by Alexa Davis
“Here.”
Eliza’s eyes lit up in surprise when she opened it. “You... You didn’t have to...”
“I know I didn’t.” I nodded. “But it just reminded me so much of you.”
“I love it!” She handed it to me and turned around, lifting up her hair for me to clip it on. The sight of so much skin sent a shiver down my spine, but I forced myself to keep it in check. “It’s lovely, thank you.”
As she grinned at me, and I stared at the necklace against her skin, I wondered what it was about me that insisted on being so closed off. Why didn’t I just open up and tell Eliza everything about me, help her understand why I was being so weird about us? Why was I acting the way I normally did around women... well, everyone really, when I knew Eliza was special? She’d been open with me about a lot of things. She’d told me about losing her grandma, she’d told me a bit about her ex, and I’d done nothing to repay her.
And now she was here, and I finally wanted to just confess. If she’d understand why this couldn’t be serious, even though I wanted it to be, then maybe it’d make things easier.
But then she turned and flicked the stove on, breaking the moment. I would tell her, though; it was definitely time. I just needed to find the right moment to bring it up.
***
That moment didn’t come until a few hours later, when we’d finished our meal and we were sitting around chatting casually about life. I was a little tipsy, my lips felt a little looser, and she was giving me an intense look that made me want to open up my soul to her.
“You know, before I came here, my life was very different.” I felt like I was stumbling over my words a little, but it was too late now. I’d started.
“Yeah, I bet Vegas is much more fast paced than Florence.” She smiled lazily, not getting where I was going with this at all.
“Yeah, I guess so. But that isn’t all of it.” Shit. I hadn’t planned this out at all. There was so much to this story, and now that I’d started, I needed to get it all out. “I... There was this woman...”
She sat up straighter in her seat, looking as if this was something she’d been expecting for a while now. If only it was as simple as one little heartbreak.
“Veronica was her name. Before she came into my life, I’d never really cared about anyone, not like that.” I hated the idiot version of that man I had been. “I fell hard and fast, giving far too much of myself to her.”
I couldn’t look at Eliza; my eyes were fixed on the floor beneath me. “But it turned out that she was married, and that her husband was this dangerous criminal. I tried to back off, but she kept drawing me back in.”
“Oh, God, that’s horrible,” Eliza murmured sadly, sounding far too sorry for me for my liking. “I’m sorry that happened to you. How did you finally manage to break that vicious cycle?”
“I got sick,” I told her bluntly. “Really sick. I got diagnosed with a brain tumor, so my focus on the healing process totally took me away from that.” I sighed deeply, my breaths a little shaky now. “I got so focused on getting better that everything else took a backseat. I left most of the running of the casinos to the managers. I stopped caring about my friends, my lifestyle, Veronica... I didn’t think about anything else.”
I finally felt brave enough to drag my eyes upward, and what I saw in Eliza’s eyes sent a cold sensation coursing through my veins. She looked sad for me, but I got the sense that maybe there was some understanding there, too, which was the only thing that caused me to carry on.
“I only just got the final all clear just before I came here. I guess now that I actually have a future in front of me, I want to do something positive with it. I want to change everything, which was why I thought about looking into investing again. I like giving companies the chance they need, especially for people like Landon. He does deserve it.”
“Yeah, he’s a good guy – and you are, too.”
I pulled back a little, wanting her to understand where I was going with this. “That’s why I’ve been... keeping distant. I guess I’m scared of everything coming back. I don’t want anyone to have to go through the horror of chemo or radiotherapy with me. It was just too awful. Endless sickness, hours in the hospital, days of near death... It’s horrible.” Just remembering it made me shudder.
Eliza grabbed hold of my face and brought my eyes up to meet hers. My instinct was to pull away and get back on the defensive, just like I usually did, but I made myself resist. This wasn’t a normal person that I wanted to get away from – this was Eliza. I just needed her understanding.
I waited for her to say something, I even held my breath, but instead, she seemed to communicate everything with her eyes. Then, before I could do something stupid, like ask her what she was thinking, her lips met mine, and she kissed me with a sweet tenderness. She was actually kissing me. After all I’d just told her, she still wanted to be close to me. I didn’t know how to react to that.
“Are you sure?” I finally gasped, needing some clarity on the situation. “After all I just told you?”
She stood up and held her hand out to me, a deep burning fire in her eyes. I touched her fingers, electricity bolting through my system, and I allowed her to lead me into the bedroom. Maybe when Eliza first turned up, I thought the night might take an awesome turn such as this, but as soon as I started talking, I assumed I would kibosh everything. Yet here we were...
Eliza was special. There was no one else like her in the world. I got the impression that even if I told her I was sick again, she’d sit in the hospital with me until I was well, refusing to leave however much I begged her to. She was on my side and wanted great things for me, and it was becoming acutely obvious that I’d never had that before. No one had ever cared enough about me, and it was a little overwhelming to have that now.
“I don’t know what to say...” I started, but she instantly shut me down by kissing me once more.
Now that the desire had ignited within her, it seemed that the time for serious conversation was done. I liked that. I hated chats that made me feel down, and this had to be the worst one of all. Yet again, without me even asking, Eliza seemed to know exactly what I needed. It was almost as if she could read my mind.
Chapter Thirty
Eliza – Wednesday
I couldn’t believe it. Milo had opened up to me. He’d actually given me an insight into his life, and a painful part of it, too. Things were taking a turn, and it was making me a little crazy.
Of course, it made me sad that he’d been through such horrible times, especially that whole mess with his health, but I couldn’t help the happiness it gave me to know that he trusted me enough to be told about it. I got the impression that Milo didn’t speak to anyone about anything emotional, ever, and I had to be special to him to make him break that pattern.
It had to mean something; surely that meant he cared about me, right?
I had been so anxious when I turned up outside the cabin, afraid that he’d turn me away, or even worse, have another woman with him. That was the reason I’d left the bags in the car until I knew for certain what he wanted.
Luckily, it had all turned out amazingly. I couldn’t even believe how well things had gone. Whatever plans I’d formed in my mind, whatever I’d wished for, it had all been surpassed.
And now we were back here, back in Milo’s bedroom, kissing like crazy kids in love all over again. He was ruffling up my hair, my skirt had been hitched up, and that raw, animalistic feeling was back. God, he drove me wild. I absolutely loved it. I just wanted to eat him alive.
He was nibbling on my bottom lip, I had my hands unashamedly on his butt, and the sensations racing through my body were like heaven. He walked me backward until I fell onto the bed with a crash, then he yanked my skirt down and tossed it to the floor in one fluid movement, practically growling as he did.
“Nice panties,” he murmured, moving his mouth to my neck. “Bit fancy, though. I never thought I’d see you in anything like this.” That was a fair comment,
since usually, my tastes were much more simplistic. I’d only forced myself to wear them because I enjoyed being a surprise.
“I know. Laynee made me buy them,” I confessed, my eyes sliding closed as the pleasure rocketed through me. “I wasn’t sure at all, but she told me they looked good.”
“Wait.” He pulled back sharply and stared into my eyes. “You mean to tell me Laynee got to see you in these before me?”
He actually looked so offended that I couldn’t help but laugh. “No, not really. She wanted to, but I just held them up against me to shut her up. You know what she’s like; sometimes she’s difficult to say no to!”
“Oh, well, as long as I got to see the real thing first, that’s all I care about.”
He then nudged my legs farther apart, moving his body in closer to me and causing everything to heat up. I could feel that pulse, that desire, that wet heat crying out under the frilly underwear I was now grateful to be wearing, and it made me gasp loudly.
How was he making me so crazy when he hadn’t even touched me yet? I was already teetering on the knife edge of desire, and nothing had even happened!
Milo’s lips roughly connected with mine once more, and while I lost myself in his lips and tongue, he trailed the outline of the panties gently with his fingers. He was teasing me, yet again, and I couldn’t stand it.
I dug my fingers into his neck hard, hoping he’d get the hint, but he was completely oblivious. So, I took the initiative and pushed him away to slide my own panties down. I didn’t care anymore – he seemed to like my confidence. I knew what I wanted, and I was going for it!
“God, you’re sexy,” he groaned in pleasure, running his eyes all over me. “You’re so... I don’t even know how to explain how gorgeous you are.”
I felt him grab hold of my thighs and yank me closer to the end of the bed. I cried out in shock, but he simply carried on regardless, moving his face downward, getting closer and closer to where I was utterly desperate for him. I felt my whole body stiffen as his breath tickled my core. I could almost feel myself inching my way nearer to him, begging him to get a move on, but he was taking a tantalizing age to get there.
Then his mouth connected. I felt his tongue sliding up and down my slit until it found my clit. That was when the magic started. He sucked, he flicked, he played with me until my body simply fell backward onto the bed. I just didn’t have the strength to hold myself up anymore – he’d zapped everything from me in the best way possible.
“Oh, fuck,” I groaned, buckling under the pressure of it all. “Oh, God, Milo.” I fisted the sheets, clinging onto them for dear life. At one point, it got so much that I almost started to move away, but I couldn’t. He had a firm grip on me, fixing me in place while the pleasure shredded through my body. “Oh, God...”
The pressure was building, the hot pool of pleasure was spreading, my veins were heating up with sheer joy... This was the best I’d ever felt in my whole damn life, and I didn’t want it to end. But of course, the buildup couldn’t last forever, and it wasn’t long before the powerful waves were crashing over my body like an ocean without an end.
As I succumbed to the orgasm, I finally allowed my brain the freedom to think the honest thoughts that I’d been trying to push away, just because I feared them so much. I didn’t just like Milo; this wasn’t all because I was afraid of getting hurt when he left. I was falling for him hard. I might actually be tumbling into love with him, and there wasn’t anything I could do to stop it. I cared about him more than I ever had anyone before. He made me feel better than anything, and it was going to kill me to let him go.
Maybe I should have admitted that part to Laynee, especially when she naively told me that she thought it might all work out, but I’d kept it to myself because I was scared of admitting it. I also didn’t want her to tell me that I shouldn’t hang out with Milo on Valentine’s Day because as soon as the idea popped into my brain, I didn’t want anything to stop me.
I wanted to be with him, more than anything else, and I didn’t want rationality to get in the way.
As soon as the pleasure subsided, I forced myself up onto my shaky legs, and I flung my top off. Milo fell onto the bed, staring up at me in awe, and as I unhooked my bra and allowed it to fall to the ground, his eyes practically popped out of his head.
“Now you,” I murmured with a smile. “You’re much too dressed for my liking.”
He complied happily, before returning to exactly where he was sitting before, and I climbed up onto his lap and pulled him in for a loving embrace. This time, while I slid down onto him, we hugged, we held onto one another, and we moved in unison. There was something about this that made it the most romantic thing I’d ever experienced. We felt close, connected by the amount he’d opened up to me earlier on, and I never wanted to let him go.
As I pulled back to look at him for a second, the moonlight glistened on his skin, and it made my heart wrench in my chest. God, I wanted him forever more. It just wasn’t fair. Although maybe now that I knew more about Milo, maybe now that we’d had a more frank and honest discussion about what his future might hold, maybe we could find a way...
“You’re amazing,” Milo whispered into my hair. Again, I felt like there was more he wanted to say, something that he hadn’t yet gotten out, but he seemed to stop himself in his tracks. It drove me crazy that he was doing that, but I couldn’t press him for more. He’d already given me so much...
But what if? Does he want me to know that he feels as strongly about me as I do him? What if he wants to tell me that he loves me, but he is afraid that I won’t say it back? Should I say it first, should I extend that bravery to this moment, too?
Fortunately, at that moment, my brain zoned in on Milo’s hands as he explored my breasts and nipples with a tender touch. His skin was so soft, like velvet, and it made me absolutely melt. He had me hot enough that perspiration clung to me, but nothing made me want to stop. I likely was a total mess, my hair was probably sticking up everywhere, but I didn’t care.
I kept my lips on Milo’s as the pleasure consumed him, too, with my eyes open the whole time so that I could look into his. There seemed to be something there, something behind the desire, something that I wanted to explore further...
Oh, God, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I let my feelings go?
“Are you okay?” Milo panted as I fell away from him, crashing onto the now boiling-hot bed sheets. “You look a little...”
I smiled at him, willing the truth to just come out. I felt like he deserved it after all he’d told me. But at the same time, if I read between the lines of his words, it seemed like he wanted to keep me away while he was potentially sick. I didn’t care, of course. I would have stuck with him through that if he wanted, but he still lived hundreds of miles away...
Ugh, why can’t I just figure out the right thing to do? Why does my brain have to be so indecisive? It’s a nightmare!
“I’m good.” I nodded slowly, changing the subject. “Shall I get us a drink? Then maybe we could put a DVD on, or something?” I was babbling as I grabbed a sheet to wrap around my body, but I was terrified about being transparent. “And, I have dessert if you’re still hungry...”
“Eliza, come here, will you?” He grinned kindly, holding out his arms to me and shutting my craziness off for a much-needed moment. “Just calm down and give me a hug.”
I climbed into him, happy to be obeying his command even if I felt totally confused inside. With his arms wrapped around me and the blanket covering our bodies, it was easy to allow the happiness to swallow me up. It was easy to pass by the fact that this was all going to come to an end if I didn’t act quickly.
“I’m glad you came here tonight,” he said warmly, clearly not plagued by any of the worries I was. “It’s been awesome to have you here.”
“I’m glad, too.” I meant that as I said it, even if I was left with more questions than answers. “It’s been wonderful.” I bit down on my lip, wondering if there was a
ny way that I could ask the questions without actually having to say them aloud. How could I ask him what next, without actually saying it?
Nope, there was no way. I was just going to have to continue on with life never knowing the truth. I was just going to have to live with this one regret – that was the end of it.
PART 4
Chapter Thirty-One
Milo – Thursday
I had a genuine happiness in my heart as I woke up the next morning. I had Eliza back where she belonged, in my arms, and all felt right with the world. Of course, the warm glow would have to wear off, eventually; there was no chance of my clinging onto it for too long because I had reality to get back to, but for now it felt nice.
I actually wished that I didn’t have anything to go back to. Being this close to Eliza once more made me regret having a home and business in Nevada. In a weird way, I wished I’d given up everything to come on this trip to Florence because then I could just be with her. I could just fall into this head first and embrace it for what it could be…
I jumped up quickly, grabbing hold of my phone as it began to ring, not wanting it to wake Eliza up.
“Hey, Justin,” I murmured into the phone. “You okay?”
“Yeah, what’s going on? Why are you whispering?”
I slid out of the bedroom, closing the door quietly behind me as I went. “Sorry, just didn’t want to wake…” Shit, was I about to confess this aloud? No, not yet. I didn’t want it overanalyzed before I knew what I was doing myself. “Anyone up, so I’ve gone outside.”
“Oh, right, yeah, okay.” He sounded a little confused, but luckily, he didn’t push it. “Well, I’m in Florence today, and I’ve just bumped into Landon. He mentioned going out fishing, and I wanted to know if you were up for it again.”
I did want his advice on the company, so this would be the perfect way to let him see everything firsthand. “Oh yeah, sounds good. Shall I meet you down at the bay in a bit?”