by S. J. Sylvis
“That is not why I’m here.”
I shot up, my hair flying past my face, the quilt falling to my legs. “It is! You already told me you hated me, wanted me gone, blamed me for your mom's death, and yet you’re here? Something doesn’t add up, Christian. You feel guilty for treating me like shit because my entire life is shit.”
A beat of silence passed between us. My chest was heaving up and down beneath my T-shirt. My hands were clenched together in my lap. Sometimes I did this; something small provoked me, and then I just lashed out. Everything seemed to hit me all at once.
Christian’s voice was supposed to soothe me, but I was too worked up to allow it. “Let’s not bring up my mother’s death.”
I was too angry and mortified that he had read my file to know what to say. Instead, I rolled over, my back now facing him. “I’m going to sleep. Feel free to climb out my window at any time.”
I wanted to grab my iPod in the worst way, but getting up out of the bed felt like I was waving a white flag, like I was backing down from my anger. I wasn’t. So instead, I just lay there, fuming, pushing all the thoughts of the past out of my head. I carefully built up my walls and pretended I was in my own world, without the memories or echoes of a gunshot. But soon, I found myself listening to the sound of Christian’s breathing, and it somehow lulled me right to sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Christian
I parked my Charger beside Ollie and Eric, my eyes scanning the courtyard for a dark-haired girl who wouldn’t even look in my direction.
My neck was stiff as fuck, my back aching, both of which had nothing to do with football. Three days of sleeping up against a wall or on the floor did that to you.
Hayley wasn’t speaking to me. I wasn’t speaking to her, either.
She was angry that I had read her file, refused to believe that I was at her house for any other reason than pity, and when she said things weren’t adding up, she was absolutely right. What the fuck am I doing? The golden question. I had no idea. I was supposed to feel guilt and hatred when I looked at her face, just like it was before, but I felt so much more. And it was making me crazy. I climbed through her window every night as if I didn’t tell myself hours prior to stay away.
I thought back to the conversation between my father and me this morning and sighed.
“I got a voicemail from Jim. Why did you call him?”
“Because I needed him to look into something for me.”
“Hayley Smith? Stay out of it, Christian.”
“Why? What do you know?”
“What I know is that it isn’t safe for you to be butting into things that are well beyond your years. Let the authorities handle it.”
Only they weren’t. There were no authorities handling it. The authorities didn’t even know that Hayley had been attacked or that there was some threat made several years ago.
She drove me fucking crazy. Her need to survive on her own was frustrating and infuriating all in one.
“Hey, Sunshine.” My head jerked to Ollie as he sauntered over to my car. I was thankful he was now waking himself up and stopped partying so hard on school nights. It was one less thing I had to worry about, and I had a hunch he was doing it because he knew I was in over my head. “Rough night? Hayley talk to you yet?”
I slung my backpack over my shoulder, now scanning the parking lot for Piper’s BMW. My eyes jumped right over Madeline cowering in her car from my public shutdown a couple of weekends ago, then I passed April and the rest of the cheer squad who were all vying for my attention.
“She’s already inside. I watched her and Piper walk in a few minutes ago.”
Relief poured over me, which only made me angrier. Why couldn’t I stop caring? Where was the old Christian? The one who thought of nothing but football, saving Ollie’s ass from drunken shenanigans, and if Madeline was going to suck my dick before the game.
Ollie glanced around cautiously, then he bent his head. “I heard you and Dad on the phone this morning.” My teeth clinked together. “I assume you’re not going to listen to him. Did Jim find anything?”
Jim was my father’s P.I. He hired him shortly after Mom started acting distant, not too long before she died. He was a close friend of my father’s, and apparently, I misjudged how close they were since he seemed to have talked to my dad about my request when I specifically asked him not to.
“Jim hasn’t said anything to me yet. But he’s obviously talked to Dad.” Ollie and I began walking over to Eric and the rest of the guys congregating in the courtyard. “I’m going to continue to keep an eye on her. And I’ll probe Jim later.”
Ollie nodded once, and then the pair of us launched into a conversation about the upcoming game this weekend with the rest of our friends.
It had only been a few days, but people finally quit talking about Hayley’s face from our last game. She wasn’t as roughed up as she was the first day she came to English Prep, but the scratches on her cheek were evident. I was surprised Headmaster Walton hadn’t called me into his office to ask if I knew anything about it.
My head jerked mid-conversation with Eric as I heard someone say the name Hayley.
“And did you see her face? I heard she got them having sex with one of Oakland High’s finest during the game. Sex in the gravel or something like that.”
Another girly voice.
“Kinky!”
Ollie’s eyes caught mine, and he grinned coyly.
I spun around quickly and located my source.
“April, tell your little friends to keep their fucking gossiping mouths shut.”
April swung her blonde hair over her shoulder. “What? Why?”
“Because Hayley-fucking-Smith isn’t their goddamn concern. And she wasn’t fucking someone during the game.”
April’s head twitched a fraction; her two friends—who I was certain were underclassmen—looked back and forth at one another.
Ben snickered from behind me. “But who was she fucking after? Was it you, bro? You’ve got it bad. That’s twice now you’ve stuck up for the trailer tra—”
Ollie grabbed him by his school tie and brought him to his knees almost instantaneously. “You better watch your fucking tone and who the fuck you’re talking about.”
The entire group went silent. Ollie didn’t get angry often. I was the hothead when compared. Even when we were younger, he’d let me win all the games because he knew how angry I’d get.
My fist clenched, but I held my ground as Ben peered up into the sun. “Damn, are you fucking her too?”
Snap. Like a rubber band. Before Ollie could wind his arm back, I swooped in and punched Ben’s jaw so hard he flew to the side of the grass.
I slowly and calculatedly walked over to his slumped-over body, his button-up jacket now dirty, and peered down. “Keep her name out of your mouth.” Then, I turned on the sole of my shoes and passed by my peers who were all looking at me like I’d lost my mind.
I had.
I was certain of it.
Ollie caught up to me quickly, Eric right behind him. “Dude, I fucking had it. I was taking care of it.”
“It’s not your problem to take care of.” I pushed through the doors, and my eyes found her within a second. She was resting her back along her locker, her raven hair tucked behind her ear. She smiled at Piper, and I felt a surge of jealousy go through my body. A smile from a girl like her was rare—so rare I didn’t know that I’d ever seen one.
“But it’s yours?” Eric moved in front of me and Ollie, no longer trailing us.
I eyed his dark hair and features. His brows were pulled together, his eyes crinkled at the sides. He shook out his hair. “Hear me out; I’m on your side. You don’t want people talking to her, that’s fine. I’ll help ward them off. But what the hell is going on? Are you two a thing?”
I caught Hayley’s eye as she began to walk past us. She narrowed her gaze, those blue eyes sucking me in as they locked onto me. She leaned in close to Eric, s
o close her skirt was touching his pant leg.
“To answer your question, no. Christian and I are not a thing.”
Her words felt like a sledgehammer to my chest, but it was the first time since Saturday night that she’d even looked in my direction. Every time I climbed in and out of her window, she was facing the wall as she lay on her mattress. When she’d get up to shower in the morning, she’d walk right past me, as if I wasn’t lying there on her floor.
Anger clawed up my chest. My words were a bite to every exposed part of her body. “Hayley needed my help with something, but she’s got it all figured out on her own.”
I hated that I couldn’t read her expression. What are you thinking? Was she glad I was throwing in the towel? Did she want to protest? Was there another lie about to rest on those pouty lips?
Hayley was full of little lies.
I knew she felt better with me in her room every night. She felt safer. Yet, she pushed me away every chance she got. She said she didn’t need my help. Well, fucking okay then.
Her tongue darted out to lick her lip. It was as if it were only the two of us. No one else was in the hallway. No one else was on the entire fucking planet. “You’re right. I don’t need your help—or anyone else’s.”
I huffed out a laugh, crossing my arms over my chest. “Fine.”
She did the same. “Fine.”
The bell rang and it startled both of us. We both dropped our fuck-off poses, our arms hanging down by our sides. She brushed past me, and I flared my nostrils, clenching my teeth together.
Ollie and Eric were staring after her and then at me.
Ollie dipped his head in. “That was all part of this game you two are playing, right?”
I ground out. “I’m not playing a fucking game.”
Eric chuckled as his eyebrows shot to his hairline. “Oh, you two are definitely playing a game, bro. She’s just winning.” He smiled mischievously and walked off, throwing his head back. Once he was down the hall, he turned around and cupped his hands around his mouth. “I’m rooting for you, though.” The entire school looked at the two of us, and they were, no doubt, wondering what the fuck was going on. The rumors were destined to start.
What exactly was going on with their king and the girl from down the block?
Their guess was as good as mine.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Hayley
“Hayley Smith got caught banging someone in the gravel from Oakland High at the game last week. Did you see her face?”
“Hayley Smith begged Christian for his help with something. He turned her down.”
“Ben Jennings got his ass beat for fucking Hayley. Christian was not happy.”
“Hayley and Christian are fucking. She’s the new queen of the school. Madeline is losing her hair over this.”
I kinda wanted the last part to happen. Madeline bald? That would surely wipe out all the rumors circulating the school regarding me.
But instead of dwelling on them, I continued to bury myself in homework and papers. Piper tried distracting me during lunch by buying me a chocolate chip cookie, and it actually worked—for a minute. I didn’t dare look at Christian or his table of followers. Piper said he wouldn’t look at me either.
Which was fine. Maybe he wouldn’t climb through my window tonight. Maybe he’d stop feeling bad for poor little Hayley.
I couldn’t deny the pit that formed in my stomach at the thought of his presence not being there tonight. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I anticipated his long body climbing through my window and settling down onto the floor. No words spoken, just an abundance of angry, hot tension lingering in the air between us. I hated the pity, but I loved the comfort. My heart was torn in two.
He had to have known that a small part of me was too weak to put up a fight. I could have locked my window at night, but I didn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I blamed it on the damaged twelve-year-old girl inside of me. She wasn’t as strong as seventeen-year-old Hayley. She was scared, and worried, and felt helpless in almost every situation of her life. Things were out of her control five years ago, and they were out of control now, too.
“Hey, you ready?” Piper dangled her keys in front of my locker, her backpack slung over her shoulder.
“Yep, let me grab my chem book real quick.” I reached in to grab my book and heard her sharp inhale of breath.
“Don’t freak, but I think I just saw your social worker.” My stomach dropped, remembering my face this morning when I got ready for school. You could still see the marks from the gravel on Friday night. There were tiny scratches all along my cheek, and if you were to lift up my shirt, you’d see some nice scratches there, too.
Piper grabbed my arm in reassurance. “Maybe she just has a meeting with Headmaster Walton.”
I shrugged quickly and shut my locker. “Let’s go before they come looking for me.”
She nodded, and we briskly started to walk down the hall and head for the doors. Right as Piper’s hand touched the handle, Headmaster Walton’s voice echoed down the hall.
“Miss Smith, a word please.”
“Shit,” I whispered.
Piper took her pink lip in her teeth and gave me a worrisome look. “I’ll wait for you.”
Shaking my head, I started to walk backwards. “No, don’t you have something going on at home today? Some dinner or something?”
Her face fell.
“I’ll take the bus; it’ll be fine. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” I gave her a half-smile and turned around quickly so she wouldn’t argue with me. I made my way to the office’s oak doors where Headmaster Walton was waiting for me in all his glory.
He didn’t come out of his office much. I never really saw him roam the halls. He was securely tucked away in his large, expansive office with hundreds of books lining the built-in bookshelves. I couldn’t blame him. If I could hide out in there, I would.
Once I was within spitting distance, Headmaster Walton glanced at the scratches on my face. His brows furrowed as he turned around and walked back into his office. I gave Ms. Boyd a nervous smile, clutching my backpack for dear life, and headed in after him.
Ann was standing near his desk, wearing a skirt and a blouse, with her arms crossed over her chest. She didn’t look like her normal, sunshine-y self, and that didn’t sit well with me.
Alarms went off in my head. My stomach felt queasy.
“What happened?”
Acting dense, I brushed my hands down my plaid skirt. “What do you mean? I’m fine. In fact,”—I met her eyes—“I got a perfect score on my world language test today.”
“Cut the shit, Hayley.” Headmaster Walton, now sitting at his desk, sighed heavily at Ann’s choice of words. “What happened to your face? Was it Pete?”
“And who is Pete?” he asked, placing his hands flat on his desk.
Ann answered sharply without taking her eyes off my face. “Her foster father.”
“No. It wasn’t Pete.” I was hoping she couldn’t tell I was sweating underneath my uniform. Even the backs of my knees were sweating. “I fell at the game.”
She rolled her eyes. “You fell at the football game and got scratches all over your face? I don’t think so.”
I mean, it technically wasn’t a lie.
I huffed. “Do you want a witness?”
“No, I want you to tell me the truth! If your foster parents aren’t treating you correctly—which we both know they aren't—I need to know, Hayley.”
A sarcastic laugh erupted. “Are we going to do this again?” I evened out my tone, trying to remain calm, but the thought of Ann making this bigger than it needed to be almost sent my nerves through the roof. I’ll be damned if I go to a group home. “Ann, I’m not lying. Pete did not do this. Things are fine at home. Pete doesn’t talk to me. I don’t talk to him. Everything is fine.”
“I don’t believe you.” She shook her head and looked at Headmaster Walton. “Have you heard anything? What about that gir
l that stole her clothes?”
Headmaster Walton sighed. “I haven’t heard anything but good things about Miss Smith. Her teachers rave about her. She’s quiet, focused, and receives the best of the best grades. She’s soaring here. I’d hate to see you take her out of her current placement and take her somewhere else farther away, making it impossible for her to get here in the mornings, given she doesn’t have transportation.”
My face felt hot. Maybe Christian was right. Maybe Headmaster Walton truly needed me in his school. Whatever. It didn’t matter. He was right. I agreed with him, and what he said basically came directly from my own brain. If she took me out of Pete and Jill’s and put me into a group home, it would be a domino effect in ruining my already shitty life.
“I have a witness,” I blurted. “Christian saw me fall. He helped me up.”
Headmaster Walton eyed me suspiciously, his bushy, graying brows gathering together. “Christian was on the field, playing football, my dear.”
Shaking my head quickly, I said, “No, it was right after. Piper was in her car, waiting for me. I had to use the restroom and fell while walking to the parking lot. He was going to the locker room.” Please believe me—or at least play along. I shot him a look behind Ann’s back. Come on.
“Well, fine. I want to ask Christian myself.”
I almost growled at Ann. “Why are you being so difficult?”
The planes of her face softened. “Because I care about you.”
My heart grew. Why do those words always affect me so much? Headmaster Walton called Ms. Boyd on the phone and asked if she could locate Christian; he told her he’d likely be on the field for football practice.