by Tabatha Kiss
I drop my eyes to our feet as my heart twists. “Oh.”
He taps a finger beneath my chin, nudging me to look up again. “You know, that dress of yours is really doing things to me.”
“What kind of things?”
“Like…” He leans in a little closer, dropping his voice to a soft whisper. “It’s making me want to lay you down and slides your panties off with my teeth…” I bite my lip as a shiver scratches down my spine. “I want to bury my face in your—”
“John!”
A large hand slaps his shoulder and I let go of him as we pull apart.
“Hey, Coach!” John says. The hand slips from his shoulder and he shakes it, acting like it’s no big deal at all while my gut sinks down to my toes.
Oh, god. It’s Cary freakin’ Pierce.
He grins at John. “I see you’re having fun.”
Oh, god. Oh, god.
“You know me, Coach,” John says, “I always bring a little fun with me, just in case.”
My chest jerks, trying to keep calm as my ankles tremble in my heels.
Cary nods at me and I freeze. “And what is fun’s name today?”
I open my mouth to speak. “I…”
“This is Rose,” John says, poking my side. “She’s a friend of mine and — obviously — a big fan of yours. You signed a ball for her last year. It’s her most prized possession.”
My cheeks catch fire and I throw a hard glare at John.
“Really?” Cary asks, extending his hand to me. “Gotta love a girl who loves her sports.”
I blink as my tiny fingers disappear in his giant fist. “Yes, sir,” I say, my voice sounding about three pitches higher than usual.
”Welcome, Rose. I hope you’re having a good time.”
“Oh, I am!”
John lays a hand on the small of my back to keep me from falling over. “It was a nice ceremony, Coach.”
“Thank you.”
“How does it feel having Junior in the family?”
“Eh…” Cary winces with feigned disappointment before flashing a smile across the dance floor towards Junior. “He makes my daughter happy. I can’t complain — not that she’d let me anyway.”
“Sounds good enough,” John laughs.
Cary pats his shoulder again. “Find me before you leave. I want to hear about your plans for after graduation. I could make some calls for you.”
“Will do, Coach. Thanks.”
With a quick wink towards me, Cary Pierce takes off into the crowd and I watch as his head towers above everyone else.
John steps into my line of sight. “You okay, Rose?” he teases.
I take a shallow breath. “Yep.”
“Are you gonna throw up?”
“Nope.”
“You’re going to faint, aren’t you?”
“Maybe.”
He wraps an arm around my waist. “Just breathe...”
“Okay.” I lean into his grip and he chuckles, his breath tickling my cheek.
“Now, where was I?” he asks, his finger trailing down my arm.
“You…” I say, taking a quick step away, “were going to go grab me a drink.”
He nods. “I can do that.”
I watch him leave, grinning to myself as he makes his way towards the open bar set up across the room.
Maybe I’m just seeing the world through rose-tinted wedding lenses but I honestly can’t shake the joy burrowing its way through my gut.
John Kirby. Now, I’m definitely sure that no one else knows him like I do. He’s not like the rest of them at all.
“Mind if I cut in, sweetheart?”
I cringe as a strong hand wraps around my waist, pulling me in until I’m pressed hard against his wide chest. He snatches my hand to keep me in place and I lean away from him as his thick cologne invades my nose.
“Douglas…” I spit. “Let go of me.”
He keeps his strong grip. “So, it all makes sense now…”
“What makes sense now?”
“Why you wouldn’t go out with me again.”
I lean back. “I wouldn’t go out with you again because you’re an asshole, Douglas.”
“So, you’re the little birdie whispering sweet nothings into John Kirby’s ear at night.” He shakes his head at me, amused. “No wonder he leaves parties all by himself nowadays.”
I feel a rush of pride. Hearing about John’s loyalty from a second-hand source certainly settles any butterflies I may have had about it.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lie. “He’s in my chemistry class. We’re just good friends.”
“Oh, well…” he smirks, “if you’re such good friends, then he must have told you all about the challenge he and I have, right?”
I pause. “What challenge?”
“The trifecta,” he says, studying my falling face. “Oh, come on. You know about it. Senior year. Gotta sleep with a freshman, an alumnus… and a teacher.” He smiles wider. “Guess which one you are—”
“You’re lying.” I try to tug free of his grasp but he squeezes me a little tighter.
He leans closer with his smiling eyes pointing over my shoulder. “Ask him yourself,” he whispers.
“Let her go, Douglas.”
He loosens his grip on me and I turn around to see John towering over my shoulder. He grips my elbow and pulls me out of Douglas’ hands, drawing the eyes of several other around us.
“Calm down, Johnny,” Douglas says. “Rose and I were just catching up. Isn’t that right, sweetheart?”
“I don’t give a shit what you were doing,” John says, stepping closer to him. “Stay away from her.”
“It’s too late, man,” he chuckles. “I already told her.”
John looks at me, the anger in his eyes quickly overwhelmed with shame and my gut lurches. “Rose…”
He extends a hand to me but I take a quick step back.
“Don’t touch me.”
“I can explain—”
“Is it true?”
“Yes,” Douglas answers. “It’s true.”
John points at him. “Shut up.”
A rock grows in my throat. “Oh, god…”
“Rose, don’t listen to him.”
Douglas shakes his head. “A little honesty goes a long way, John. I mean, she probably told you about that night we spent together, right, sweetheart?”
John pauses, his eyes sliding between anger and confusion as he looks down at me. “What night?”
Douglas laughs again and nausea slams me down.
“Excuse me,” I whisper, walking backward. “I can’t be here anymore.”
“Rose.”
I ignore him, beelining through the crowd back to our table for my purse before bolting towards the door.
Maybe John Kirby is just like the rest of them after all.
Chapter 21
John
“Rose!”
Douglas chuckles behind me. “Now, that was fun.”
I turn towards him and my hands roll into fists. “What did you say?”
“Oh, come on,” he scoffs. “Don’t tell me you actually liked her. She was a frigid bitch. You should be thanking me.”
“Thanking you?” I seethe.
I feel a hard palm on my chest.
“Not here, John,” Junior says.
My eyes scan the ballroom, locking with everyone standing around us as they watch in suspense.
Junior puts a little more pressure on me to draw me away from Douglas. “Come on,” he says, sliding between us.
Douglas smirks at me as I turn away. “Tell me, Johnny, does she still have those adorable freckles on her inner thigh?”
I spin back around, ready to tear his limbs off and beat him to death with his own legs but a burst of white darts out in front of me.
Eliza blocks my path and points a finger at Douglas. “Get out,” she says. “Now.”
He scoffs at her but his smirk fades as he looks up at the rest
of the team closing in around us to back her up — Cary Pierce included.
“Fine,” he slurs and turns back to his table. “Steph, let’s go.”
Stephanie glances up from her phone. “Nah, I’m good,” she chuckles.
He sighs and marches off alone, keeping his distance from me as he walks out of the ballroom.
Junior lets go of me as soon as he’s out of sight. “You okay?”
“Not really,” I mutter. “Sorry about this.”
He pats my shoulder and heads back to Eliza. Luckily, she doesn’t seem too pissed off about the whole thing and offers me a reassuring head nod. Junior looks more proud of her than anything else. Eliza and Junior, setting relationship goals for the rest of us, even on their wedding day.
I look around the room for Rose but she sure as hell isn’t here anymore. For a second, I’m not even sure I want to go after her at all.
Douglas. Why did it have to be him?
I walk through the ballroom, dodging stares until I make it out to the foyer. Still no sign of her.
One minute. That’s all I need. Just one minute to explain this whole thing and she’ll understand. I know she will.
I step outside and wave at a valet standing by the door. “Have you seen a girl? Blonde hair, blue dress?”
He points down the drive and there she is, walking alone towards the highway.
Shit.
I sprint down the long driveway, each step seemingly bringing me closer to her, but the blackness expands with each one I take.
“Rose!”
She keeps her head down and walks faster.
“Rose!”
I finally catch up to her but she doesn’t break her stride.
“Go back inside, John,” she says, looking forward.
“Rose, where are you going?”
“I’m going home.”
“Let me drive you.”
“I already called a cab.”
I swing in front of her to block her path. “Rose, please talk to me.”
“About what?” She looks up at me, her eyes full of tears and smeared make-up. “Be specific.”
I cringe as she throws my words back at me. “Don’t do that.”
“I want you to say it,” she says, smiling weakly. “I want you to tell me, in very specific detail—”
“Rose, stop it.”
“No, I want to know. Are you still banging the other two as well?”
“I didn’t complete the challenge,” I say. “I backed out in October.”
“October?” she repeats. “So, what the hell was September? Did you get bonus points each time you fucked me or something?”
“No, it wasn’t like that.”
“Bullshit.”
“It wasn’t,” I say again. “Okay, yes. The reason why I asked you out in the first place was for the trifecta, but—”
“Get out of my way,” she spits, stepping forward.
I don’t move. “But after that first night together, I fell for you.”
“Do you really expect me to believe that?”
“It’s the truth, Rose.”
She laughs. “I don’t know you at all, do I?”
“You do,” I nod. “More than anybody, you do.”
“I don’t know, John, for some reason, I highly doubt that.”
I grit my teeth. “You don’t have a whole lot to stand on here, Rose. You lied to me, too.”
She frowns. “Excuse me?”
“I asked you — point blank — if you knew Douglas and you said no.”
“Of course, I did,” she says, wiping a stray tear away. “That’s what you do when you try to erase someone from your life. You deny their existence. Isn’t that what guys like you do?”
I pause. “What are you talking about?”
“You know why I’d only done it once, John? Because once was enough for me to know how shitty men can be.”
“Rose—”
“Douglas pursued me for weeks,” she says. “He was kind to me. He stood up for me. He did everything a guy is supposed to do… and then the morning after, he pretended like I didn’t exist at all.”
My heart breaks. “I would never do that to you.”
“But you’ve done it before, right?” Her lip quivers. “Just with some other girl?”
My face falls, barely able to look at her. “Rose…”
“We’re done, John Kirby.”
“No, we’re not.”
“Yes, we are.”
“No, we’re not, Rose.” She tries to spin around me but I jut out in front. “I can see it on your face. You’re pissed and you have every right to be, but this isn’t over. You want to take a stand right now. You want to be the strong one. But deep down, you know as well as I do that this isn’t over.”
She waves at the street, signaling to the incoming taxi to stop. “Stay away from me.”
“I’m sorry,” I tell her, full of desperation. “I didn’t want you to find out like this.”
“Did you ever want me to find out?”
I hesitate. “I—”
She throws up her hands to silence me. “Actually, don’t answer that. I really don’t want to know.”
I stay in place, stuck in my shoes as she throws open the back door of the taxi. “Rose, I’m sorry.”
She ignores me, leaning forward in her seat with her head in her hands as the car rolls away.
Fuck.
***
I charge up the stairs two at a time.
One minute. I just need one more minute to explain all of this and she’ll understand.
Maybe two.
“Rose!”
I knock on her apartment door and lean on the frame to pause and catch my breath.
Come on, Rose.
I lay my ear against the door, listening closely for any movement but she’s always light on her feet. She could easily pretend not to be there but that doesn’t change the fact that I can feel her in there.
I stare at the peephole, watching for that slight dip in brightness to give it all away.
A shadow passes over it and I smile.
“Rose, I know you’re there. Answer the door.”
She doesn’t move. She doesn’t even say anything.
I knock a second time.
Rose answered the door last time. It was irresistible; that final chance to give into something she really wanted — something she desired. I’ve never forgotten how good it felt that first night when the lock finally slid free and she stepped out to look for me.
She’ll do it again. She’ll look at me with that amused annoyance on her face; arms crossed and bold. Then, I’ll kiss her and everything will be okay again.
I step to the side and rest against the wall, out of sight of the peephole just like I did before, silently waiting while I count every breath.
Soon, my pulse sinks back to its normal rhythm and the sweat dries on my brow.
She doesn’t answer.
Chapter 22
Rose
Rock bottom. That’s what this is.
No amount of pep-talk from Daisy could prepare me for how awkward and horrible this week has been.
Just ignore him. Forget about him. You’re the queen and he’s just a pathetic bee. He doesn’t matter.
Ignoring John Kirby would be a lot easier if he weren’t parked in the front row of my fucking class. He’s always there, watching me with squinting eyes, following every move I make, listening to every word I say. Every time I think I’ve mastered the art of forgetting he’s there, my eyes gravitate towards him again and everything that’s happened comes right back to the forefront of my mind.
Chemistry, Rose. Stick to the chemistry.
“If the number of electrons is more than the number of protons in the nucleus, the atom becomes negatively charged.”
John chuckles softly to himself.
I turn away from him, trying hard to ignore it but my tongue moves on its own. “Is there something you’d like to add, Mr. Kirby
?” I ask him.
He shrugs. “An entire atom changed because of a few negative charges. Just seems a little unreasonable to me.”
The class snickers, their expressions stuck between confusion and amusement.
I stare at John. “Well, it’s not unreasonable at all, actually. One spare electron is all it takes to alter the very state of an atom.”
“Sounds like the protons should just get over it,” he mutters.
I raise a brow. “Oh, really?”
“Yeah, I think that would make the atoms very happy.”
“No, I think that would only teach electrons that their negative charges are acceptable behavior.”
He throws up his hands. “Maybe an atom deserves a second chance sometimes. One spare electron isn’t the end of the world.”
“Well, you’re wrong.”
He scoffs. “I disagree.”
“Science doesn’t care whether or not you agree, John.”
“Science changes every day, Ms. Hawthorne! I don’t think it’s too much to ask for a little further experimentation before making a huge mistake.”
I grit my teeth. “Maybe experimentation is what got the atoms into this situation in the first place!”
“Ms. Hawthorne…” Dr. Zach rises from his seat by the door and I cringe, falling silent and John does the same. “Class dismissed.”
The class pauses for a long moment before finally standing up from the chairs, moving fast to get out of here as quick as possible, John included. I keep my head down, too ashamed to even look at them until the rustling of feet finally stops.
Dr. Zach crosses his arms and stares at me. “Well, I’m not sure what to say…”
“That…” I clear my throat. “That wasn’t what it looked like. I can explain—”
“Oh, I am no stranger to subtext, Rose,” he says. “It’s very clear to me what just happened here.”
“I’m sorry, Dr. Zach. It won’t happen again.”
“You’re right. It won’t, because you’re suspended from teaching this course. Effective immediately.”
My jaw drops. “What? No, I—”
“There are plenty of other graduate students just waiting for an opportunity like this, Rose,” he says. “Students that would never publicly disrupt a learning environment with personal drama and up until now, I thought you were among them.”