“It’s happening. So it’s time for you to man up. Like I said, I have some expectations.”
“Expectations?” My voice is weak and unguarded. I glance up in time to catch her triumphant grin.
“Yes, we’ll discuss them over dinner tomorrow night. You can pick me up at seven.”
I don’t really comprehend what she’s said for a few seconds, until it hits me. “Wait, do you…? Are you saying…? What…?” I take a deep breath, gathering my thoughts. Stumbling through my words is a surefire way to let her think she’s gotten the upper hand.
I clear my throat and stand straighter. “Do you think this changes things between us?”
“Hell yes, it changes things. I didn’t sign up for this, and I’m sure as hell not doing it alone.”
“I’m not having dinner with you.”
“You sure as fuck are, and that’s just the beginning. Dinners, dates, doctor’s appointments.”
“You think having a baby is going to change the way I feel about you?”
“Let’s put it this way. Either you take responsibility or I terminate the pregnancy. I’m not going to be the laughing stock of my peers, landing knocked up without a partner.”
I fist my palm tight, letting my nails dig into the skin as I bite my cheek, to make sure I am really standing here and not in some deranged nightmare.
“You’d abort your child because of your reputation in your firm?” I stare at her in disbelief.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. Don’t act so self-righteous. You have no idea what it’s like.”
“Maybe I don’t, but let’s say you’re telling the truth and that is my baby. I have rights, too.”
“I’m pretty sure it’s my body.”
That’s when I know. She finally gives a tell. Whether or not this was the plan all along, she thinks she has me trapped. My lawyer mind finally kicks in, and I glare at her, crossing my arms. This woman is not going to trample all over me.
“I’ll be contacting my personal lawyer today. Once I speak with him and have a plan of action, one of us will contact you regarding a paternity test. Until then, I can’t tell you what to do, but I’d tread lightly, Sasha. If I find out you are telling the truth, and you do anything to hurt this child, your reputation is the last thing you’ll need to worry about.”
“Don’t threaten me, Ren. I’m not scared of you.”
Un-fucking-believable. So many snappy remarks pop into my head, but I have enough sense to keep my mouth shut. I walk to the door and open it, motioning it’s time for her to leave. She grabs her purse and storms past, anger radiating off her. She almost clears the area when she turns, walking back to Gail’s desk and dropping a business card.
“Gail, I presume?” She looks between Gail and me with a nasty scowl. “You’ll want to make sure he takes my calls and visits from now on. I’m not going to be shoved under the rug like a piece of trash.” She turns on her heel and stalks out.
Gail leaps up, coming into my office and shutting the door behind her. “She got in through the temp at the front. Angie is out sick today. I’m sorry I wasn’t here to intercept her.”
“It’s okay.” I fall down in my chair and run my hands through my hair. A headache starts to pound behind my eyelids.
Gail bends and places the fallen grainy photograph on my desk, but stays quiet, waiting for me to speak.
I can’t find the words because Sasha’s announcement keeps replaying. Suddenly, Bizzy’s face pops in my mind, along with the memory of our conversation last week about children. Her fear of not being able to conceive weighs heavily on her, and I vowed to spend the rest of my life proving to her that she was enough.
I’d thought about it long and hard, knowing I’d move mountains to have every specialist and professional in the world work with Bizzy to help her have our child. But in the end, if it didn’t happen, we’d adopt, and I’d be happy. Because the one thing I know I can’t live without is her.
Knowing there’s a chance that Sasha is pregnant will destroy Bizzy. Not only the fact that another woman is having my child, it’s Sasha.
The gravity of the situation starts to hit.
I break out in a cold sweat, imagining the look on Bizzy’s face and the devastation in her eyes. My stomach turns, and I drop to my knees, lurching for the trash bin. I stare at the black plastic until the wave passes and feel Gail put a damp cloth on the back of my neck.
“It’s going to be okay, Shaw. We’ll figure this out.”
I say a silent prayer, hoping she’s right.
Caldwell Banks has been a friend since law school and is probably one of the only men I’d trust with my situation right now. He’s only a year older, and like me, he’s built a solid reputation on his ability to get shit done.
Unlike me, he’s been with the same woman since college. He married her the month after we graduated law school and immediately started a family. Pictures clutter his office of his wife and children, and I pick one up as I sip my scotch.
“Leah never ages. Still beautiful,” I say, referring to his wife. “Not sure what she’s still doing with you.”
“Are you kidding? Look at me.” He points to himself and gives me his best smile.
“My point exactly.” I place the picture back on the corner of his desk.
“Ouch. Did you insist we meet immediately to insult me?”
“Nah, I need your advice. Tell me everything you know about paternity tests.”
He dives into his knowledge of what courts have ruled in the past and gives me a rundown of hypotheticals that I already know. Hell, my clients dodge pregnancy claims all the time. He’s helped me before. While he talks, I start pacing, listening close in case he tells me something I haven’t researched yet.
“Shaw, what’s really going on? Surely you know all these answers.”
“Yes, but this time it’s different. This time—” I throw back the rest of my drink and go to his sidebar to pour another. I need the liquid courage to even say it.
“This time, it’s me.”
He gives me a hard stare and, seeing my seriousness, lets out a low whistle. “Fuck me.”
“Not a chance. Fucking is what got me into this mess.”
“I assume by your expression and the way you’re sucking down scotch, this is a surprise?”
“Understatement of the year. If I had my way, I’d never see the woman again. As a matter of fact, that was my goal. Then she showed up unannounced at my office two days ago and dropped this bomb. According to her, there’s no doubt I am the father.”
“I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but how did this happen?”
“Don’t know. I’ve been asking myself that same exact thing for the last fifty-five hours. I was shit-faced, but I know I wore a condom. There was evidence of it the next morning. To be honest, I don’t remember anything about it.”
“Damn, man, I’m sorry. What can I do?”
“You can represent me. Be my go-between. I’m going to demand a paternity test, but this is going to get ugly. Really ugly. I need everything by the book.”
“Of course, but can’t you talk to her? If she was a one-time thing, this has to come as a surprise to her as well.”
I look at my friend and bark a dry laugh at his compassion. “I fucked her twice, on separate occasions. Never asked for her number, always drunk, and at random times. I was stupid enough to think we were on the same page—easy hook up, no strings. The last morning, when I was leaving, she practically demanded more, spouting that we were good together. I bolted and vowed to stay away.”
I take another drink, the liquid burning its way down my throat and settling like lead in my stomach.
“I don’t know what to say. Is there any way she’s lying about it being yours?”
“Hell yeah, that’s why we’re going to demand a paternity test. But the chances are good it’s mine. The timeline fits. Not only that, she’s threatening to abort the baby if
I don’t live up to her expectations.”
“You got yourself a honey pot?”
“No, worse. I got myself a Sasha Crane.”
“Holy shit.” Shock registers on his face and quickly turns to pity. “Why would you ever sleep with that narcissistic bitch?”
“It was a mistake; one that has obviously come back to bite me in the ass.”
He knows Sasha; hell, most of the legal community knows her, and not in a good way. Her dad is a decent lawyer with a reputable practice, but even his years of work haven’t remained untarnished by her.
“Did she tell you what she wants?”
“Yep, she wants me. She thinks she has me trapped.”
“How do you want to play this? We can be as nasty as you want, but you take the risk of running both your names through the mud. Not sure how it’ll turn out.”
“There’s more.” I decide to tell all. In a way, talking to Caldwell is therapeutic.
“Fuck my ass, there’s more?”
“I’ve met someone.”
“Listen, man, I’m all about living your life to the fullest and sowing your oats, but don’t you think you should slow down. We’ll handle one problem at a time. The last thing you need is two women pregnant.”
His words slam into me, and I fight the urge to throw the highball glass against the wall. Anger swirls around the room as blood roars in my ears. I swallow once, twice, a third time, trying to tame down the fury building.
He notices the change and flings his hands in the air, his face losing some of its color.
“Whoa! Calm down. I’m only stating the obvious here.”
“I’ll let it slide because you’re in the dark to the situation, but when I say I’ve met someone, I should say she’s the one. The one woman on this earth meant to be mine. I’m not only in love, she is my everything. I can’t see a future without her, and this thing with Sasha has the opportunity to send my world into a spiral. If the baby is mine, so be it, but I have to be one-thousand percent certain before I rip the wound open for Bizzy.”
Recognition washes over him, and he hangs his head for a quick second before focusing back on me. “Bizzy—as in Lizbeth Hastings? Nick’s best friend?”
“One and the same, except now she’s mine. And if you thought I was protective before, you have no idea of the new depth of devotion. There’s a history between Bizzy and Sasha, one that I never knew about until recently, so as you can see, I have a lot more at stake than just a lifetime of being tied to the selfish, malicious, and heartless bitch.”
He nods, taking a sip of his own scotch, and I can see the wheels spinning. I know this move well; he’s got something to say, but he’s trying to figure out the best way to do it.
“Say it,” I push him. “I can handle it.”
“No other way to phrase this, so I’ll just come out and say it. You’ve been pretty honest about your feelings toward Sasha. Her name on your lips is like acid. So if you feel this strongly, why would you fight her on the abortion? I’m not asking as a father or as a friend. I’m asking as a lawyer.”
I’ve come this far, might as well go all in. “Two reasons, and both are purely selfish. One, because I’m not going to let her have that much control over me. If there’s any chance she did this to trap me, she’s going to be sorely surprised. I’ll never interfere with her right to choose if the baby threatens her health, but as of now, that baby could be my blood and I won’t let them die without a fight.”
He nods in understanding then raises an eyebrow for me to continue.
“Secondly.” I pause. Shit, am I really going to tell him? “Bizzy may not be able to have children.” Saying it out loud hits a whole new level of reality. Do I really want a child with Sasha? The answer is irrevocably no, but I also don’t want to lose a child that could be mine.
On my last word, he drops his head and blows out a deep breath. Now, he gets it.
“To be clear, there’s no chance you can reconcile with Sasha. You want me to go full throttle with this.”
“No chance. Sasha Crane means nothing to me. That’s why you need to help me handle this. You’re a non-emotional party who can think on your feet and make decisions that I may stall. It’s too close to me, and I can’t take the risk of messing anything up. Once Sasha realizes she has no control, she’s going to come out fighting mad.”
“Okay, I’ll have an update for you on Monday morning with my recommendation. My first thought is the non-invasive prenatal paternity. She’ll have to give a blood sample, and we’ll get a DNA swab from you.”
“That’s what I was thinking, so let’s stick with that train of thought. Once we confirm or negate her claims, I can move forward with my plans to deal with her.”
“Okay.”
“One more thing. This all has to be extremely confidential. The only other person who knows is Gail.”
“Understood, but what about Bizzy?”
The pain in my chest starts to throb, the same ache that’s been there since Sasha showed up on Wednesday. I don’t have any answer for him, but in truth, I don’t know what to say.
Chapter 14
Bizzy
I listen to the voicemail for the third time, trying to pick up any type of clue from Shaw’s tone. He doesn’t sound off, just tired. The last week has been hell, and I wish I could do something to help. Even when I’ve popped into the office to surprise him with lunch, he’s been distracted.
Tonight, we had plans to go out to dinner, but his latest message left him canceling due to a late night endorsement negotiation. He’s done nothing to make me worry about us, but I’ve been feeling uneasy for days. Each time I bring it up, he tells me that nothing is bothering him except some pressing things with work.
My phone rings in my hand, and I see Nicky’s goofy face.
“Hey.” I try to sound casual and not disappointed.
“Heard your date ditched you tonight so you’re free.”
My heart does a little flutter. Shaw called him.
“It so happens that I have another date lined up with my DVR.”
“How about letting your favorite man come over and bring dinner. We’ll chill out, and you can tell me how great I was in Sunday’s game.”
I giggle into the phone. “Do you really need your ego stroked that badly?”
“Hell yeah. Since you’ve been dating my dipshit brother, you’re always busy. And besides, I heard you’ve been getting cozy with Darren Jackson. Think it’s time I remind you there’s only one football player in your life.”
“Oh my God! You’re ridiculous. I’d hardly count a few text messages as cozying up to him. He’s nice. He’s also got a big heart. I think he’s going to get involved with the children’s cancer group in Tampa.”
“Fucking suck-up.”
“Nicky!”
“Okay, I’m kidding. But, seriously, you up for company? I can be there in thirty minutes.”
“I’d love it. I have a full bottle of wine chilling.”
“I’ll bring beer.” He disconnects, and I immediately dial Shaw.
“Beautiful,” he answers. His voice is low and there’s murmuring in the background.
“You sending your brother to babysit?”
“No, I’m sending him to make sure you get a decent meal and have some fun.”
“I can take care of myself.”
“You can, but it’s unnecessary.”
I sigh, the nagging feeling returning.
“Biz, is something wrong?”
“No, I’m disappointed about our plans being canceled.”
“Dammit,” he hisses, and I hear him moving, the voices in the background growing faint.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”
“No, I’m sorry. Have I upset you? Are you angry?”
“Of course not. There’s a huge difference in anger and disappointment.”
“I’ll make it up to you. Tell me we’re okay.”
His words set off an alarm inside.
“Why wouldn’t we be? You have to work. I’m being selfish.”
“Stop. You are the most selfless person I know. I’ll cancel tonight if it’s going to upset you.”
“Shaw, what’s gotten into you? I’m fine. Don’t cancel your meeting. I’m sorry I said anything.”
He lets out a loud breath, signaling his own disappointment. “I’ll be there in a few hours. Tomorrow morning, I cleared my schedule so I can spend some time with you, alone.”
“Sweetie, are you okay? Something seems off.”
“Yes, I’m fine. I miss you like crazy. Knowing you have to work the next four nights fucking sucks.”
I wait for him to mention me moving in again, but he doesn’t. He hasn’t pushed in over a week.
In reality, I wanted to pack up and move the minute he asked. Living together would be another dream come true for me, but the little bit of my brain that wasn’t consumed with love-lust told me to take a little time to think about it. Maybe I was too harsh and he took it the wrong way? Or maybe he’s changed his mind? The thought makes my stomach ache.
“You still there?” He breaks through my thoughts, and I realize he’s waiting on me to respond.
“Yes, sorry, I zoned out for a second. Are you going to be late tonight? I’ll wait up for you.”
“I won’t be too late. I’ll call when I’m on my way.”
I decide to break the silence on the moving issue, wanting to hear his reaction.
“When you get here, we need to talk about a few things. Primarily, my move.”
He blows out a deep breath, and my skin tingles, as if I can actually feel the warmth through the phone.
“Are you saying what I think you are?”
“Yes.” I give him my definitive answer.
“Jesus Christ. Thank you, God. Bizzy, you have no idea how happy that makes me. I needed to hear that, more than you’ll ever know.”
All my insecurities fly out of my mind. “Love you, Shaw.”
“I’ll see you soon.”
He hangs up and I giggle to myself, feeling like excited butterflies are dancing around my entire body. I feel like a fool for being so sensitive. He loves me, and I need to stop thinking the worst. It’s time I live in the moment and trust Shaw completely.
Hotshot Page 12