My dad roared. "Noah blew her off? What does that mean?"
Ray scowled. "They slept together."
"What?" My dad's face got so red and twisted he looked like Otto's twin.
I felt sick. Betrayed. Utterly betrayed.
And then I saw Noah's smug face, and I hated him with everything I possessed. "Don't you dare look at me like that," I shouted. "You used me, and somehow you got my mom and Ray to think it was my fault. You don't deserve your place of royalty in this family." I was on my feet now, and I shrugged out of Van's grasp. "You—" I pointed at Ray and my mom. "—should be disgusted with yourselves. Just because I'm not some fancy lawyer, you take Noah's side. You're an embarrassment, and I can't believe I've spent my life trying to win your favor."
"Shannon," my mom said, using her placating voice. "Sit down."
I spun toward her. "And it's not just me. Even April is your victim." April sucked in her breath, and I waved in her direction. "You treat her like a leper because she's pregnant and unmarried. But it's your own damned son who won't marry her! April wants to be a wife and a mother, as well as a superstar professional, and your own stupid son is too self-centered to even consider sacrificing a moment of his precious freedom for a woman who loves him and his own damn child!" I was screaming now, and I didn't care. "And it's your fault, Mom! You're so obsessed with work and success that you've made Travis and Ray the way they are, picking career over family and what's important!"
I grabbed my purse off the chair, fighting back the tears. I would never let them see me cry. "I know you've been looking for the chance to disown me, but I'm taking it away from you. As of now, I'm no longer a McCormick. I'm simply too ashamed to admit I'm related to you." I glared at the room. "I hope you all rot in hell."
I walked out with as much dignity as I could muster. Which was probably negligible, but hey, I was about out of dignity these days.
Van caught up to me at the front door. "We have to talk."
I peeled his hand off my arm. "How could you lie to me? To find out like that, in front of everyone?"
"I know, I'm sorry." He tried to grab my hand, but I pulled away. "I was too afraid to lose you. Our relationship was so tenuous, with all these other guys in the picture, I couldn't afford to give you a reason not to come to me."
"So you lied?"
"I omitted. And I was going to tell you as soon as I felt we were secure."
"How do I know you didn't use me to get into my family? I thought you had no idea who my family was, and that's why I trusted you. Because you wouldn't have ulterior motives."
"I didn't know who they were!"
"As if there are that many McCormick lawyers around." I felt so empty. "What else did you lie about?"
"Nothing! Shannon—"
I held up my hand. "Not tonight, Van." I pulled my keys out. "I have to go."
"Can I follow you home?"
"No." I couldn't even look at him. The one person who I'd totally trusted. "I thought you were like me, Van. A regular person. And you're one of them."
He narrowed his gaze. "Is that why you liked me? Because you thought I was a nobody?"
"No!"
"You're a reverse snob, as bad as your mother."
I wanted to slap him. "I am not my mother."
"Yes, you are. You judge people by their careers exactly how she does, but you hate anyone professional and respond to those who you feel are nobodies." He moved closer. "You didn't even like April until she was on your mom's bad side. Wake up, Shannon. Until you do, you're going to look in your mirror and see your mom's face, all the parts of it you don't like."
I stared at him. "I hate you."
"Too bad. Because I love you." He kissed me hard and fast, then walked away.
I didn't go after him.
Chapter Forty-Five
When I got home, Dave, Phoebe and Emma were in the middle of making chocolate chip cookies. I tried to duck past them into my bedroom, but Emma stopped me. "Shannon! An envelope from that law school came."
I froze. My letter? I slowly turned toward them. I must have looked quite hellish, because the moment I was facing them, each got a horrified expression on their face.
"What's wrong?"
"What happened to you?"
"Are you okay?"
I ignored them. When was I going to learn to wear waterproof mascara? "What does it say?"
Emma held it out. "I didn't open it."
"Open it." My hands were shaking too much to function. They'd been shaking the whole way home, and I'd almost crashed into a fire hydrant when I'd missed a sharp turn. I certainly wasn't going to trust myself with an envelope.
She tore the end off and unfolded the inside letter. Dave and Phoebe leaned over her shoulder and the three of them read the letter. Then they looked at each other.
"What?" The anticipation was killing me.
"You got in," Emma said.
"I got in?"
They nodded. "To the day program."
"Holy shit." I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to respond. I didn't want to be like my family. I didn't want to play by their rules. But at the same time…I was stunned I'd gotten in.
Emma tossed the letter to Phoebe. "You look awful, Shannon. Come here." She pulled me into the kitchen and settled me on a chair. "Put your head between your knees."
"I'm not going to faint." I did as she directed anyway, in case the buzzing in my ears and the spots dancing in front of my eyes were indicative of anything dangerous.
I got into law school.
Me. A lawyer. What sense did that make?
Phoebe stuck a spoon full of cookie dough into my hand. "Eat."
It was challenging to eat cookie dough upside down, but I managed, being the incredibly talented glutton that I was.
"Are you going to accept?" Dave asked.
"What about work?" Emma said. "I thought you were going to go to night school and keep your job during the day so you wouldn't have to ask your parents for money."
I sat up slowly and looked at them. "I got fired." Ow. The words still stabbed me through the heart.
Emma grinned and clapped me on the back. "Welcome to the club. How does it feel?"
"Crappy." I scowled at her. "Getting fired from a career isn't the same as you getting fired from one of your experimental jobs."
"It wasn't a career. It was a life-sucking job that was destroying you." Emma looked very pleased. She probably figured I wouldn't harass her the next time she was fired.
Hah.
Phoebe licked one of the beaters. "The timing is perfect. You don't have a job, so go to school full time."
"Yeah." I filled my spoon and nibbled on the cookie dough.
"So it's fate," Emma announced. "You were destined to go to law school and become a lawyer."
"Yeah." I chewed a chocolate chip.
"Are you going to tell your parents or let them figure it out on their own?" Phoebe answered her own question. "I don't think you should tell them, so you can't convince yourself you're going to school to make them happy."
"I agree," Emma said. "Someday they'll figure it out and you can laugh at them. Isn't this funny how you're going to be a lawyer after all this? Total crack up."
I looked at Dave, who hadn't said anything. He was scooping cookie dough onto the baking sheet. "Dave?"
He finished loading up the sheet and stuck it in the oven. Then he leaned against the counter and folded his arms across his chest. "What happened tonight?"
How did he know? "I disowned my family." That didn't quite sum up all the anguish of the night, but it covered it on a high level. "And Van lied to me."
"Talk."
I looked at Emma and Phoebe, who nodded.
Did I want to talk? "I'd rather not."
Dave went to the fridge, pulled out a bottle of white wine, popped the cork, and served all of us. Then he set a plate of hot cookies in the middle of the table, pulled up a chair and sat down. "We've got warm cookies, wine, and a
ll night. Talk."
Talk about Van? Noah? My job? My family? April?
Phoebe put the box of tissues in front of me before the tears ever arrived. "Let it all out, honey. We're here."
I looked around the table. "Do you realize this is the first time in forever the four of us have been together?"
Emma nodded. "It's a sign that we were meant to be here tonight for you. Talk, girlfriend."
I sighed and picked up a cookie. "I have no idea where to start."
"Why'd you get fired?"
Oh, that. I sighed. "It was a conspiracy."
"Of course it was," Emma said. "By who?"
"Mutinous interns." Little rabid varmints. "Insane old men."
And there it began. The process of me unloading all that had been crushing me lately. My friends listened and nodded. We drank and ate. I blew my nose and went through three boxes of tissues. By the time I finished, we'd had to make another batch of cookies to sustain us. "There you have it. My life."
Dave rubbed his chin, playing with Phoebe's hair with his other hand. I wanted someone to play with my hair! I wanted someone to love me so much they'd give up everything for me!
But no, the guy I loved had lied. Not exactly comparable assets.
"I'm glad you told your family off," Emma said. "It's about time someone had the nerve to stand up to them.
"What about law school?" Dave asked.
"It seems the logical answer. I could always quit if I wanted to." I sighed. "But it doesn't feel right."
"Does anything?"
Van. He'd felt right. Except he wasn't who I'd thought he was.
"What will you do if you don't go to law school?" Emma asked.
I shook my head. "Nothing. I should go. I mean, what else is there to do, right? It's not as if I liked my job that much. I don't really want to go to another firm and deal with the same thing. There will be more mutinous interns and psychotic old men wherever I go." I ground my palms into my eyelids. "I can't believe I got fired."
"Get over it," Emma said. "It's not a big deal. Everyone gets fired at some point in their life."
I glared at her. "This is my first time, so I'm going to feel sorry for myself. It sucks."
"How does it suck? You hated your job anyway and you didn't have the courage to quit. I think it's great." Emma picked up another cookie and shoved it in her mouth. "Quit bellyaching and grow up."
"Grow up? Coming from the woman who can't hold down a job or pay for her own expenses."
"Hey!" Phoebe banged her fist on the table. "Don't start this again!"
"Fine." I folded my arms across my chest. "Sorry."
"Me, too. I love you, babe. I was just trying to be supportive. You know that, right?" Emma replied.
I nodded and gave her a quick hug. We were never going to go down that road of hating on each other again. Ever.
Dave rested his elbows on the table, a piece of paper in front of him. "What do you like about your job?"
"My old job?"
"Yes."
I sighed. "I guess I liked putting on events and being social. I liked being in charge. I liked entertaining others. I liked Hildy."
"And what didn't you like?"
"The atmosphere of a law firm. Having to tread so carefully around the egos. Knowing I was considered auxiliary and not critical."
Dave finished jotting down what I'd said and spun the paper in front of me. "What does it say to you?"
I studied the list. "That I like events and hate the law firm part."
"Then why are you considering a career where you give up the events part and take on the law firm part?"
I frowned. That was a good point. "You think I should become an events manager? Work for an events firm or something?"
"Do you?"
I trailed my hair around my index finger, and a slow burn of interest began to glow inside me. "Maybe." I studied the list. "Maybe."
Chapter Forty-Six
I spent the day going through the job postings. I found seventeen event manager positions in the area and applied for all of them. And you know what? For the first time in a long time, I was excited about my professional future, or at least the possibilities.
The letter of acceptance from the law school was open on my desk. Every so often, I picked it up and read it again.
Shannon McCormick, Attorney-at-Law.
It had some appeal, I supposed.
But not enough. I smiled and set it aside.
"You think it was blowing up at your family that finally gave you the courage to walk away from anything law related?"
I looked up to find Emma lounging in my door. "Maybe."
"You know I'm right, that you were at the law firm as a subconscious concession to your parents' desire for you to be an attorney, don't you?"
I leaned back in my chair. "It's possible, I guess."
Emma nodded at the newspaper on my bed. "You're finally going to leave all things law behind. How does it feel?"
I smiled. "Good."
"Then it's the right decision." She hesitated, then levered herself off the door and sat down on my bed. "It's four-thirty."
"So?"
"We need to leave for the wedding by five."
I turned back to my computer and resumed typing. "I'm not going."
"I am."
"I don't care."
"So is Blaine, and Dave and Phoebe. We're all going."
I ground my teeth. "So?"
"I think you should go."
"Forget it." I spun around to face her. "How can I? I made a total fool of myself yesterday. Plus, I disowned them. If I show up today, they'll think I want to be back in their inner circle, as if I was ever there." The thought was chilling. I couldn't bear to make them feel smug.
"It depends on your re-entry."
"How so?" I slid a glance her way, unable to resist. Okay, so maybe I was a little intrigued.
"It's all in the presentation. Go to the wedding on your own terms. You want them to accept you? Then you have to accept them, as well as yourself."
"What are you, a psychiatrist?"
"Nope." She got up and retrieved my bridesmaid gown from the closet. "You'll never forgive yourself if you don't mend the relationship with your family. You have to go."
"I don't have a date."
"Then return Van's phone call. He's called what, a hundred times today?"
I looked at the flowers on my desk that he'd sent earlier this afternoon. "He isn't who I thought he was."
"Maybe he's better."
"Because he's a lawyer who lied to me to get to my family?"
"Because he loves you so much he couldn't bear to risk losing you."
I stuck my tongue out at her. "Since when did you become a romantic?"
"Since I fell in love."
That surprised me. "You're really in love with Blaine? Like really and truly?"
She grinned. "Yep. It's awesome."
"But he's not your type. He's a lawyer, and he wears suits. Short hair, polished shoes. Not rebelling against anything."
"Go figure. I guess love transcends anything, huh?" She walked to the door. "Love could transcend a little deception done in the name of love, don't you think?"
"Van's like everyone else, choosing my family over me."
"How?"
"He didn't defend me when I had my melt-down. If he loved me, he'd be willing to trade my family for me. But instead he's going to work for my mom's firm." I shook my head. "That's why I thought he was safe. As a security guard, he had no stake in my family. But now? He does. And if I went out with him, he'd always have to be treading that line between me and my family. His career will be in my mom's hands. Do you really think I'll come first?" I shook my head. "No way, Emma. I'm not going through another Noah."
She pursed her lips. "I understand."
"You do?" I didn't want her to understand. I wanted her to tell me I was wrong, that Van would never put my family before me.
"Yes. Don't invite him. But
I think you need to come to the wedding. We're leaving in a half hour, and we're taking you with us. You'll look stupid going down the aisle in sweatpants with unwashed hair, so I suggest you head to the shower now, because you will be coming with us." She smiled sweetly. "Blaine is way stronger than you, so don't think you can fight it."
After she left, I sat at my computer for another five minutes. Thinking. Wrote some notes.
Then I got up and headed to the bathroom to take a shower.
I walked into the back of the church four minutes before the service was supposed to begin. My mom was flitting around straightening boutonnières, my dad was in the corner looking overcome by the occasion, and the bridesmaids were clustered in the corner.
I walked over to the sea of blue taffeta and stood on the outside while they fawned over my sister.
It was April who noticed me. I waited for the hostility of last night to flare up in her eyes, and I tensed as she walked over to me. I considered making a break for it, but my mom was in the doorway and I didn't want to mess with her. April was the lesser of two evils.
She stopped in front of me. "You had no right to announce my personal life to your entire family."
"I know. I'm sorry." I was. "I lost it."
"Travis was pissed."
I grimaced.
"Your mom apologized."
"What?" Surely I'd heard wrong. Like, I still had shampoo in my ears or something.
She smiled. "Your mom apologized. She said she hadn't been aware of how she was treating me until you brought it up. Then she went after Travis and told him he was unworthy of me."
"Really?" My mom going after a favored son? Unheard of.
Her smile widened. "How about that?"
"It's awesome!" I paused, then said, "So you're back in her favor?"
"Uh huh."
A thought dawned on me. "And you're associating with me in front of them?" My throat got all thick and clogged.
"You saved me." She slung her arm over my shoulder. "You're stuck with me now, sis."
I spun around to face her. "Sis?"
She grinned. "Yeah."
"Are you kidding? But...you said he was pissed? And that you didn't want to marry him if he was forced into it?"
One More Kiss (A Too Many Men Romantic Comedy / Chick Lit Novel) Page 28