“Banana,” Liam whispered, pulling me back into myself. When I opened my eyes, I saw why he’d used the safe word. A massive erection was mere inches from my face. It took all my willpower not to ignore his safe word and keep my exploration going. But a safe word had to be honored, or there was no trust.
Reluctantly, I fell back onto my knees and sat on the floor. Liam quickly put his shirt back on and walked several feet away from me.
“Sorry…” I said after a minute. My voice was small. “I…well, let’s just say I don’t think the scars are going to be quite the problem you were envisioning.” The bigger issue was me. I’d lost control. I’d completely forgotten the boundaries.
“No. That’s where you’re wrong, Chloe.” He walked past me toward the door. “If Angel does what you just did on Friday…I won’t be able to stop myself. I won’t have a safe word with her. I’ll make a fool of myself. This was a mistake. I’m not ready for this. I may never be.” He looked down at himself and frowned, clearly not happy with his body’s betrayal.
With that, he walked out the door, leaving me feeling empty, hurt, and more alone than I have felt in years. This was on me. I should never have allowed us to start this plan. I screwed up. I always did. If there was one thing I was good at, it was breaking things. That’s why I was still single at thirty-four. Who was I to be giving Liam relationship advice? Especially on what women wanted when I didn’t have a clue myself.
No. You know what you want, Chloe. You just can’t have him.
“You shut up,” I hissed at my brain, “I’m just horny.” That’s all. Once I got laid, I’d be able to think clearer. Then, I’d be able to find a way to make this all up to Liam. I was giving out bad advice because I was trying to hook up with him. That’s not what Liam was for. I had boy-toys for that. It was time I phoned a ‘friend’ so that I could get back to being the best friend Liam needed me to be.
Taking out my phone, I texted five of my last hookups. Whoever texted back first was going to get the booty call of their lives. I needed this. My friendship with Liam needed this. So why did I hate myself for sending those texts?
When it became clear no one was texting me back hours later, I knew I was going to have to get out of my apartment and find someone to ‘help’. What I could not do, was sit at home by the phone. Otherwise, I’d wallow and get inside my head too much. I needed to cut loose, release the tension.
My stomach rumbled, reminding me I needed to eat before I filled myself with booze. I raided my fridge and scarfed down a frozen dinner, then hit the shower again. My hair had gone extra crazy thanks to the damn sessions, so I needed to freshen up.
After, I got dressed in the sluttiest outfit I owned: a black leather miniskirt, black halter top which showed off my midriff, a black, see-through lace bra underneath and my fuck-me-hard-heels. I went so far as to even wear a thong; the most hated item of clothing ever invented.
All I needed now was a date.
I glanced at my phone as I curled my hair. Nothing. Still. Not a single reply.
“Fine. Random hook up it is,” I hissed into the mirror. The Universe was not going to screw this night up for me. I was going to go home with someone tonight if it killed me.
Grabbing my purse from off the table, I noticed Liam had left his jacket here. I sighed. He was going to want that in the morning, and I didn’t want him coming to look for it later tonight if I had a guy over. Letting out a breath, I scooped it up to drop it off.
Locking my apartment behind me, I debated leaving his jacket on his door handle. I really didn’t want to talk to him, but I also didn’t trust my neighbors not to swipe it.
Before I knocked, however, I heard a noise coming from inside. It almost sounded like…sobbing? My ear pressed against the door to listen better. Yup. That was definitely crying. I had never seen Liam cry. Not even when his father died last year.
Pressure formed around my gut. I was stuck between leaving him in peace and needing to comfort him. I was not a fan of my friends crying. Especially when I was probably the one responsible for the tears.
Without knocking, I opened the door because I knew it would be unlocked. He never locked his door if he was home. Moron.
When I got inside, I noticed him sitting on his couch. The couch faced away from the door, so he didn’t see me come in. He was hunched over. Still sobbing.
“Liam? Are you okay?” I whispered.
He froze then, probably embarrassed he’d been caught being emotional. He wiped his face quickly, stood up and walked into his kitchen without looking at me.
“What do you need, Chloe?”
“You left your jacket at my place. I’m going out so, I wanted to make sure you had it…”
He turned around then, and the kitchen light caught his eyes. Even from here, I could see they were bloodshot. My heart broke for him. Well, until he looked at me with disgust.
“Where the hell are you going dressed like a call girl?” he asked.
“Excuse me?” My pity was replaced with anger.
He just shook his head, clearly disgusted. “Whatever. Go have fun with your latest conquest.”
Liam turned away from me and went into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.
“Oh, no he didn’t,” I hissed. He did not just shut the door in my face.
Fuck that shit. He wasn’t getting away with that. I marched through his living room, threw my purse and jacket on the couch, and then let myself into his bedroom.
“Go away, Chloe,” Liam said, face down and spread eagle on his bed.
“You don’t get to call me a hooker and then shoo me away. That’s not what friends do.”
He started to laugh, then rolled over. “And what is it that friends do? Get them into situations that they have no hope but failing at? If that’s what friends do, I’ll pass.” He flopped his back onto the bed and threw an arm over his eyes attempting to shut me up. Clearly, he didn’t know me that well.
“No way, buddy. You don’t get to put all this on me. You are the one who came to me asking for help. You asked me for tips.”
“Tips!” he shouted sitting up. He got off the bed and stood nose to nose with me. He was pissed. I’d never seen him this angry.
“I asked you for help in how to behave on a first date. It was you who took it upon yourself to teach me the hands-on approach.”
I narrowed my eyes at him as I stood there, mouth agape “My idea? You are the one who balked at my suggestion to watch some steamy movies and listen to verbal instructions. You wanted this. You asked to kiss me, remember?”
He frowned realizing I was right, but then barked at me again. “Well, you didn’t need to be quite so thorough.”
“And why do you think I was, Liam?”
“Because you wanted me to crash and burn on this date! You wanted to make sure I’d humiliate myself! You knew this would be too much for me to handle!”
He was clearly in panic mode, which meant he was not going to hear anything I said if I continued to be angry, so I let out a slow breath to reign in my anger so that he stood a chance of actually hearing me. “Okay, for starters, I do not want your date with Angel to fail. In fact, I wanted you to knock her socks off. And the best way to do that is to teach you in the manner that I know you learn best, which is hands on. It’s your god damn learning style, dipshit!” I’d let a touch of my anger show despite my attempt to remain even keeled, but I couldn’t help it. He drove me crazy sometimes.
He glared at me, but he didn’t say anything because he knew I was right. It’s how he learned the piano, it’s how he learned to solve a Rubik’s Cube in less than a minute, it’s how he learns everything. He needs to get his hands on the problem. Literally. So what if I got some kicks out of the deal, too?
“Well, your lessons aren’t working. I’m supposed to go out with her in three days and I feel more confused than I was before I agreed to go out with her!” he huffed. He was clearly upset, but it wasn’t with me. He was mad at himself. He s
incerely thought he wasn’t making progress. He felt like a failure. That was on me.
“Liam,” I said, placing a hand on his chest. I could feel his heart thumping loudly through the shirt. Although my hands longed to feel his skin again, I kept them still on the fabric “You have made major steps forward in your efforts. Don’t you remember that it wasn’t that long ago that you head-butted me when you went in for a kiss? Now we have a damn safe word because we keep turning each other on!”
Liam cocked his head as though having a hard time taking my words as truth. “It’s biology,” I continued. “You touch someone attractive, the body leaps into baby-making mode. It has nothing to do with anything other than instincts. My point, here, is that if I had let you go see Angel before physically showing you what a great kiss felt like, you’d be planning a trip to the ER after you concussed her on her porch steps!”
“A lot of good that knowledge does, when you haven’t taught me how to turn it off.”
I raised my eyebrows and walked over to him until I was so close that my boobs hit him. He didn’t back away.
“That’s my fault? You’re the one who gave up. You chickened out,” I said, pushing even closer to him.
He shook his head slowly. “You broke the rules when you took my shirt off,” he countered, but he was losing steam. The proximity between us was shrinking. Even I was having a hard time breathing. He was so close to me.
“Yes,” I whispered. “That was wrong of me. I crossed a line. I’m sorry.”
His lips were inches away.
“You’re forgiven.”
I could feel his gaze on my lips. Just as mine were focused on his. All I had to do was rise up onto my tip toes and the ache that had formed in my chest could finally stop. But he wasn’t mine to kiss. He was my friend. That’s all he would ever be. I forced my body to stay put.
As the teacher, I had to put the brakes on. I closed my eyes and took a step back, but I felt his hands wrap around my back, pulling me back to him.
“You did tell me this sort of thing takes lots of practice,” he said.
I swallowed. “Tons.”
“What’s the next lesson, then?”
That was all the permission I needed to pounce. I came at him hard and fast. It was much too aggressive a move and it ended up throwing us both off our balance, landing perfectly on his bed.
Normally, I would have apologized for my clutzy nature, but horny me was beyond giddy that I’d landed on top of Liam. I had lost the battle of wills. My libido was in the driver’s seat. All thoughts of putting on the brakes were wiped away.
I began hiking up my already too-short skirt to straddle his waist. Doing so caused my thong and basically naked ass to be exposed.
Instead of covering up, however, I took his hands and placed them on the bare flesh. He didn’t move them, but he did look at me, questioning the play.
“This doesn’t break the rules. I’m technically still fully clothed.”
I didn’t need to tell his hands what to do. Either he’d been paying attention in the countless sex scenes we’d watched together, or his hands instinctively knew how to latch on to my ass but latch they did. It actually made me throw my head back in desire. It was all I could do not to start rocking against his erection.
His hand reached up to my waist and grabbed onto me, hard. The heat in his eyes was undeniable. While I knew he was doing this for Angel’s eventual benefit, I wasn’t the least bit upset with riding this particular coat tail.
“Kiss me,” I ordered.
He pulled at my waist again until I lowered down on top of him, melting quickly into his kiss.
I had a feeling this was going to be both the best and the worst decision I would ever make.
Making out with Liam was way too easy. Rational thought seemed to float around in my brain but never took root. The way his lips met mine, it was impossible to tell now who the student was and who was the teacher. His kisses had become that good. He definitely wasn’t going to need the full 100 kisses. I’d say he was beyond ready now. So why wasn’t I stopping the lessons?
His lips pulled off mine then, and I could see his forehead was furrowed.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, wondering if he was thinking the same thing.
“I want…” He began, though it was clear he couldn’t seem to articulate the rest of that thought.
I kissed him lightly on the lips.
“What do you want, Liam? Ask, and it’s yours,” I purred. He had no idea the power he held in this moment, which was extremely dangerous.
“I want…to touch you,” he finally said.
I smiled. “So, touch me.”
He let out a long breath, but slowly moved his hand from my waist, up the curve of my ribcage, before finally contacting my breast. I let out a soft moan of appreciation.
“Are you sure this is okay?” he asked. His eyes were pleading.
“I want you to.”
“But...”
I raised my finger to his lips.
“It’s okay. You won’t be losing your virginity tonight. Our clothes stay on, remember?”
He considered that point.
“Right. We can’t cross a line when the line is literally covered up.
“Exactly,” I whispered, desperate for his hands to make contact again. “Less talk now, more touching.”
He wasted no time and began working my breast again, switching between each as though not wanting to leave either alone. My body couldn’t help but respond, and I felt myself rocking against him. Even through his jeans, I could feel him hard under me.
“Chloe, what are you doing?” he grunted, trying to back away from me.
I pushed him down and fully straddled him.
He looked up at me, eyes wide.
“Watch and learn, Liam. Two people can still find release without actually having penetrative intercourse. Your cock will stay caged, and your chastity will still remain intact.”
I reached down and started to take my shirt off.
“Chloe…” he warned, reminding me with his eyes of our clothes on rule.
Instead of taking it off my head, I just pushed my halter top over my head so that my sleeves were still on but my lace and see-through black bra where exposed.
“There. The shirt is still on my body.”
The noise that escaped Liam’s lips betrayed how turned on he was by the view, even if I couldn’t feel his reaction underneath me. His was positively bursting out of his jeans.
“That has to be so uncomfortable,” I said, reaching down and feeling his tented jeans.
Liam grabbed at either side of the sheets in fistfuls.
“I’m just going to unzip you, to release the pressure. Don’t worry. I won’t take them off. I promise.”
I started with his belt, being slow and methodical. The button came next, and I could already feel a difference. He was so ready to come out and play.
“Chloe…” Liam panted.
“Shhh, it’s okay. I won’t let him all the way out. But he is so cramped in these pants,” I said, my voice was husky with need.
Slowly, I unzipped his jeans. His swollen cock, still hidden in his boxers, found its way out of the jeans. Now all that separated me from him was one thin layer of blue cotton.
My fingers ran over his length, marveling at its firmness. He was fit to pop. A few more strokes like this and he’d blow his load for sure. He was exactly where I wanted him.
Removing my hand, I placed myself on top of him. I needed to feel him. With only a thong on my wetness easily merged against his warmth.
He audibly gasped as I rocked forward and backwards.
“Chloe,” he panted.
“Yes, feel it. Let your body react. Don’t be afraid of it,” I said, reaching down to take his still fisted hands off the sheet.
“Put that energy on my breasts,” I said.
He willingly accepted my suggestion and focused his attention there. I arched my back against his touch,
desperate to feel all of him, but knowing I couldn’t, all the while never stopping my rhythm against him. He was so hard, and I was so close.
“Chloe,” his voice was strained. He was trying to hold back.
“Let it go, Liam. Come for me. I want to feel you explode against me,” I begged.
His hips started to rock against me, as though he had finally given himself permission to move. Just a few hungry thrusts from him were all my body needed to release. He grabbed my ass and rocked into me hard, and I tipped over the edge, screaming his name in pleasure. My orgasm seemed to set him off, because he rammed against my core once more so hard that he came, too.
Instantly, I could feel the warmth spreading through his underwear against my thong. He let out a large grunt and then collapsed into the bed. I lay down on his chest, smiling and satisfied. I’d just given Liam his first dry hump, and it had been anything but dry.
As I lay against Liam, watching his breathing slowly come back to normal, I wondered what it might be like to be with him. Like in every sense of the word. I mean, if I responded this easy to him, there was no telling what actual intercourse could be like. It would be fun showing him new positions, helping him discover his sexuality. He was wrong to think of his lack of experience as a deficit. It was anything but.
But then reality hit me square in the jaw. He wasn’t interested in that with me. His focus has always been on Angel. I was only a physical release for him. I knew from the first moment Liam mentioned Angel years ago that he was like a swan. And they mate for life.
Chloe! What are you doing in Liam’s bed? Get out of there. You are such a skank!
There was my voice of reason.
I suddenly felt dirty. Tears burned around my eyes, but I didn’t want Liam to see. He could never know that this whole thing had meant more to me than it had to him. Somehow in all this, I’d let myself fall for Liam. This was not good. I had to escape, so I put on a smiling mask and sat up.
“Well, I hate to release and run,” I said laughing to hide the emotion, “but we could both use some sleep. I’m beat.”
The First 100 Kisses: Practice Makes Perfect Page 9