Lovers in law

by Exley Avis

  Radford needed to know that. It was only fair.

  “You’re right,” I said, pushing away from him and disentangling myself from his arms. “This could be something special If I could have put together a brief for the kind of man I wanted, it would have ended up on your desk. You’re amazing. And if we’d have met without all these complications in the way…who knows?” I shrugged to show I’d reached the end of my logic.

  “But you’re still not prepared to give us a chance?”

  I put my hand against his cheek. He turned his head and his lips brushed the inside of my wrist, overheating my pulse and making me catch my breath.

  “I could fall for you, Radford,” I said. “Really fall for you. You aren’t the only one whose heart received a jump start the moment we met.”

  “Then stay. Let’s work this out together. Let me help you.”

  I heard the urgency in his voice but reminded myself he was an advocate at the top of his game. He could make me hear and believe anything he chose to. I had to put my own interests first.

  “No. Because, after what’s happened this morning, I couldn’t cope with a broken heart too. At the moment, I only have my wrecked career to focus on. One problem needing one solution. If I allowed myself to fall in love with you and then lost you it would be too much. I don’t want to take the risk. Not yet.”

  “You’re looking for difficulties where there might not be any.”

  “Isn’t that what a good lawyer does? Anticipates. Uses precedent to build a case. Heads off problems before they appear. If you feel anything at all for me, you’ll let me go.”

  “Is that what you really want?”

  “No. But it’s what I need.”

  Radford turned my argument over in his head as his expression closed down. His back straightened and he took a step away from me, distancing himself physically and emotionally. “What will you do?” he asked. “Where will you go?”

  “I don’t know yet. Probably go abroad for a few months while all this blows over. My family owns a place in Rome. I’ll get my Italian up to speed and do some translation work. After the summer I’ll come back and start looking for a job.”

  “Will you keep in touch while you’re away?”

  “No. It would only make it harder for me.”

  “Will you let me know when you’re home?”

  “Maybe.” It was the only answer I could give him. Who knew what the next six months held?

  Taking me by surprise, Radford leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. I slid my hand around the back of his neck and held him close to me, inhaling the familiar warmth and scent of him.

  I felt the cracks forming around my heart. Getting involved with Radford might have been a huge mistake but walking away from him could turn out to be an even bigger one. Only time would tell.

  “Stupid as it may sound,” he whispered, “I feel I’m letting go of the greatest relationship I never had.”

  “Never say never,” I warned, moving away and trying desperately to put on a brave face. “It’s far easier to climb out of the shallow end. Had we gone any deeper, both of us could have been lost.”

  Radford shook his head. “Never lost. With you this weekend, I finally knew where I was.”

  Chapter ten

  What the hell is wrong with you, a voice inside my head was screaming. Are you just going to stand there and let her walk away?

  If I hadn’t been so shocked, I might have laughed at the ridiculousness of it. Me. Radford Byrne. The most ferocious barrister on the circuit. Able to pluck a winning argument out of thin air and craft a defence from the flimsiest of evidence, standing there lost for words as Allie Lawless walked out of my life.

  I went with her to the Tube station, just the way I had the night we’d shared that sexy kiss in a doorway and when it had taken every scrap of self restraint not to carry her home to my bed.

  Had it really only been ten days since my entire world had shifted on its axis and begun a new orbit with Allie at the centre?

  For heaven’s sake, get a grip, man, I told myself. Run after her. Insist she stays in London or takes you with her. Don’t just stand there and let her go. Beg if you have to.

  But I stood rooted to the spot, watching her disappear down into the Underground and feeling sick to my stomach that I hadn’t had the words to convince her to stay.

  A thousand different ways of keeping her in London leapt into my head, all more implausible than the last. But then my mind went blank, unable to focus on anything other than Allie’s tear-stained face and the feel of her fingers around the back of my neck as she pulled me close to kiss me goodbye. What would it take – what the hell could I do – to stop her getting on that plane to Rome and taking everything we never were with her?

  I turned and walked back up the hill to chambers, desperately thinking whom I could call to find Allie a job – always assuming she wasn’t too proud to take it. I decided to start with my oldest friend, Stephen Mercer. At least he knew Allie wasn’t at fault and he might even give me the benefit of the doubt. I pulled out my phone to call him.

  “Where are you?” I asked.

  He was at the Old Bailey, London’s central criminal court. “Defending an armed robber,” he explained. “We’ve just adjourned for lunch.”

  “Can I see you?”

  “What? Now?”

  “It’s urgent.”

  “Is Daniel Greene causing more trouble?”

  I rolled my eyes. “I wish it were that simple.” A black taxi was dropping off a fare in Temple and I caught the cabbie’s eye. “I’ll be with you in fifteen minutes. Get the beers in.”

  Now, sitting in a pub with a sandwich and a pint in front of us, I told Stephen the whole, sad story.

  “Allie’s devastated,” I said. “Her career’s in tatters and she’s talking about going abroad.”

  Stephen took a sip of his pint. “She should sue.”

  I could have cursed but didn’t. “The strength of her claim against her old firm isn’t what concerns me right now. It’s how I’m going to stop her from leaving.”

  Stephen put down his glass and stared at me open mouthed. “Are you seriously asking me for relationship advice?” he said. “I didn’t even know you were involved with this woman.”

  “Neither did I until Friday night. But things took an unexpected turn and well…”

  “You ended up in bed together.” Stephen knew me too well but at least he never judged. “Don’t worry. In a few weeks’ time, you won’t even remember her name. You never do.”

  “This one’s different,” I said, shaking my head. “I’ve never met another woman like her. She’s incredible. Beautiful, intelligent – she won the Melton Prize.”

  “Good God. They don’t give that away for the egg and spoon race.” Stephen and I had studied at Oxford together so he knew how big a deal it was. “Don’t tell me you’re falling in love with her.”

  “I’ve never been in love so I wouldn’t know.” I was as dumbfounded as he was. “And anyway, it’s only been ten days. But from the moment I laid eyes on her, I haven’t been able to get her out of my head.”

  “Does she make you laugh?”

  “All the time.”

  “Sexy?”

  “A gentleman never tells.”

  Stephen laughed. “It must be serious if you don’t want to share the gory details.” He narrowed his eyes and looked serious suddenly. “Do you feel protective toward her? Want to hold her in your arms and fight off the world.”

  “How did you…”

  He drained his pint and held out his glass for a refill with a broad grin on his face. “It was the turning point when I met my wife. It stopped being about sex and fun and suddenly became all about wanting to take care of her. Mind you,” he laughed. “I never actually had to thump someone like Daniel Greene in the process.”

  “I wanted to kill him.”

  “Good job you didn’t otherwise we’d be having a very different conversation and I doub
t you could afford my fees.”

  I went to the bar for a couple more drinks and when I returned, I asked Stephen for a favour that probably went far beyond the bounds of our friendship.

  “I need you to give her a job,” I said, making it sound non-negotiable. “After what’s happened, no other firm in London will touch her but you know how unfairly she’s been treated.”

  Stephen didn’t bat an eyelid. “What’s her specialty?”

  “Mergers and acquisitions. Commerical law. She only ended up on the Zeus case because her colleague broke his leg.”

  “Any good?”

  “The best I’ve ever seen.” And the best I’ve ever had, I could have added but not even my friendship with Stephen went that deep. “Razor sharp. She took the case apart and rebuilt it. The claim was watertight by the time she’d done.”

  “Pity the clients sacked you then.”

  “Serves them right.” I didn’t have the ability to feel any remorse towards Daniel Greene. “Because of them, I’m a hundred thousand out of pocket and the most incredible woman I’ve ever met is talking about moving to Italy.”

  “Does she speak Italian?” Stephen’s interest sharpened.

  “Fluent. Her family has a place in Rome.”

  “In which case, I very probably can help her.” He took a sip of his pint. “We’re opening an office in Rome and are struggling to find bilingual staff. The ones in London are too precious about their partnership prospects to want to get their hands dirty with admin. Whoever takes it on will need to roll up their sleeves and muck in with finding premises or negotiating with the Italian authorities before they get a sniff of legal work.”

  It sounded better than I could have hoped for. With Allie working for Stephen’s firm, I’d at least know she was safe, had prospects and might even hear news of her occasionally.

  “I don’t know how to thank you,” I said. “She’ll guess I had a hand in it but I hope she’s not too proud to take it.” I put Allie’s number into Stephen’s mobile so he could call her later.

  “So what will you do?” he asked. “Throw yourself back into work, I suppose.”

  I hadn’t actually given it any thought. There hadn’t been the time. Whatever I did, I wouldn’t need to rush into anything.

  “I had the next two months blocked out for the Zeus case,” I said. “So my dance card’s completely empty. After that we’re straight into the court’s Long Vacation which takes me up until October. I could easily take the next five months off.” It suddenly became a very tempting idea. I’d been working flat out for fifteen years and could do with a break. “My sister’s always asking me to visit her in California. A few weeks lying by the pool and being pampered might be exactly what I need.”

  “You’ll miss you goddaughter’s birthday.”

  “Tell her I’ll bring back Mickey Mouse for her.” I adored Stephen’s little girl almost as much as he did.

  He glanced at his watch. “I’d better go. I’ll call you later and let you know what Allie says.”

  “Thanks, Steve. I owe you.”

  “Damned right you do. My criminal law fees are high but the agony aunt services are ruinously expensive.” He popped a strong mint in his mouth to mask the smell of beer. “However, I’ll give you one last piece of advice for free. Call her. Tell her how you feel. You’ll always regret it if you don’t.”

  Unable to settle, I wandered around the City for the rest of the afternoon, half tempted to go and give Allie’s senior partners a piece of my mind. However, I figured we were both already in enough trouble without me adding to it and kept walking.

  With Stephen’s last piece of advice scratching away at the inside of my head, my feet turned inevitably towards Clerkenwell and I found myself outside Allie’s flat. She was standing with her back to the window, on the phone, and I wondered whether it was Stephen on the other end of the line. Whoever it was, she was smiling and my heart skipped a beat.

  I stared at the entry-phone. Should I call up and tell her what I’d told Stephen? Run the risk of opening my heart. Make myself vulnerable to a woman for the very first time.

  Beg her not to go.

  I looked up at her, still standing at the window. She’d changed into jeans and a skimpy red vest – the first time I’d seen her casually dressed. And she was still beautiful.

  But at that moment she was a fantasy. The perfect woman who could excite my mind as well as my body. Laying my heart on the line for her might see that fantasy destroyed and I didn’t feel ready to take that risk.

  Maybe Allie was right. Better to quit while we were ahead. Before we got in too deep and it became too hard to climb out. Or before the perfect weekend turned into an imperfect relationship that ended in recriminations.

  Never normally one to shy away from a fight, I backed off from this one and turned away, cursing my own cowardice.

  I made it back to chambers for the end of the day and told my clerk to keep my diary clear until the end of the summer.

  “I don’t often get a chance like this,” I said. “I’m going to take some time off and visit family.”

  My clerk was on a percentage of my earnings, so it wasn’t exactly the most welcome news in the world to him, particularly as he’d already lost heavily on the Zeus case. “The Bar Standards Board have been on,” he said, handing me a message. “As the complaint relates to your private life, not your professional conduct, they’re not taking it further.”

  I hadn’t been worried but it was one more loose end tied off, freeing me up to leave. I spent the next hour organising the few outstanding briefs and requests for advice, calculating that I’d be done with them by the end of the week.

  Eventually, there was nothing else left to distract me and I walked home. If the day had gone according to plan, I would have found Allie waiting for me – possibly in bed – with a bottle of champagne and some very wicked ideas about what she’d do to my body.

  Instead my flat echoed when I let myself in, advertising its emptiness. I poured myself a whisky and sat down on the sofa, my disloyal mind drifting immediately to the thoughts of Allie’s soft skin against mine and the look of bliss on her face when I’d made her come.

  My arms ached for her. My lips had no purpose now they couldn’t kiss her. And as for the rest of my body…. Well I’ll leave that up to your imagination.

  I stripped and got into the shower, hoping a few fantasies would lift my mood but my cock hung useless and defiant without Allie.

  I really was in trouble.

  Around nine, my mobile rang. It was Stephen, telling me they were interviewing Allie the next day. She’d sounded interested and enthusiastic, which is all I could have hoped for. I missed her and wondered whether I should take Stephen’s advice and call her after all.

  Stupid pride meant I didn’t and I crawled into bed to lie awake for most of the night.

  In the middle of a case conference the following morning my mobile buzzed. The text came from Allie. I read it surreptiously under the desk, my heart pounding with hope, praying she’d had second thoughts and wanted to meet me.

  Instead I read just three words. THANK YOU. GOODBYE. XX

  Chapter Eleven

  I took in a great gulp of cold, November air, relishing how it burnished my lungs and carried the taste of London back into my bloodstream.

  After six months in Italy, I’d only been back for three weeks and there hadn’t yet been time to fully reacquaint myself with my home town. Every lunchtime therefore found me wandering around the narrow streets of the old City, working out what had changed. And every weekend, I went shopping, to museums, galleries and the theatre, or met friends for dinner in Covent Garden.

  No matter how much I’d enjoyed living and working in Rome, half a year away had proved I was a London girl at heart and I was so glad to be back.

  I carried my coffee and sandwich up to my office, shivering now I was back in the warm, and settled down to the afternoon’s caseload. I loved being the newest member
of the London office’s mergers and acquisitions team and had hit it off immediately with my managing partner. His experience and my mania for details made us the perfect combination, and I’d fitted seamlessly into his department, where I already felt trusted and valued.

  Professionally speaking, I’d never been happier. As for the rest, well that’s a very long story.

  Five lawyers, myself included, were wading through documentation for Thirstan Holdings, a giant construction firm buying out a smaller building company. I’d spent the last three weeks immersed in land titles, company accounts and lists of assets, relishing the chance to read in English again after speaking Italian for so long, and pleased to be knuckling down to some real legal work at last.

  That afternoon, a surveyor’s report on a small but valuable piece of land near the new Olympic park in East London raised a blip of concern on my legal radar, so I did some deeper research and took it to my boss.

  “It’s in a prime location but it’s been lying vacant for forty years,” I explained “and the survey’s incredibly ambiguous.”

  “You’re right. Something doesn’t ring true.” He flicked through the file I’d put together. “You’d better send this round to Aiden Thirstan’s office and see what he thinks.”

  I organised a courier immediately and tied up a few more loose ends before locking my office door and changing out of my work suit. My department was hosting a pre-Christmas drinks reception that evening for its most important clients and had hired the spectacular setting of the crypt in St Paul’s Cathedral just around the corner from our offices.

  As it was a party, I’d chosen a dark green, silk dress I’d bought in Rome. Very Italian, very chic and making me feel flirty and feminine for the first time in months. When I checked my lipstick, I saw a glimmer of the old Allie Lawless again – the confident, sexy woman who’d walked into Radford Byrne’s chambers and taken him by storm. She’d not been around for a very long time and I’d missed her. It was good to have her back.