by Raine, H. J.
“You, treating an aged Cabernet Sauvignon like Kool-Aid?” Curiosity tinged Shea’s thoughtful tone. “What the hell’s got youso rattled?”
“Absolutely nothing, I hope,” Lucian answered, and when John reappeared and curtailed Shea’s next question, Lucian jumped at the distraction. He danced John through hoops: specials, drinks, options, appetizers, specifics. Lucian ignored what he would swear was amusement glinting in John’s dark eyes, and he didn’t dare look at Shea.
“Very good, sirs,” John said when every possible detail had been managed within an inch of its life. The waiter nodded, pivoted, and fled. Lucian watched John go, glanced at the gift hidden under his jacket on the seat, and tucked his hair behind his ears. With the nervous gesture, he felt the intent of Shea’s study shift, and he wasn’t surprised when arms crossed Shea’s chest and a challenge seemed to rise between themlike an invisible gauntlet. Shea knew some game was afoot, and the man’s patience was wearingthin.
“May I ask how work is going?” Lucian asked softly, denying the voice in his mind screaming that he was being a coward. “Office construction and site preparation, isn’t it?”
“It’s been good. Real good. Boys know what we’re doin’, so it goes fast, and I don’t get no crap questions.” Shea’s answer sounded routine, almost tired, with a fiery lick of defensive anger fueling the words. “I like it. Like seeing things I’ve built standing strong.”
Lucian briefly closed his eyes, savoring Shea’s way of speaking. Shea possessed an intelligence quotient that would make Hawking wince but spoke like a kid from a Gehnbatton street gang. Lucian had never been able to disguise himself like Shea, and in that instant Lucian realized with startling pain how much he’d missed beingaround and listeningto the man.
“I’m thrilled you’ve found something you enjoy so much,”Luciansaid withmore honestythanusual.
“You are?” Shea leaned forward, eyes widening in surprise. “Shit. Youare. Goddamnit.”
“We’re disappointed?” Lucian asked mildly, trying to catch up and loving that he needed to catch up. God, he’d missed that, too.
Shea snorted. “You just fuckin’ blew my wildassed guess out ofthe water.”
“I did?” Lucian asked, but he saw it, now, and understood why Shea was so defensive. The corporate mastermind going fromexecutive track to heavy hauling mule. Lucian, politician, mover, shaker, and friend of the Ollivander family, out of touch for years until he had a moment of pity to spare his old friend who obviously needed-
“Yeah,” Shea barked. “If you’re not here ta offer me a goddamned proper job, then why the fuck are we here? And don’t give me that Christmas bullshit, and if you ask me one more question without giving up some
-”
Lucian snatched the gift and placed it center stage between them. Shea’s mouth shut with an audible snap. There was a protracted pause, and Lucian watched Shea go from nervously irritated to hesitantly curious in less thantwo seconds.
“What the hellis that?” Shea asked, poking the box withone finger.
“A flesh-eating zombie virus tied with a bow,” Lucian said with a straight face. Clark would have been proud.
Shea’s single laugh was loud. “Then you open it.” He grinned, lopsided and entirelydisarming.
Lucian nearly melted in his seat, and didn’t trust his voice. He nudged the boxcloser to his friend.
“Well, if I start eatin’ brains, you’re first.” Shea pulled the present to himbefore stripping off the ribbon and ripping open the paper. He frowned at the leather box inside, tipping open the heavy, hinged lid. Shea stared at Cartier’s answer to the current wide-banded men’s accessorycraze like he wished it reallywas a vial of zombie virus. “It’s a watch.” Shea’s gaze flicked to Lucian’s. “Why?”
Lucianpetted the tablecloth. “Do youremember the Raquelle Christmas?”
“Ofcourse.”Shea’s usuallyroughtones turned soft, and he looked awayfromLucian, downat the watch.
“I do, too. Often. But probably not for the reasons youthink.”
“Really?” Shea prompted, an odd edge to his quiet voice that Lucian had to disregard or else he’d never get throughthis speech.
“I was lost after he killed himself,” Lucian said, matter-of-fact but rusty. “I really thought that I could save him. I’d never encountered anything that some combinationofbrains and power couldn’t change, ifnot fix, and I’d never gotten to love anyone like that. Somebody I met who didn’t know anything I present to the public eye. Somebodywho saw me.”
“Yeah...”Shea said.
Lucian liked the reverent quality to Shea’s voice. It helped himcontinue. “And so, when I couldn’t save the cross-dressing druggie call boy,” Lucian huffed a laugh. “I came home for Christmas and found you.”
“You sounded pretty rough when you called me that night.”Knuckles went white around the box.
Lucian ran fingers through his hair. “If by ‘rough’ you mean ‘drowning in cheap whiskey’, then, yes. And you came to meet me in that bar, listened to me whine about some other man--”
“Yeah,” Shea coughed. “Shocked the fuck out of me.”
“Oh?” Lucian asked, hoping for some insight from Shea’s side of that evening. Hoping that maybe Shea could forgive Lucian for putting Raquelle, a fascination that turned into a project inspiring possessive love, in front of Shea: the man whose very existence fueled Lucian’s resolve that he could have saved Raquelle in the first place.
“Hell, yeah. I thought you were halfway to engaged to PromQueen Lacey, fucking Jennifer on the side, and Katy, Jessica, and Sidney were all confiding in sweet, gay Shea, that they were all sure they were gonna hang perfect Prince Luke’s heart ontheir mantle.”
“For the record, I only fucked Lacey once,” Lucian said, letting Shea continue to be the only human alive who was allowed to call him‘Luke’ without reprimand. “In those days, I never saw the point in fucking anyone more thanthat.”
Shea rolled his eyes. “Right. So finding out you switch-hit was kinda memorable, but I don’t remember no watchbein’ involved.”
“Patience.” Lucian waved one hand in a dismissive gesture and ignored Shea’s glower. “As I was saying, youlistened, got me ina cab, and took me home.”
“Yeah, and...?” Shea prompted when Lucian stopped yet againto tryto work saliva into his mouth.
“And we never talked about the rest because you assumed I was too drunk to remember, and I let you assume.”
Shea froze, and Lucian almost reached for him but stopped in the nick of time. When Shea moved again, it was to take another drink ofhis whiskey. “What do you remember?”he asked the ice inhis glass.
“You getting me into bed,” Lucian answered, the confession easier if it somehow answered Shea’s question or put worry to rest. “Lying there and wanting to cry. You turning off the light, starting to go, and me grabbing your armto get you to stay.” Lucian schooled his voice to keep from stuttering. “You held me. Told me it was okay, and I cried for the first time since I was three and my father beat me bloody every day for two weeks because I had the nerve to weep at my mother’s funeral.” Lucian met Shea’s pained eyes. “So, most of it, I think.”
“Sounds like.” The pad of Shea’s thumb rubbed against the edge of his glass, and Lucian wondered if Shea still had the worry stone he used to keep in his pocket to stroke when he was nervous or thinking. Lucian waited for Shea to sort everything out, happy that the wine had dimmed the anxiety to mere resignation.
Finally, Shea sighed and asked, “And I’ve been all right with what happened, but what does that have to do witha freakin’ expensive watch?”
Terror welled in Lucian’s core. This was the part in the movie where the impossible, but oddly likable ass, revealed his hand, and Lucian wished he’d stuck to the part of the puppeteer villain, instead. He watched the snow pile up outside, thought of sledding and snow angels and the way Shea’s arms felt around him. So safe and warm and right. “You used to wear a cheap digi
tal watch. Loved it because it was practically indestructible. Before you got into my bed that night, you took it off, and you forgot it the next day.” Lucian ground his teeth. “I still have it. Thought that since I’m obviously not honorable enough to return it, I should...” He gestured to the gift and continued, quickly. “And there are others, actually. That’s the fourth watch I’ve bought for you over the last ten years and haven’t given you. If you’d like the entire collection, do let me know. One as penance for every Christmas I’ve not called, perhaps.”
Lucian could almost hear the machinations of Shea’s brain. When the silence stretched too long, Lucian stopped watching weather and watched Shea gnaw his lip and look at the watch, instead. “And I didn’t get anything for you,” Shea quipped, but his brows drew together, a sign that he was puzzled, curious, and most likely had worked out the entire situation, but wanted somebody else to do the confirmation. “So this is a belated thank you for that night?”
“No,” Lucian answered, hesitantly. “It’s a proposal.” And he regretted the choice of word when the color drained out ofShea’s face.
“A what?”
“Offer,” Lucian amended. “It’s an offer. To date you. Me.” Lucian rolled his eyes. “I’d like to ask you out, Shea. Am, in fact, asking... you... out...” Shea looked positively green, and Lucian wondered if he could find the enterprisingsoulwho’d managed to make time reversal possible, pay the poor fool an obscene amount of cash, and use the technology to erase this night.
“Me? Why me?” Shea gaped, and Lucian’s hope surged like a willful puppy. He had expected shock. Well, he’d accounted for all possibilities from shock to a left hook, but he could handle anything so long as it wasn’t outright disgust.
“Because--”Lucianbegan.
“Youcan’t meanme,”Shea pressed. “Wasn’t there a picture ofyouinthe paper withthe heiress to that bigassed fortune inoilor coalor something?”
“It’s oil, and it’s for show. Woman couldn’t suck a straw correctly, but even if she could, it wouldn’t matter, as I’m far more interested in the economist turned construction worker.” Lucian let himselfsweep a hungry gaze over Shea. If the resistance had to do with Lucian’s appreciation for both genders or the relationships he kept for appearances, he could easily put those lines of protest to rest. “Very interested. For years, in fact, and in stark denial as I was quite sure he’d tellme to go drownina lake. But ifthat’s not quite the case, and you need data to support my opinion, I can give you a host of reasons as to why you, sweet Shea.”
Shea’s expression softened when Lucian used the old childhood insult as a termof endearment. He didn’t protest it, though, and Lucian made note. “But... but... but...” Shea shook his head, and Lucian glared daggers at John, who hovered on the sidelines with the food that was so extraneous as to be laughable.
“I was happy to throw you in the lake at the camp whenwe were ten, remember that?”
“I do,”Luciansaid dryly. “There were eels.”
“Christ,” Shea cursed, evidently not hearing Lucian. He shoved fingers through his hair. “We’ve camped together, did freakin’ overnights, and I was hungover and sick in your room in college more than once and you tucked me in like some toddler. I thought that the Raquelle thing was just you dabblin’ on my side of the fence, and I never saw youlook back.”
Lucianwinced. “I know, myapolo--”
“That’s not...” Shea overrode Lucian, and something obviously occurred to him, made him panic. “Shit, Luke, data? What do youmeandata?”
“I know without a doubt that should youwant me, it wouldn’t be for money or power or fame,” Lucian said, calm in the wake of Shea’s storm and ticking items off ofhis fingers. “You know the best and worst ofme, still agreed to see me, and maybe even call me a friend when I’m not in earshot. You know the difficulties in dating me and, more importantly, have the intelligence to understand the consequences.” Lucian paused for Shea’s snort. “You challenge me, you make me laugh, and while I’m particular and difficult in many aspects, I assure you I make an excellent partner.” Lucian dropped a dose of coy into his expression. “Loyal, experienced, considerate, and I enjoy spoiling worthy people rotten if they let me. And last but certainly not least, I’ve always been attracted to you, am, I admit, even more so now, and we’d be fucking spectacular in bed once we got a few kinks out of the way. So. Yes.” Lucian had to admit he enjoyed seeing Shea stunned into inarticulate silence. “You.”
Shea’s mouth opened and closed soundlessly. “Uh. Right.”
Lucian smiled, and this time it didn’t hurt. “And though I know your opinion on, what is it? ‘Expensive trinkets?’ I do hope you take the watch without me havingto give it to yousixtimes.”
Shea grunted, unimpressed, and pursed his lips in absorption and calculation. “Okay. So, being the kinda guy that likes ta see how high the building is before he jumps off, what do youhave planned ifI sayyes?”
“There’s a fundraiser this Friday for the children’s hospital at the Palace,” Lucian said, still wishing that the convention center would succumb to marketing pressures and change its name, despite looking like what the current title implied. “I thought we could go together. Lots of people, so if you didn’t like being there with me, you could simply appear to be there without me. It’d look good and please your family, who are on the guest list. It’d give you a taste of how being with me in the public eye could go, and...” Lucian pushed aside plates and table adornments so he could reach across and touch Shea’s hand with a fingertip. “Havingyouthere would make it easier onme, evenifit was onlyas a friend.”
“Easier on you, and my family’s invited.” Shea bowed his head untilhis hand covered his eyes. “Katy’ll give me such hell. I bet it’s ballgowns and tuxes, not cocktaildresses and sport jackets, huh?”
“Unfortunately for you, but lucky for the rest of us who get to see youspitshined.”
Shea groaned. “What happens if a damned construction grunt doesn’t survive the event? Will you just buryme quietlyinthe courtyard?”
“If you have a preference for dirt, I’m sure I could accommodate, though I’m equally sure I could find more palatable places to buryyou.”
“What, under a hillofcaviar?”
“Not quite what I had in mind,” Lucian said, shovingaside images ofnaked skin.
“Oh?” Shea looked daunted but ended up chuckling. “Well, Mom’ll be pleased to see me inna damned penguin suit. So just the one date before deciding anything more? Or are you...” Shea frowned. “You said... I’m afraid I might not be...” Shea halted again. “Maybe a step at a time?”
Lucian started to sit back, but something about the odd look in Shea’s eyes stopped him. Instead, he covered Shea’s hand with his own, and like always, the simple touch that Lucian so rarely allowed himself with anyone made his skin tingle and spark. Shea started, but didn’t pull away, and the eager dog hope spawned a new litter. “I don’t expect it to be easy for you,” Lucian said. “And if you end up not looking at me as anything more than the straight asshole who used to goad you into spelling bees and trying for valedictorian, I’llunderstand. Forgive me, but after allthese years and seeingClark, I had to... ask.”
Shea looked down at their hands. “Clark happy, huh? God help us. All right, I’ll try this, and see how it goes.”
“Youwill?”Lucianasked, quiet and unintentional. It was an incredible thing, really, to know with startling clarity exactly how much he’d expected Shea to deny him.
“I will,” Shea answered and looked up at Lucian and then away. “If I were sane, I’d get the fuck out of here before dessert. But you asking me for anything...” Shea shook his head. “Yougot myattention.”
“Oh, good,” Lucian said, dragging fingertips along the shape of Shea’s knuckles. Shea let him do it, and Lucian found his wit buried beneath a pile of relief. “So glad I chose to phrase the imperial command in the formofa question.”
Shea snorted with laughter. “Yes. Yes y
ou did, Prince Luke.”
Lucian started to comment on the insulting high school nickname that managed to sound appealing from Shea’s mouth, started to say something about how good it was to hear familiar inflection in Shea’s voice, but got distracted when Shea turned his hand over and clasped Lucian’s fingers.
“And despite your slick presentation of your socalled data, it’s still gonna take a while for me to believe,” Shea said. “You interested in me, and not just as a target marked ‘Hit Here to WinPrize’.”
“You’re more than some carnival spoil, Shea,” Lucian said, perhaps too emphatically because Shea flinched. Lucian took Shea’s hand in both of his, squeezed, and he thought about his words. If Shea could be honest in nervousness, then Lucian could, too. “It was only ‘slick’because I’ve practiced it in my head for years. Onlyseemed easybecause youdidn’t see me sitting here for the last two hours.” Lucian toyed with a scar and wanted to kiss it.
“Two hours with this in your lap.” Shea pulled the watch toward himself and closed the lid, evidently in acceptance of the gift and its attachments. “That kind of wait’d make anyone hungry. Where is that waiter anyway?”
“Practicing his cowering rabbit routine,” Lucian said, finding John and signaling for service. He was dizzy with adrenaline and amazement but made himself let go ofShea’s hand else he be unable to for the rest of dinner. “And yes. I’mstarving.”
Shea looked at Lucian and gave a slow nod. “I guess I’mprettydamned hungry, too.”
“Thenbyallmeans,”Luciansaid. “Let’s begin.”
Chapter 2
The phone started ringing at an obscene hour the next morning, and the fifthcallirritated Lucianenoughto shove aside the covers. His head was pounding, and his mouth was full of cat litter flavored cotton. It couldn’t possibly be past seven, and he spat a curse when he saw the familiar, amiable smile in the photo ID on the cellphone’s screen.