by Lucy King
‘What are you doing here?’
A muscle in his jaw began to pound. ‘You know perfectly well.’
Bella felt a shiver scuttle down her spine. ‘I’m afraid I have no idea what you mean,’ she said, resisting the urge to retreat and slam the door. Because what would that achieve? A closed door to the ladies’ loos was hardly an effective deterrent against a man like him.
Will pushed himself off the wall, stalking towards her until he stood in front of her like a dark immovable mountain, his jaw tight and his eyes glittering. ‘Two weeks?’
Oh. Her chin jutted up. ‘What about it?’
‘How about this?’ he said, pulling her to one side to let a woman go into the bathroom, planting his hands on the wall either side of her head and wiping out her oxygen. ‘Were you or were you not going out with Sam when we had sex on the back seat of my car?’
In an effort to ignore the way the skin of her arms burned from where he’d touched her, the memories ricocheting around her head, and that gorgeous mouth, a mere inch or two from hers, Bella channelled indignation. ‘I can’t believe you want to discuss this now.’
‘What else would we be likely to discuss?’ he said, sounding as if he were gritting his teeth. ‘The weather?’
Hmm. Perhaps he did have a point. And it was pretty obvious he wasn’t planning on letting her go until she explained.
For a second Bella dithered. It was so tempting to shoot him a killer look, say yes, duck beneath one arm and sashay off. That would certainly put an end to everything, wouldn’t it? But then what would that make her?
Yet if she said no, she’d have to explain why she and Sam had been all over each other all evening, and that would be one hell of an awkward conversation.
Will’s eyes bored into hers as he waited for an answer.
Stifling a sigh, Bella gave in. For all her faults she wasn’t a coward. And did she really want Will thinking she was an unfaithful trollop who went round having quickies with any man who came her way? She did not. So awkward conversation it would have to be.
Forcing herself to look him in the eye, Bella straightened her spine. ‘No,’ she said calmly. ‘I wasn’t.’
Some of the tension eased from his body and he drew back a little. ‘Are you going out with him now?’
‘No,’ said Bella, feeling as if she could breathe again. ‘We only met this evening.’
‘So why have you spent the last twenty minutes letting me think you were?’
She shrugged and studied the huge abstract painting on the wall behind him. ‘It seemed like a good idea at the time.’
He frowned. ‘Why?’
‘I’m not sure.’
‘Well, work it out,’ he snapped.
Bella jumped and her hackles shot up. Did he really imagine that she was going to divulge the jealousy, the frustration, the longing that had made her ask Sam to pretend to be involved with her? Or the constant pummelling disappointment that with his issues with commitment Will would never be the right man for her? No chance.
‘Anyone would think you’re jealous,’ she said, deciding that attack was the best way to deal with that particular problem, and giving him a mocking little smile.
For a second there was silence. Then Will sprang back and raked his hands through his hair, his eyes blazing. ‘Of course I’m bloody jealous,’ he said, so fiercely that Bella gasped. ‘Two days ago you were writhing on top of me and now you’re out for dinner the evening we were supposed to be going out wrapped around another man.’
‘You’re not exactly sitting at home pining,’ she shot back, unable to keep an odd trace of hurt out of her voice at the thought of the beautiful Rosie and where she’d had her hand.
‘Now who’s the one sounding jealous?’
‘I’m not jealous,’ she snapped. ‘Just pointing out the facts.’
Will let out a sharp hollow laugh. ‘Oh, give up the games, Bella.’
Bella bristled and battled back a wince of shame because shame had no place in this conversation. ‘What games? If anyone’s playing games, it’s you, Will. You started this when you decided to come over and say hello and then embarked on a two-tiered conversation.’
‘No. You started this when you cancelled our date for no apparent reason.’
‘I had my reasons,’ she said, glaring at him.
‘Which are?’
Bella set her jaw. ‘Never mind.’
Will swore beneath his breath. ‘Don’t you think you owe me an explanation?’
She folded her arms over her chest and stuck her chin up. ‘No.’
Will took a step back and clenched his fists as if to stop himself from shaking her and for a moment they bristled at each other in silence.
The door opened and Bella jumped. The woman who’d gone in earlier came out, glanced at each of them in turn, avid curiosity spread all over her face, and then darted off as if worried she might catch some of the fraught tension swirling around the place.
The interruption lasted only a matter of seconds, but it was enough to break the stand-off.
‘You know,’ said Will with a sigh as he frowned and rubbed a hand along his jaw, ‘I never play games.’
Bella’s mouth went dry and she swallowed. ‘Neither do I,’ she said, her voice sounding annoyingly husky. ‘I’ve always thought them a complete waste of time.’
‘Me too.’ He glanced at her. ‘Yet here we are, playing games with each other like it’s a matter of life and death. Why do you think that is?’
Her breath caught in her throat. ‘I don’t know.’
He took a step towards her. ‘Yes, you do.’
She did. And wasn’t that exactly the trouble?
Feeling all the energy drain out of her, Bella sighed and ran her hands through her hair. ‘Look, Will,’ she said wearily, ‘I’m sorry for making you think that there was more to Sam and me than there is. I’m sorry your evening’s been ruined. But I have a headache and I want to go home.’
Will paused and frowned. ‘OK. Then I’ll take you. We can talk on the way there.’
Oh, no. Not a chance. ‘No.’ She put up a hand and gave him a quick smile. ‘Thank you. But I’ll be fine. We don’t have anything left to talk about and, besides, you have a date who, I’m sure, is looking forward to being taken the circuitous route home.’
Will tensed. ‘What the hell does that mean?’ he said in a dangerously low voice.
God. Why couldn’t she have kept her mouth shut and just left? Bella’s heart began to thump. His eyes burned into her, demanding an explanation all over again and she realised that any closure that they might have been working towards had evaporated.
With her mouth firing off without her consent, she needed to leave before she said or did something she really might regret. ‘Oh, nothing,’ she said making a move to march off and then having to halt when Will blocked her.
‘Right,’ he said sardonically.
Bella’s hackles shot up. ‘Do you mind … ?’
‘Yes, I do.’
Her stomach knotted with nerves and alarm and a million other things she wasn’t sure she wanted to acknowledge. ‘So what are you planning to do?’ she said, looking up at him and fixing a cool little smile to cover up all the unsettling emotions spinning around inside her. ‘Use your superior physical strength to get what you want?’
Will went still and a muscle started ticcing in his jaw and Bella’s skin prickled with panic. God. What was she doing, baiting him like this? Was she nuts?
‘I wouldn’t have to,’ he said, taking a step towards her and slowly and deliberately lowering his gaze to her mouth.
Her throat as dry as if she’d swallowed every grain of sand in the Sahara, Bella swallowed hard and raced through her options. Telling him what she’d meant would be mortifying, yes, but a damn sight safer than being on the receiving end of one of Will’s spine-tingling kisses, which was undoubtedly what he was talking about.
‘OK,’ she said with an indifferent shrug. ‘Fine. All I meant was that, f
or all I know, you might make a habit of ravishing women on the back seat of your car.’
For a second there was silence. Will visibly reeled and as he went pale Bella experienced a brief pang of remorse.
Which vaporised the instant his reaction elbowed its way to the surface.
‘What the hell?’ he roared, his eyes glittering and his hands clenching. ‘God, you push too far, Bella.’
Bella lifted her chin and, with as little control over her behaviour as a train careering off the rails, pushed again. ‘I can’t help but notice you haven’t addressed my point.’
‘I can’t believe you have to ask.’
‘I can’t believe you haven’t answered.’
Will hauled himself under control as if remembering where they were. ‘Of course I don’t make a habit of ravishing women on the back seat of my car,’ he ground out. ‘You were the first. And, frankly, I hope, the last. Because every bloody time I go anywhere in it, it all comes rushing back to me and I have to get Bob to pull over and let me out. Which would be fine if I was in any state to walk.’ His eyes blazed. ‘But the memory of you, of what we did, makes walking pretty bloody impossible. You think I’d want to repeat that?’
‘Oh.’ Bella blinked, too shell-shocked by what he’d just said to know how to respond. ‘Well. Good.’
‘Good? Good? It isn’t good. It’s hell on earth. I can’t stop thinking about you. You’re in here,’ he growled, jabbing at his temple, ‘all the damn time. And you’ve been so bloody glacial and aloof and distant this evening, it’s been driving me nuts.’
‘Oh,’ she said again. ‘Sorry.’
‘Are you?’ he grated. ‘Really?’ He closed the distance between them and her heart began to thunder. ‘Then make it up to me,’ he muttered, planting one hand on the wall beside her head, pinning her to the wall with his hips and slamming his mouth down on hers.
Bella didn’t have a chance to protest even if she’d wanted to. Which she didn’t. Because actually she wasn’t sorry in the slightest. She was stunned. Thrilled. And desperately relieved.
Her lips parted automatically beneath the hot hard pressure of his mouth and his tongue thrust between them. As her arms wound around his neck her mind went blank and she turned into one mass of quivering sensation.
Teeth clashing, his tongue tangled with hers, stroking and caressing her while his hand slid from the wall to her head and buried itself in her hair. Her heart hammered, desire flooded through her and she moaned.
‘I knew it,’ he muttered, breaking off the kiss to slide his mouth along her jaw and then down the side of her neck. ‘So much heat. So much better than all that horrible iciness.’
Bella dropped her head back and arched against him, revelling in the feel of all that muscle, all that hardness and strength plastered against her.
His mouth found hers again and his hand slid up her side to curve round and cup her breast. Bella groaned, pressed herself closer and rubbed herself against him, so desperate with the need to feel him deep inside her that she didn’t give a damn about where they were.
‘God, how could you even think about cancelling our date when there’s this?’ he muttered against her mouth.
And just like that, Bella froze, his words obliterating the desire consuming her as effectively as any bucket of cold water.
Oh, God. What was she doing? Clinging to him like a limpet, wrapping herself around him like an octopus and kissing him as if he were the last man alive.
More to the point, what was she thinking? What had happened to the assurances she’d made to herself that she was no longer interested in Mr Right Now? And wasn’t she supposed to have moved on? Ha. If she hadn’t just had such a big wake-up call, the furthest she’d have moved on would have been to the nearest private horizontal surface.
Desire flooded back at the thought of getting naked and horizontal with Will, and Bella swallowed as her body began to tremble. Lord, it would be so easy to give in. To sink against him and say yes to the demands his body, and hers, were making. So easy to let him take her home and make love to her all night. And so easy to embark on a torrid nostrings affair.
But that wasn’t what she wanted, was it?
‘Bella?’
Summoning up a strength she hadn’t known she possessed, she put a hand on his chest. ‘Stop,’ she said, her voice sounding breathy and husky as if she’d just tumbled out of bed. ‘We have to stop.’
Will lifted his head and took a step back, his eyes dark and glazed. ‘You’re right,’ he said, dragging his hands through his hair and nodding briefly. ‘This isn’t the time, and it really isn’t the place.’
‘No,’ she said, more firmly this time. ‘I mean we can’t do this.’
He stilled. Looked at her in disbelief. ‘Are you serious?’
‘Deadly.’
‘I see.’ His brows snapped together. ‘And why exactly can’t we do this?
‘It’s complicated.’
‘What’s complicated about it?’ he said, all traces of passion evaporating. ‘I want you and you want me. What could be simpler?’
‘I wish it was simple,’ she said, her heart sighing with longing while her body yelled that it was precisely that simple.
Will thrust his hands into his pockets and let out a deep sigh of frustration. ‘I don’t understand.’
Of course he didn’t, she thought with some despair. Why would he be aware of the turmoil churning around inside her? Or the battle that raged between her body and her head? The battle that if she wasn’t really careful her head could well end up losing. She barely understood it herself.
But there was one thing she did understand. And that was that Will had been right. She did owe him an explanation. More than that, after the stupid games she’d tried to pretend she hadn’t been playing, she owed him the truth.
*
Will watched Bella pull her shoulders back and set her jaw and felt like giving himself a good kicking. Why, oh, why had he had to say anything? If he’d kept his mouth glued to hers instead of foolishly using it to express what he was thinking, he was pretty sure that he and Bella would now be ensconced in the cupboard he’d spotted earlier, and satisfying the craving that he knew clawed away at both of them.
Instead he had a stomach-sinking feeling that the only thing going to be satisfied this evening was his curiosity.
Dredging up enough control to rein in the desire still rocketing around inside him Will frowned and braced himself for whatever was coming.
‘Tell me, Will,’ she said, her face so earnest that he was tempted to haul her back into his arms and set about switching it back to flushed and dazed, ‘where do you see this going?’
He tensed. Oh, yes. There went his stomach, plunging south like an anchor through water. With an ease born out of habit, he arranged his features into a mask of neutrality that didn’t show even a hint of the alarm that scurried through him. ‘See what going?’ he said evenly.
‘This.’ She waved a hand between them. ‘Us.’
Will frowned. ‘We’ve only just met.’
‘So?’
‘So there isn’t an us.’ They’d never be an ‘us’. He didn’t do ‘us’es.
She shrugged. ‘Humour me.’
Will stifled a sigh. ‘I don’t see the point. Whatever there might have been barely started. You’ve seen to that.’
She tilted her head. Considered his reply. Then bit her lip and nodded. ‘I see. Well, I guess that’s my answer. As I suspected.’
As she suspected? What was this? Another one of her games? ‘Why does it have to be going anywhere anyway?’ he said, frustration and bewilderment churning around inside him. ‘What’s wrong with just having incredible sex?’
‘I’m not interested in incredible sex.’
‘You were on Thursday.’
Her jaw tightened and she closed her eyes for a brief second. ‘That was then.’
‘So what’s changed?’
‘We want different things.’
‘How on earth do you have any idea about what I want?’ he said, struggling to keep a grip on his temper.
‘When I got home on Thursday night, I looked you up online. That’s how I know where you live and what you do. It’s also how I know what you want.’
Will felt like hitting something hard. Like the wall. Because, God, this conversation was infuriating. He shoved his hands in his pockets. ‘What I want with regards to what?’
‘Sex and relationships. You’re keen on the former. Not so much on the latter.’
Oh. Well. That much was true. His aversion to commitment was as well documented as the variety of women that had appeared on his arm over the years. It appeared he’d been right when he’d suspected she’d found out something about him she didn’t like. ‘And what do you want?’ As if he couldn’t guess.
‘Both.’ The tilt of her chin became more defiant. ‘Actually, everything.’
He frowned. ‘Everything?’
‘I’m not interested in an affair,’ she said simply. ‘I’ve been there, done that. I’m nearly thirty-five and I now want more. I want a relationship. Commitment. Security. Ultimately marriage and a family. So I can’t really afford to waste time on something, or someone, that won’t at least give me the chance of having that.’
Oh, crap. Will’s stomach sank even further. So his initial impression of her hadn’t been wrong after all. He might have managed to convince himself that she was the sort of woman who threw inhibition to the wind and herself at random men, but he’d been deluding himself. If he hadn’t been so annoyed he’d have been relieved that his judgement hadn’t gone off the rails as he’d feared.
‘What’s so great about commitment?’ he said.
‘It’s what I want, what I’ve always wanted.’
‘Why?’
‘It’ll give me the security I never had. The family and the roots I never had.’ She took a deep breath. ‘Look, my mother had something of a racy past. She was kind of wild. Mixed with the wrong crowd. When I was twelve she went to jail.’
He stared at her chin sticking up, daring him to be discouraged. But did she really think having a mother who went to jail would deter him? She should hear about some of his ancestors. ‘What for?’