Noah didn't show up at eight o'clock. Or eight thirty. Or even nine thirty. On the plus side, that let me get through all my major work, which meant that when he finally got there, I could leave with him. Heh heh heh (suggestive laughter).
On the negative side, I became a little obsessive. I called Van four times just to make sure the phone lines hadn't broken, and I'd left Noah standing in the lobby waiting for me to unlock the door. I called Van once more and then hung up when he answered, feeling stupid. Then it occurred to me that Van probably had caller ID for all the lines in the building, and I realized that the hang-up route wasn't the optimal choice to hide my neurosis.
I finally called Dave at nine-thirty and filled him in on the Noah thing. He was shocked and ordered me to go out with him on Wednesday night to give him the scoop. I told him to invite Phoebe too so I could do the double duty. And when he asked about Emma, I have to admit, I got a little immature and told him that only my true friends were invited on Wednesday.
I'd have to do a little explaining on that one come Wednesday.
And then Yvonne got home, so he had to get off the phone. Which left me alone in my office with no Noah, and no one to call.
And no Noah.
Should I wait longer? Or would that be giving him too much power, leading him to believe it would be okay for him to be two hours late for our dates and I'd still be there for him? Yuck.. I hated that.
So I should leave? But what if he had a legit excuse and would be so bummed that I wasn't there when he arrived that he would decide I was cold, heartless and unforgiving, so he'd end the relationship before it began?
I frowned, then called Van.
He was laughing when he answered the phone. "I think you have it bad for this guy."
See? I knew he had caller ID. "I have a dating etiquette question for you."
"Go ahead."
"He's almost two hours late, and I'm finished with my work. Should I stay and give him a little more time in case he had some crisis? Or should I leave and risk disappointing him when he appears?"
"Leave."
I frowned. "Why?" It was so aggravating that men didn't like to go into all the touchy-feely conversations. I needed to flesh out the pros and cons. This was a very big decision.
"Because he's late."
"But what if he has an excuse?"
Van made some noise of exasperation. "Does he own a cell phone?"
"Yeah."
"There you go."
I scowled and blacked out Noah's name with a marker. No more doodling of his name on my desk blotter. "So I should leave?"
"No matter how many times you ask me, I'm not going to tell you to wait for him."
"But don't you think leaving is a little harsh this early in the relationship?"
"Don't you think being two hours late for a date is a little harsh this early in the relationship?"
I rolled my eyes. "Maybe."
Van sighed. "Tell you what. I get off at ten tonight, so let's go out for a drink."
My stomach jumped. "Are you asking me on a date?" I would cry if he was. There was no way I could handle that right now. I was heart-deep in Noah. Wasn't I?
He laughed. "No way. You have too much going on in your personal life for me to keep up. Besides, I still like Max. Nice guy. He brought me a six-pack tonight. Granted, he was trying to bribe me, but still."
My heart caught. "Max was there tonight?" So, Noah was standing me up and Max had come by? Max, who I'd treated so badly, was still there for me?
"Yeah." He paused. "I didn't tell him about Noah."
Oh, God. Can you imagine if he found out about Noah? That would totally hurt him.
"Shannon."
"What?" My life was a mess. A disaster.
"Be down here in ten minutes. I'll buy you a drink."
"Fine." I slammed down the phone and folded my arms across my chest. Noah would never jerk me over. There had to be an explanation.
Maybe he didn't have my work number or my cell number. Maybe he'd been trying to reach me. I grabbed my cell phone and scrolled through to Noah's cell, put in there long ago as a family friend. I hesitated with my finger hovering over the send button, then finally hit it and waited.
It rang six times and then went to voicemail. Which meant he could have looked at his phone, seen I was calling and chosen not to answer.
I scowled and tossed my phone on the desk. Bastard.
My phone rang and it was Van. I glanced at the clock as I picked up. "I still have seven minutes. I'm coming."
"This is front desk security calling for Ms. McCormick. I have a visitor for her. Could you please check and see if she's still in?" Van's voice was all formal and proper, and he was clearly trying to give me an out.
"Is it Max?"
"No."
My heart skipped. "Noah?"
"So, Ms. McCormick has already left?"
I closed my eyes. If it was anyone but Noah, I'd follow Van's lead and play the game. But this was Noah. The one guy who I could date where no games would be involved. "No, Van. I'm still here. Send him up."
He was quiet for a long moment, and I wondered if he'd even do as I asked. Finally, he muttered his acquiescence and hung up the phone.
I slammed my chair back and smashed it into the wall as I leapt to my feet and raced to the bathroom. Checked makeup, teeth, breath test, hair tweak, then I sauntered coolly into the reception area just as Noah was stepping off the elevator.
He was wearing athletic shorts, a tee shirt, and a Red Sox hat. He looked like a total jock, and his quads were flexing with each step. My stomach did a triple flip as I recalled my intimate knowledge of his legs, and I was very glad I hadn't listened to Van. I opened the door and smiled. "Hi."
He stepped inside and didn't touch me. "Sorry I'm late."
I frowned. Granted, there was no need for major public displays of affection, but a quick kiss? A touch of my arm? There was barely anyone around and that would have been fine. "Let's go to my office."
He nodded and followed me down the hall. I caught a whiff of yummy cologne, but it was only a whiff. The predominating odor was that of a sweaty guy. Couldn't he at least have showered?
Then I frowned. That's why he was late? Because he was working out? I slanted a look at him, and he gave me a half smile.
My stomach tightened. There was a weird vibe going on here. I led the way into my office and retreated behind my desk before he could go for me. Not sure why, but something in the air was telling me I needed protection.
Noah shut the door and leaned against it. "I'm really sorry I'm late."
"Were you late?" I made a big show of looking at my clock. "I didn't even notice." I blinked. "Wow, it's ten o'clock already?"
I wasn't sure whether he bought it, but it made me feel better. I mean, it might be Noah, the love of my life, but a girl still needed to have a little pride, you know?
"I was playing squash with Ray."
"My brother?"
He nodded.
Huh. "Did you tell him about us?"
Noah sort of did this evasive thing with his eyes. "I tested the waters."
Tested the waters? What kind of declaration of love was that? "And?"
He shook his head. "No go."
I blinked. "No go? What does that mean?"
"Ray was really against it."
"So what? Since when does he have any say in who you or I date?" I felt a roiling anger inside of me. No go? That was how he dumped me? It's a no go?
"He's my best friend and your family means more to me than my own family does. He said everyone in your family would consider it a betrayal if I took advantage of you."
"I'm twenty-four!"
He shrugged. "He made sense. Shannon, I had a great time on Saturday night, I really did. And I'd be willing to give this a shot, but I can't risk losing your entire family if it doesn't work out."
I was too shocked to respond. Totally dismissed.
"So, um, I guess that's it. Sorry
again." He gave me a smile. "Maybe sometime it'll work out, you know? I just think we need to back way off. There's too much at stake."
I found my voice. "We've already crossed the line, Noah. You can't pretend it didn't happen. As long as we've already gone this far, why don't we see it through?"
"Because we haven't hurt anyone in your family yet. If we keep going, that's going to happen."
So, as long as it's only me you hurt, that's fine?
"So, are you okay?" he asked, peering at me.
Oh, yeah, fine. The guy I've adored my whole life had used me and then dumped me? I couldn't even fathom it. Of anyone in the world who I never thought I'd have to worry about being used by, it was Noah. As he said, too much at risk. "Decision made?"
He nodded. "I'm really sorry. I wasn't thinking on Saturday. It should never have happened."
He smiled again and then walked out.
I'm such a loser.
Slut.
Idiot.
Pathetic useless creature.
Slut.
Fool.
Slut.
I can't believe this!
I couldn't even cry. I felt like there was a two-thousand-pound weight crushing my body. I couldn't move. Couldn't respond. Couldn't think.
My phone rang. I looked down. It was Van. No doubt he'd seen Noah leave without me.
I was completely incapable of facing Van. He knew everything. He alone would know how stupid I was, that I was a slut, that I was a fool.
My forehead dropped to the desk and I closed my eyes, squeezing back the tears that had decided to make an appearance. Oh, God. I felt so empty. So betrayed. So nothing.
A light tap sounded on my door, and I dove under my desk. No way was I here.
The door opened and shut.
Just when I was about to climb back out from under the desk, I heard footsteps. Crap! Someone was in my office! I crunched in a little ball under my desk and prayed that whoever it was wouldn't find me back here. There would be absolutely no explanation that would save my pride.
Feet came into view behind my desk. Black polished shoes and black trousers. A man. Noah? Had he come back?
No, he'd been wearing sneakers.
Blaine. The bastard. It was as if he could sniff out my vulnerabilities.
My visitor sat down in my chair.
Or maybe it was a spy that Otto had sent to search my files for evidence that would justify firing me.
Then he pushed the chair back and Van's face appeared. "Hi."
Chapter Twenty-Four
I stared at him.
He didn't smile. "Are you stuck?"
I swallowed. "I dropped something. Something important."
He nodded, as if he completely believed me. "How about that drink?"
What? Wasn't he going to ask me about the fiasco with Noah? About why I was hiding under my desk with tears still streaming down my face? Miss Puffy Eyes, herself. "I'm not really in the mood for a drink."
He lifted a brow. "It seems to me you might be very much in the mood for a drink." He was still leaning down, chatting with me as if it were perfectly normal for him to be sitting at my desk chatting at me while I was huddled under my desk.
"Chocolate."
He nodded. "I think we can work that out." He held out his hand. "Come on."
I declined his hand. I wasn't really in the mood for being dependent on guys. He shrugged and slid my chair back so I could climb out. Let's just say, the effort of extricating myself from under the desk without exposing my thong to Van wouldn't exactly have qualified me for the Lady Grace award of the year.
Obviously, the short, tight skirt I'd worn to impress Noah had failed miserably. I stood up, and realized I was between Van's knees. He lifted his hand and sort of touched my hip, then dropped his hand and sort of looked over my shoulder. I glanced down to find my skirt had hiked up over my left hip, giving Van a very clear view of certain private things. And he hadn't even looked. I couldn't decide whether to love him for it, or to sit down and cry even harder.
In the end, I just fixed my skirt and stepped around my desk. "So, chocolate?"
He stood up, and I realized he wasn't wearing his security shirt anymore. He was wearing a cotton sport shirt that was pale yellow. Too bad. I liked him better in uniform. In his sports shirt, he could pass for a lawyer, and I really hated lawyers tonight. "I know a great dessert place. My treat," he said.
He picked up my purse and handed it to me. "You okay with walking or you want to take a Lyft? It's about a twenty-minute walk."
"Walking is fine." Maybe being out in the fresh air would wipe the red out of my eyes.
Van said nothing, but he opened my door for me and followed me out.
Neither of us said anything for the first ten minutes. Why was I here with him? All I wanted to do was go home and cry. Or call Max.
But I couldn't go home. What if Blaine was there with Emma?
Banished from my own home. Stupid tears welled up again, and Van put a handkerchief in my hand.
And still, he said nothing. Just giving me my space and keeping me company.
He was probably worried I was going to throw myself off a bridge into the Charles River. Fat chance of that. No man was worth that.
I blew my nose into his handkerchief, and wondered if there was anything less attractive to a guy than a woman blowing snot. Probably not. Van didn't seem to care, but then again, we were hardly in the sexual vibe kind of relationship.
I slanted a look at Van. He was humming quietly to himself and had his hands shoved in his pockets. "Why'd you come up to my office?"
He shrugged. "You said you'd get a drink with me, so I was coming to collect."
I narrowed my eyes. "It wasn't because you saw Noah leave and figured he'd just destroyed my heart, my soul, and totally humiliated me?"
He shot me an undecipherable look. "Is that what happened?"
"No."
He lifted a brow.
"Okay, fine. Yes, that's what happened." I waited for him to tell me I should have listened to him and pretended I'd already left.
"Bummer."
I frowned. "So, I should have listened to you, huh? Sent him away?"
"Might as well get it over with. At least now you know."
Interesting point. "How'd you find my office?"
"I have a map of the building."
Oh. Made sense. He had keys and a map. He could go anywhere. I slanted another look at him, glad it was Van who had that kind of access, and not some crazy.
"We're here." He stopped in front of a little shop with gold curly-Q letters on the window. "It's the perfect spot."
"Après?" French for after. Fitting name for a dessert place.
"Yep." He followed me as the waitress escorted us to the table and seated us by the window, where we could look out on the street.
Even though it was Monday night at ten thirty, the place was still pretty crowded. A lot of people in suits and dressed up, but a few in jeans as well. And there was the most delectable scent of chocolate wrapping around me. Not just chocolate. Pure, heavenly, rich chocolate. Settling in my pores, healing my wounds. I inhaled deeply. "Wow."
He grinned. "I thought this might do."
After the waitress brought over a dessert tray and we'd selected an assortment of six different trial desserts, I settled back and looked around while I waited for our food. My mouth was actually watering as I looked at the other tables.
"So, is it back to Max, then?"
I let my gaze wander back to Van. "I don't know."
He nodded.
At that moment, I realized how very little I knew about Van. Our entire relationship was based on my stopping at his booth and spewing off about whatever nightmare was bugging me at the time. Van, with his security job, was so far away from the world of lawyers and big business, he'd always been an oasis for me.
But being out here with him? It was different. Almost a little awkward. "So, Van, you have a girlfriend?" At his sta
rtled look, I added belatedly, "Or boyfriend?"
He looked amused again. "Neither. I'm single."
Which didn't answer the question of which he would prefer if he wasn't single. And from the sparkle in his eye, I could tell he'd done that on purpose. Not that his personal life mattered to me. "Um...thanks for coming to get me tonight."
His amusement faded, and his eyes got concerned. "You seem better now, but I was pretty worried about you when I first got into your office."
I bit my lip to keep from crying again. "Yeah, well, I was a little shaken up."
A waitress set a mug of hot chocolate in front of each of us, topped with whipped cream. I grabbed the cinnamon stick and swirled it while I tried not to feel embarrassed.
"Want to talk about it?"
I put the end of the stick in my mouth and sucked off the chocolate. Mmm. I could feel the chocolate making me feel better already. "I thought the fact we'd known each other for twenty years meant that I could trust him to treat me well. I was wrong."
He nodded.
"Do you realize that he was the first guy I've ever slept with that early in a relationship? I never have sex until there's major commitment going on." If he was unsettled by the topic of my sex life, he didn't show it. And since he'd already guessed that I'd slept with Noah and since he knew I'd broken up with Max only three weeks ago, it wasn't as if I was giving him new knowledge. "I'm an idiot."
"Well, how was it?"
I looked at him. "What?"
"How was it? The sex?"
I rolled my eyes. "That's such a guy question."
He shrugged. "You didn't get the emotional commitment out of it that you were hoping for, so I was curious whether there were any redeeming aspects. Great sex might not make up for having to hide under your desk, but it's still something." He wrapped his hands around the mug. "So?"
I giggled and stared at my drink. I could feel my cheeks heating up. "Yeah, well, it was...um...you know...I guess it was good."
"Good or great?"
I pretended I was talking to my hot chocolate. "It was great." I looked up in time to see him grin and nod.
"There you go. See? Something good came of it. Great sex." He nodded. "Always a good thing."
One More Kiss (A Too Many Men Romantic Comedy / Chick Lit Novel) Page 15