Okay, she sighs and makes a bargain with herself. I’m going to allow one sex fantasy about Giovanni, but only one. That’s all.
Afterward, Lindsay throws on jeans that fall low on her hips and a white T-shirt before wandering down the hall toward the kitchen, stopping to say hello to a few people. Most of the artists who live in the building leave their doors open during the day while they’re in their studio working, which creates a nice feel of camaraderie. Someone’s boom box is playing foreign rap music, and the sound echoes off the walls.
Unsurprisingly, the communal kitchen is a mess. She cuts off a chunk of German rye bread then grabs cheese and cold cuts from the refrigerator to make herself an open-faced sandwich—a classic German breakfast.
She takes it back to her studio where she has an electric kettle she uses to heat water for her French press. When the coffee’s done, she adds a splash of condensed milk, then takes everything over to her sculpting table, eating while she studies the polymer clay mask she’s currently working on.
She’s always found masks interesting—the mystery of them, the way a mask allows the wearer to hide in plain sight. As an attractive woman who’s been judged by her appearance her whole life, she wanted to explore what’s beneath the surface. Her masks are all doubles. You lift the outer mask to see the one below. The true face.
There are ten of them now. One is still a work in progress, two are here in her studio, and the rest have all been sent to different galleries, both in Berlin and back in the States. She has an art agent who handles the business side of things.
Hopefully, she can sell the whole series. That along with her poker money should be enough to keep her in the black for a while.
Lindsay’s eyes flicker over to the bag of clay where part of her bankroll is currently hidden. She has hiding places all over her studio. It turns out Berlin is the poker capital of Germany. Who knew? She wasn’t planning on playing cards at all when she arrived here, and had obtained a temporary work visa which allowed her to take a job in a cafe the first few weeks, but then her money started running low.
She’d gone to Spielbank Europa mostly as an experiment. They had tournaments, and she played in a few before discovering she could make far more playing cash games. It would have taken her a month of waitressing to earn what she could in one good night of poker.
She thinks about Giovanni’s accusation, but she would never rip anybody off. Although she did feel bad taking Cockroach Breath’s money, despite the way he called her a whore and couldn’t keep his hands to himself. It was what he said about his wife. Love is everything. People seldom surprise her, but a sentiment like that coming from such an unlikely source did.
I must be going soft. Way too soft.
The fact is she beat him fair and square. She may not be as talented as her dad, but she plays a clean game. Straight up. Always.
I don’t need to cheat to win.
“What’s wrong?” Lindsay asks her sister, Natalie. It’s early evening and they’re Skyping with each other. She has her laptop set up on a chair near where she’s been working all day.
Natalie looks frustrated and tired. Her blonde hair is pulled back, though strands of it have come loose. She’s holding little Luca at her breast, nursing him. “I just found out Anthony is leaving for an observing run in Chile. He’ll be gone for two weeks.”
“When is this going to happen?”
“Not for a couple months, but he just came back from Keck a few weeks ago. How am I going to juggle work and a baby?”
“I wish I were there to help you. I never should have come here.”
“No, you need to live your life too. I’m glad you went to Berlin.” Luca’s little hand pats Natalie’s breast as he nurses, and Lindsay can’t help but smile. There’s an ache inside her, a hollow place she knows can never be filled.
Natalie is smiling at him too. She strokes his dark hair. “I wish I could keep bringing him to work with me, but I can’t have a baby around hot ovens.”
“What about daycare?”
“I looked into it. There’s no daycare that keeps baker’s hours.”
Lindsay’s not surprised. “Well, I can help when I get back.”
“I know, but I don’t expect you to do it every day. That’s too much. Plus, I know you’re starting classes.”
She’s been glad for the opportunity to come to Berlin, but a part of her feels guilty she left Natalie right after Luca was born. “What does Anthony say?”
“He thinks we should hire a nanny.”
“A nanny!”
“I know.” Natalie laughs. “Can you believe it? I guess he and his brother had them growing up.”
“Can you guys afford a nanny?”
She shrugs. “I think so. At least part time. Obviously, I have the income from the bakery, and Anthony does okay now that he’s made tenure.”
“Are you seriously considering this?”
“I am. I’ve already gotten the names of some agencies.”
“Listen to me.” Lindsay sits up straighter. “I’ll be home in a couple weeks. Please don’t hire anyone until I get back and can help pick them out.”
“Why?” Natalie appears mystified. “What do you know about hiring a nanny?”
“Nothing. But I know men, and I need to help vet this woman so we can avoid any potential problems.”
She unlatches Luca, switches him to her other breast, and takes a moment to get him settled. “What are you talking about? What potential problems?”
“Nanny problems, that’s what. Haven’t you ever noticed how many married men fall under the nanny spell?”
“Nanny spell?”
“Yes, look at all the tabloid headlines. Men are constantly having affairs with their children’s nanny.”
Natalie rolls her eyes. “That’s silly. I trust Anthony completely.”
“Yes, I’m sure that’s what all those movie star wives say too, but think about it. It happens all the time.”
“Anthony is not going to cheat on me with the nanny!”
Lindsay puts her hand up. “I’m not saying he would. Anthony is a good guy, but let’s face it, he’s still a man.”
Natalie shakes her head in amazement. “You’re serious about this, aren’t you?”
“Hey, why put temptation in his path?” Lindsay’s never understood why all these wives would bring a beautiful young woman into their home. It’s like they know nothing about male psychology or something.
“You don’t trust anybody, do you?”
“I trust you.”
Natalie sighs. “That’s something at least.”
“Listen, when it comes to men, I know what I’m talking about. And we need to find you an unattractive nanny who’s at least a hundred years old.”
“A hundred!” Natalie laughs. “Don’t you think that’s too old?”
Lindsay reflects for a moment. “Possibly two hundred.”
“Where am I going to find a two-hundred-year-old nanny?”
“Oh, they’re out there. In fact, I’m sure they’re in high demand.” She imagines all the smart women are snatching them up as fast as they can.
“I have a great idea,” Natalie says. “Maybe we could resurrect an Egyptian mummy to be our nanny!”
Lindsay laughs with approval. “See, now you’re thinking outside the box.”
“You’re crazy. Plus, Anthony is surrounded by college girls at the university. I can’t let myself worry about stuff like that.”
“That’s different. Those girls aren’t in his home, right under his nose every day.”
Natalie sighs. “I’ve already been cheated on once, remember? I trust Anthony. He’s not that kind of man.”
“Just let me help pick out the nanny. What’s the harm? I have good instincts about people, and you can’t deny that.”
“All right, fine.” Natalie unlatches Luca and pulls her shirt down again. “I’ll wait until you get back before I hire anyone.”
“Thank you.”
“So, what else is new?” Natalie holds a now sleeping Luca in her arms. Lindsay can almost smell his sweet baby scent through the computer screen.
“Not much. Giovanni showed up here last night.” She picks some clay out from beneath her fingernails.
Natalie’s mouth opens in surprise. “Really? I thought he was in Africa. What did he want?”
“I don’t know.” She relays the night’s events to her sister, starting with the marriage proposal from Dieter, but leaves out the part about playing poker and kissing Giovanni.
“Wait a minute. You’ve had three marriage proposals since you’ve been in Berlin?” Natalie laughs with amazement. “You never told me that!”
Lindsay shrugs. “I didn’t think it was worth mentioning. I mean, it’s not like I accepted any of them. I don’t plan to marry ever again.”
“You might change your mind for the right guy.”
“No. That’s not going to happen.”
Natalie studies her for a long moment, but doesn’t say anything. “So, what happened with Giovanni?”
“Not much. I have no idea why he even came here.”
Natalie appears to think this over. “Anthony must have given him your address, though he never mentioned it to me. I’ll ask him about it.” She looks worried. “You didn’t sleep with him again, did you?”
“No, of course not.”
“Are you sure?”
Lindsay raises an eyebrow. “Don’t you think I’d notice if I had? Although I did sort of kiss him.”
“You kissed Giovanni?”
“A good-bye kiss, that’s all.” Lindsay thinks about that kiss and the weariness on his face. “He’s changed since the last time I saw him.”
“Changed how?”
“I don’t know. He seems way more serious.”
“I’ve heard stories from Anthony. You should stay away from him.”
“Stories?” Lindsay was picking clay from her nails again but looks up at the computer screen. “What kind of stories?”
Natalie shifts position to get more comfortable with the sleeping baby. “Apparently, he’s cold when it comes to women.”
“In what way?”
“Anthony says he goes to these crazy dangerous places for months at a time. When he comes back, he sleeps with all these women, but he never wants to see any of them again.”
“Just like the one-night stand we had,” Lindsay murmurs.
Natalie nods. “Apparently, that’s typical. And it sounds like it’s only gotten worse over the years.”
Lindsay takes this in. Her instincts were right about him. He is more trouble than he’s worth.
“Anthony’s tried to talk to him about it, point out how it’s no way to live, but Giovanni refuses to discuss it.”
“I guess I’m not really surprised he has issues.”
“Don’t get me wrong, Anthony loves his brother. The work Giovanni does is amazing too. Some of the children he helps . . . it sounds like he brings hope to places that are hopeless.”
“A real saint.” Lindsay echoes Dagmar’s words from yesterday.
“In some ways, he kind of is, but apparently not in others.”
Lindsay shrugs. “Whatever. I’ve got no reason to see him again.”
After they finish their conversation, Lindsay reflects on what Natalie told her about Giovanni, how he was cold. He certainly wasn’t cold in bed. It’s true he was afterward, though. Her stomach goes tight. Even now, it still bothers her the way he left. They had a great time together. It felt like they’d known each other for years, and when she woke up alone, it was like a slap in the face.
He’s damned lucky he didn’t leave money, even for cab fare, because I would have hunted him down and made him eat it.
She grabs her phone as it starts to play “Born to Die in Berlin” by the Ramones.
“Just calling to see if a certain doctor made a house call last night,” Dagmar says with glee.
“No, I’m afraid there were no house calls.”
“Why not?” There’s disappointment in her voice. “He was so nice, and I could see the way he was looking at you. He would have been perfect to help you with your problem.”
Lindsay takes her phone over to the bed and lies down, tucking a pillow beneath her head. “The truth is the doctor already made a house call with me in the past.” She snorts softly. “Or more like a booty call.” She decides to go ahead and spill the whole story.
“But maybe he has changed,” Dagmar insists after hearing everything. “That was a while ago. People change.”
Lindsay doesn’t reply. She’s not surprised Dagmar is so forgiving since she tends to see the good in people even when it doesn’t exist. It’s her biggest flaw playing poker. She’s too easily bluffed. “Did Werner happen to mention anything about last night?” she asks instead.
“No, why?”
“He said something really rude to me and Giovanni got angry at him.”
“Not this again.” Dagmar lets her breath out in a huff. “You just don’t like Werner, but there is more to him than meets the eye.”
Unfortunately, Lindsay once made the mistake of admitting she thought Werner looked like a rat. It was after a few glasses of wine, and ever since then Dagmar thinks she’s only against him because of his appearance.
“He’s horrible. Honestly, Dagmar, you could do so much better.”
“Forget it.” Her voice takes on a chilled note. “And Werner is my boyfriend, so please do not talk about him that way. He has had a hard life, but he still takes care of me.”
Apparently Dagmar met Werner when he defended her against some guys who were hassling her at the casino, and now she completely romanticizes him to everyone. She thinks he’s some sort of misunderstood prince from the wrong side of the tracks. Lindsay knows for a fact he isn’t taking care of her either because from what she’s seen her friend pays for everything. Unfortunately, arguments about Werner have become pointless.
“You’re better than he is,” Lindsay can’t resist adding. “A lot of nice guys would love to be with you.”
“I have a guy! He is only stressed about some things right now, but he is good to me. If you gave him a chance, you would get to know the real Werner.”
Lindsay wishes that were true. Her initial impression of the rat has never wavered even once.
“Let's not talk about this anymore,” Dagmar says. “Do you have your notebook? Should we go over the hands we played last night?”
“It’s right here.” She reaches over to her nightstand to grab her small poker notebook and a pen in case she needs it.
They do this regularly, analyzing the poker hands they played the previous night. Lindsay initially started doing it to help Dagmar, but has discovered it’s helping her too. She remembers how her dad always kept a notebook when she was growing up.
Lindsay opens hers and they discuss each game, trying to decide if they made the best play. Afterward, Dagmar wants to know what time they should meet later, but Lindsay tells her she’s staying in.
“Why? You had a very good night last night.”
“I did, but I’m taking a break. Oh, that reminds me. I wanted to warn you about something.” She tells her about the weird Russian guy and to steer clear of him.
After they hang up, Lindsay goes back to work on her mask. The current one is a laughing face, slightly contorted, and done in a lavish style. It’s on a hinge, and when you lift it you discover a sober, serious face beneath it.
She stays in for dinner and winds up in the kitchen with the one other sculptor on her floor. He’s from Japan and creates elaborate wire figures. They share a beer and talk shop for a while.
Eventually, she heads back down to her studio, surprised to find Dagmar and Werner standing by her closed door, waiting for her. The two of them couldn’t be more mismatched. Dagmar with her long blonde hair and charming features could be singing in a Heidi musical, while the rat is hunched beside her with all the charm of a heroin addict
.
“What are you doing here?” Lindsay stares at Werner with dismay. Dagmar’s never brought him here before, and she’s not happy to see him. He’s wearing black eyeliner, and his strange spiky haircut appears freshly groomed. There’s a smug expression on his rat face that’s making her uneasy.
“We came to see if you would change your mind about going out tonight,” Dagmar says. “We’re going to the Spielbank over in Neukölln for a change.”
Lindsay considers it, since it wouldn’t be breaking her promise to Giovanni, but then dismisses the idea. “I appreciate the invitation, but I’m staying in.”
“Also,” Dagmar sighs and glances over at the rat with disappointment. “Werner admitted to me how he said something very rude to you last night and wanted to apologize again.”
“Is that so?”
“I am very sorry for my joke,” the rat says in his nasally voice. “I did not mean to offend you.”
Lindsay studies him.
“I hope this doesn’t affect our friendship,” he continues. “I was surprised by the strong reaction your doctor friend had. It must be a cultural misunderstanding.”
She rolls her eyes. There’s no culture on Earth where his blow job joke wouldn’t be offensive.
“I hope you can forgive me,” he says.
Whatever.
“Are you certain you don’t want to come with us tonight?” Dagmar asks. “You are leaving Berlin so soon. We need to make the most of it!”
“Not tonight. I want to continue working.”
“Could we come inside and see some of your art?” Werner glances at her door with interest. “Dagmar has described it to me, and it sounds fascinating.”
Lindsay’s bullshit detector spikes into the red zone. There’s no way he’s interested in her sculptures. “Sorry, there’s nothing to see right now.”
“That is too bad.” He’s still eyeing her studio door.
“I am so glad you two have settled things! See?” Dagmar beams at them both.
Lindsay wonders what Werner actually told her he said last night, certain it wasn’t the truth.
“We will talk more later, okay?” Dagmar leans in to hug her good-bye. Lindsay hopes the rat doesn’t try to hug her because he’s going to get a kick in the nuts if he even gets close.
Some Like It Hotter (Sweet Life in Seattle #3) Page 6