by India Kells
Lance turned and winked at her. “Please, oh please, make him tall, dark, and handsome. I have a fondness for muscled, hairy chests.”
Now she couldn’t help but laugh. “If only it was that easy, Lance. Can I ask you a question?”
“Anything, sweetheart.”
“Where are we going and how the hell could you reach us so quickly?”
Lance shrugged. “Beatrice is waiting in one of our safe houses nearby. That’s the reason why I’m here. She decided to take a plane and keep a closer eye on you two. On the same jump, she asked me to stay close, just in case. And she seemed to have been right. That lady has a killer instinct. As the Purgatory computer system is still compromised with limited access, we did the whole setup the old-fashioned way. Phones and faxes. In fact, we won’t stay long at the place we’re going, because it’s known to be Purgatory’s.” Lance glanced at her again, and then at Owen. “Why don’t you both get some shut eye? It will be a couple more hours before we arrive, and you don’t know when you’ll be able to sleep next.”
Owen muttered something to his brother, but Dylan didn’t care. Her body was in dire need of sleep and Lance’s offer acted like a switch. Her head against the cool glass of the door, her legs extended on the backseat, she drifted to sleep hearing the rumble of Owen’s voice in her ears.
Chapter 10
If she had a say about it, Dylan would never wake up again. She liked to sleep, as it was the only place where everything was peaceful and calm … well, when the monsters decided to keep away from her. It was where she could let her guard down and wonder. And sometimes, when her dreams were soft and warm, she could indulge in what she remembered of touch, caresses, and pleasure. Such as now, still in slumber, she felt a tender touch on her cheek. The heated skin against her made her heart ache a little. It had been so long since she got such a contact from another human being.
How strange that this fictional touch raised her out of sleep, gently and oh so slowly. When her eyes opened, she tried to hold on to that sensation, but the first thing she realized was that the car had stopped. Second, eyes were on her—the blue, intense gaze of Owen. He was turned back from the passenger seat. The skin of her cheek tingled. Had he touched her? Part of her longed for more of it, the other was appalled. Again.
“Sleepy head, we’ve arrived.” His voice was so low and gruff, he must only have awakened himself.
Dylan nodded, her eyes blinking several times, pushing the heavy veil of sleep from her eyes as she peered through the window. A farm house. Classic safe house. And beautiful, too. Dawn slowly colored the sky, pouring brightness over the landscape.
Stepping out of the car, she stretched. Owen remained by her side, scanning the area. His posture seemed relaxed, but by now, she knew better.
“You know it’s supposed to be a safe house, owned by Purgatory to boot? So maybe you can relax, even just half an inch.”
Blue laser beams settled on her. “I’m not trusting any place, safe house or not. Purgatory’s safety has been compromised, so there is no way to know if they don’t have this address or aren’t searching for us.”
Dylan looked around. “About my safety, we need to talk.”
Owen turned to her, his stance relaxed even more. Not a good sign.
“I don’t need protection anymore. With Beatrice here, it’s better if you step down. Especially now.”
He simply nodded. “I will, if you give me one good reason to do it.”
She agreed. “I have a good one. When I cross the threshold, I’m going to come clean with something very bad I did. Something that makes me a liability, and a security threat. Don’t tell me you haven’t peeked at the papers we have found at the warehouse.”
Owen retrieved the crumpled pieces paper from his jacket. “I have read them all, but they led to government sites, codes, and some other things I cannot access or verify without a kickass secured computer.”
“Yeah, it may be for the best. Not only could knowing what I do make you an accomplice, but discovering it will make you hate me. Bad.”
As his brow creased, she didn’t know if she detected derision or curiosity from him.
“It’s serious, Owen. The information you could find on these papers, what I will reveal to Beatrice will jeopardize your career, your life. You’re a Navy SEAL, you’re honorable, you’re decorated. Don’t lose everything because you think you must protect me. It’s serious stuff. I will remind Beatrice of this, too. She has a lot to lose. And don’t worry, I’m not thinking about running. If it were up to me, I would already have disappeared.”
“So why warn me?”
She smiled faintly. “Because I’m not all that bad. I had been an upstanding citizen for most of my life. And because you’re a good man. You deserve the chance to protect the life you have made for yourself.”
Casually, he rubbed his beard, looking around. She followed his movement and saw that Lance was waiting by the door, his shoulder propped on the jamb, bulging arms crossed.
“I see. That’s the cop in you, isn’t it? It must be difficult to make peace with both parts of yourself in your mind; the cop and the so-called criminal.”
“I made a choice, Owen. I have learned to live with it.”
“I’m not so sure about that. I don’t think you have shed your skin completely. You’re still seeing the world as black or white. You may not know what a dark operative does on missions, but we’re drowning in grays. You see me as a good guy, however I’ve done some nasty things. Actions I still have trouble forgiving myself for.”
“And why did you do those awful things? Let me guess, because it’s your duty, it protected the home front, family, friends, innocents? Am I far off from the truth?”
He shook his head. “Not that far. How far would you go for what is important to you?”
“I’ll never know the answer to this question, as I went ever further for shallow reasons such as pain, pride, ego, and anger. If I hadn’t snapped out of it, I could very well have been the next target in your visor.”
“You’re too hard on yourself.”
Dylan angled her head. “And surprisingly, you see good when there is none. Be careful, Owen. You’re becoming a big softy Navy SEAL. And worst of all, you have no self-preservation.”
He took a step closer and Dylan refrained from taking a step back. He had to understand, for his own sake.
“Say it, let it out. You have no control over me, what I think, or what I will do, Dylan. The only control you have is on what you say and act and think. Do say what you hide so deep down inside yourself. That dark corner that seems so evil in your cop’s eyes.”
And again, he was right. And it was more than time to lay it all out.
“After I was cleared by the doctors, when they said that my body had recovered, I wasn’t myself. I was a shadow. My body still hurt. Somehow, every waking hour was filled with pain, and at night, I would relive the torture over and over again. I went to therapy, but it didn’t help. I tried to go back to work, it was pure agony. I couldn’t push passed what I endured, and I couldn’t understand the person I was at that moment, whom I was forced to become. All I felt was pain, growing each and every day like a disease. So I quit. I quit work, I quit my friends, I shut everyone out and holed up in my apartment. After all the money I had received, I could become a hermit for the rest of my existence, living my whole life in isolation until I died, with only the smell of decay signaling my demise. But something happened. Pain turned to anger. Anger and rage. I’ve never felt that emotion so strong in me before. Never that consuming that I could taste it. It blurred the lines in my mind, made me … different.”
“How different?”
Reliving the memory of how she felt at that moment, she lifted her head in a defiant way, arching an eyebrow. “Let’s put it this way … if I had lost so much, I wouldn’t be the only one. Everyone else would too.”
But all that venom and spit evaporated as quickly as they came and Dylan closed her eyes, exhaling softly. He wa
s waiting. And there it was.
“I’ve always had a talent with computers. Even as a cop, I was the backup when they couldn’t find some cybercriminal. Often, my captain would beg me to switch to the cyber team, but I liked where I was, the difference I could make at Homicide. It’s only when I was deep in my pity party that I started brushing up my skills. To the point where I could do some amazing things. The problem was that when I turned into an anger machine, my skills took a detour. I didn’t want to test boundaries, I wanted to break them down and burn them to the ground. I was one of the good guys, right? And being a good guy sucked. There shouldn’t be good guys out there being thrown onto the ground, and trampled on. My crazy and illogical thoughts spiraled into one single vortex, a mission.”
For what she was about to say next, she lifted her head and looked him straight in the eyes. “I broke into secured government sites, and stole the names, ranks, addresses, missions, files, and pictures of every soldier, sailor, airman or secret operative that Uncle Sam had on its payroll.”
The sun started to rise slowly over the horizon, bringing warmth over the valley, but under Owen’s gaze, Dylan never felt so cold in her life.
“I think this is where I can say I told you so, isn’t it? Yes, it’s that bad. And it’s getting worse. Do you really want to hear the rest?”
Owen stood so still, she wondered if he had heard what she had said. His jaw barely relaxed to let through the next words. “I guess if I’m still talking right now it’s because you haven’t sold that list to the bad guys. What did you do with it?”
“That’s the thing, once I had poured all my pain and rage into getting the lists, at making someone pay, I froze. What was I going to do with that information? What was the point of all this? What was the point of being like this, or living at all? I scrolled down the lists, the files. I opened some of them, really looked at these men and women. They were the ones worthy. The honorable and courageous. What I had accomplished, even if amazing, was the act of a coward. I was the coward. I had choices to make. At that instant, my phone rang, and the decision was made for me. Beatrice called, asking for my help. She had saved me; and it was time for payback.”
“You destroyed the list when you decided to work for Beatrice?”
Dylan shook her head. “Destroying that list is not that simple.”
“No, you’re right.” Dylan winced when she heard Beatrice’s voice at her back. She turned to find her boss behind her, now fully appraised of what she had done. Did Owen know and let me go on, for my friend to hear?
For a long moment, Beatrice stood there, staring at her in her dark green eyes and short red hair as if she wasn’t sure who she had in front of her anymore.
“Damn, Dylan. Why did you keep this from me? I thought that Morton was officially after you because of your hacker skills, not because of national security threats!”
“You know the state I was in when you first asked for my help.”
“Yes, but after. Way after. You could have told me. Do you know what you’re holding on to? It’s not just dangerous information, it could kill thousands of good men and women, put the country in harm’s way.”
“I know!” Something exploded inside of her as she shouted back. “I know what I did, and for years now I’ve been trying to find a way to dispose of that list. You know that nothing is ever deleted or gone. I encrypted it, renamed it, shoved it around, and buried it under layers and layers of security until I could figure out what to do with it. And now, it’s compromised.”
“What?” If possible, the mighty Beatrice Dante blanched.
Dylan told her about what they found in that warehouse, and the papers stapled over Dee. “And a few of them looked like they were from past locations where I hid the list. That being said, I don’t know if that creep has the list at the moment or could only decrypt it partially. I think he’s following the breadcrumbs in hope he finds the list. He’s interested in me on many levels, enough to dig into what I did. The stolen data is something that had been known by the authorities, but nobody was named. Now, they have a name. Mine. The copycat is not only tracking me, he’s trying to draw me out.”
Crossing her arms, Beatrice frowned. “The attack on our servers, the pictures, the people killed replicating the Knudson case … is the proof that he has tracked you and found some traces. In a twisted way, it makes sense.”
“And now, he’s destroying her anonymity, forcing her out or to dig herself even deeper underground.” Owen nodded to Beatrice.
“Beatrice, I’m a risk to Purgatory. It’s known that Dogberry worked for you. And if it’s revealed that Dogberry and I are the same person, it could have a serious impact on you. Especially if they believe that I also stole secret government information.”
Beatrice harrumphed, shrugging her shoulders and looking around. “That won’t be a problem.”
“You’re fooling yourself, and your dear husband would agree with me on this. You have to protect Purgatory. You must cut all ties you have with me, on all levels. Deny you have ever worked with me or requested my services. Otherwise, you will be brought down, and you know very well, that Purgatory has already too many skeletons in its closet not to protect them.”
“You can’t be serious, Dylan.” Beatrice shook her head.
“I am. This is about sacrificing myself. I won’t go down without a fight. But the priority is to protect your own.”
“You’re my own!”
Dylan swallowed hard. “Not anymore. Not with what you know, not until I can bring that psycho to justice or kill him. And even then, I may go directly to prison. Hell, I will go to prison for what I did if that hacker has gathered enough evidence against me. For me, for the sake of everybody involved, the most important thing is to make sure that the copycat doesn’t have the complete list. That’s all that matters. You must see that.”
Beatrice looked at Owen and then back at her. “And how do you intend to do that? With the police and God knows who on your tail?”
“I will wipe everything that I can. And become the predator instead of the prey. I will reset a base of operations and do everything I can to retrace that creep’s steps that led him to me. Nobody is completely invisible. We all know that now.”
Owen came by her side. “And how will you start?”
Dylan looked up at him and shook her head. “I’m not telling you. Only know that on my life. I will never let the list go … I will kill myself before letting it go.”
Beatrice nodded. “Okay. We don’t have any choice. I trust your judgment and I know you’re right. We must do damage control. It won’t be easy, but I’m owed enough favors I think it can be done. I accept your terms, Dylan, but on two conditions. First, this is only temporary. I will keep out and away, but if you ever need my help, promise me you’ll reach out. Second, let me help you for the first step.”
Dylan frowned. “What first step?”
“Safe passage. I’ll get you a clean car and money. You can lie under the radar for a while longer. At least until you settle in a secure location.”
Dylan smiled. “You set a tough bargain, Bea. But I agree.”
Beatrice nodded and walked to the farmhouse. That had been easier than she anticipated, and as it was a rare gift from her friend, she would take it without asking questions.
“Where will you go?”
Owen. He was the last hurdle, the most stubborn one she suspected.
Turning, she looked him in the eyes. “You know I cannot tell you.”
“Do you even know where you’re going?”
Now she only smiled. He saw right through her, but no need to tell him that.
“Owen, thank you for everything you have done. In the last few days, my world has been turned upside down … again. And you remained by my side. What is said about the Sorenson men is true. You’re good people. Now it is time to protect other good people. Beatrice will need all of you as her shield to make it through the storm I created.”
He nodded. �
��I see what you’re saying. And to be honest, I’m still mad at you for what you have done. You had no right to put so many people at risk. And they still are. It’s unacceptable.”
It surprised her how much his words cut through her. But she accepted it. After all, that was what redemption was all about. But when he looked at her, she didn’t see complete disdain or anger.
“What I can promise you, Dylan, is that I will do everything in my power to protect what is the most important for Beatrice. On that you have my promise.” With his words, he extended his hand to her.
And she took it, happy to have that last contact, to have a chance to memorize his face. “Thank you, Owen. Just thank you.”
As she turned to the farmhouse, Owen touched her shoulder. “And you have to start believing you’re back as the good people, too. Because if you had been completely bad, you wouldn’t have brought sandwiches to an old homeless man, or closed the eyes of your murdered friend. Bad people don’t do that.”