by Alexa Davis
I tried to sleep, but those thoughts plagued me and swirled through my brain, affecting my dreams and constantly waking me up. I wanted to believe that she just didn’t know me or trust me well enough to sleep in the bed with me, but I had the horrible sense that it was something more.
Maybe I would find out this morning, now that I was awake early enough to hopefully at least have a cup of coffee with her, and I’d be able to judge the situation. I patted Veil and encouraged him out of the door and into the living room area. He didn’t race off to the window like he did when Eliza wasn’t there anymore, but I went anyway, just to check.
As I spotted her vehicle still sitting there, I let out an audible sigh of relief before spinning around to see her standing right behind me with a bemused look on her face.
Shit, how embarrassing. I actually felt myself flush a little bit as I was caught in the act. There wasn’t any chance of me looking and acting cool now – the cat was out of the bag. I wanted Eliza around. I still wanted to spend time with her, and now she knew it.
“Morning,” she said casually, as if she didn’t know anything, at all.
“Yeah, good morning.” I shot her a shy smile back. I felt grateful that she wasn’t making a big deal out of anything; it made it much easier to overcome. I wanted to at least get back to a place where we could have that awesome friendship between us.
Of course, I wanted a lot more, but I would be okay if she didn’t, especially as I wouldn’t be in Florence forever. The last thing I wanted to leave behind was a broken heart, nor did I want to take one with me. “Coffee? I’m getting good at the pot now.”
“Sounds great.”
As she sat at the kitchen counter, flicking idly through a magazine sitting on the side, I couldn’t stop myself sidling glances at her out the corner of my eye. I felt drawn to her, as if we were magnetized, and every single time I looked at her, I noticed something else I liked. It was almost as if this was the first time I could see her clearly, and everything about her was amazing. That black, wavy hair, those piercing hazel eyes, her sweet, milky skin...
God, I wanted to kiss her. If this were anyone else and the situation were any different, particularly if it had happened before I got sick, I would have just acted upon that urge without thinking about the consequences. Now, though, I needed to be careful – this situation felt much more sensitive.
“So, do you have a busy schedule ahead of you today?” I asked her casually, hoping to gauge her reaction. “Lots booked in?”
Her eyes snapped up to me, but from the odd look she gave me, she wasn’t thinking about work. “Maybe,” she finally said slowly, “we should talk about what happened last night.” I nodded, dumbfounded. This was new. “I don’t know if it was... a good idea. It’s probably best for us not to get involved, considering you’ll be leaving soon enough.”
“Okay,” I almost whispered as a reply. Despite the fact that I’d tried to gear myself up for that and had assumed that I would be okay with just being friends with Eliza, I couldn’t stop the cold, sinking sensation that filled my chest. “Yeah, sure.
“So, are you cool with... just going back to the way that things were?” She narrowed her eyes, actually looking a little scared that I might say no. “I mean, we could still go out for drinks tonight, if you’d like? It might just be me, you, and Laynee, though. I doubt Marc will be there.”
“Yeah.” I gulped down the thick ball of emotion that lodged in my throat, trying to sound like I had everything under control. “Yeah, that sounds great.”
“Thank you.” She moved toward me and kissed me lightly on the cheek. “I appreciate you being so understanding. I’m not a... That sort of person... I just, well, you know...”
She was rambling again, her cheeks heating up. It made me want to reach out and grab her – but I couldn’t; we’d just agreed. I needed to stick to what we’d just decided.
Getting it out of our systems hadn’t solved the problem, at least not for me. If anything, it had made my need for her a whole lot worse. And now, I couldn’t have her, making her even more tempting! I was in a real mess.
“It’s okay.” I smiled as brightly as I could muster. “Now, you get to work. I’ll see you for drinks later. I have a new security company to find today anyway.” If I could do something positive, it might take my mind off everything and make me feel better. “I’ll see you later.”
I retreated to the bedroom, feeling sadder than I thought I would. Eliza was just another girl, someone to have fun with. Just because she was different from what I was used to, didn’t mean I had to read too much into it. We’d had our fun, and at least we could still be friends.
I was just going to have to find a way to be totally okay with it, for real.
***
Does she have to look so heart-stoppingly beautiful? I thought scathingly to myself as we stepped through the doors of the local watering hole.
There wasn’t anything particularly special about this bar; it was clearly just the best place available, but when Eliza stepped through the door in that deep-green dress, the whole place lit up. She was a real vision of beauty, one that made it hard to just stick to the friendship rule.
Okay, so maybe that was just in my eyes. None of the other guys sitting at the bar, clinging to their beers as if they had nothing else to live for, noticed her, but she was all I could see. It was as if the sun’s rays were beaming down on her alone.
“Hey! Eliza!” A girl who had clearly had a couple before we even arrived came bouncing over to her. She was sweet and pretty, with a stark-black suit that clung to her hips and contrasted with her light hair well. “And you must be Milo.”
She gave me a little wink, but one that was much more knowing than it was flirty. She seemed to know that Eliza liked me and possibly that I did her, which meant that I would have to try and get the chance to speak to her alone later. Just to see what I could find out...
“It’s nice to meet you. I have some drinks at the bar; shall we get a table?”
We followed her and sat down. Instantly, the girls started talking about work, which gave me the chance to sit back and watch them interact. Despite the fact that Laynee was a little younger than Eliza and worked for her, they seemed to have a strong friendship that was nice to see. It meant Eliza was a good person, only confirming what I already knew about her.
After only a few moments, Eliza excused herself to go to the bathroom, giving me the chance to speak to her friend. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to find out exactly, especially if we were just going to be friends, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself from being desperate to know more. I actually wanted to know everything about her; it was strange!
“So, you been friends with Eliza long?” I started blandly, trying to sound casual. I didn’t want her to guess what I was up to.
“Yeah, ages.” She did a mock over-the-top sigh. “I don’t know why that girl is still single; she’s so awesome. Pretty, too, don’t you think?”
“Erm, yeah, I do.” From the way she said it, it didn’t seem like she knew everything. Eliza hadn’t told her best friend about us hooking up. What does that mean? It seems a little strange. Is she embarrassed by me? “Yeah, she’s a great girl. I don’t know why Josh was such an asshole to her...” My ears pricked up at that. Who the hell is this Josh character? Is he the reason she tried to push me away? “I’m glad he’s out of the picture. He was never good enough for her.”
But before I got the chance to question Laynee further, Eliza was back at our table, silencing us both. “Shall I get us in another round?” I asked to cover up the awkwardness now surrounding the table. “What do you girls want?”
I smiled at the girls in turn as they put in their orders, then I made my way to the bar while I stewed over Laynee’s words. There was something that she was getting at, something that she wanted to tell me, but I couldn’t quite figure out what it was. Is it that Eliza still has feelings for Josh? Is it that her friend wants me? Or is it that Eliza actua
lly likes me? A concept I haven’t dared let myself believe.
“Hey, there.” I felt a soft hand touching my shoulder, and I spun around in shock to see a smile I didn’t recognize staring back at me. “My name is Phoebe. I don’t recognize you. Are you from around here? I would have thought that if I’d seen you around, I would have noticed for sure.”
“Erm, no...” I shook my head, a little bewildered. What the hell is going on here? “No, I’m on vacation.”
“You are? Well, that’s just great.” She sidled closer, pressing herself up against me and giving me the chance to see down her top. “I could always... show you around if you wanted.”
Okay, now I get it. She was coming onto me – had I been out of the game that long? The way she was flickering her eyelashes at me, her lips pouting, her breasts sticking out... she wanted me bad. I could have taken her into the bathroom and screwed her in a heartbeat, but I didn’t want to.
“I don’t...” I wasn’t even thinking about the words leaving my mouth because I didn’t care. “I don’t really...”
I flicked my eyes backward to see Eliza looking pale and freaked out. The moment our gazes connected, she darted her eyes away, but the damage had already been done. She had seen me connecting with another woman, and she didn’t seem to like it. In fact, she looked seriously perturbed about the whole thing.
Maybe she did like me after all – a thought that made me smile widely. Maybe that big speech that she made back at home about returning to normal was all a brave act. Maybe she didn’t mean it at all.
“Sorry, I have to get these drinks back to my friends.” I blew Phoebe off quickly, not even caring to look at her reaction, and I made my way back to Eliza, excited to see where the night would lead. The possibilities were now endless...
Chapter Eighteen
Eliza – Saturday
Shit. My heart was pounding furiously in my chest. I hated seeing Milo with that woman; it literally drove me mad. She was one of those faces that I’d seen around Florence, but she wasn’t anyone I knew. But now I detested her. I wanted to punch her in the face or at least wrap my arms around Milo to stake my claim.
But I couldn’t, because I didn’t have any claim. We’d decided to be friends, on my insistence, which was exactly what we had to do because he would be leaving soon. That part held up, no matter what I wanted.
“Don’t panic,” Laynee hissed the second she saw my freaked-out expression. “He’s blown Phoebe off; he’s coming back. He’s resisted her charms, which is saying a lot because she is a mega slut! He must like you.”
Ugh, why am I so desperate for that to be true? I was such a fucking idiot. I stared at Laynee in a panic, but before I could spill all my issues, Milo was back with us, and we had to act normal. Luckily, she took over the conversation for a moment, allowing me to sit back and sort my thoughts out.
Was I a fool to push Milo away? Should I have kept hooking up with him until he went home so that I didn’t have to see him getting with anyone else? How the hell would I feel if he brought someone back to the cabin and I had to hear them going at it from the next room? I’d been living in the Eliza/Milo bubble for such a long time that I’d totally forgotten about everyone else, and now that might smack me in the face.
I’d fucked it up, and now I was going to have to drink until I didn’t care whether or not Milo brought someone else back to sleep with. With that thought in mind, I grabbed the glass in front of me and slugged it back quickly, needing to feel its effects.
I was going to have to get through this night somehow!
***
“Is this what you guys call a club?” Milo teased, sending me and Laynee into peals of laughter. “It’s tiny! I’m used to huge, glamorous places. I don’t know if this is going to do.”
“I know, but it’s all we got,” I squealed, much happier now that I was drunk. Sure the problems were still there, rationally I knew that, but I was far too buzzed to care. The awful shots Laynee had been buying me were doing the trick. “So, we don’t have any choice. We have to suck it up – and now that you’re in Florence, so do you.”
“You go and get us some drinks. We’re going to the bathroom,” Laynee insisted, grabbing my arm and pulling me away from Milo. “We’ll meet you in a minute.”
The stark white lights of the bathroom hit my eyes hard. I blinked a few times, probably looking like a total idiot, which was confirmed by Laynee’s laughter.
“Oh, my God,” I gasped in a silly voice. “This place is designed to make me feel like shit.”
“Okay, I didn’t bring you in here to talk about how wasted you are. I want to know what’s going on with you and Milo.” She sounded so serious that it actually took me back for a second.
“What do you mean?” I’d kept this to myself because I was scared of revealing to my friend how into this I was getting. I also thought that saving the information about my hot night of sex with Milo until he left would be a good idea because I was so afraid of her saying anything to her, but now my walls were crumbling, and I needed to talk to someone. I needed some advice, and she was the only one who could give it.
“You keep shooting these looks at each other. There is so much heat between you. Something happened, right?”
I bit my lip and nodded slowly. “Yes, it did. I can’t even describe it to you, it was so good.”
She grabbed my hands, screamed like a loon, and jumped up and down. “Oh, my God, that’s so exciting. I didn’t even realize I was a third wheel. I’ll find a way to leave you guys alone.”
“No, don’t.” I grabbed her hands hard. “Don’t leave me with him. I told him I didn’t want anything to happen again. I told him we should just be friends.”
“Why? Are you crazy?”
“He has to leave.” I shrugged as if it didn’t hurt. “There’s no point in starting anything.”
“But you like him, and he clearly likes you.”
“That’s the problem,” I shot her down before she could get on a roll. “So let’s just get back out there and have some fun. Take my mind off him.”
The night turned into something of a blur from that moment. I could recall drinking and dancing and laughing, but all in short bursts, and none of it very coherent.
I wasn’t a great drunk, which was why I didn’t usually drink too much, but that had all gone out of the window. If I wanted to forget Milo and Phoebe at the bar, then I had more than done that.
“Come on,” Laynee whispered to me what felt like hours later. “It’s time to go home.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but a wave of exhaustion hit me. Actually, getting the hell out of there to bed sounded like a good plan. I rested against her arm and let her and Milo guide me outside.
As we waited for a cab, my mind started to spin once more. All I could think about was Milo with Phoebe, and it made me realize that during the time I was dancing with Laynee, we’d left him by himself at the mercy of all the women in there. He was probably hit on a million times and now wanted to take one of them back. Maybe he felt awkward because of what happened between me and him, so he turned others down because of that.
I needed to fix that. I needed to show him that I was totally cool with just being friends.
“You know, I can stay with Laynee tonight if you want the cabin to yourself?” I slurred, staggering against him. “I don’t mind if you... you want to take someone back...” The words were like daggers in my chest, so I had to force the smile on my face.
“Don’t be crazy,” he chuckled. “I’m coming back with you. Let’s sort out a ride.”
I glanced over to my friend, who wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at me before hugging me goodbye. “I just saw Romy, and you know that she lives down the road from me. We’re going to walk home together. Call me and let me know what happens with you two.”
As I waved her off, I giggled a little manically to myself. It did make me feel a whole lot better that I’d managed to get some of my emotions off my chest with La
ynee, since she always found a way to make me feel better about things. Maybe she was right and Milo did like me; maybe that was the reason he hadn’t taken Phoebe up on her offer. Sure, that outcome left me in a lot of trouble, but it made me feel good, too.
“Eliza!” Milo yelled, grabbing my attention as he stepped into the nearest cab, so I raced to join him. “Get in.”
I slid in the backseat next to him and slowly felt his arm snake around me. It felt so right to be so close to him; it felt so nice. His presence was so warm and comforting, it made my heart race like crazy. The urge was there, to lean in and kiss him, but luckily, the surly driver’s presence was there to remind me that we shouldn’t.
Friends... we’re just friends.
I turned away from Milo, acting like I was watching the world go by, when really, I was doing my best to get my thoughts in order. Everything whizzed past, but all I could think about was him.
I kept remembering his hands all over me, his tongue exploring me, the pleasure he gave me... To be perfectly honest, my brain was doing totally the opposite to what I wanted it to, making it very difficult to keep away from him.
He paid the driver and we stumbled inside, with Milo practically propping me up. I allowed him to guide me toward the bedroom, the whole time my emotions stirring inside of me. As I lay down on the bed, I had to clamp my lips tightly together to stop myself from asking him to lie with me.
“Here, I’ve brought you a glass of water and some aspirin,” he whispered kindly to me, while lightly stroking my hair. “Tomorrow might be rough – do you feel sick?”
“I’m okay,” I groaned. “But I am sorry about all of this. You could have been having much more fun. You could have had any of the girls tonight, and you’re stuck here with me. That sucks.”
“I went home with the one girl that I wanted to,” he insisted with a smile. “I’m just glad I’m here to look after you!”