Lindsay nods, but her stomach clenches because, of course, she does have another secret. A big one. Her infertility. She wonders if he’ll still love her ‘forever’ if he finds out she could never give him children.
Maybe it won’t matter.
“What’s wrong?” he asks with his usual perceptiveness. Sometimes she wishes he were just a little bit dumber.
She shakes her head. “It’s nothing.” She knows she needs to tell him, but it has to be the right moment, not when he’s running off to the hospital. “Would it really bother you if I got another tattoo?”
“No, of course not. I just think you’re beautiful the way you are, that’s all.”
He leaves to get ready for work, and she decides to put this whole thing out of her mind for now. She’s learned that sometimes worrying about something too much creates a problem where there is none.
They’re both busy the next couple of days. He’s at the hospital a lot, and she works at the bakery in the mornings and then goes to her studio in the afternoon. She finally goes online to register for classes at the university—though she still has no idea how she’s going to pay for them.
There’s a party at Natalie’s on Friday. It started out as a girls’ night, but turned into an ‘everybody is invited’ sort of thing, so she and Giovanni go together. After they arrive, she learns Natalie has already found a manny. It’s the brother of Anthony’s assistant from work.
“You’re going to like him,” Natalie tells her, as Lindsay helps set up the buffet of food for everyone in the dining room. “He’s a great guy. Married and in school right now to become a kindergarten teacher.”
She nods with approval. “I still want to meet him, but I have to agree, he does sound perfect.”
Blair is there with her husband, Nathan, and she comes over to give Lindsay a hug. “You weren’t kidding about Anthony’s brother,” she says. “He’s really handsome and kind of intense too. Plus, he’s a surgeon—how hot is that?”
“Very fucking hot.” Lindsay grins and glances over to Giovanni, who’s talking to Nathan across the room. It occurs to her that they’d probably get along as they’re both well-traveled. She sees Tori, another friend, and they both wave hello.
“I have to ask, though.” Blair leans closer. “Does he pass the Bandito Test?”
Lindsay glances over at Giovanni again. The Bandito Test was this test Blair and Tori came up with to test a guy’s worthiness. The basic scenario is this: If you were kidnapped by a group of banditos, would the guy rescue you, even if it meant putting his own life in great danger?
“Of course, he’d pass,” Lindsay says. Hell, knowing Giovanni, he’d rescue her then go back and rescue everybody else who’d been kidnapped too.
He senses her perusal because his eyes go to hers and stay there. Neither of them can look away. It’s been like this all night. Eventually, he pulls her into Natalie and Anthony’s guest bedroom, the one they stayed in, which is now filled with coats and purses.
“Let’s get out of here,” he murmurs, pushing her against the closed door. “I’m going nuts. I want to be alone with you.”
She wraps her arms around his neck. “We haven’t been here long enough. Don’t you want to be social?”
“No.” He kisses her then trails his mouth down to her neck. “I want to take you home and do all manner of dirty things to you.”
“We have to stay at least a little while longer,” she tells him, to which he grumbles and growls.
They go back out and join the party, though he stays by her side, holding her hand and whispering in her ear as he nuzzles her some more. All the while, Lindsay giggles like a teeny bopper.
When she goes into the kitchen to grab some paper towels to help clean up a spill, Anthony is there. “I don’t know what’s going on between you and my brother,” he says with amazement, “but I haven’t seen Gio this happy in a long time.”
Later, she sees Natalie watching them with a little smile. By the time they announce they’re leaving, her sister whispers to her in the doorway, “You two look like you’re married for real.”
Unfortunately, that comment stays with Lindsay, and not in a good way. Despite how happy she’s been, a part of her is still nervous. She never wanted to marry again, to set herself up for that kind of pain, yet somehow this arrangement is turning into an actual marriage, and she doesn’t know what to do about it.
Over the weekend, Giovanni tells her more about his relationship with Olivia. It hurts her deeply to hear how he was used—not that he sees it that way, but she certainly does.
After he explains how he lied to his parents by telling them he was involved in various sports and other after-school activities when instead he was with Olivia, she asks how they managed it.
“Where did you go to be together? Her house?”
“Sometimes,” he says.
They’re sitting together on the couch after having dinner. He was at the hospital all day as usual, but it turns out he finally has tomorrow off. “I take it her husband was gone a lot for work?”
“He was, and occasionally we’d meet at her house, but mostly we’d meet at other people’s houses.”
“What do you mean?”
Olivia apparently owned her own interior design firm and had access to numerous empty houses while her clients weren’t around. Lindsay’s sure they would have been seriously pissed to discover how much she abused their trust.
“Were you ever caught?”
He nods. “A few times, but I think she liked it. Olivia enjoyed the rush. She was kind of a thrill seeker. She’d lie and tell them I was a design student, or if we stayed at a hotel, she usually told people I was her nephew.”
“And they believed her?”
“No one ever questioned it.”
She shakes her head. “I’m surprised her husband never figured it out. After all that time how could he not have suspected anything?”
He takes a swallows from his beer. “Sometimes I wondered if he knew. Not about me, but that she was with someone. She admitted to me at one point how there had been other guys before me.” He reflects for a moment. “There was someone after me too, I think.”
“Young like you?”
He nods. “That’s the impression I got. Olivia always seemed most concerned my parents would find out.”
“I’ll bet.” She tries to imagine what his parents would have done if they knew the truth. Olivia had good reason to be scared. She’s sure they would have gone after her with everything they had.
“I tried to break it off with her in the beginning.” He licks his lips. “I tried a couple times.”
“What happened?”
“She convinced me to stay.” He looks at her. “I once yelled at her and told her how I wanted to be a normal teenager and date teenage girls like I was supposed to.”
She reaches for his hand and squeezes it.
“In the beginning, she used sex to convince me, and it was difficult to resist. Then later, I fell in love with her.” He stares down at the beer bottle. “I’m ashamed to admit it, but at that point, I didn’t want to leave. I chose to stay with her, despite all the lies it involved.”
“Being manipulated like that is not really choosing,” she says, but knows he doesn’t believe her.
“For a long time afterward, I didn’t want to be with anyone else, and when I finally gave in to my own needs, I couldn’t give anything emotionally.”
He closes his eyes and leans his head back on the couch. There’s anguish on his face, and she feels it too, along with a deep rage for Olivia. If she weren’t already dead, I’d go after her myself.
“We don’t have to talk about this anymore,” she says. “Not if it’s hurting you.”
He opens his eyes and looks at her. “No, I want to tell you. It’s weird, but I think it’s helping me. It’s like for years I’ve been frozen in a long winter, and now it’s finally spring.” He smiles and draws her in closer. “You’re my spring,” he says q
uietly. “My new beginning.”
She touches his face, her heart in her throat. “You’re mine too.”
The next morning, as Giovanni changes the bandage on her finger, checking for signs of infection, Lindsay tells him how she thinks he should consider talking to somebody about his past.
“What you do you mean? Like a professional?” he asks.
“Yeah, like a therapist or counselor.”
He gives her a wry look. “I don’t need therapy.” And then he leans down and kisses her on the mouth. “All I need is you.”
She disagrees, thinking it might be good for him. “You should consider it. I know you don’t believe this, but from everything you’ve told me, Olivia didn’t just fuck your body. She fucked your mind too.”
He pauses. “I’m fine. Look at my life. I’m not exactly struggling here.”
“It’s true that, professionally, you’re successful, but your personal life was a mess for years.”
“Was being the operative word.” He finishes cleaning off her finger with some kind of antibacterial spray and throws the cotton in the garbage. “I’m happy to say your finger is healing well, and I don’t see any sign of infection. We can leave the bandage off.”
She nods. “Okay, thanks.”
He goes over to the sink and washes his hands. When he’s done and drying them on a towel, he tells her how he’s going to buy some more fruit trees for the backyard soon, how he wants to plant some apple trees along the fence.
“We should finish setting up the rooms for Joseph and Sara too,” Lindsay says, thinking it over. She’s done some painting, but they haven’t bought beds yet. “Have you heard anything about the adoption?”
“I spoke to Phillip briefly the other day, and we’re still in a holding pattern. He’s worried, though. It sounds like things are growing even more politically unstable.”
“Can we do anything?”
“Not really, but I feel like I’m letting Paul down somehow.”
“That’s crazy. It’s not like you have control over any of this.”
“I know.” Giovanni gazes out the kitchen window. “I just wish I could do more.”
She goes over and wraps her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. “You’re an amazing friend. Most people would never go to such measures.”
He hugs her in return, and they stay that way for a while.
When she finally pulls back, she sees he’s smiling down at her. “What is it?”
“I was just thinking about you in that origami class the other day. You’re really great with kids.”
“Thank you.”
“Do you think you’d like to have kids of your own someday?”
Her eyes widen as a spike of adrenaline rockets through her. She knows she needs to tell him about her infertility before things get even more serious in their relationship. I should do it now. I can’t let this go on.
“My mom called me at the hospital yesterday,” he says. “It was only a short conversation, but I think she’s changing her mind about all this. Our arrangement.”
“Really?” She blinks with astonishment.
He nods. “It turns out my dad has reconsidered, and he’s been talking to her about it.” He smirks and rolls his eyes. “She said something crazy too.”
“What was that?”
“That you and I would make beautiful babies together.”
Lindsay’s throat goes tight. She tries to smile, but it feels like she’s doing it from a million miles away. “Why would she say such a bizarre thing?”
“Because I told her about us.” His blue eyes go to hers. “That we’re involved, and that I’m in love with you.”
She tries to take a breath. “I can’t imagine she was too pleased. I don’t think she likes me.”
He shrugs. “Apparently, she approved of the way you handled that nanny business with your sister, although I thought the whole thing sounded nuts.”
She knows she has to tell him the truth, how they will never make beautiful babies together, how that particular hand will never be played.
But somehow she can’t find it within herself. Not yet. It’s such a lovely fantasy that, for a little while longer, she wants to live it, wants to pretend she’s seeing it from his point of view.
Giovanni studies her. “Is everything all right?”
Lindsay licks her lips. “This is happening so fast. I’m the one who swore I’d never get married again, remember?”
“Hey, we’re just taking things at our own pace. Don’t worry about anything else.”
“I’ll try.” She does feel nervous though. In truth, she’s way past the point where she would have left any other relationship.
“There’s one other thing I wanted to tell you about.” He gets a mischievous grin on his face. “I’m not sure what you’ll think of this, but it turns out Seattle Children’s is participating in an upcoming fundraiser. Its theme is the Roaring Twenties. There’s an auction and a poker tournament.”
“You’re kidding.”
He’s still grinning at her. “I think you should enter. People can stake you, and all your winnings will go to whichever hospital you’re playing for.”
She considers it. “I don’t know if I can afford it. What’s the buy in? I still have school to pay for.”
“Don’t worry about that. I’ll back you. It’s for a good cause, after all.”
She gives him a long look. “You don’t care if everybody knows your wife plays poker? Some people might think that’s weird.”
“Are you kidding?” He chuckles. “It’ll be fun. They’ll never see you coming.”
She nods. “That’s true.” They typically never do. It’s always been one of her advantages.
His hands slide to her hips, and he pulls her in close. “You should teach me how to play sometime.”
“You don’t know to how play poker?” Her mouth opens with astonishment.
“No, not really. I played a couple times in college, but I barely remember it.”
“I didn’t know that.” It’s difficult for her to even imagine such a thing. It seems like she’s always known how to play. She remembers her dad teaching her card rankings when she was very young. “Sure, I could teach you.”
“But I want to play strip poker.” He waggles his brows, and she laughs.
They spend the next few hours each doing their own thing. It’s a warm Sunday, and Giovanni is outside in the backyard with his beloved fruit trees. Lindsay calls a few friends she hasn’t spoken with since she’s been back from Germany. Afterward, she goes out to talk to him.
“Listen, I just spoke with a friend of mine.” She stands next to where Giovanni’s building some kind of wooden trellis. “He’s going to come by today and drop off some of my stuff.”
“Okay.”
She doesn’t move, and he glances at her. “Is there something else?”
“He’s the guy I was living with before I went to Berlin. I just thought you should know that.”
His lips come together in a flat line. The hammer in his hand goes still as he appears to be taking in her words. “Why is he coming here exactly?”
“Because he has some things of mine. Some jewelry and some clothes. Plus, we’re still friends.” Her eyes take in the house and yard for a few seconds before going back to him. “You told me to treat this like my home, and I have been, in every way except one.”
“What’s that?”
“You probably haven’t noticed, but I haven’t had any friends over.”
He shrugs. “I don’t mind if you have friends over. In fact, I’ve had invitations to socialize with colleagues recently, but I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about that sort of thing.”
“I’m fine with it.” Lindsay looks down at her flip-flops. She recently painted her toenails dark blue. “Look, a lot of my friends are men.” She glances up at him. “I just get along with men. Don’t get me wrong, I have women friends too. But I’ve always had both.”
; She can see Giovanni trying not to struggle with this news and doing a poor job of it. “I understand. You should invite your friends over, even if they’re . . . men.” He nearly chokes on the word.
She eyes him dubiously, but nods. “Okay, good.”
While she’s waiting for her ex-boyfriend to show up, she sits at the dining room table with her laptop, updating her artist blog and some of her other social media pages.
Giovanni’s already come inside the house twice, scowling and territorial. He’s like an alpha dog ready to stake his claim. Any second now, she expects him to start pissing on the furniture.
“It’s really no big deal,” she explains again. “I’m just friends with him still. That’s all.”
He nods with a grave expression. “Of course, I understand. No problem.” Though it’s obvious there is a problem.
By the time they hear a motorcycle roaring into their driveway, Lindsay’s worried. She’s dealt with enough men fighting over her that she already knows the signs beforehand.
“You know, maybe I’ll just get my stuff from Dylan out front,” she says in an offhanded way as she gets up. “That’s probably easiest.”
“Dylan?” Giovanni’s scowl deepens. “That’s his name?”
She nods.
He grumbles and says something in Italian, which she’s certain isn’t a compliment toward Dylan. “Tell him to come inside. I told you I don’t care. I’m going back out to work on the trellis.”
She watches him walk out the back door. He’s wearing those soft Levis she loves and a fitted blue T-shirt that says ‘UCLA Medicine’ on it.
Lindsay goes out front and finds Dylan there, just getting off his Harley. He unstraps his helmet, smiling when he notices her.
“Hey, Linds. It’s good to see you.” He comes over to give her a hug.
“You too,” she says, breathing in his familiar scent. They lived together for almost six months, and she’s glad they managed to stay friends. She’s had plenty of ugly breakups over the years, but this wasn’t one of them.
Some Like It Hotter (Sweet Life in Seattle #3) Page 28