by Alexa Davis
I reached out, trying to grab onto the after sun to slather some more liquid relief onto me, but I couldn’t quite reach it. Just as I was about to give up and head back to sleep, I heard the creak of the door opening. I wished that I could turn to see who it was but the sunburn and shock had me fixed in one place.
“Do you want some help with the soothing cream?” he asked me quietly. “I can give you a hand.”
I couldn’t answer that with words because it felt too intense, so I nodded instead. I kept my face pressed into the pillow while I heard his footsteps creeping across the room. The nearer he got to me, the more intense the anticipation coursing through my veins got. I almost bunched my entire body in thrilling terror.
Mark grabbed the bottle and he peeled the sheets off of my body. I tensed, probably pointlessly because he’d seen me naked before, but I felt all vulnerable and exposed in this position. I couldn’t even see him; it was all a little strange. But oddly sexy too, and I wasn’t quite sure why. God, this was all kinds of wrong…
His hands brushed up my back, making me gasp as the coolness of the cream as he touched me. It was nice though, a big relief. It heightened every single sense inside of me, making me all messy and raw.
Mark worked my body for a while, rubbing cream everywhere, all over my shoulders, my back, my legs. Every time he gets somewhere close to a sexy place, I found myself desperately wanting him. I was in pain, still very confused about my feelings, but I couldn’t help myself. My butt was lifting off the bed towards him automatically.
“You are naughty,” Mark giggled gruffly as he sensed what I was doing. “You know nothing can happen.”
With the safety of my eyes not upon him and my face in the pillow, I said something I didn’t think I would. “Why is that?” My heart raced hard against the bed. “Why can’t anything happen?”
“Because of your burnt skin,” he said as if it was obvious. “I just don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t.” I’d become so desperate for him that I didn’t care. “Just be careful.”
He was hesitant for a moment, but I soon heard him unzipping his trousers to free himself. I could have turned to look at him, to watch him, but I didn’t. I found not knowing different and interesting. It was deliciously sexy, and I liked the taboo nature of it all. I planted the palms of my hands down on either side of my face while I waited for him. I didn’t know where he was coming from, when he would connect with me, and that was exciting.
Finally, I felt him touch the bottom of my back lightly. I raised my hips off the bed, giving him the access that he needed. He nudged my legs further apart and pressed his tip against me. He teased my entrance, and I bit down on my bottom lip just to stop an elated scream from flying out of my mouth. He felt surprisingly good considering all the agony I was in. I needed more of that, so I rolled my hips backward, wanting him.
“How can I be careful if you’re driving me crazy?” Mark begged. “You’re too much, Olivia.”
I didn’t care; I wanted to be too much, I needed him everywhere, so I pushed back and threw my head back. My hair tickled against me, and it wasn’t the nicest sensation in the world, but I managed to forget about it rapidly as Nick slid all the way in. I fell forward, my hips crashing into the bed as he thrust. I focused only on the wonderful feeling in my core. The heat started in my womb and spread through to my belly, warming me up in a nice way.
“Oh, fuck,” I gasped into the pillow, biting down to stop myself from yelling. “Oh, Mark.”
I could feel him crashing against me, his hips slamming into me, and it made my head spin. I started to see stars as he made me feel even more incredible. The burning bliss spread through me and crashed through me, making my body shake and buck. It was an intense orgasm that started as a creep but soon exploded, consuming me entirely. I leaned into it, loving the sensations, finding an intense relief in it. I needed this.
Mark shuddered and gasped out as the pleasure came from him, filling me up completely, and once he did, he crashed on top of me. He fell into me, and he held me close to him, still hugging me from behind. I grabbed onto his arms, holding them there in place. I didn’t want him to let go of me just yet.
“Stay here,” I whispered in a begging tone. “Just for a little while; don’t let me go, please.”
He pressed his lips lightly to the back of my neck. “I don’t want to let you go, I promise you that much.”
It felt like he meant more than just tonight; it felt like he didn’t want to let me go ever. It was complicated, we both knew that, but if we both had strong feelings for one another then we could make it work, couldn’t we? I wasn’t sure, but I liked to believe it. It was nice to think that this could actually be real anyway.
The exhaustion got the better of me rapidly, and I felt my eyes sliding closed once more. I wanted to stay awake longer to talk to him about some stuff, but I was drained, emotionally and physically. I couldn’t help it. As long as Mark stayed with me until I fell asleep, everything would be okay.
Mark brushed his fingers over my skin as I drifted off, he touched me in a sweet and delicate way which meant I drifted off into a really pleasant, peaceful sleep where my dreams were amazing. All about me and Mark and the potentially wonderful future that we could have together. With Justine too: she was a big part of that picture. I wanted her to be in it all. All of us together, like a little crazy family that revolved around amazing feelings of love.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Mark
Saturday
I woke up without actually opening my eyes. I didn’t need them to know where I was because I could feel my arms wrapped tightly around Olivia, still holding her waist from behind. Maybe at some point, I could have climbed into my own bed, but I didn’t want to go. It felt better to stay here with Olivia. She asked me not to let her go, and I really didn’t want to. Ever, actually. It seemed like we were finally moving forwards into something real. Now that I’d accepted that, I was very excited for it. I wanted everything with Olivia.
I leaned forward and I pressed my lips to her shoulder, enjoying the feel of her skin. I wondered what Hudson was going to say about all of this; he was going to have some very choice words about me and the nanny. Then again, he had his own slightly wild love story going on so maybe he would understand more than I knew.
“Morning,” I whispered against her skin even though I knew she wasn’t awake. “I’m going to make coffee.”
Of course, she didn’t say anything, but that was okay. I slid quietly out of the bed, and I padded quietly through her bedroom. With a giant smile on my face, I flicked to coffee machine on, and I waited for it to heat up. As it did, I decided to head into Justine’s room to check on her. Sometimes she woke up late but other times she was an early riser, and I was a little concerned about her finding out about Olivia and me before I could tell her by going into my room and finding out that I wasn’t there. I crept quietly, so as not to wake her if she wasn’t…
But no, as I swung the door to her bedroom open, I immediately found myself alone. Her bed covers had been tossed to one side and her night clothes were on the ground. She had been awake long enough to get dressed, which wasn’t a good sign. I raced towards my own bedroom to find that room empty too. There were footprints on the bed which suggested that she’d been in there to jump for a little while. But she had left since.
“Justine?” I called out loudly, trying to keep the panic levels down. “Justine, where are you?”
She didn’t answer me, but that wasn’t uncommon. Even since Olivia had come into our lives and Justine had come out of her shell, she still got really absorbed in things that captivated her. She could have quite easily had her head buried in some book somewhere. Everything could very well be fine; there was no reason to panic…
But ice-cold terror spiked through my body regardless. I picked up the pace, and I ran through the whole villa, even checking the outside area to see if she was sitting on the porch, but she wasn’t.
A sickness started to flow through my body, and I felt really ill. My head spun with the knowledge that for the first time since I had started to improve my life, I didn’t know where Justine was. I had been trying to be better, really caring for my daughter, and I was being punished. I couldn’t understand it; I didn’t want to, I just wanted it all to be okay.
“Justine!” I screamed. “Where are you?” I ran into Olivia’s room and shook her awake, my entire body shaking as I did. “Oh my God, help me, I don’t know where Justine is, and I’m really freaked out.”
“What do you mean?” she asked me sleepily. “She isn’t in the villa?”
“No, I’ve looked everywhere. She’s out of bed, dressed, and gone. I need to find her right away.”
Olivia finally seemed to understand, and she leaped up from the bed. While she got dressed, I grabbed my cell phone and I called the management of the villa. I needed help; I needed everyone I could get to assist me. I garbled out my issue to the management team and felt relief flood me as the man agreed to contact the local police at the same time. Because Justine was so young, they didn’t want to take any chances, which freaked me out even more. What did they think had happened to my daughter? What had happened to her?
“Okay, what do you need me to do?” Olivia asked me desperately. “What have you done?”
“I… I called the management, and they are getting the cops involved. They’re going to search.”
“Is someone coming here so they know what she looks like and stuff? They need that, don’t they?”
“Err, yeah.” I could barely remember what he had said now. “Yeah, he said to stay here. To talk to them and in case Justine comes back.” I hated the idea of staying still but I didn’t have a choice. “So, yes.”
“Okay, well I’m going to look then,” she shot back determinedly. “Is that alright with you?”
I felt jealous; I wanted to be out there doing something productive. Staying behind these four walls was going to kill me, but at least if someone was out there, I would be able to feel a little better.
“Yeah, okay, sure. Will you take your cell phone with you so I can contact you?”
She flashed it at me, gave me a weak smile, almost as if she wanted to hug me but she wasn’t sure how I felt, then she raced out the door. Once she was gone, I paced the room desperately. Maybe I had to stay in, but I couldn’t be still. As I walked, I tried to work out where Justine might be, what I’d done wrong, and why this was happening.
“Hello?” a male voice called out as someone hammered on the door. “Mark?”
“Are you security?” I invited the man inside. “Thank you for coming so quickly.”
“Yes, okay.” He had a serious, slightly frowny face, which I preferred because it meant he was much more likely to take this matter very seriously. I needed that reassurance. “Now, I want you to tell me what happened.”
While I stammered and staggered over my words, telling the guy that I really had no idea what had happened to my daughter, which was incredibly embarrassing, I blamed myself even more. This was terrible; I couldn’t believe I had allowed it to happen. What the hell was wrong with me?
“I see.” Was the frown now because he blamed me too? “And do you have a picture?”
I grabbed my cell phone and showed him the most recent image that I had of Justine, taken the day before. It showed her face pretty clearly, which I hoped helped a lot. The guy took a copy of the image to forward on to the cops, who were already circling the island. It felt good to have so many people looking for Justine, but it didn’t help. I would have much preferred to have my daughter by my side. I wanted all of this to be done.
“Can I get out there and look for her?” I asked him desperately. “I’m sick of being inside.”
“I cannot tell you what to do, but I do advise you to stay inside in case your girl comes back. I have all the security team looking around the resort, and now they have her image to work with, and the cops are searching the island. I understand this is frustrating for you, but it’s really the best thing.”
Logically, every single word that he spoke sang to me, I totally got it, but my heart couldn’t hack it. There was a deep yearning to just run around the entire place to look for her. What if they missed somewhere? What if they didn’t check all of the suspicious people? I supposed they knew more about this place than I did, but still… she was my girl. I felt I knew her better than anyone else. I could probably find her first…
“Oh, I can’t do this!” I exploded while throwing my hands in the air in frustration. “I need her back now.”
The man, whose name I couldn’t even remember, stood up and moved backwards from me. He could see the temper burning inside of me and he didn’t want to be around when it got worse. “I think I better—”
Ring, ring… My heart stopped dead as my cell phone rang. I stared at it with wide eyes. This had to be an important call, it couldn’t be something pointless; that would absolutely crush me. Ring, ring…
I grabbed it and hit the answer button without even looking at the name on the screen. “Yes?” I demanded.
“I have her,” Olivia replied, her voice thick with tears. “I found Justine on the beach.”
“You… you…” My whole body stilled. “You have her? You really do?”
“Hi, Daddy.” Justine came on the phone, sounding sullen. “I was doing my report.”
“Someone has her?” the man asked, sensing that his job was done. “I can call off the search?”
“Yeah, yeah, call off the search,” I replied distractedly. “Justine, where have you been? Your report?”
“My wildlife report for school. I wanted to do it and we didn’t do enough last night. I need to get it ready for school and I couldn’t find you anywhere this morning. I wanted to work, that’s all.”
I heard the door of the villa close behind the man, which meant I was alone. Thank God; I really didn’t need any more freaking drama today. This had been the scariest time of my life. I couldn’t believe that after all this fear and heartache she was on the beach doing her homework. It was almost laughable if not so fucking awful.
“Justine, you cannot just go off like that. You do know that, right?” I raked my fingers through my hair, anger, upset, and relief flooding me. “You can’t just leave without telling anyone. You’re only seven.”
“I know, Olivia has already told me off.” Justine sighed loudly. “Then she hugged me.”
I almost laughed; that was exactly what I wanted to do as well. Yell at her, make her see that she couldn’t behave like this, then hug her tight and vow never to let her go again. Oh God, I couldn’t let her go again.
“Will you just get back here, please? I feel like I’m going to all apart here.”
The next voice that came on the phone was Olivia once more. “Hold on; I’ve just seen the police and they want to talk to me a second. We’ll be back as soon as possible. Wait for us; we won’t be long.”
She hung up quickly, leaving me breathless. I didn’t know exactly where she was so I couldn’t go to find them. I just had to sit tight and wait for them to get here. When they did, we had a whole lot to talk about, all of us. There were many new changes to be discussed because I had a funny feeling that the lack of communication while we all worked things out had affected Justine in a negative way and that was why she took off. Of course, she was keen to do her homework, I had seen that for myself the day before, but not that keen surely.
I fell onto the couch, pressing my hands into my eyes while I tried to block out all the fear, but until they got back and I saw Justine for myself, I wouldn’t be able to fully relax. I just wanted her here. I needed her in my arms, and I absolutely had to tell her that she could not, under any circumstances, do that again. My heart wouldn’t be able to take it, I had barely survived this time around, and it wasn’t even for a very long time.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Olivia
My heart raced painfully against my rib
cage, and the tears continued to stream down my face as I threw my things in my suitcase in a state of panic. I hadn’t quite planned out how I was going to make the journey back to New York yet, but that was something I could work out later. For now, I needed to go. I needed my escape.
This family was a million times better off without me; I couldn’t stick around any longer. If Mark hadn’t been with me then none of this would have happened. If we hadn’t been selfishly having sex and we’d put Justine first, just like I kept telling myself that we needed to do, then she wouldn’t have gone out on her own. We had acted recklessly, we’d been acting that way ever since we first fell into bed together, and we knew that it wouldn’t end well. The fact that Justine had run out on her own because she didn’t think any adults were there for her was terrible. Anything could have happened. I couldn’t even bear to think about how badly that could have gone. We were lucky this time, Justine had turned out to be safe, but next time could be a whole other story.
“Oh God, oh God, oh God,” I muttered to myself, in a state of terror. “Oh God.”
I just couldn’t be around Mark anymore; this had proved it. How many times had I warned myself to keep away, yet I hadn’t done it? I couldn’t be near him and not fall into lust, and we couldn’t risk it again. I would have to take one of those other jobs, live with a different family, and never look back. It was the only way.
My heart sunk as I glanced around my bedroom in the villa, realizing everything that I would be losing. If only I had been stronger, I would be able to keep my relationship with this wonderful little girl now. I also wouldn’t have this shattered heart to contend with. I was an idiot; I had fallen for my boss, the one man I could never have, and now, just as I knew would happen: I would get nothing. I wanted to slap myself for it.
The New York dream that I had clung to my whole life now felt meaningless; it had a hollow tint to it. I still wanted to be there, to live the life that I’d always wanted to, but it wouldn’t be the same. Knowing that Mark lived in the same area as me and I couldn’t have him destroyed me. It changed everything. If only there was another city in the world that could hold the same appeal for me. I would have been gone already.