by S. J. Sylvis
He chuckled, his eyes darting down to my lips. I felt my face get hot, and I could only hope he didn’t notice. If he were to push me just a little bit further, dip his mouth closer to mine, I wouldn’t have cared that I was surrendering to a boy who had hated me just a few weeks ago. I’d forget all about the fact, that had been proven to me over and over again, that needing people made me weak. I wouldn’t have cared about anything other than Christian, and I couldn’t afford that. I couldn’t afford to get lost in him, because if I did, Hayley Smith would be lost forever.
“Whatever you say, Hayley.” His breath was minty as the words left his lips and floated down to my level.
I straightened my shoulders, adjusted my skirt, raised my chin, turned on the heel of my Chucks, and walked out of the stairwell. I didn’t take a breath until I rounded the corner. The bell sounded, and I couldn’t have been more thankful to be lost in a sea of teenagers. Maybe that way, Christian wouldn’t find me panting like a porn star from his touch.
“I can’t believe we’re having our first girls’ night!” Piper plopped down on the sofa beside me, wearing a matching PJ set. If it were anyone else, I might have been embarrassed that I was wearing my old sleep shorts and an old band T-shirt, but not with Piper. She seemed to accept me in any form, even beat-up and bruised.
“I know.” I tore a Twizzler from the pack laying on the coffee table. “I cornered Jill while she was making dinner last night. Pete was outside, working on his stupid, beat-up truck.”
Opening a bag of Cheetos, she said, “Well, kudos to Jill for being nice for once.” She crunched on an orange twig and snagged the remote. “Okay, Twilight marathon?”
“Twilight, like the vampires?”
Piper paused and tucked her hair behind her ears. She slowly sat up from lounging back on the sofa and angled her body in front of mine. “Please, please, pleeeeeeaase tell me you know what Twilight is.”
I smiled shyly. “Of course.” I scanned the rec room we were tucked away in on the first floor of her gigantic house. Her parents were away on another trip to somewhere exotic, so it was just the two of us. “I’ve just never seen the movies.”
“What?” she squealed, covering her face with her hands. “Have you at least read the books?”
I smiled, remembering the first time I had read the books. “Yes, and I’m Team Edward. I’ll only watch the movies with you if you’re Team Edward, too.”
This felt nice. Like I was somewhat normal. Laughing with my friend, watching a girly love movie on a Friday night. This was what teenage girls did, right? I’d never had a girls’ night, unless it was with one of my foster sisters, and that wasn’t the same thing. Trust me.
Piper pulled her hair up in a ponytail using a scrunchie. “I knew we were meant to be best friends.” Once she flipped the lights down low, she started to search the TV for the movie. My eyes were glued to the massive flat screen, not sure I’d ever seen a TV so big. It was as big as a movie theatre screen.
“So, when did you read the books? How long ago?”
I settled back into the couch, pulling the blanket over my lap. “It was shortly after I went into foster care. The first two houses weren’t that bad,” I began, the memory of being tucked away in a strange bedroom surrounded by books to help me cope with my new life enveloping me. “The Berkshires were an older couple. They were the first house I stayed in. They were attentive to me, nice. Nothing like Pete and Jill.” I chuckled, getting sucked into the memory. “My room was all done up in purple with a butterfly quilt. My first thought was that it was kiddish, but then I remembered that I was a kid, despite all the growing up I had done in the last year.”
“What happened?” Piper’s voice almost startled me.
I shook my head, clearing the vision of purple butterflies. “Right after the police froze my father’s accounts, my mom moved us to a trailer park in Pike Valley. She was never a good mom, never really attentive to me—my father was the stellar parent of the bunch, even if he did launder money.” I sighed. “But after he died, she kinda shut down. Everything happened so fast. My mom got a job at a diner and stopped coming home most nights. Eventually, when she did, she’d sleep for days, or she’d bring men home with her. A lot of bad shit happened that I don’t like to talk about. There were a lot of drugs floating around, and we never had money. I didn’t eat much. It was…bad. A teacher ended up notifying CPS after a parent-teacher conference, and that was when I was taken to the Berkshires’. Then, Mr. Berkshire got sick, and they couldn’t take care of me anymore, so I was moved to my next foster home after a couple of months.” I smiled. “They let me keep some books, though. Hence, when I read Twilight.”
Piper’s voice was soft as she pointed the remote to the screen, pressing play. “I’m sorry you had to leave them.”
I huffed out a sigh, snagging another Twizzler. “Me too.”
Her attention was on me now instead of Bella and her father on the screen. “So, what about the next house? Bad or good?”
I couldn’t help the smile slithering onto my face. “It wasn’t all bad.”
“What does that mean?”
I bit my lip. I’d never told anyone about Kyle. Not a single soul. It was my little secret—and his. I felt a Cheeto ping the side of my head, causing me to look at Piper. “Tell me!” she whined, smiling.
Oh, what the hell.
I pulled the blanket up tighter, letting it rest just below my chin. “The house itself wasn’t the best. The family was okay. They weren’t nearly as attentive as the Berkshires, but they weren’t mean to me by any means. It just wasn’t a good neighborhood. But then there was Kyle.”
“And who is Kyle?” Piper’s face lit up, eager for the rest of my story.
I pictured Kyle’s face in my head as I continued on, his blond hair and sky-blue eyes. He was the first boy who had caught my attention since leaving Christian behind. “Kyle was my neighbor. He was a couple years older than me.”
“Oh, so an older boy.” Piper’s eagerness only grew.
I laughed. “Yeah, he made the house bearable, to say the least. We’d hang out on our front stoops, talking until the wee hours of the night.”
“So, was he your boyfriend?”
A sad smile crept onto my face as my heart grew warm. I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe? He went to a vocational school, so there wasn’t a point in putting a label on us. We were just”—I shrugged again, thinking—“us.”
“Did you love him?”
I laughed again. “No.” I kicked her playfully. “You should know by now that I never let myself get that close to someone. Not while being a foster kid and being uprooted so much. But Kyle and I were nice in the moment.”
Piper smiled before turning her attention back toward the TV. I sensed that she felt kind of bad for me. Her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, and it looked as if she wanted to say something else but held back.
“He took my virginity.”
Her head snapped over to mine, and I continued on. I can’t believe I’m telling someone this.
“In a park tunnel. You know those tunnels that little kids crawl through?”
Her mouth gaped open, and then she threw her head back, laughing. “Are you kidding?”
Giggling erupted from me as my face burned. I shook my head and pulled the blanket over my face.
Before I knew it, she pulled the blanket down. Her smile was still plastered to her face, but hers wasn’t as playful. “Don’t be embarrassed. I lost my V-card at a Wellington Prep party… and I don’t even know who took it. The room was too dark, and it just happened.”
My eyebrows raised. Wow, I definitely didn’t peg her as a girl who’d do that. “Wait, what?”
Shame had her brows furrowing. “I know. I’m a slut.”
“What?” I almost yelled. The blanket dropped to my lap. “That does not make you a slut, Piper.”
She shrugged as a sigh escaped her mouth. “Well, regardless, my story isn’t as cool as yours. Sex in
a park tunnel with an older guy? Sounds hot.”
I stifled a laugh. “It wasn’t nearly as hot as you’d think. It was awkward and uncomfortable, but it was the only place we could think to do it without my foster parents or his mom finding us.”
Her head knocked to the side. “So, did you guys ever do it again? Somewhere else?”
This time I felt the fire rushing to my cheeks. “Yes.”
She squealed and begged me to tell her more, but the doorbell went off. Both of our laughs faded as we locked eyes.
It was well after 11pm. We were alone in a huge house out past city limits. “Expecting anyone?” I asked, my heart jumping to attention.
Piper thought for a moment as she shook her head. Then, she grabbed her phone and dialed someone. The doorbell went off again.
Piper quickly asked whoever she’d called, “Is that you at the front door?”
I could hear the background noise from the call. It sounded like a party of some sort. Piper rolled her eyes and hung up quickly.
“Who’d you call?” I asked, slowly standing up.
She sighed. “No one important.”
I wanted to question her further, but knocking erupted from down the hall. “Is this place alarmed?”
Piper ran over to the hallway to look and shook her head. “I forgot to arm it.”
Normally, I wouldn’t have freaked out, but with last Friday still fresh in my mind, my body was in a frenzy. Adrenaline spiked my blood, and suddenly, I felt my feet carrying me to the front door, the pads of my feet gliding over the plush carpet. Piper stood behind me, both of us proceeding with caution.
She had her phone in her hand, ready to call for help if need be.
I reached up on my tiptoes and peeked through the peephole, expecting to see someone. But no one was there. I turned back around, looked at Piper, and raised my shoulders. Maybe it was the wrong house?
Just then, we heard a bang on the window. Piper screamed, and my heart lodged itself into my throat. What if it’s them?
The doorbell rang again, and this time, my body acted of its own accord. I snatched an umbrella that was resting in the corner and swung the door open. Fury rested on my shoulders, and I was ready to take my attackers head-on.
I poked the umbrella outward like a sword before my eyes even registered who it was.
“What the fuck, Hayley!” Christian bent over at the waist, wheezing. His hand clamped down on the umbrella, and he jerked it out of my grasp. I gasped and was suddenly brought back to reality as Ollie and Eric roared with laughter from behind Christian.
“Sorry!” I stepped further out onto the porch and watched Christian slowly stand back up, one hand on his stomach where I’d poked him and the other gripping the umbrella. “I thought you were—"
His broody stare pinned me to my spot. “I know who you thought I was, and I hate to say it, but a fucking umbrella isn’t a wise choice.” He shook his head after rolling his eyes. “This is exactly why we’re here.”
Piper crossed her arms over her frilly pajama top. “What exactly are you three jerks doing here? And how do you even know where I live?”
Ollie stepped forward, his blond hair appearing darker than it really was. “We broke into the headmaster's office and looked it up.” His cheek lifted. “And nice pajamas.” Then he winked. Piper shifted on her feet as her cheeks turned pink.
Breaking up their moment and storing it away in the “ask about later” part of my brain, I shifted on my feet, wishing my sleep shorts were a little longer. I’d worn these before when Christian stayed over, but I’d always been under the covers and facing the wall when he'd climbed through my window. What does it matter? He literally had his lips on the part these shorts are hiding. “What do you want?”
Christian pushed through the door, causing Piper and me to part like the Red Sea. Ollie and Eric followed, leaving us standing there looking like we were deer caught in headlights. She mouthed, “What the hell?” to me, but I was just as surprised.
I peeked outside, scanning the dark and desolate road before shutting the door behind me. Piper mumbled, “These jerks are ruining our girls’ night—again.” I held back a laugh and followed the guys. They acted nonchalant, as if they’d been at Piper’s house plenty of times.
“Christian!” I stopped in the doorway of the expansive and newly remodeled kitchen with its sky-high ceiling and sparkling new appliances that probably cost more than Jill and Pete’s entire house. “What are you doing here?”
When we spoke last night, after he climbed through my window and into my bed (on top of the covers), he asked me again if I was still staying at Piper's. I assumed he was just making sure he didn’t need to climb in my window. I snarkily told him to go to Eric’s after the game and to have a grand ol’ time and enjoy the fact that he wouldn’t need to babysit me.
I didn’t know why I had said it like that. Jealousy was itching all over my skin at the thought of him going to Eric’s with all the girls that drooled over him at school, so I lashed out, but I got a sense that he enjoyed it.
He wanted me jealous of the girls he frequented.
But I wasn’t going to make that stupid, schoolgirl mistake again. Christian could do what he wanted. His hands and mouth on my body were a one-time thing. There was too much heavy baggage between Christian and me—too much drama that hadn't been dealt with.
Christian leaned back on the island in the middle of the kitchen, appearing casually hot in his tight black T-shirt, slightly wet hair, and jeans. “You guys are coming to the party with us.”
I placed my hands on my hips, my gray Metallica T-shirt rising a smidge. “No, we are not.”
His stare deepened as he flicked it down to my bare legs and back. “Yes, you are.”
“No.” I stood my ground.
“Yes,” he snarled.
Piper interrupted our soaring match. “Why the hell do you want us to come to your party?” She was looking at Eric now who had remained silent for most of the conversation.
He sighed out a chuckle. “It’s not me who wants you there. It’s him.” He nodded his head full of coal-colored hair at Christian.
I crossed my arms over my chest, annoyed. “I’m not going to some stupid party where you all pass around girls like they’re a goddamn bong.”
Ollie snickered, trying to hold in his laugh.
“Is that jealousy I hear?” Christian raised an eyebrow, his cool and calm demeanor back in place.
Mortification had me feeling like my body was plunging into a fire pit. I was quick—probably too quick—to say, “Absolutely not. You can fuck any girl you want and pass her on. Why would I care? I just don’t want to go.”
Christian smirked after staring at me for a second too long. “Piper? Do you want to go?”
I glanced over at her in her lavender, floral pjs, and my stomach took a nosedive. Ugh, she so wants to go!
She looked at me once and squeaked out. “No.”
“Lie,” Ollie mused as he threw an arm over her shoulder. She shrugged it off, but a small smile was ghosting her lips.
Be a good friend, Hayley. She wants to go. Eric answered a call on his phone while I contemplated. I grabbed Piper’s arm and pulled her into the dining room. We were standing beside a large, crystal-glass dining room table with a huge vase atop full of lilies. By the smell of the room, the flowers were real. “Do you want to go?”
Piper teetered her lip back and forth. “No.”
I placed my hands on her shoulders. “We’re friends; you can tell me the truth.”
Her pale face turned pink again, the few freckles on her nose even more prominent. “I mean, I’ve never been to one of Eric’s parties. They’re kind of an English Prep staple, ya know? Even if I’m only being invited because of Christian’s infatuation with you, I still kind of want to see the hype.”
Ugh. I knew this was a bad idea even before I agreed, but nonetheless, I did it anyway.
“Fine.” I turned around and began walking bac
k to the kitchen. “But I need something to wear,” I called over my shoulder.
She squealed as she followed me.
“Fine. We will go.” I glared at Christian’s smug expression. “But don’t let me stand in your way from getting laid. I’m not going for you. I’m going for Piper.”
Ollie’s eyes lit up. “Oooh, can we watch?”
I smacked him in the shoulder on my way past him, Piper hot on my heels.
“Hurry up!” Christian yelled, and I flipped him off.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Christian
My fingers tapped on the steering wheel of my Charger as we waited for Hayley and Piper to come out of the house. Eric was still on the phone, tucked away in the backseat, directing someone to grab a keg on the way to his cabin. Ollie was looking out the window into the darkness surrounding Piper’s yard.
“So, what exactly is your plan? I thought I heard you telling Kayla you’re hers tonight after the game.” Ollie shook his hair out, his leg tapping up and down. “I mean, I can’t blame you. She’s pretty fuckin’ hot in her cheerleading uniform, but”—he sliced his eyes to me—“I know you have someone else on your mind at all times.”
I played it off. “You heard Hayley; she’s not there for me.”
He held back a grin. “Oh, but you’re there for her.”
Yes, I fucking am, and I’ll prove to her she’s there for me, too. I kept silent, listening to Parkway Drive play through the speakers of my car.
Yesterday in the stairwell was a minor dip in my cool facade. My hands around Hayley’s waist, the heat I felt fly through my body, the thoughts of the night prior, the exhilaration of her face being so close again—I was ready to kiss her until she begged for more. My dick still throbbed, and my body was in overdrive the rest of the day. I barely slept a wink in her room, even after making the pit stop. I surely thought pounding flesh with my bare hands would be a great outlet for everything that was built up inside of me, but I was wrong.