by Exley Avis
When she looked up at me for reassurance I tried to pull my features into a confident expression. “Trust me,” I said. “I’m a lawyer. Everything will be fine.”
I opened my arms to her and she came to me willingly, inhaling the scent of me and absorbing my heat. She was trembling slightly but I put it down to exhaustion. It felt strange to hold her and have clothes in the way. I was wishing already that I could wrap her in my arms again while she went to sleep.
“We should agree on a story,” I said. “It’s best that people don’t know what we’ve been doing this weekend.”
“I wouldn’t tell my closest friends what we’ve been doing this weekend,” Allie said, laughing. “I’d get arrested for lewd behaviour.”
I had to agree she had a point. “Where will you say you were?” I asked. “You can’t admit to being naked at Claridges for two whole days.”
She thought for a moment. “I was at my brother’s for a party. I forgot to take my phone charger.”
“Okay. I was with friends on the south coast.”
“Do you even have friends on the south coast?”
“Come to my flat tomorrow night and you’ll find out,” I promised, scribbling down my address. “And call me as soon as you get out of your meeting tomorrow. I want to know you’re okay.”
“I will.” Allie reached up and kissed me lightly. “The bed will seem far too big without you tonight.”
“I could always stay…” I felt I had to do the gentlemanly thing and offer.
“No way.” She pushed me away from her and held me at a distance. “I’m going to take a shower and then sleep. I have an early start tomorrow.”
“I suppose phone sex is out of the question.”
She pointed at her mobile, sitting on the kitchen worktop, charging. “Sorry. Nothing doing. My battery’s dead – and so is yours.” Her lips twitched with a suppressed smile while she tried to look cross. “You have a taxi waiting. You’d better go.”
“I don’t want to.” I sounded like some love-struck teenage boy, not a cynical serial dater, and cringed.
“I’ll see you again in less than twenty-four hours.”
“Lock up and sweet dreams.”
Allie gave me a wicked smile and one last lingering kiss that made me want to overrule all her objections and stay. “If you stray into my dreams I can guarantee they’ll be anything but sweet. They’ll be very, very naughty indeed.”
Chapter Nine.
“What do you mean, I’m sacked?” I demanded, unable to believe what I was hearing. “You can’t do this.”
“We can and we have, Miss Lawless,” the senior partner said, speaking on behalf of the other five men around the table. “We need you to clear your desk right now and leave. Security will escort you out of the building.”
“But this is ridiculous,” I argued. “You have no grounds for dismissal. Daniel Greene attacked me and I fought him off. Where am I at fault? Should I have let him rape me?” I was on my feet, fighting back the tears, desperate not to let them know how much I was panicking.
“His version of events is that you lead him on all night and then invited him back to your flat.”
“Rubbish. I had to tip a glass of wine over him to get him off me. Even the police realised there was no case to answer.”
The senior partner shook his head, obviously not prepared to listen to a word in my own defence. “Criminal charges and gross professional misconduct are very different things. You have not acted in a manner befitting a member of this firm.”
Manner befitting. Who were they trying to kid? I knew at least three of them had had affairs and another had lost his licence for drink-driving last year. Hypocrites.
I pulled out my mobile. “Call Radford Byrne. He was there. He’ll tell you exactly what happened.”
“I doubt it. The clients are also lodging a complaint against him with the Bar Standards Board alleging professional misconduct. He’ll be too tied up in his own case to ride to your rescue.”
“I’ll sue,” I warned. “This is unlawful dismissal.”
“Be our guest.” The threat apparently didn’t worry the partners. “We’re a major law firm with unlimited funds. If I were you, I’d think twice before issuing proceedings.”
“Are you trying to intimidate me?”
“No. Simply reminding you that you’ve lost this firm hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of business. Not only have the Greenes taken away the Zeus Developments case, they’ve withdrawn all of their business from the firm. Property transactions, commercial law, employment issues, private trusts for the family. All gone. Every department’s going to suffer.” He stood up, signalling the meeting was at an end. “I should imagine it will be far less embarrassing for you to leave before the rest of the staff arrive.”
Dread solidified the pit of my stomach. They really meant to do this and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. “You haven’t heard the last of this,” I warned.
“For your sake, I hope we have. The legal community’s a very incestuous one. Nobody wants to employ a troublemaker, and bad news travels fast.”
I glared at him, knowing the firm held all the cards and I was basically out in the cold. What could an assistant solicitor do against the collected might of a huge City law partnership? Again I fought back tears of anger and frustration, and marched out of the conference room while my dignity remained intact.
I grabbed storage boxes on my way back up to my office and began throwing my books and papers into them, conscious of the security guard standing out in the corridor watching me. As if being sacked weren’t bad enough, I was being made to feel like some kind of criminal too.
Mike hobbled into my office, took one look at the security guard and slammed the door in his face. “Is it true?” he asked. “Have they really sacked you?”
The glint of tears in my eyes told him everything he needed to know. He put down his crutches and held out his arms to me. I went to him, grateful for the comfort, my mind scrambling to take in what had just happened.
“Why?” Mike asked. “What have you done?”
“Apparently, because of me, Zeus Developments have withdrawn all their business from the firm,” I said, still fuming. “And they’ve reported Radford Byrne to the Bar Standards Board.”
“Oh my God.” He couldn’t hide his shock. “What did you do to make them that angry? The case hasn’t even come to trial yet.”
Mike might as well hear it from me as from anyone. “Daniel Greene got drunk, followed me home and tried it on.” I pointed to the bruise on my cheek and my split lip. “Radford came to my rescue and laid him out. An hour later, the police arrived to arrest Radford and I gave a witness statement.”
The story obviously didn’t add up for Mike because he frowned. “So you were still with Radford when he was arrested?”
I could see the cogs whirring inside his head. So much for keeping things discreet, I thought. “Radford’s eyebrow split open in the fight and I took him upstairs to patch him up. He hung around for a while in case Daniel came back. The police arrived instead.”
“Was Radford charged?”
“No, thank heavens. But his lawyer advised me to press charges against Daniel. For the good of the firm, I didn’t. I wish I had now.”
“Did Greene come back over the weekend?”
I blushed crimson but realised there was no point in keeping secrets from Mike, the friend I’d trained beside and worked closely with for six years. Particularly not now my career had gone up in flames. He might as well know how much of a fool I’d been.
I picked up a tissue and wiped my eyes. “I don’t know. I wasn’t there. I spent the weekend at Claridges with Radford Byrne.”
“What?” Mike let me go and took a step back. I saw the anger in his eyes and winced. “Bastard! How dare he take advantage of you when you’re vulnerable?”
“He didn’t.” I jumped to Radford’s defence and decided Mike may as well know everything – that I was p
repared to fall into bed with a man I hardly knew. “I booked the hotel room while he was being questioned. If anyone did the seducing, it was me.”
“Jesus, Allie!” Mike raked his hand through his hair and struggled to hide his disapproval. “What happened to your golden rule?”
“I know. I messed up. Big time.” I swept my arm around me at the half filled boxes. “Thanks for pointing it out though.”
Unable to stand any longer, Mike lowered himself down heavily onto a chair. He could hardly look me in the eye. I couldn’t work out whether he was angry, disappointed in me or just jealous of Radford.
“What are you going to do?” he asked.
“You tell me. The partners were quick to point out that every law firm in London will know I’ve been sacked by the end of the day. And they’re hardly going to write me a glowing reference.”
“You don’t deserve this,” Mike said, stating the obvious. “None of this is your fault.”
“No. But it’s my problem and I’ve just got to deal with it. If I’m stupid enough to get myself into this mess, I need to be clever enough to figure a way out of it.”
“Can I help?”
“No. This is between Radford and me. The fewer witnesses the better.
I sat in a coffee shop in The Strand. halfway through my third latte of the morning. Across the road was the alleyway leading down into Temple where Radford was no doubt going crazy because he hadn’t yet heard from me. I’d had half a dozen calls from him already but had ignored them all. I hadn’t worked out yet what to say.
Eventually Mike texted me to say Radford had been in touch with him and that I needed to call Radford urgently. I couldn’t put it off any longer and my sacking wasn’t exactly a conversation I could have with Radford over the phone.
Pulling all my courage together therefore, I texted him and said I’d meet him outside his chambers in ten minutes.
He was already waiting on the steps outside his building when I rounded the corner. I’d imagined seeing him again under very different circumstances so I couldn’t help imagining what was going on under that well-cut charcoal suit or appreciating how the pale blue shirt complemented his eyes.
Lawyer he may have been but he still took gorgeous to illegal levels.
Upon seeing me, he let out a huge sigh of relief and the beginnings of a smile lit his face. It soon faded, however, when he saw how pale and shaken I was.
“I’m so sorry,” he said, reaching out to take me into his arms but I dodged out of the way. I didn’t want half of London’s legal profession seeing me crying on his shoulder. Heaven only knows what trouble they might have imagined between us. “Come inside,” he said. “I’ll get you a coffee.”
I shook my head. “I’ve had enough coffee to float a battleship today. Let’s walk. The fresh air might clear my head.”
He fell into step beside me, through the cobbled courtyards and into the gardens where we found a bench in the sun and sat down. His hand reached automatically for mine but I shook it off and put as much distance as I could between us. Touching him would only cloud my judgement.
“Mike told me what happened,” he began. “I’m so sorry.”
“Not as sorry as I am,” I snapped. “I told you getting involved was career suicide.”
“Now hang on a minute.” Radford raised his hands in front of him as if surrendering. “This is down to Daniel Greene, not me. If I hadn’t stepped in, God only knows what would have happened.”
He was right but clarifying the sequence of events hardly got me my job back. “But if I hadn’t worn such a provocative dress or been so desperate to flirt with you, Greene might have picked up different vibes. He thinks I made all that effort for him.”
“He has no right to assume that.” Radford paled with anger. “Being beautiful doesn’t give men an automatic right to come on to you.”
“Well you did.”
“What?”
“Made it clear you wanted to go to bed with me.”
“Well can you blame me? You didn’t exactly make yourself unavailable.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I demanded. “Are you saying this is my fault? That I deserved this?”
Radford did a double take. “What? No! Of course not. But you’re insinuating that I made all the running when you were as eager to fall into bed as I was.”
I got up and walked away from him, struggling to keep a lid on my temper. I don’t know what I’d expected from Radford – support, sympathy or maybe even some practical suggestions – but I obviously wasn’t going to get any help.
“Look, I’m sorry.” Radford was at my side and turning me to face him. “That came out all wrong. I’ve been worried sick about you all morning.”
He tried to put his arms around me but I stepped away. Once he touched me, I knew every ounce of common sense would drain from me to be replaced with longing. I needed to focus right now, not return to the fantasy we’d created in the hotel suite over the weekend.
“I’m sorry too,” I said, covering my face and letting out a long sigh despair. “I’m still in shock. My life’s fallen apart around me and I don’t know what to do.”
“Then let me help,” Radford offered.
His handsome face puckered with concern and helplessness, pulling his black eye tight and he touched his cheekbone lightly. He winced slightly in pain and a shaft of sympathy shot through me but it was short lived.
“Come back to my flat. I’ll make some calls,” he was offering. “I could find you half a dozen openings before the end of the day.”
As if I’d fall for that. Within ten minutes we’d be in bed together, my career forgotten for another few hours. No matter how tempting, the answer to my problems wouldn’t be found between Radford’s sheets.
“I can’t.” I refused to weaken even though I longed to lay my head on his shoulder and sob my heart out. “I need some time to let the dust settle.”
“That’s a great idea. Let’s get away for a couple of weeks while we work out what to do. Now I’ve lost the Zeus Developments case, my diary’s empty.”
The idea of lying beside Radford on a beach for two weeks brought a blush to my cheeks. Hot sun during the day and an even hotter man in bed with me at night time.
But it would only be delaying the inevitable. We’d be falling deeper into fantasy when, what I really needed, was a healthy dose of reality loaded in my favour.
“Getting involved with you was my first mistake,” I said. “I’m not about to make a second.”
“Mistake?” Radford stared back at me in disbelief. “How can you call the weekend a mistake? It was incredible. We were incredible together.”
He was right but the need for self preservation was stronger and I answered him sharply. “It was lust. Pure and simple,” I said. “Excitement. Libido. The thrill of the chase. Call it what you like. But that kind of relationship has a very limited shelf life.”
Radford shook his head in disbelief. “It was far more than that and you know it. We have a connection. I felt it the first moment I saw you and the weekend only proved it to me. We’re at the start of something very special.”
I’d picked the wrong man to argue with – one who instinctively went in search of the truth. The weekend might have been all about the sex and the physical experience but underpinning it had been something far more profound. Radford wasn’t a man who’d bore me over breakfast in a week’s time. He was someone who needed unwrapping layer by layer until I found the heart beating at the centre.
And I already knew that, the more I learned about him, the more I’d come to care for and respect him.
Only every time I looked at him, I’d remember who I’d been with the weekend my career imploded and I’d probably always blame him for it. No great relationship begins with recriminations – there’s only one place to go from there.
And Radford deserved better than that.
“Was it so special?” I asked honestly, knowing Radford would pick up on an
y hint of a lie. “The sex was unbelievable, the best I’ve ever had. And you’re gorgeous. Handsome, intelligent, funny, sexy.”
“Then what’s the problem?” Clever as he was, he couldn’t work it out for himself.
But then I wasn’t sure about any of it either.
“My career has been my priority since I left university. I’m fantastic at my job and I love going to work every morning. At twenty-eight, and with four years’ post-qualification experience, I was almost guaranteed a junior partnership next year. Suddenly, it’s all gone.”
“I still don’t see what that has to do with us.”
I willed myself to be strong. “Because after so many years of putting myself first, I don’t have the energy to start thinking about someone else at a time like this. I need to get my life back on track. Find another job. Start building my career back up. My work defines me. It’s who I am. There’ll be no space left for a relationship.”
“Take some time alone,” he urged. “There’s no need for a quick decision. If you want me to back off, that’s fine. I’ll leave you to yourself for a few days. Call me when you’re ready to see me again.”
He clearly hadn’t understood. “I’m not talking about a few days apart. I’m talking about ending this right here.”
“What?” He stood before me incredulous, his poor, blackened eye swollen half closed. “You won’t even give us a chance?”
“What if I did?” I rounded on him. I’d spent the whole morning agonising over this and hadn’t been able to come up with any other solution. “We could take a few weeks off. Travel around Europe. Spend every day and night together. But, given our track records, we’d not last any longer than that.” I paused, waiting for Radford to jump in and disagree but he simply stood there, scowling. “A month later, I’d land back in England with no job, no relationship and still no idea what I was going to do with my life.”
“It wouldn’t be like that.”
He took a step forward and slid his hands around my hips. My mutinous body responded, despite my determination not to, and I leaned in toward him. It felt so wonderful to be in his arms again – the most natural place for me to be – and I almost weakened. I laid my head against his chest for a few moments, listening to his heart racing and knowing that, under any other circumstances, I’d have given this relationship my best shot.