"I'm honored." I swiveled back and forth and said nothing.
And neither did he.
But he was watching me. Those dark brown eyes were fixed on me. Not on my breasts or my hips. He was watching my face. Searching my eyes.
I decided to count to thirty and if he didn't ask me what was wrong, then I'd tell him. But it would be so much better if he'd ask. He always knew if something was wrong, and he always cared enough to ask. Always.
I got only to seven.
"What's wrong with you?" he asked.
Ah… I felt the tension ease from my shoulders. Why did it feel so good to have him care? "I broke up with Max."
Van made some sort of weird choking noise, his dark eyes wide in fake astonishment behind his wire-rimmed glasses. "You broke up with Max? Astounding. How could that be?"
I shoved him. "This time it's for real."
He pulled open his desk drawer and pulled out a pack of peanut M&Ms. "Like last time?"
"No, not like last time." Oh, how sweet was that? That was my favorite candy, and he'd used up his stash the last time I'd broken up with Max. He'd actually refilled?
"Then like the time before? Because that was for real, too." He tore open the bag and poured some M&M's into his palm.
I frowned. "Did I say it was for real each of those times?"
"Yep." Van grabbed my wrist and turned my hand so it was palm up. "Here." He poured the M&Ms into my hand.
"I'm on a diet." I could smell the chocolate already, and my mouth started to water. "I don't eat junk food anymore." I popped a yellow one into my mouth. Oh… "This tastes amazing." Probably because it was contraband.
Van gave me an assessing look as he leaned back in his chair and put his black boots up on the desk. "So, why is it real this time with Max?"
"Because it is." I licked the chocolate off my fingers and sighed with satisfaction. So bad for my hips, but so good. "Do you have any more?"
He pulled the drawer open with his toe. "Help yourself."
Wow. What a selection. Not just the peanut M&Ms he kept for me. It was like a Halloween fiesta in there. "I had no idea you ate this stuff."
"Only at night to keep me awake. I don't do coffee."
Wish I could have a body like Van's and eat chocolate every night. As it was, I'd have to eat rice cakes and water for the rest of the week if I wanted to fit into my dress for my sister's engagement party this weekend. Though, I suppose if my job was a security guard who had to be fit enough to chase down and tackle intruders, I might spend a little more time in the gym. At the moment, my relationship with the gym consisted of a friendly wave every morning on the way to work. That was pretty typical, at least during the summer when all the interns were keeping me busy.
I helped myself to a caramel/chocolate combo.
"So, about Max?" Van prompted.
"Right." I copied Van's posture, crossing my ankles to make sure I didn't flash anyone. "He's not the one for me."
Van lifted a brow, but he didn't look particularly blown away by my announcement. "According to who?"
"Me." Okay, so I was having a major déjà vu. Couldn't be because I'd had this exact conversation with Van every time I'd broken up with Max, could it? "Sure, he's handsome, rich, successful, and totally in love with me, but that's not enough."
He grinned. "Not that you have high standards or anything."
I frowned, not liking the fact that he'd just spoken the words that had been gnawing at me since I'd broken up with Max. Was I being crazy to want more? He had everything a girl could want. So, what was wrong with me? I crushed the candy wrapper in my hand. "Have you ever been totally in love with someone? So in love that you'd step in front of a truck to save them?"
He shook his head. "Only if the truck was parked."
"See? That's how I feel about Max!" Well, maybe not parked. I might venture out for five miles an hour, but nothing more. "That's not true love, and I want true love. I want to love someone so much that I'd be willing to step in front of a speeding truck to save him. I'm never going to find it if I keep hanging out with Max." Even as I said it, I got a little misty-eyed. Max was my best friend, my soulmate. Why didn't he pass the truck test? I cleared my throat. "So, anyway, I wanted to ask you if you would please not let him upstairs if he comes to see me."
Van looked at me sharply, and I knew I had his attention. "You're serious?"
"Yeah." Oh, God. This wasn't easy.
"You've never told me to do that before."
"See? I said this was for real." I was smart enough to know that if Max showed up with food when I was tired and crabby...well, my resistance would be down.
"Are you going to change your mind?" Van studied me intently. "If I stop him, and then he calls you on his cell phone from the lobby, are you going to change your mind and invite him up? I'm happy to run interference if you mean it, but I'm not interested in making waves for no reason. It makes me lose professional credibility."
I frowned. Would I change my mind? No. For Van's sake, I couldn't. Excellent. Added motivation not to succumb. "I promise I won't change my mind. Your reputation is safe with me."
He eyed me for a while, then finally nodded. "I'll do it."
"Thanks."
He nodded, and we fell silent again. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence. It was a silence born because the two people barely knew each other, and yet didn't feel the need to dig further. He knew nothing about my life, other than what I complained to him about—which was mostly Max and some general miseries about my job. And I knew nothing about him, other than that he worked night security at my building and didn't drink coffee.
It was the perfect relationship for both of us. I watched him chat with another attorney who was leaving, noticing how he was able to make almost anyone smile. There was something about Van that was special. I couldn't believe more people didn't see it. Handsome. Nice. Funny.
He caught me watching him, and winked, making me laugh. He turned to me as the attorney headed off. "So, now that you're officially single, are you going to start dating again?"
For a split second, I had a sudden image in my head of Van asking me out, and my stomach did a little somersault. Then, just as quickly, I reminded myself that the romantic window between us had long closed, which was good.
Boyfriends went away. Real friends didn't. And I didn't want to risk losing Van.
His eyebrows went up. "No to dating? Or yes?"
Again, my stomach did a little somersault, and I felt my cheeks heat up. Suddenly horrified that he'd realize I was thinking non-platonic thoughts about him, I coughed and turned away. I did not want to mess up our friendship by crossing the invisible line that we had between us. "No," I lied. "I'm not going to date anyone for a while. I need to find my feet again."
As I said it, I snuck a peek at his face just in case an expression of abject disappointment flashed across his face. But it didn't. He just looked thoughtful as he studied me. "Makes sense," he said.
"Yep." Silence fell again, but this time, I felt a little awkward, like I'd suddenly put tension between us by thinking about him as a guy, not just my friend. I decided it was time to leave. "So, I guess I'll head out," I finally said.
"Want me to call a cab?"
I shook my head as I stood up. "The T is still running. I'll just hop it and head home. Have a great night. I was really glad you were here tonight."
His eyebrows went up, and I realized I might have sounded a little too over the top. Dang it. I was a mess. "I need to go. I'll see you."
I quickly grabbed my bag and ducked around the desk to leave. I wasn't in the mood to have to make chitchat with a cab driver, but it was impossible for me to take a cab without chatting. If I sat there in silence, I felt like some pretentious bitch who was being escorted around. Someone like my family, who I disowned whenever possible. Why couldn't they have regular jobs, like Van? Then they'd probably be proud of me. Or maybe not. Well, we'll never know, will we? Because they aren't regular people.
/>
"Shannon. Take one for the road."
I turned just in time to catch another pack of M&Ms from Van. "Thanks."
He winked. "Cheer up."
"Why?"
The corner of his mouth curled up. "Because you have a great body that women would pay a lot of money for."
My cheeks flamed. "Shut up." But I grinned all the way to the corner. I was so lucky to have Van in my life, and I was not going to screw it up by thinking of him as a man.
Really. I wasn't.
Chapter Four
"Shannon? Do you have a minute?"
Do I look like I have a minute? A partner had just spilled red wine all over the imported carpet in the conference room. Otto was due there in one minute to meet the interns. I did not have time.
But I looked up from the floor, where I was on my knees frantically scrubbing, and I smiled at the twenty-three-year-old law student named Jessamee Bouchillion from Harvard. "Yes, Jessamee?"
"You know how yesterday I volunteered for the office that's on the bottom floor of the firm?"
I sat back on my heels and wiped my wrist over my forehead, trying to wipe off the sheen of sweat. "Yes, you said you wanted the biggest available office, so we agreed that office was a good choice for you."
"Well, I changed my mind."
"That you want a big office?" Movement caught my eye, and I looked sharply down the hall. Not Otto. I still had time.
"No, that I'll accept an office on that floor." Jessamee set her hands on her hips, showing off her fitted gray pencil skirt and silk blouse. "It's way off in the corner. Away from all the action."
I started to scrub again. "That's the only big office available at the moment. If you want a large one, you have to have your office there." It was unusual for an intern to get a big office, but as Jessamee had noted, this one was pretty isolated and therefore not particularly popular.
Jessamee folded her arms across her chest. "I don't care. I want an office that's next to a partner in corporate, not two floors down in bankruptcy. How am I going to impress the corporate partners if I'm off in bankruptcy?"
My knees were starting to throb. In case anyone was wondering, there wasn't a great deal of padding beneath the oriental carpet in this conference room. "If you do good work and attend all the events, you'll meet everyone who has a stake in your future." That's me. All about giving basic advice to these kids who were younger than me and making more in their eight-week internship than I do practically all year.
Not that I was immature enough to keep track of those kinds of things. Or maybe I was. Just a little bit.
Jessamee scowled. "It's not enough. My professor told me office location was key. I need to be constantly visible so they can't forget me. I want an office in corporate, next to a partner."
Was the red stain fading? I thought it was. I prayed it was. "I understand, but I've already filled the open office in corporate."
Her beady little eyes narrowed. "How would your boss like it if he found out you weren't being nice to the interns? Isn't it your job to take care of us?"
She was threatening me? I couldn't believe it. I sat back on my heels and stared at her. "Jessamee—"
"I heard the managing partner is addressing us for lunch. Shall I tell him that I'm thinking of moving to another firm for the summer since this firm doesn't take care of its interns?"
Dear God. What was wrong with this girl? It was just an office.
But as I looked at that perfect nose and the flawless bun, I knew exactly what her problem was. She was like my parents. Tormented by the need to be the best, to accomplish the most, to be approved of by all. And suddenly, I didn't resent her. I just felt bad for her. As much as I hated being dismissed by my family, I'd rather be scrubbing red wine stains out of a carpet than dealing with the stress of being like Jessamee or my parents. "I'll see what I can find," I said gently. "I'll get back to you in a couple days, okay?"
Jessamee immediately flashed me a brilliant smile. "Thanks so much, Shannon. I knew you'd help me." She sauntered off to chit chat with more important people, while I resumed my floor-scrubbing.
"No problem." Now that I thought about it, I was pretty sure that the office next to Otto was open. It was small, and had no windows, so it was usually unoccupied. I thought of Jessamee, and I knew it was exactly what she'd want. Who knew? Maybe having to deal with Otto every day would disabuse her of the notion that being an attorney at a big firm was what she wanted to do. I smiled as I picked up my towel. I should have Jessamee split a secretary with Otto. It would be fun to see Jessamee fight for time with Otto. Who knew? Maybe the old bulldog would finally be dethroned.
I felt a hand grab my arm. "Shannon! Get up! Otto's on his way down the hall."
One of the few lawyers that I could actually see myself being friends with pulled me to my feet. Hildy Miller, a junior partner who was the nicest woman ever, grabbed the towel from my hand. "You better go. I'll pull a chair over this stain."
"Bless you." I handed over the towel, brushed the carpet fuzz off my navy skirt, tried to tuck some stray hairs back into my bun, and took a quick glance around the room.
Twenty-six interns present. Good.
Seventeen attorneys present. Not so good. Where was everyone else? I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Isabel. "Isabel. It's Shannon. Can you do a quick round-up and get some more attorneys in here? Otto's due here any minute and he's not going to be happy with the ratio." There went my stomach getting all queasy again. Why was I so afraid of him? The worst he could do was fire me. Actually no. The worst he could do would be to totally humiliate me in front of a roomful of strangers, and then let me keep my job, so I had to face everyone daily for the rest of my life. "And can you make it fast?"
Isabel hesitated. "I'm in the middle of typing up a document for Blaine."
"Isabel! Please!" Oh, don't let this happen to me now.
"Well, he said it was urgent..."
"Put him on the phone. Now." I wasn't heartless enough to make Isabel fight my fights, but this had gone too far.
"This is Blaine."
So Pretentious Bastard even had a sexy phone voice. Maybe he got all his connections by doing phone sex for rich women, then using blackmail to get their business. Excellent. Made me feel much better to think of Blaine as having a secret that would destroy him professionally. Piss me off and I'd tell the world. "Blaine. It's Shannon. I need Isabel for ten minutes. Give her your permission."
"Why?"
Un-friggin-believable. She'd been my secretary for three years, Blaine had been at the firm for three days, and I had to explain my requests to him? Like I wasn't sophisticated enough to assess on my own whether I was having a crisis? Then I recalled Emma's suggestions. Make nice, and maybe he'll be nice back. I refrained from educating him as to exactly how many swear words I knew, and said, very calmly, "Blaine. I'm having a crisis. Otto is due in this conference room any minute and he expects at least thirty attorneys to be entertaining the interns. I have seventeen. I need fourteen more in about one minute. So, give me a break and let Isabel help me."
"Thirteen."
"What?"
"Seventeen plus thirteen is thirty. Fourteen would be thirty-one."
And thank you for that. Exactly what I needed. Yet another person trying to make me feel like an insignificant peon.
So I hung up.
"Ms. McCormick?" The scratchy voice of the managing partner made my stomach turn.
Otto. Oh, God, I was going to throw up. Swallowing hard, I turned toward the door and smiled. "Mr. Nelson. So nice to see you."
"Where are the rest of the attorneys?"
I would hate Blaine Hampton for the rest of my life.
"They're on their way."
Otto looked at his watch. "It's three minutes past noon."
"Right." And of course, it was my fault the attorneys weren't here. Like I could control them. "Don't worry, sir. They'll be here."
He didn't look pleased. "I'm going back to my office
. Call me when you're ready."
And then he left.
I decided to quit. Right then and there. If I didn't, I was going to have a bleeding ulcer by the time I was twenty-five, which was less than two months away.
"I'll go find some folks," Hildy said. "You take care of the interns."
No need. I'm going to quit. "That would be awesome." Dammit. I wasn't a quitter. I was going to keep torturing myself, wasn't I? Why couldn't I just admit defeat and leave?
Hildy squeezed my arm, gave me a wink, then slipped out of the room. Did I mention that Hildy was the nicest woman ever? I couldn't imagine why she was a lawyer. A successful one too, from what I heard. A woman. And nice. And successful. And a partner at Miller & Shaw. Unbelievable.
I could almost hear my mother whispering, "That could be you, Shannon."
Ack! Shut up, Mom! I'm in the middle of a crisis!
Trying not to think of Otto sitting at his desk, tapping his fingers, watching the clock, I circulated with the interns, made sure everyone was doing all right, praying Blaine had released Isabel to help me. My heart was racing, and sweat was trickling down my back as I took notes about a computer that wasn't working, a conflict with the Red Sox game next Tuesday night, and a complaint that an attorney had told the intern she had to miss Friday night's event to work.
The interns were never supposed to miss the social events for work. That kind of thing came after they were hired. Obviously, I needed to do a little reminding.
I saw three attorneys walk into the room, and then I saw Isabel hurry by. Isabel! Thank God!
Unless she was picking up dry cleaning for Blaine. That would probably be more important than me avoiding public humiliation by Otto, huh?
I made another circuit of the room, during which seven more attorneys came in.
That had to be good enough, right? I mean, almost eight minutes had gone by since Otto left. It was almost twelve-fifteen, and he was supposed to present at noon. Which was worse? Making him wait longer, or inviting him back when his audience was still too small?
Hildy walked in with the entire family law group, which put me over my limit.
One More Kiss (A Too Many Men Romantic Comedy / Chick Lit Novel) Page 3