by Alexa Davis
“Oh no, you won’t, I need you close to me. You are worth your weight in gold.”
I let out a bit of a strangled laugh, expecting him to join in, but he didn’t. He just gave me one more sad look before clicking the door closed behind him, leaving me totally alone.
I sighed deeply and wandered around the apartment, barely thinking straight. My brain was wired, my head all over the place, and I couldn’t lie down to sleep even if I wanted to. I just needed to work out what I was going to do.
Did I do as Braxton suggested, and pay the guys off to get them off my back forever, fully knowing that it’d potentially spiral and they’d ask me for more? Either that or they’d kill me anyway. Or did I continue on ignoring the situation, fully knowing that it wasn’t going away?
The more I tried to pretend that my life was normal, the worse all of this became. And now, they were downstairs, talking to the door man about me, basically threatening me when Morgan was here.
It was safe to assume that doing nothing wasn’t working out for me, so it was time to make some form of decision one way or another...
Ring, ring... Ring, ring...
I grabbed hold of my cellphone, expecting to see Morgan’s name on the screen. I assumed that she was going to be furious at me for having sex with her then sending her away. I couldn’t blame her for that. But it wasn’t.
Private Number.
At this time of night, that was already suspicious, but I hit the answer button before I could really think about it. “Hello?”
“Hello there, Terrance.” The voice was smug. I didn’t know who it was, which had me very worried. “How’s it going?”
“Who... Who is this?” I stammered anxiously. “What do you want?”
“I think we both know what I want,” the voice replied, laughing loudly just to taunt me. “And, we know that I’m going to get it, too. After all, it’s owed to me, and I don’t want anyone else to have to pay for the mistakes your father made.”
My blood boiled at that almost admission of guilt. What I should’ve done was record this call, but it was too late to start worrying about stuff like that now. What I needed to do was make my decision of how I was going to drive this forward. There was no hanging back and pushing it to the back of my mind anymore.
“Okay, so what’s this about? You want me to pay you?”
“Why, of course! What else would I be calling you for?”
“Fine,” I sighed, accepting defeat...at least verbally. Inside, my mind was still flitting from decision to decision. “I will wire the money to you. Where should I send it?”
There was silence through the line. If I couldn’t hear the guy’s breath, I might be dumb enough to believe that he’d hung up. I wanted to say something, anything, to break the tension of the moment, but there was a deep instinct in in my chest telling me to just wait.
“You won’t be wiring any money to me. I don’t want a trace of this transaction, do you understand?” All the jovial nature was gone from his tone. He was furious with me now. It freaked me out more than I cared to admit. “This is going to have to be a more face-to-face sort of deal, okay?”
“Right...” How the fuck was I going to get out of this now? “So, you want to meet now?”
“Oh no, I’m not an unreasonable man. I will give you until Tuesday to get things together. We both know that it isn’t a small amount that I’m owed, so it won’t be easy to get instantly. So, I’m going to be a good guy and give you a couple of days.”
My heart pounded in my throat. The only way this guy could know I was aware of the debt was if he knew about the private investigator. That changed everything. If these men got hold of the man working for me, it meant everything he told me could’ve been false. I wasn’t sure what to think about anymore.
“I... I...” I didn’t know what to say to that. I felt like I wanted to scream. “I...”
“You, you, you will get the money to me on Tuesday. You’ll meet me at eleven p.m. – see how I’m giving you even more time there – and you’ll meet me by Nick’s Garage on the corner by Lights Out. We both know you know where that is, so there can’t be any argument there.”
With that, he hung up leaving me alone with my thoughts. I remained exactly where I was with the phone pressed up against my ear long after he was gone, just wondering how I would make this work.
I didn’t want to pay these assholes anything, especially if they killed Mason. But I also didn’t want to die, either. Even if I had nothing else, I had a strong sense of needing to survive. Braxton was right – I would have to at least pay them something, however much I hated it.
I dialled his number quickly, needing to solidify my decision before I gave myself the opportunity to talk myself out of it.
“Are you okay?” he asked a little sleepily. “Nothing’s happened, has it?”
“I got a phone call,” I told him flatly. “You were right. I need to pay the money back.”
“I’ll help you,” he reassured me, sounding relieved. “Whatever you need, I’ll help you.”
I hoped and prayed that would be enough. I hoped that by going in and paying this money off, it didn’t spark a chain of reaction I couldn’t cope with.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Morgan
Monday
“So, this guy knocked on the door right after you finished having sex and demanded that you leave?” Nickie looked incredulous for me, which made me feel better for feeling that way myself. “That’s a liberty.”
“Well, it wasn’t quite as cold and calculated as that...but yeah.” I shrugged, trying to appear a bit more blasé than I really felt. “My overactive imagination decided that Terrance was part of the Mafia... How crazy is that?” I laughed, sort of, but Nickie didn’t look amused.
“You know, you might not be far wrong there,” she mused thoughtfully. “I mean, if you really think about it... The first time you meet him, he’s being pummelled into the ground by some guys, and he’s pretty secretive about himself. He has a bodyguard for crying out loud, and all that money... It has to come from somewhere.”
“He’s really weird about family, too,” I admitted quietly, hoping not to be overheard by anyone else. We weren’t alone in the break room today, which made me anxious. “He said his mom was never around, like he didn’t even know her, and his dad and brother are both dead.”
“That confirms it,” Nickie declared, slapping her hand down on the table, almost spilling my coffee. “He’s a criminal.”
I clutched onto my stomach protectively, fearful for the life of my child. I never meant to get involved with someone who was clearly involved in something dangerous, and I certainly didn’t want to have a child in among that. What if Terrance’s enemies knew about me and came after me? What if they eventually discovered that my child was his and came after him to punish me?
My heart spiked with anxiety, vomit swirled in my stomach, and my dizzy brain wanted to pass out. This was the worst thing that had ever happened to me...
“Unless he has a wife,” Nickie suddenly burst out, breaking through my shock barrier.
“What?”
“Well, think about it,” she leaned in, whispering excitedly. “He’s secretive, he obviously has something to hide, and he has an apartment, despite his wealth. He’s probably got a house somewhere in Manhattan with a wife and kids.”
“Oh my God.” I did not want to be the other woman – that idea made me feel even worse. If that was the case, I’d just played right into his hands by acting like a sexual fiend around him, keeping things casual just as he wanted. Maybe he assumed that I already knew, but didn’t care...
“Oh no, I just looked him up online. They call him the ‘eternal bachelor.’” Nickie shrugged causally, as if she hadn’t just sent me spiralling through a rollercoaster of emotions. “It must be the crime thing. I wonder what sort of crime he’s in to.”
“Can’t it be something else?” I begged her to give me any other solution. I didn’t wan
t to admit that I’d been fooled by the fake niceness Terrance had given me to cover up his much darker side. “Anything? Maybe he doesn’t tell the media about his wife...” She might find this all something exciting and gleeful, but it was my damn life.
“Is that really better?” She eyed me curiously. “Either way, he’s been lying to you. You’re better off getting rid of him.”
“I can’t, though,” I gasped desperately, nodding down towards my stomach. “It really isn’t as simple as that now, is it?”
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” Nickie leaned in and whispered into my ear. “But if it comes down to it, you can do it by yourself. You don’t even need to tell him, not really.”
“Maybe you’re right,” I answered glumly, hating how scared that made me feel. It was also incredibly worrying to think about how my mother was going to react when she learned the truth. Even if I was giving her everything she wanted, I wasn’t doing it in the way she wanted me to. There would still be something to be disappointed in me for. “Thanks, Nickie.”
As she left and I gazed sadly down into my coffee, I felt chilled to the bone. Would I be able to do this without even telling Terrance? Would it be the right thing to do if he was a bad man?
I had to find out more. I needed to see him, maybe to ask him outright what was going on. That was the only way I’d be able to make a rational, sensible decision.
“Everything alright?” Annie asked me, her eyes alight with the possibility of scooping out gossip. Even if I was utterly desperate, I wouldn’t talk to her about anything. “You look really pissed off. Has Nickie upset you?”
Urgh, I could not be dealing with this right now. “I’m fine,” I declared, standing up quickly. “Just tired, you know how it is.” I rolled my eyes and grinned fakely, trying to include her in my exhaustion. At least in that way, we were all in the same boat. “Anyway, I better get back to work.”
“Yeah, whatever.” She pouted out her lip, angry at me for not giving her what she wanted. “See you soon. Are you guys out this weekend?”
Not a chance in hell.
“Maybe,” I nodded, acting as if I was actually thinking about it. “I’ll see how worn out I am at the end of the week.”
As I rushed from the room, I couldn’t help but wonder how I was going to keep my secret just for me. Even if I couldn’t see it yet, my bump was growing by the minute – soon it would show and everyone would know...
Then the gossips, like Annie, would be able to say whatever the hell they wanted about me. I’d have absolutely no control over what was spoken about me then. I hated to imagine what sort of things would be discussed, but that wasn’t really my issue. I needed to concentrate on looking after myself for the time being.
***
As I paced the length of my home, I waited for Terrance to pick up the phone. It had taken me a long time to get to that point. I’d been freaking out for at least an hour, but the strength had come from somewhere...probably from the knowledge of the life growing inside of me. I wasn’t doing any of this for me – it was for my child.
“Hello?” Immediately, I noticed Terrance sounded stressed, which made me regret my decision. Whatever was going on in his life was affecting him. This was totally the wrong time. “Morgan, is that you?”
“Hi... Terrance, it’s Morgan,” I stammered awkwardly, hating the ice cold feeling in my chest. “Is everything alright?”
“Yep,” he snapped back too quickly, making me even more suspicious. “Is everything okay with you?”
“Yes, I just wanted to know if you’d like to meet up again? Maybe tomorrow? I could cook for you?” I hated how nervous I sounded, like a little mouse. “If you’d like?”
The silence hurt my ears; it meant he was actually having to think about this. He wasn’t jumping at the opportunity to hang out with me like I did him, which suggested he really wasn’t into it as I was.
I liked him – I really liked him – and not just because he was the father of my unborn child. I liked his smile, his wry personality, the way that he made me feel about myself. I enjoyed the warmth he gave me when we were around one another, giving me a special sensation in my chest.
Clearly, that was a one-sided thing. I was an idiot for ever thinking otherwise.
“I mean, you don’t have to worry about it if you have stuff on...”
“No, no, it isn’t that,” he jumped in quickly, snapping back into action. “It’s just that tomorrow isn’t good. Maybe at the weekend. I will call you.”
Well, if that wasn’t a brush off from the “eternal bachelor” then I didn’t know what was. Clearly, he had enjoyed his time with me, and now he was done. “Yeah, okay. I will speak to you soon.”
As the dial tone buzzed through my brain, I felt ill. I couldn’t exactly tell Terrance that I was pregnant with his child now, not without looking like I was desperately trying to hold onto him. He’d probably had that from a million different women before. I might well have lost my chance forever. He’d be onto the next in no time, if that was what he was like. I could’ve looked him up myself, but I didn’t think I could handle the truth.
I sighed deeply and wandered into my bedroom, wondering what I was supposed to do next. Now I didn’t have a chance of having any father in the picture of my child’s life, even if I wanted it.
I also wasn’t going to be able to find out the truth about Terrance and what his lifestyle was, which left me in potential danger...if my freaked out brain was something to be believed. I still wasn’t sure what was going on, but according to Nickie, that was the only explanation that made any sense.
Could I actually imagine Terrance in the midst of a crime organisation? Could I picture him drug dealing or stealing? Murdering? Beating people up like the animals who attacked him?
And, the gentle giant that was with him, too. I couldn’t imagine Braxton acting in that way, either.
Even if it wasn’t the truth, maybe it was best to think that, to save my heart from breaking. Hating Terrance would be easier than falling for him, just to have my hopes dashed...
But it wouldn’t work, I couldn’t convince myself that this was anything other than a man who didn’t want me anymore. And with that revelation, I turned onto my side and sobbed pathetically into my pillow.
As I wept, I actually wanted to speak to my mom, to get her advice on life, but I knew that wouldn’t be a good idea. She wasn’t very good at problems – they just weren’t where her expertise lay. No, this was something I’d have to do all by myself.
***
At some point during the night, I must’ve fallen asleep because at about three in the morning, I raced into the toilet to vomit heavily. My morning sickness had started coming in whenever the hell it felt like it, which was a nightmare. It left me even more exhausted than normal, making work difficult. Still, I needed all the money I could get right now if I was going to do this alone.
My face was sticky with dried tears, I felt like I really didn’t want to carry on, but I wrapped my arms around my belly, holding on to the only important thing to me now. If I looked for a silver lining in all this, then as least I had this baby. Even if I did have to keep my child away from his or her father, even if I couldn’t ever tell him the truth, it was better than having no one... Wasn’t it?
I pressed my hot forehead against the cold floor and slid my eyes closed while my body calmed down. Thankfully, I wasn’t going to be sick again, I could already tell that time had passed, but the bad feeling in the pit of my stomach was still there. I had the feeling that something horrific was just around the corner. And, the anticipation was almost worse than the actual event.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Terrance
Tuesday
“This isn’t going to be enough, is it?” I exclaimed, panic tearing from my tongue. “There’s not a chance in hell that they’ll accept this.”
“You don’t have any choice; if you keep taking money out, your accountant will call the cops. He’s already s
uspicious as hell with what you’ve done. He knows that something is going on with you. This will have to do. For now.”
The fact that Braxton looked as freaked out as I felt only made everything worse. I’d been trying my best to find a way to make this work, but without attracting too much attention. It was starting to feel impossible.
“I just don’t see how just under one million is going to cut it,” I stressed. “It’s such a little amount. They know I’m aware how much my dad owed – they know far too much. I just... I don’t know think this will work.”
“It shows effort,” Braxton nodded, trying to convince himself as much as me. “It shows that you’re willing to play their little game. They will give you the chance to sort the rest out.”
“I honestly don’t think they’re that sort of people,” I insisted wildly. “I don’t think they’ll accept that. I think they’re going to kill us.”
“Just insist that you’ll wire the rest. We can even do it as we stand there and sort your accountant out afterwards. It’ll be fine, I promise you that.” He reached forwards and grabbed onto my shoulders with both hands. “We have to just get through this meeting, then everything will be okay.”
I nodded and sucked in some deep, calm breaths of air, but it did nothing to cool me down. The sense that something horrible was about to happen sat firmly in the pit of my stomach, and I didn’t think that any amount of telling myself otherwise would change that. I was heading right into the lion’s den, to see the men my father got involved with, the men who basically admitted that to killing my brother, the guys who would tear me to shreds in a heart beat as proven by the last time they saw me when they beat me to a pulp.
“Okay, sorry about this, Braxton. Shall we get going?”
The elevator ride down was a tense and silent one as neither of us really knew what to say to one another. The briefcase was heavy between us, a massive nod to what we were doing, which neither of us wanted to accept. At one moment, Braxton pulled the gun out of his pocket and he opened it up to check that there were plenty of bullets inside.