by Lesley Jones
“Lauren?”
“Yes”
“Tell me. How, how do you want me, what do you want me to do to you?”
He puts his cup down and leans over to me
“Do you want me to kiss you?” he asks
“Yes” I pant the word more than say it. I think I might actually explode. We are both breathing heavily
“Where, where do want me to kiss you?” Oh shit, I can’t do this; I have lost the power of speech. I must look like a rabbit caught in the headlights as I just stare back at him. What do I say, what do I say?
“Tell me baby, please, I want to hear you, I want you to show me”
He is speaking so softly to me. My skin is on fire, I don’t know if the burning I feel is showing on the outside but I can most definitely feel it on the inside. How does he do this to me? I could lay here with him and just have an orgasm from his words, from watching his mouth, those full soft lips and those eyes, oh those eyes. I have to close mine, just for a few seconds.
“Lauren, there’s only me here, you can tell me anything, I want you to tell me everything, it’s just us baby, just you and me so open your eyes and tell me what you want” Before I can think any more about it, I say “here” I point at my lips “I want you to kiss me here”
“And here” I point at each of my nipples. His eyes follow to where I point, he smiles then looks back up to my face. In seconds his expression and his eyes have changed, he’s no longer that cute Aussie boy. He is all hot, sex and smouldering, predatory even and I love it.
“And here” I point between my legs. His eyes look down to where I point, then travel back up, over my body and to my face, he licks his lips, then flicks his tongue back and forth across his bottom lip, I can see his pulse throb in a vein in his neck…..Oh Fuck!!!! How much more of this can I bare???
“You want me to kiss you there? What else would you like me to do to you there Lauren?”
I'm struggling not to squirm, fucking hell this is too much, one touch, that’s all its going to take, I am already so close, I can hardly get my words out and when they come, they are short and breathy and I actually sound quite sexy. God! Hello the new me I think I am going to like you.
“I would like you to touch me, and lick and suck me there, I would like you to fuck me with your fingers there and rub my clit. I would like you to stick your cock in me and fuck me till I come and I scream out your name and I want you to do it again and again and again. I want you to make me sore”
We are still lying facing each other, we haven’t touched but his cock is huge, swollen and twitching and I can’t help but stare at it, he follows my gaze down, he brushes his middle two fingers over the tip, collecting the clear fluid glistening there and he gently wipes them around my lips and then into my mouth.
“Well” he says. “You just got lucky baby... Because just for today, I am taking orders and I think I am more than capable of meeting all of your demands”
And he does. We make love long into the morning. In-between fits of giggles and laughter caused by my inability to get into certain positions because of my poor bruised ribs, so much for not touching me till I've healed, fiend!!!
We eventually raise around eleven, shower, and then drink coffee at the kitchen bench top.
“So, are we actually going to attempt to leave the house today and go and chose some paint and flooring? Otherwise you’re not gonna have my new place ready for me to move into by the weekend and all of your time off will have been wasted He holds his coffee cup in front of his mouth and looks at me.
“You’re very keen to get away from me Mrs East and I would hardly call my time off wasted.... I've actually enjoyed every minute of these past couple of days” He replies.
“Besides, you have no clothes to wear, I'm happy for you to wander round here all day, every day, naked or in one of my T shirts but I would not be so pleased for you to leave the house like it”
I look down at my coffee cup “Please don't call me Mrs East. That's not who I am any more. I've been thinking about it and I'm going to go straight back to using my single name”
“And what's your single name?”
“Day” I reply
“Okay then MS Day, you still have no clothes and I would much prefer it if you didn't leave the house naked” he states.
Okay, here goes, I’ve been thinking about this as it needs to be done but I’m not sure what his reply will be.
“Well, I've been thinking about that too. Would you drop me over to my house so I can collect some of my stuff? He has no right to keep any of it and if he causes a scene, I will just call the police this time but I doubt very much that he will be home during the day”
I rush the words so they are out there and then hold my breath, waiting for his answer, we haven’t known each other long but I’ve already worked out that he’s not my husband’s biggest fan.
“Right” He says. Not looking happy. Once again his eyes have changed and they now have that hard steely blue stare to them. Gabriel is so laid back and easy going most of the time, but I have a sneaking suspicion my Angel has a dark side, a very dark side and I don’t think I would like to be the one that brings that little trait to the surface. He sets his coffee cup down, loudly and I jump. What’s he thinking?
“I’m not sure I like the idea of you going in on your own, if he is there, I would be much happier if I went in with you”
“And how exactly would I explain who you are?”
“Tell him I'm a friend, tell him I'm your new landlord and I've come to help you move your stuff, it wouldn't be a lie”
“He would go Ape Shit” I say
“To be honest Lauren, I couldn't give a fuck if he does” He gets up and puts our cups in the dishwasher. Oh dear, man on a mission.
“Pull on your trackies, let’s go and get your stuff” Definitely on a mission.
I do as he says and grab my keys and phone. Crap, this has the potential to go so badly wrong, I would hate for Gabriel to come face to face with Jay right now. My husband is a big man and has never had a problem looking after himself but Gabe is younger, fitter and so fucking pissed off right now, I would hate to think of the outcome if he were to get his hands on Jay. He's already out in the Ute with the engine running. I close the front door behind me and jump in, as best I can, considering I have sore ribs and very sore lady bits. But then, I did tell him I wanted him to make me sore!
The sunshine has gone today; it’s warm but overcast. Gloomy, hope that's not an omen, stop with the over thinking Lauren, God, I do my own head in sometimes, never mind what I must do to everyone else around me, my morning high has taken a nose dive and I’m really not sure if going to my former home, with Gabe in tow, is one of my better ideas. I give Gabe directions regardless and we are there in less than ten minutes. Jays Ute isn't on the drive; let's hope that means he's not home. We park and Gabe jumps out and comes round to my side to give me a hand, he obviously noticed my struggle on the way in then!
“Wait here” I order him and go and knock at the front door. I look back at Gabriel while I'm waiting. He's wearing long lose cargo shorts, a T shirt and thongs. His hair is pushed back off his face and his blue eyes look tense. His arms are leaning behind him on the Ute; his long legs stretched out and crossed in front of him. He looks like he's posing for a camera, a perfect male model, tall, trim, toned, and tanned, but he's not here for any photo shoot, he's here for me and I actually feel my breath catch as I acknowledge this fact. My nerves are already a jumbled mess of neurons, firing in all directions; my scalp is prickling with tension. I'm so scared that Jay will be home or turn up but looking across at Gabe is almost enough to send my body into emotional overload and I have to look away and take in a few deep calming breaths.
I put my key in the door and let myself in. The house is silent; I call out for Jay, just to be sure. No answer, so I rush straight into my bedroom and start pulling my clothes out of my drawers and stuffing them into a suitcase I've grabbed from the
wardrobe. When this is full I pull it out to the front door. I run back and simply walk through my wardrobe pulling everything off its hanger and bundle it over my arm. I take this to the front door. Gabe has put the case in the back of the Ute so I just leave this lot at the door for him to collect too. I make three more trips, shoes, toiletries, hair straighteners, I had considered bringing these on the night I left but fear of making a noise as I unplugged them stopped me! My laptop and a few photos and personal bits are the last items. I stop at the front door as I’m leaving and look at all of the family photos on the hall table.
“Fuck Jay, what have you done to us? We were always so good, you were my best friend”
I say it out loud to a picture of us laughing into the camera. It was taken on holiday in Bali; we went with Jemma and Max, around fifteen years ago. We look so happy, then it occurs to me, when we got back to our room, the night this picture was taken, Jason had accused me of flirting with Jemma’s husband, we had an almighty blue and he had pushed me. I was holding a glass at the time and I fell, breaking it in my hand. I ended up with six stitches and a ruined holiday; Jason blaming it all on the fact that I'd had too much to drink and claiming he'd only given me a little shove and I fell because I was too drunk to stand. I let out a long breath I hadn't realised I was holding. I feel an overwhelming sense of sadness wash over me. Without even turning around I know Gabe is behind me. It's like a mild electrical current running between us. His arm is over my shoulder and he kisses my hair. I reach up and weave my fingers through his.
“You okay bubby?” he asks. I know if I speak, I will cry so I just shake my head no.
“Come on, let’s get you home” I nod in agreement. I close the front door, lock it and walk away. My emotions are raw and shot to pieces and I'm really struggling not to cry as we get in the car and drive away from my former life, another part of who I was gone.
Gabriel's phone rings and unfortunately for him, it's connected to the cars blue tooth.
“G’Day, Gabriel Wilde”
“Hey baby, how are you? Long time no see, or speak for that matter”
It's a woman, obviously, I doubt that any of Gabe’s mates would call him baby. I keep staring out of the window. Great, just what I need today!
“Who is this?”
“It’s Alyssa, Gabe”
“What can I do for you Alyssa?”
“Well don't sound too pleased to hear from me, will you?”
“Alyssa, you’re on blue tooth in my car and my girlfriend is listening, what do you want?”
Hee heee, I think to myself, he called me his girlfriend but he’s obviously on the phone to an ex, so I hold off on the smile.
“Ha, your girlfriend, that's funny. I have tickets for the Footy Grand Final and wondered if you wanted to come with me, we could make a night of it, get a hotel and stay over in the city?”
He turns to me and says “What do you think babe, do you mind if I go to the footy and stay in the city with Alyssa over night?”
He’s grinning from ear to ear. I shake my head at him, bastard,
“Sure baby, go for it”
His face is a picture as he shakes his head and mouths “WHAT” at me. I can't help but smile... That'll teach him, smart arse!
“Sorry Alyssa but I have plans for that Saturday so no but thanks for the invite… .And Alyssa, please don’t call me again, ever”
He ends the call before Alyssa can respond.
“I can't believe you said that” I try not to laugh but can't help myself. He shakes his head. “You are so gonna pay for that”
“You get a call from some random bird inviting you to a dirty night in the city and I'm gonna pay, I don't think so sunshine and who the fuck is fucking Alyssa anyway?”
He's still shaking his head.
“You sounded so English when you said that, I love it when you’re angry and that accent makes an appearance”
“Don’t avoid the question Gabriel, who is she?”
“Just some girl I hooked up with about a month or so ago, one of the few I saw more than once but that was it and I've not spoken to her since”
“Did you bang her?”
Do I really want to know this? Well I’ve asked now. Bring it on!
“Yes I banged her”
“Lots?”
“I only spent two nights with her but yes, I suppose over such a short period of time, it was lots yes”
We are back at his house, sitting in the car that’s now parked on the drive. I can’t make my legs move, so I stay in my seat.
“Was she good, in bed I mean?”
“Why are you doing this Lauren, why would you want to know these things, why are you punishing yourself like this?”
And there it is, it hits me. That's exactly what I'm doing. I feel guilty about going behind Jason's back and taking my stuff from the house, I feel guilty because I have had sex with another man and I feel guilty because, I do already have strong feelings for this other man. Punishment, that's what this is all about.
“Was she good Gabe? Just answer the fucking question”
“Yes the sex was good but that's all it was Lauren, sex, two people fucking, nothing else. I had and I have, no feelings for the woman what so ever, I haven't accepted her calls since the last time I saw her and If I wasn't driving today and had seen my caller ID I wouldn't have taken her call then. I can't change something that I did five weeks ago, something that happened before I even knew you existed”
I move to get out of the car but he leans across to grab the door and stops me
“Don’t get out without saying something, fucking talk to me Lauren, I'm sorry okay, I'm sorry she called and I'm sorry you heard but there's nothing there, she means nothing”
“I know”
“Good”
“Can we get out now?”
He lets go of my door and we both get out. We put all of my stuff in the guest room. I rummage through it and find a pair of jeans and my favourite hoodie. I slip my feet into a pair of thongs and go out to the family room.
“What was that? Exactly what did me telling you all of that achieve, what did it prove?”
He's seriously pissed and has every right to be. I've just caused an argument with him, to make me feel better about what I have done to my husband. Totally fucked up. I seriously need help.
“I'm sorry, I just lost it for a bit, it was hard, you know, going back there, then her calling and I just flipped, I'm sorry”
He shakes his head as he walks towards me. He pulls me gently to him and kisses me on the mouth, gently, softly, his tongue flicks in and out and over my lips and a moan escapes from me. Suddenly the world is better. He moves his head back and looks at me.
“Let’s not argue Lauren, especially about things we can't change” He kisses my nose as I nod and tell him I'm sorry, again.
I'm keen to hit the shops and keep busy, Gabriel has been so good to me, I don't want him to know how upset I am about taking all my stuff from my house this morning. It's another step closer to the end of my marriage and I still have to get to grips with this and the speed with which I've landed in this new relationship. It didn't go unnoticed that he had said earlier, ‘Let's go home’ and not ‘let's go back to mine’ I'm feeling a bit panicky about the speed with which my feelings are growing for him and I don't want to delay the work needing to be done on my new place so it’s ready in time for me to move into at the weekend, the longer I stay with Gabe, the faster my feelings are freefalling towards wanting things to work out between us and I really don’t know if that is what I need right now, I’m so confused and being so close to him doesn’t allow me to think clearly.
I think I need to put some space between us. I'm aware of how much I like him and I don't want my feelings to grow stronger, I know deep down, he's way out of my league and despite all that he's said, I still have this nagging doubt that I'm just another notch on his bedpost, despite all of his reassurances. Basically I’m an emotional mess and I need a
chance to draw breath.
“Right, I'm no longer naked; shall we go and look at paint and flooring?”
Gabe’s taken a beer from the fridge and has sat on a bar stool at the kitchen bench.
“Sit down for a sec' I wanna talk to you about something” he motions to the stool next to him with his beer. He takes a swig and tilts his head to one side, looking at me. He's holding the bottle under his chin, with his index finger tapping on his lips, he looks serious, and I see his Adams Apple move as he swallows, hard, as I climb up on the stool.
“I’ve been thinking” he says “or wondering, what do you think is going to happen, long term I mean, what do you see, for us?”
Here we go, the moving too quickly speech, lets slow things down, all of my bullshit and freaking out is too much for him. I don't know what to answer so simply say “I have no idea” My heart rate is increasing rapidly and I start to feel sick, he wants to end things, he’s guessed the depth of my feelings, I must be so obvious, whiney, needy, a complete mess basically but c'est la vie and all that, I'm a big girl, I will just pull up my big girl pants and get on with my life.
Yeah right who am I kidding? He is not the type of man one ever gets over, ever.
“Lauren. Laaaauuuuuurrrrrren are you listening to me?” he's waving his beer bottle in front of my face as he speaks
“Do you want me to go?” I ask him. What a mess, what a fucking mess my life has become.
“No Lauren, I don't want you to go, why would you say that? I love having you here, I don't want you to go now and I don't want you to go at the weekend” He says, he's now got a bemused look on his face and is shaking his head.
“What do you mean, go where at the weekend?” I'm totally confused, what am I missing
“I don't want you to move out of here and into the unit at the weekend. I want you to stay here, with me; if you want to?”
He’s speaking to me like I'm a child.
“You want me to move in here, with you, not the unit, here?” And it seems to be catching as I now sound like a child.
“Are you right?” he asks