state of imbalance—we’ve all seen the effects of it. It is highly likely there are individuals out there who will not hesitate to kill us just for the sake of doing so…and we must be ready to kill them. With that in mind, and with present circumstances actively weighing on our hearts and souls, can I see a show of hands for volunteers?”
Bo Brady was the first to shoot his hand into the air. His brother Ricky, standing to his side, did the same seconds later.
Fred acknowledged them both. “Very good, Bo. And, Ricky, welcome aboard. I hear two Bradys are usually better than one.”
“What would you say to three?” Bo asked. “I’m going to bring my son, Austin, along. I think it’s high time he became a man. This might be a decent way of making that happen.”
“You might be right about that, Bo,” Fred said. “It’ll be good to have you both come along. Just keep an eye on your boy. You and I can discuss details about the side trip to your food cache after the meeting. Does Austin have a gun?”
“He’s got his hunting rifle—a Marlin 30-30 lever action.”
Fred sneered. “He can leave that at home. I’ll loan him a battle rifle and spare mags from my stock.”
Norman’s hand popped up, and everyone standing near him couldn’t believe it. His son Lee had been the first to fall ill and, as such, was now suffering the worst symptoms.
Fred turned to him, looking uncertain. “Norman? Are you sure?”
Norman shrugged despondently. “I have to do something. If I stay here, all I’m going to do is stand around with my thumb up my ass and worry about Lee like some helpless idiot, and that’s not going to do him any good. So, yeah. I’m going. Let’s do this.”
“Understood. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry Lee is not well, but I appreciate your coming along.” He paused. “Well, that’s five of us so far. Gotta be honest, that’s more than I expected, given the lack of available personnel. I can take the lead in a Humvee with one of you riding shotgun. I’ll just need a trailer to hook up to it.”
“We have a trailer you can use, Fred,” Michelle said. “I’m sure it’s in good condition. It’s been locked in the shed since the day we moved in.”
Norman nudged her. “I remember that day.” He gestured to Fred. “I have a trailer we can use too, Fred, and a matching truck to pull it. The windshield is kind of messed up, but the tires are good, the radiator is patched up, and Junior must’ve put a tune on it because it runs like a scalded dog.”
“Gas it up, Norman,” Fred said. “And get every gas can you have down to the Perrys’ and fill those, too. We’re going to have to carry all our gas with us for the trip out and back. I imagine most service stations haven’t been open in a while.”
Fred paused and took one final look around the church’s interior. “Time is of the essence. We’ll depart for the good doctor’s residence early tomorrow morning, gentlemen. So take the rest of the day to pack your things and say your goodbyes. Before we head out, though, let me make one final call for volunteers.”
Fred’s stare fell upon Christian, who was busy chatting with Grace, not paying attention to much else. He’d half-expected him to volunteer and couldn’t imagine what reasons Christian had for not doing so.
Sending along a look of disappointment, Fred turned his attention to the other capable younger man in the church, Norman’s son John, seeing that he was off in another world, obviously preoccupied with his brother’s condition. He couldn’t blame John for not volunteering.
Fred excused the group, hopped down from the altar, grabbed his things, and started in the direction of the door behind the others. Along the way, he stopped dead in his tracks upon seeing something he did not expect to see, out of the corner of his eye.
Fred turned his head right and a look of sudden surprise befell him. “Your dad…would be proud of you,” he said, choking out the words overtop a rare spurt of emotion.
To his right, Lauren remained in the pews. Her expression was bold, her chin was held high, and she stood proudly and tranquil, and her hand was raised in the air.
Chapter 16
The cabin
Trout Run Valley
Tuesday, November 30th. Present day
Lauren heard her mother calling to her the instant she had descended the stairs at St. James Church. She pretended not to hear her and even increased her footspeed in an attempt to evade her, even though Lauren knew eventually Michelle would find a way to confront her about what had happened, regardless of what method she chose to delay it.
When Lauren made it to the gate that stood guard at their driveway, she climbed up one side and effortlessly hurdled it, leaving the others behind her to unfasten the lock and chain, open it, and walk through. All the while, Michelle called for her to please stop.
Not wanting the situation to escalate any more than it already had, Lauren finally decided to respond. “I already know everything you want to say to me, Mom. I’ve heard it all before.”
“Young lady, I don’t give a damn what you know or what you think you know. Stop walking away from me right now!” exclaimed Michelle, a stern edge in her voice.
Lauren reluctantly stopped and turned to see her mother approaching with Grace, Christian, and John in tow. When the others grew closer, John continued walking and snapped his fingers at Christian, motioning for him to do the same. After a second’s hesitation, and feeling a bit out of place, he chose to follow John. Grace remained.
Michelle’s chest was pounding, but not because she was angry. “So I see you’ve made up your mind once again to put yourself in harm’s way. Any reason why you chose not to discuss it with me prior?”
Lauren turned her head away. “I didn’t know I was going until a few minutes ago.”
“I see,” Michelle said, followed by a moment of unease. “So you’re testing yourself again, I guess. And you’re sure about this? You’re certain you want to go along?”
“I wouldn’t have raised my hand otherwise, Mom.”
Michelle sighed loudly, looking to the sky in desperation. “L, honey, I know we’ve talked about this. I know you’ve asked me to be more understanding and give you space to grow and be this…person you’re becoming, and I know I told you I would. But this plan to leave—to leave the valley and head off to parts unknown…” Michelle trailed off into a sigh. “I know it’s important and it has to be done,
but do you really believe it’s your place to do it?”
“Mom, if not me, then who else?” Lauren shot back. “If there was a safer option available to us, it would be on the table already. You know what’s going on here and what we’re up against. Everyone is scared. You saw the looks on the faces in the church just now, same as me. We’re running out of time. There are lives on the line now—of people we love and care about—and the longer we wait, the greater the chance is of losing them—and I don’t want to lose anyone else. There aren’t many of us left who can do something like this, but I can, Mom. I can do this.”
“Goddammit, toots,” Michelle respired, trying hard to swallow her pride. “Why in the hell do you have to be so much like your father?” She turned to Grace. “Well, speak up, older sister. You’re never one to keep quiet. What’s your opinion on all this?”
Grace huffed. “Are you kidding? Lauren is amazing and I’m friggin’ proud of her,” she said, grinning. “Have you seen her lately? She’s right. She can do this, and most others either can’t or won’t. If she wants to go, if she believes this is what she’s supposed to do, then I do too. She’s my sister, and I’m going to back her play. I think it’s…heroic.”
Smiling, Lauren went to Grace and hugged her tightly around the neck. “Thank you.”
“Hey, easy there, muscles,” Grace squeaked, her eyes wide. “My frailty…remember?”
“Okay. Obviously, the forces of nature are against me here.” Michelle pointed at Lauren. “Fine. For the record, I’m not okay with this, but go. Do this, and not a second after it’s done, you get your scrawny ass back here, understand? Not a single second after. Is that clear, young lady?”
Lauren nodded.
“I want to hear the words, L. I know that’s not easy for you, but letting you go isn’t exactly easy for me. Meet me halfway.”
Lauren grinned. “Yes, ma’am. I’ll try to get home before curfew.”
Michelle reached for Lauren and pulled her in for a hug as Grace strolled away.
“Mom, I think you should know, after we leave, there’s a good chance everyone here will be looking to you.”
Michelle pulled back, her brow furrowed in thought. “What? What do you mean, looking to me?”
Lauren tilted her head and fluttered her lashes. “Fred has always been in charge around here. He’s good at taking control and playing community leader. Only, he’ll be gone. Kim is a good coordinator, and she can operate a household just fine, but she’s no leader. Everyone else is either occupied or preoccupied, if you get my meaning. Someone needs to step up. And I think it has to be you.”
“You think so, huh?”
“Who else is it going to be? Old man Brady?” Lauren laughed.
Michelle grinned, put her weight on one foot and folded her arms. “Shit. I never gave much thought to that happening. I guess I never saw myself as a leader, or leading anyone—especially now.”
Lauren smiled. “I have.”
Chapter 17
Once in her bedroom, Lauren went to her closet and pulled out a pair of mountaineering pants along with a thermal-weight shirt made of merino wool and tossed them to her bed to change into. She placed a base-layer top and bottom there too, along with several other garments, and began digging around on her closet floor, searching for gear she might want to take with her on the trip.
Lauren unfastened the pants she had on and let them slip down her legs until they met the floor. She was about halfway through the motion of removing her feet from her pant legs when she realized John had followed her into her room and had been standing behind her the whole time.
Startled, Lauren knelt and stumbled while trying to pull her pants up and meekly cover herself at the same time. She looked mortified. “John? What the hell?”
John stared at her, almost covetously at first, but his expression converted to one of distinct embarrassment. He backed up several paces toward the closed bedroom door and held up a hand, blushing. “Shit. I’m sorry, Lauren. I’m really sorry.”
Lauren eyeballed him. She could feel John’s stare as his pupils fell upon her. An eccentrically modest person to a fault, all through her adolescence and even now as a young adult, she had maintained a distance between herself and John regarding anything that even resembled intimacy.
John had never understood why she had done so or why she even felt that way, but he loved her, respected her, and was therefore acceptant of the expanse. Until recently.
“Have you been standing there the whole time?” Lauren asked, deliberating as to how much he had been witness to.
John nodded. “Yeah. I followed you in. I’m surprised you didn’t hear me.”
“You normally don’t follow me into my room, John.”
“And you don’t normally leave to go on dangerous food and medical expeditions, Lauren.”
She smiled awkwardly. “I guess not. So…am I to infer that you got yourself an eyeful a minute ago?”
John nodded again shamefully. “Do you want me to leave?”
Lauren closed her eyes and shook her head. “No. I don’t want you to leave. But you can at least turn around.”
“Right,” John said, and put his forehead to the door.
Lauren rose and slid her pants back to her waist, secured them, and let John know she was decent. “If you followed me into my room, you must have wanted something—important.”
John nodded. “Yeah. But it was something I needed, not something I wanted. And ‘was’ is past tense, implying I don’t need it anymore. And—”
Lauren interrupted while looking upon him thoughtfully. “Whoa, John. Hold up. What’s going on with you? What is it that you need so badly?”
“Are you kidding? You, Lauren. I need you. All of you. But, for the moment, I’ll settle…for your ear.”
She took a few steps closer to him. “Okay. You have them both now.”
“I’m sorry. It’s just that so much is happening around here, and it’s happening so fast.”
“John, there are better ways of getting my attention. You don’t have to sneak up on me when I’m halfway naked.”
“I know that, and I’m sorry,” John said. “I didn’t know you were going to drop trou like that right in front of me. The only reason I followed you is because I wanted your undivided attention for a minute—away from everyone else. That’s all.”
Lauren inched closer to him. “Okay. The door is shut and there’s no one else here. You have it.”
John smiled grimly and hesitated. “I knew you were going to raise your hand today.”
“You did? It’s funny you knew, because I didn’t.”
“Do you know why I didn’t raise mine?”
Lauren nodded and reached forward, placing her fingertips to John’s cheek. “I have a pretty good theory as to why.”
John hung his head. “I can’t leave him, Lauren. For the life of me, I can’t leave my brother.”
“Then don’t.”
“When I saw Dad volunteer, I got this horrible feeling inside,” John said. “It was the last thing I expected to see, until you raised your hand. It broke my heart. I don’t want you out there by yourself. I know you can handle it, but I still feel like it’s my job to be the man and stand by and protect you if you need me.” He paused. “With Dad hell-bent on going, I don’t want Lee to be alone—I can’t do that to him. So now I’m torn between you and my own brother. I have to choose him, Lauren. And I don’t want you to hate me for it.”
“John, I know,” Lauren purred. “I’m not mad at you at all—for anything, and I could never hate you. Lee is my brother, too. I love the big galoot. He’s always treated me like gold—like the little sister he never had.”
“Yeah. I remember,” John said, nearly smiling. “God—I can’t believe you’re leaving tomorrow. This is all so crazy, you know? I have so many things I want to say to you right now. I just don’t know if it would be the right time to say them.”
“Then say them anyway.”
John nodded and wavered. He shoved his hands into his front pockets and leaned backward into the door. “I don’t want you to go. I mean, I really don’t want you to go. But since you are, and there’s nothing I can do to change that, just do me a favor—keep both eyes open the whole time, okay? Do whatever you have to in order to stay safe and make it back to us, and to me. I don’t care what it is. Worry about it after you come home.”
Lauren’s eyes glistened. “I will, John. I promise.”
John put his ear to the door to listen for eavesdroppers. Then he approached Lauren closely, placing both his hands on her shoulders. “You’re leaving me tomorrow, and I’m not sure when you’ll return. And…I have always tolerated this…shield you’ve put up between us, not knowing what your reasons have been and never asking you to explain yourself. But you’re mine, and my heart won’t let me be any other way right now. Bearing all that in mind, I have one small request.”
Lauren’s lips parted. “Okay…”
“Stay with me. Tonight. In my room,” John muttered, turning his head to the side bashfully. “And not for the reasons that are probably popping into your head right now. I just want to hold you, or maybe even have you hold me. I want to feel close to you. It’s something I’ve wanted for a long time…and I worry sometimes, I might not ever get the chance.”
“John,” Lauren began softly, leaning forward, her adoration for him evident in her posture. She reached for one of his hands. “I don’t think your request is…unreasonable. But are you even listening to yourself? For the past few minutes, you’ve been speaking to me like tonight is our last night together on earth.”
John nodded and looked upon her with a foreboding gaze. “Right. But what if it is?”
Lauren and John exited her bedroom several minutes after their talk ended, and walked together down the hallway, stopping at the edge of the kitchen.
We Won't Go Quietly_A Family's Struggle to Survive in a World Devolved_Book Three of the What's Left of My World Series Page 23