Every night I still went to bed, aching with longing—a longing so deep in my bones sometimes I could almost feel Craig’s arms wrapped around me, feel his warm breath on my neck as he held me.
I heard his deep voice in the dark of the night, whispering loving words, sex words. I’d remember his lovemaking and my body would grow increasingly hot, my frustration increasing when the vibrator in my nightstand did little to ease my need for him.
I was miserable and I wondered how long it was going to take me to move on.
Because I was terrified I never would.
* * *
“Can I get you another glass of wine, Rain?”
The sound of my name jerked me out of my daydreaming. I glanced up at Liam. He was standing by the table instead of sitting beside me in the booth we were all crammed into. I hadn’t even noticed him shimmy out. “Please.” I gave him a small smile and he grinned at me before disappearing off to the bar.
Liam was one of the friends Darcy had made. He was a friend of her friend, Joanie, the girl she’d been staying with these past few months. Like most nights, we were hanging out with a component of Joanie’s large group of mates. On my left was Dex, an American who was dating Mei. Mei was close with Darcy, sitting opposite Dex, and next to Joanie, who was wedged in between her and Xander, Darcy’s new boyfriend. At the end of the booth, sitting tucked into Xander’s side, was Darcy.
I flicked my gaze away from Liam’s retreating back and it clashed with my sister’s. I didn’t like the way she was studying me . . . as though she’d suddenly guessed how unhappy I was. I flashed her a smile, faking it. “You okay?”
“I’m okay.”
“I think Liam fancies you, Rain,” Joanie suddenly said, breaking the intense staring match between my sister and me.
Darcy smiled, a genuine one. “Everyone fancies Rain.”
“You’re one to talk,” Joanie scoffed, and I detected the very real jealousy in her tone and in her eyes as she looked away from my sister.
Darcy sensed it, too, caught my eye, and made a face at me.
I bit my lip, trying not to laugh.
Xander caught the interplay between us and I saw a small smile flash across his face.
My sister was gorgeous. We both had dark, almost black hair, but where I had big dark brown eyes, Darcy had tip-tilted eyes so blue they were like the aqua waters that surrounded Santorini. The blue only stood out more against the long black lashes that framed her eyes. They were stunning eyes. Her features were also more refined than mine, more aristocratic. Plus she was smaller in height and curvier than me. Gorgeous.
Smart.
And strong.
She’d proven how strong.
I was so damn proud of her, and as miserable as I was without Craig, I loved that I got to be with my sister again. More than that, I loved that I got the chance to see how much she’d learned from her mistakes. Xander was the complete opposite of Angus. He wasn’t a pretty boy by any means. In fact, except for his build (he was a very tall, very fit personal trainer), Xander wasn’t all that extraordinary looking. But as I got to know him, I saw the kind humor in his dark eyes and the charisma of a confident, down-to-earth man who looked at my sister like she was a goddess.
He made her laugh.
A lot.
So far he’d only had eyes for Darcy.
And I liked him a heck of a lot for all of that.
I’d discovered, too, that the fateful phone call with Darcy, when she told me she’d started dreaming about Angus and what he did to her again after weeks of recovery, was due to Xander. He’d pursued her determinedly and his pursuit had opened Darcy’s wounds regarding Angus. It had been painful for her, but she definitely seemed to have healed as she came out on the other side of it. To my delight, my sister told me all about Xander’s “courtship” of her and how, despite how difficult she made it for him, he hadn’t given up until she’d given him a chance.
“I thought Liam was dating some German girl,” Mei piped in, pulling me from my Xander musings.
“I’m thinking he’d dump her for a shot at Rain,” Joanie cracked dryly.
“He’s hot,” Mei said.
I glanced at Darcy and could tell she silently agreed. She gave me that “you could do worse” look.
Was Liam hot? I hadn’t really paid attention. I glanced back at the bar and took in his tall, built body. He was in book publishing and he was a surfer. Smart and athletic. And he was the only Australian at the table. His accent was hot.
I could do worse.
But I’d also done better. I’d had Craig. Liam was some other girl’s Craig.
He wasn’t for me.
“I’m not interested,” I muttered, softening my words with an apologetic smile.
“I better warn him not to dump the German, then,” Dex cracked.
I laughed halfheartedly and unfortunately Darcy caught it. She narrowed her eyes in suspicion and I looked away.
My sister would never know about Craig, no matter what. I didn’t want her to know the choice I’d made.
* * *
For the next couple of days life in Sydney went on as usual. Darcy worked on designs for our upcoming fall season and I dealt with emails from our manufacturer in Newcastle back in the UK, and emails from our admin and tech support back home who dealt with accounts, customer inquiries, and the updating of our online clothing store.
I was lulled into a false sense of security with Darcy. I thought my secret safe from her.
Imagine my surprise then when I returned home from grabbing us takeout at a local Chinese to find Darcy sitting on my bed with my iPad mini in her hands.
The photos from my phone were on there.
She turned the iPad and I drew in a sharp breath at a photo of Craig and me. We were standing on a dock on Loch Lomond. It was a selfie of us with the Loch in the background. We were pressed cheek to cheek, smiling happily into the camera. It had been a wonderful day out together. We’d taken long walks, eaten at a lovely wee café, and at night Craig had taken me to a deserted tourist car park and we’d made out and felt each other up like teenagers in the back of his car.
The memories killed me.
I tried not to wince. “What are you doing?” I was angry at the invasion of my privacy—especially considering there were some photos on that iPad of the two of us kissing in bed together—but mostly I felt panic.
Darcy looked confused and hurt. “Is this Craig?”
My panic increased. “How do you know that?”
“Because we have mutual friends back in Edinburgh who, unlike my sister, were willing to tell me what the hell you’ve been up to these last few months.”
“Darcy—”
“Why didn’t you tell me about him?” She shook the iPad at me. “I’ve been worrying since you got here about why you were so fucking sad, hoping that it was just homesickness and that you’d get over it. But it was more than that. I could tell. So I called back home. Lucy said she barely heard from you the last few months you were in Scotland. She said you met some bartender called Craig and then fell off the radar.”
Weary, I slumped down in my computer chair. The flat didn’t have a third room I could use as an office so my bedroom was it. “His name is Craig Lanaghan.”
“And why don’t I know about him?”
Guilty at the hurt look on her face, I sighed. “You were in a bad place and I didn’t want to gloat about my new relationship.”
Her face flushed with anger. “Okay. Fine. How about telling me about him now? Now that you know I’m not in a bad place and have a wonderful man in my life?”
And so I did. I told her everything. About my plans for Angus and how it led me to Craig.
When I was finished, Darcy plopped back against my pillows, looking as exhausted as I felt. “I don’t even know where to start. Your misplaced need to avenge me or you leaving behind the man you love for me.”
“You come first,” I said automatically. “I promised myself I�
�d never let you down again.”
Darcy’s eyes widened. “Dear God, Rain, is that what this about?”
Feeling tears burn my eyes, I shook my head and looked at the floor. “I just didn’t want to lose you. And I would miss you too much if we were on the opposite sides of the world.”
“And what about him?”
I looked up and she was pointing at the picture again.
“I’ve never seen you like this,” she said, her voice filled with concern. “You love him. You miss him.”
“I’d miss you too.”
“But it’s different.” She shook her head. “Nothing will ever come between us. Nothing. Not a twenty-four-hour plane ride or an eleven-hour time difference. Nothing.” She held out her arm and turned it so I could see her tattoo.
DARRAIGN.
It was tattooed on her right arm.
“Rain. I know you will always truly have my back, and I don’t need you here in person, throwing your life into upheaval, to prove it. You need to be in the same fucking country as the man you love.”
I gave a huff of sad laughter. “We made a clean break. I’m here now. I just need to move on.”
“No.” Darcy got up off the bed and strode toward me. She lowered to her haunches, staring me straight in the eye. “You need to go home to Craig Lanaghan.”
Craig
The noise in the pub was getting to him.
It was a Saturday afternoon and he was there with his mates to watch football. The place was packed but they were lucky enough to have found a table.
Jokes were cracked, lager was drunk, and hoots and yells and curse words were thrown at the large flat screen televisions on the walls.
Craig stared into his lager and wondered not for the first time in three weeks whether he would ever find something funny enough to laugh at again.
He felt a nudge on his shoulder and turned to look at Stevie, who was crammed in next to him. “Maybe you just need to get laid,” he offered, concern in his eyes.
Obviously Craig wasn’t doing a very good job of looking happy to be there.
Despite knowing Stevie’s words were well meaning, Craig scowled at him. “Is that what you’d do if Audrey left you? Fuck the first bird that came along?”
Stevie glowered back at him . . . but then he turned away and lifted his pint to his mouth, muttering, “Fair point.”
Craig sighed and pulled out his wallet. He put a twenty on the table beside Stevie. “Sorry. Have a few on me. I’m heading home before work.”
“The game isn’t finished,” Stevie argued.
“Not in the mood.” He got up and ignored his friends’ good-natured name-calling as he left.
As Craig walked back to his flat he thought how fucked up it was that his city, a city that had been familiar and warm to him his whole life, felt so damn strange and empty these days.
He knew why, but he daren’t think her name.
When he got to his flat he felt a moment of apprehension rush through him when he found his door unlocked. Silently he turned the handle and on light feet he walked inside.
“It’s us, sweetheart!” his mother’s voice called out from the living room.
Relaxing at the identity of the intruder but confused as to why she was there, Craig shut his front door and strode into the heart of his flat.
He came to an abrupt halt at the sight of his mother, Maggie, and Jeannie. “What’s going on?”
Maggie stepped forward, her arms crossed over her chest. She was wearing a familiar, mulish expression. “This is an intervention.”
“An intervention?” He frowned, not in the mood for this crap. “For fucking what?”
“Watch your mouth,” his mum snapped.
He wisely kept his trap shut.
Jeannie gave him a sad smile. “We’re worried about you.”
Growing up, all he’d done was worry about her. Some of that worry was eased when she met her fiancé. He was a good solid bloke and he clearly loved his sister. Still, Craig never stopped worrying about her. It was strange to be on the receiving end of that familial concern. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine,” his mum said, sounding exasperated.
His eyebrows rose at her tone. He’d been avoiding her these last few weeks. Finally guilt made him take her phone call the other night and he’d told her that Rain had left and why. She’d gotten off the phone sounding sad. Not exasperated.
“I will be,” he insisted, although right now it didn’t feel like it.
He missed Rain with every inch of his being.
It felt like grief.
“You’re going to Australia,” Maggie suddenly announced.
He raised an eyebrow at her. “What?”
Their mother rolled her eyes at her youngest daughter. “I thought we said we’d lead up to that?”
“I cut to the chase.”
“Well, I’m confused, so perhaps we should return to the leading-up-to-it part,” Craig suggested impatiently.
“Ugh, you’re so snarky when you’re heartbroken.” Maggie made a face and was abruptly pulled down onto the sofa by an annoyed Jeannie.
“We know you didn’t follow Rain to Australia because of us,” his mum said. “But we’re here to tell you that we want you to go be with her.”
Euphoria shot through him at the thought but was quickly extinguished when he took in each of their faces. “I’m not leaving you.”
“Craig, sweetheart . . .” His mum got up and came toward him, cupping his face in her hands. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears. “Will I miss you if you’re over there? Yes. But I miss you more right now because you’re not you. Rain took a big piece of you with her and you need to go get it back. I need you to be happy more than I need you to be here.”
Maggie and Jeannie came up behind her, wrapping their arms around his and their mum’s waists. “Ditto what mum said.” Jeannie kissed his cheek.
He looked at Maggie, his heart pounding in his chest. His smart-arse little sister had tears on her face.
“Go get her,” Maggie whispered. “We’ll be fine.”
The thought of leaving them weighed heavily on him. “I can’t.”
“You can,” his mum insisted, the tears replaced by a blaze of determination. “You take all that money you’ve been saving and you get a flight out there. And while you’re out there maybe you can do something about that dream of owning your own bar.”
“Plus if you go I’ll have an excuse to visit Sydney,” Maggie added, and there was genuine excitement in her young eyes at the thought.
“Ditto what Mags said,” Jeannie laughed.
Craig stared at them in disbelief but the hope inside of him was building and building . . . “I promised I’d always take care of you. When Dad died . . . I promised . . .”
“A couple of continents won’t stop you from keeping that promise,” his mum assured him. “I’m not taking no for an answer. This is an intervention with no choice.”
Rain
“You’re acting weird,” I said to Darcy in lieu of a “good morning” as I walked into our small kitchen. She was sitting at the breakfast bar eating cereal and she looked up at me mid-chew with a faux innocence in her eyes.
“Mm mm mmm mmmm.”
I translated her cereal-muffled words as “I’m not acting weird.” “Yes, you are.” I thought at first her weirdness was because of the conclusion we’d come to after she found out about Craig.
Darcy didn’t want me to be unhappy, and I didn’t want to leave her alone, so we’d decided I would think long and hard on what to do.
Now that I had seen for myself how happy and comfortable Darcy was here in Sydney, what I wanted was to go home to Craig.
But I was terrified he wouldn’t want me back after I chose to leave him.
I hadn’t confided this to Darcy, so I assumed her unusual quietness and avoidance of me this last week was because she felt guilty that she was part of this difficult decision.
However, la
st night I got home earlier from the supermarket than I said I would and she didn’t hear me come in. When I strode into her bedroom to ask her something she jumped like a scared rabbit and slammed her laptop closed.
Very suspicious behavior indeed.
“What are you up to?”
Darcy swallowed hard and gave me this heavy sigh that I wasn’t convinced wasn’t manufactured. “Well I was going to deal with it myself as a surprise but you nearly caught me last night . . . so . . .”
I slid onto the stool next to hers. “So?”
She grinned in excitement. “I want to do a store launch party here in Sydney.” She rambled on before I could interrupt. “We didn’t do one in Edinburgh but it would work so well here. We know people with great connections here . . . One of which”—her eyes widened with even more excitement, if possible—“is the fashion buyer for one of Australia’s biggest online department stores, and I’ve arranged a meeting with him, and if he likes our store there might be a deal to made and they’d probably help us with the launch party so that it’s epic.”
I frowned at this news. “I thought we were going to stay independent. Not sell through a department store.”
“Well we’d have to work out all the details with him. I’m pretty sure our lawyer would be able to work out a deal where we can still sell independently to Australia. Other designers do it.”
“But we’re not designers.” I rubbed my forehead at the magnitude. “I mean we are but we’re also an online boutique. Boutiques do not sell at department stores.”
Darcy’s face fell. “You hate the idea.”
“No. I don’t. I thought you did, so it’s just a surprise, especially with . . .”
“You still not having made up your mind about staying here,” she finished for me. “Well,” she mused over it, “I tell you what . . . Why don’t you take the meeting instead? You are the business side of this business, so it really only makes sense.”
I guess it couldn’t hurt and it would be a nice distraction. “Okay. When and where is the meeting set?”
“In two days at a bar on King’s Way. We decided a bar kept it relaxed, casual, no pressure.”
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