by Alexa Davis
BILLIONAIRE’S NANNY
By Alexa Davis
This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and incidents are products of the writer's imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locales or organizations is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2018 Alexa Davis
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Chapter One
Mark
Sunday
I glanced down at the deep black of my suit, growing increasingly annoyed by the little wrinkle that sat just above the pocket. I tugged at it again, trying to straighten it out, but just like it had been all day long, it remained there, irritating me like a bug in my brain. One that buzzed so loudly I wanted to scream with frustration.
What the hell is wrong with me? I thought angrily. This is my mom’s funeral; what am I worrying about?
In the grand scheme of things, thinking about any imperfection in my appearance on the day I buried my mother was dumb, but I couldn’t switch it off. I guess it was my mind’s way of dealing with all of this. I didn’t know what I was going to do without her in my life. Maybe if I’d been given more time to prepare it would’ve been easier, but by the time she found out that she had cancer, it had already taken up too much of it. That was just over a month ago, and now she was already gone. If only she hadn’t been so stubborn and she’d gotten herself checked out the moment that she felt sick, but she wouldn’t. And now I was left behind with no one. Well, not no one, but no more parents. I didn’t even remember my father, he died when I was so damn young.
Nope, just me and the God damn wrinkle in my suit that I was about to scream at.
I stared up towards the sky as they lowered the coffin into the ground, cursing absolutely everyone around me. Right now, I hated the world, and to be honest, it probably wasn’t for the right reasons. Yes, I was sad to lose my mom, just like everyone was, but we were never close enough for me to be absolutely heartbroken. She was strict, cold, distant from me always… I suppose I got a lot from her. I wasn’t sure that I ever felt things too deeply anyway, I sure as fuck wasn’t the sort of man to wear my heart on my sleeve, so we barely communicated. If things hadn’t happened the way they had five years ago, then I doubt we’d have had much to do with each other at all. I would probably be at this funeral without any emotions whatsoever, like a statue.
Urgh, this was the sort of thing that made my business partner, Holden, call me callous. He always said that I had a bit of coal where my heart was supposed to be, and I suppose he was right. He was much more touchy-feely than me, much more likely to be open and honest about how he felt. He was an idiot.
“Daddy.” As I heard that soft little voice calling out to me, my heart did thaw a tiny bit. I glanced down to see her dark hair and eyes, which matched mine completely, staring up expectantly at me. She was looking to me for answers, which I wasn’t sure I could give. “What’s happening? Why is that box going into the ground?”
I sighed loudly, hating myself for thinking such selfish thoughts when I had someone here who needed me. This little girl had lost far more than me today, and all I was doing was thinking about a stupid wrinkle. I needed to get my act together and start working out what was really important to me before I lost it all.
I crouched down to my knees and looked her in the eyes. She had the pure innocence of any seven-year-old girl, except that she’d had to face so much more. “Justine, sweetie, they have to put your grandma into the ground because she needs to go to Heaven. We talked about this, didn’t we? How her spirit needs to go up there?”
I wasn’t the most religious type, but my mom always was. She’d always gone to church and I knew that she’d taken Justine too. There wasn’t much I could say about that since she spent a lot more time with my daughter than me. I wasn’t around much because the business demanded so much of my time.
“So, is she going to see Mommy?” Justine asked while swinging her hips from side to side. I could see her knotting her eyebrows together as she tried to work it out. “Mommy is in Heaven too, isn’t she?”
God, another gut-wrenching talk. Again, this was something that I personally preferred to switch my emotions off about. I didn’t like to think about Michelle at all anymore; I preferred to think of it as a distant memory, and usually I could, but Justine needed to speak to me, and I had to try at least.
Michelle was killed in a drink driving accident when Justine was only two years old. She had been out on a rare night out with some friends, enjoying herself while our child was with a sitter, and much as I still don’t fully know the details of what happened on that night, it seems a drunk driver mounted the curb as she walked home and killed her instantly, destroying mine and Justine’s world and changing absolutely everything.
The funny thing was, I didn’t realize how distant we’d grown from one another until she died. I didn’t notice how little time we spent together, how much we’d started to take one another for granted, how potentially close we were to having relationship problems, until she was gone. It was mostly my fault because I worked so much, and sadly there wasn’t anything that I could do to make it right. She was gone now; she’d been gone for years.
That was when my mother stepped up. I was useless; the only thing that I could focus on was my work. Nothing else helped me, and that left Justine a little bit neglected. Her basic needs were met, but that was about it. Mom decided that she would take over the majority of the childcare, which at the time was a big relief. I didn’t really know how to take care of Justine in the best way, I hadn’t ever been there much, so I needed Mom.
It was a decision that I didn’t always love; sometimes my mother annoyed me with the control that she wanted over my daughter’s life, but what could I do about it? I sure as fuck couldn’t give up my business; it was the only thing that I was any good at. I couldn’t do anything else. I needed that. So, I had to accept things as they were.
Only now, my mother was gone. She’d been taken from me too, which left me with no one. I hadn’t had enough time to plan anyone to take over the childcare, which was the main concern, even if that did make me a massive dick. I had a business trip to Tokyo coming up, and I couldn’t get out of it. I had to work it out. Somehow, I was going to have to find someone to take over for me. I couldn’t do it.
“Yes, sweetie. Your grandma is in Heaven with your mommy and grandpa too.”
“I don’t remember Grandpa.” Justine cocked her head curiously to one side.
“No, I know. He died a long time before you were born, so you never got to meet him.”
“Will I meet him when I go to Heaven?”
I didn’t so much buy into all that stuff myself. I had the horrible belief that once you were dead, that was it. Your body decomposed into the ground and you with it. But I didn’t need to tell Justine that. Not when she clearly needed some comforting words. I couldn’t recall how I dealt with death when I was younger; I probably just switched off from it like I always did, but Justine wasn’t me. Maybe she looked like me, but she had more of her mother’s open heart and curious mind. Sometimes, she really reminded me of her, which was hard, especially during the times where I really wanted to forget, like today. She would have been much better at this.
“…earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust: in sure and certain hope of the resurrec
tion to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
As the minister said the final parting words, I waited for Justine to start crying. I might not have been close to my mother, but she was. She spent most of her time with her… but for some reason, the tears didn’t come. My daughter remained stoic and stony-faced. It troubled me, actually. It gave me a deep shiver up and down my spine as I thought about what it might mean.
Eventually, people started to walk away from the graveside, leaving only me and Justine there. I had no idea what was going on inside of Justine’s mind, but I was already planning on what I would do next. I absolutely had to get a nanny; there was no way I could avoid that. I needed to find someone who could take over my mom’s role in my daughter’s life, someone who I could trust to not fuck up the raising of her. I was also considering hiring a therapist as well, someone who could check that Justine was okay. I didn’t know where to even begin getting through to her, I barely knew her at all. It was a sorry state of affairs.
“Can we go now, Daddy?” Justine finally asked me. “I’m getting a bit cold.”
I huffed and pushed on my knees, forcing myself into a standing position. Now I had many more wrinkles in my suit. “Of course, we can, kiddo. Let’s get home, shall we? I’ll order us some take out.”
Bye, Mom, I thought sorrowfully in my mind. Sorry, it wasn’t always great between us, but I love you.
As I walked away, with my hand in Justine’s, I couldn’t stop thinking about all the things that I’d done wrong. Again, just like it did with Michelle, I got a terrible sense of hindsight much too late. Just like I hadn’t always been the best husband, I wasn’t the best son either. I’d made lots of silly mistakes. I was an idiot.
I strapped Justine into the SUV, and I slid into the driver’s seat myself. Before I pulled off, I glanced towards the grave once more. The sun was setting over it, and the orangey glow was beautiful, absolutely stunning. I had a funny feeling that it was my mom giving me a message of some kind, telling me to be better. Maybe I hadn’t been the best husband or son, but I could be a better father at the very least. I could make up for everything that I’d done wrong, by doing this one thing very right.
Then, I shook my head rapidly as I realized how crazy that sounded. I wasn’t the person who believed all that madness. I was level-headed, grounded, smart. I thought rationally. It was just the day getting to me, that was all. The day had a lot of weight to it; it left me lost and unsure of what to do next.
“Right, come on,” I said wearily. “Let’s get going, Justine. We’ll come and see Grandma another time.”
“Why?” she asked coldly while staring out the window with her head resting on her hands. “She’s gone now, isn’t she? There isn’t anything to see.”
Wow… that was a bit much. I really did need to get her some help. I didn’t want my daughter to grow up as cold and closed off as me. As I brought the car to life, I knew then for sure that something very serious was going to have to change.
Chapter Two
Olivia PO
Monday
I need to get out of Virginia, I thought to myself as I woke up. The same thought that I’d had every single morning for the last five months. I have to get away from here. This place is killing me.
I sighed and flung my hand over my eyes, blocking out the bright white sunlight that reminded me that I needed to face yet another day by myself. I couldn’t stand it; it crushed me. This place was a nightmare now.
I always thought that I would leave the moment that I finished my teaching course. I wanted to head out to the city, to make something of myself, and I knew just where I wanted to be as well: New York City, the center of everything. I hadn’t ever been, but I used to obsessively collect magazine articles about it when I was younger, dreaming about the day when I would be walking through Manhattan myself. I couldn’t wait to get there. I loved working with kids, and I knew that was a job that could take me anywhere, and I couldn’t wait to go. I was offered a teaching job in my hometown, but I didn’t want it because I wanted to leave.
But then just before I ended my course, my father got sick, really sick, and my mother couldn’t cope. She couldn’t deal with it, so I stayed behind to help her. I didn’t take the teaching job because I couldn’t commit to it. Instead, I took on a part-time place at a preschool. Dad needed a lot of care, so I had to stick with him. It was an illness that took him away slowly and painfully. It was horrible to see the man who had always taken care of me, the man who’d been a hero through all of my life, slowly wasting away. I barely even registered that all the people I’d grown up with had moved away and moved on with their own lives. I was consumed by what I had to do. I worked when I needed to and spent the rest of the time helping out my parents. That was my whole life.
Then, eighteen months ago, he was finally taken from us. It was horrible to finally lose my father, but also relieving that he didn’t have to be in pain anymore. Still, it made my mother crumble and fall apart so still, I couldn’t go. After my father died, she needed me. Maybe some people would think it as an excuse not to move on with my life, but I saw it as the fact that I wouldn’t let anyone in my family down. I was an only child, so if my parents needed me, I couldn’t just abandon them. I would never be able to forgive myself.
Then Mom just gave up on living five months ago; there wasn’t even any sign that she was going to die, no real reason for it, she just seemed to literally give up—that was what the doctors told me. Then I started to realize how lonely I was. I had hit twenty-seven years of age, and my life was stagnant. I didn’t have any friends, my family was gone, all I had left was my dream. I couldn’t go for it right away, I had to get my head on straight, but the desperation was growing every single day. I had already put the house on the market, and while I wasn’t sure that I would get much for it, I hoped that it’d be enough to get me to where I needed to be.
With a weary sigh, I dragged my body out of bed, and I padded to the kitchen. While I waited for the kettle to boil, I scanned through the same websites on my cell phone that I did every single day. While most people checked their social media first thing, I always went to the New York City job listings to see what positions there were for a nanny or something else in child care. Even if I didn’t get them, it was fun to apply to see what I could get. If I ended up with something perfect, then I’d find a way to make it work somehow. It wouldn’t be hard for me to leave the preschool job. I hardly did any shifts there anymore. I felt pretty sure that the only reason they kept me on was because they felt sorry for me. They didn’t want to fire me outright.
“Ooh,” I muttered to myself as I spotted a new one. “What’s this?”
I got a rush of adrenaline, just as I did every time a new job was put up, but there was something about this one that got my heart racing faster. Mostly, it was the pay. It offered a lot more money than other similar jobs, which made it that much more exciting. For that sort of cash, I could use the bit I had saved up and go now. I wouldn’t have to wait for anything. I could be in New York, the place of my dreams, as soon as possible.
I sucked in a deep breath of air, weighing my options. There wasn’t much of a pros and cons list to be created because there wasn’t anything keeping me in my small hometown but fear. That was it. I didn’t need to be here for anything. And for a job this good, what other choice did I have? I had to.
I nodded to myself and filled out the application form with my heart thundering against my rib cage the entire time. I felt a little breathless and dizzy as I typed, but in a really good way. My dream was finally within my reach, I felt like I was close enough to touch it, but I wasn’t quite there yet. As I listed my positive points, my weaknesses, my experience and education, and my reasons for not working as much as I would have liked for the past few years, I felt good. There was a sense of uplifting in my chest, the heaviness that Virginia gave me was ebbing away.
I could get out of here, I thought with a stupid grin on my face. I could reall
y freaking escape.
Once I read and re-read the information I’d typed, I hit sent, and I sent it flying away, taking my future with it. I hadn’t ever applied for a job in New York seriously before; it had always been a bit of a test. I never thought that I would actually end up getting any of them… but with this one, I actually hoped. I kept imagining myself actually doing this job, and loving it too. I knew that I would love it.
I flicked the radio on, needing something to distract me from what I’d just done while I sipped my coffee. This time I actually wanted an answer back, and I wanted it now. I couldn’t wait the endless days for a rejection to come through. I needed to know right now; I wanted to know if I could continue to dream of if.
I hummed to myself and danced, trying to shake off the excess energy that raced through my system as I did. It was the first time that I’d felt genuinely happy in ages, and I really didn’t want the crash to come just yet.
Ding, ding. All of a sudden, the email sound from my cell phone rang out, stopping me in my tracks. It couldn’t be… there was no way… but who else could it be? I didn’t get many emails from anyone. I stepped tentatively towards my cell phone, my hand shaking as I did, and I picked it up slowly. My heart raced, and I brought the email to life, my vision blurring as I looked at the words which could potentially change my life.
‘…I would like to see you for an interview on Tuesday…’
“Yes!” I fist pumped the air with excitement. That was awesome news! I was always better in person than I was in writing, which meant I could really make a good impression. Okay, so getting a flight to New York for the interview was going to take up a lot of my savings, but if I got it, it would be amazing. I could have easily made a million excuses why not to do it, but for once I wanted to just go for it.
As I typed out my reply, I had a giant smile on my face. Maybe this wouldn’t work out as I wanted it to, but if I put in enough determination, I could make my dream come true. It would be a way to get to New York anyway, my first time in the city of my dreams, so it was totally worth it.