“What?” she uttered, trying to mask her concern.
“I’m sorry, I just have to ask …”
“Ask what?” she whined inadvertently.
“Okay,” he said, planting his elbows on the table with a confrontational glance. “When I found you here last night …”
Oh, God. Busted. Totally busted. Heather grabbed her lukewarm latte and guzzled half of it down, looking for a calming jolt of caffeine. He knew she’d been waiting for him. He must have known that she’d been on a five-hour stakeout for him. She might as well have had a huge pair of binoculars hanging around her neck, a pith helmet, and a group of resentful natives carrying her supplies. She’d fallen down into the ranks of the hunter-explorer girls. The millions of non-self-respecting stalker-skanks across the nation who lived for no other purpose than to entrap some unsuspecting dude and seduce their way into “last resort late night hook-up” status with him.
“I just don’t understand,” Josh went on as Heather cringed internally. Go on. Say it. Just say it. “I don’t understand what a beautiful girl like you could have possibly been doing alone at Starbucks last night.”
Heather’s head suddenly felt much lighter. Another compliment. Not the end of line. Could she be any more sensitive? Any more of a full-blown loser? Relax, girl. You’re Heather Gannis for God’s sake. Never to be confused with the pathetic Hunter Skanks of the world. She tried to shake off her panic as quickly as possible, hoping it hadn’t shown through her long-rehearsed emergency smile.
“Come on, tell me the truth,” he said with a sly grin. “Did you just break up with your boyfriend or something?”
She was so relieved to be undiscovered that she didn’t even bother holding back with her answer. “Well, not exactly, just” she said, without even thinking. She guzzled some more latte to ease her sudden dry mouth. “It was a little while ago, but, after we broke up … he kind of moved on to this other girl I know.”
Ugh. That was unpleasant to say out loud. Did Josh really need to know this?
“Ooh,” Josh groaned with a comic wince. “Were you, like, good friends with this other girl?”
“No,” Heather laughed, looking more and more at her coffee. “Far from it.”
She found herself wondering what Ed and Gaia were doing at this very moment. The last time she’d seen them, Gaia had actually gone pretty much berserk in the cafeteria, spewing out a totally uncharacteristic jealous tirade at Ed and her new Russian roommate (or something) Tatiana.
Watching them fight could have been some kind of weird relief for Heather, as in maybe things weren’t so damn heavenly in the world of Ed and Gaia. But the fact was, watching Gaia go nuts on Ed and Tatiana had only made Heather feel worse. Jealousy. It was the ultimate proof Heather needed. If she’d had any doubts, now she knew for sure that Gaia was in love with Ed. Only love can make a girl go off on someone like that.
So what were they doing at this moment? They’d probably made up already. And two people are never more in love than when they make up after a fight. They make up. And then they have the makeup hug. And then the makeup kissing.
And then the make up sex.
That’s probably what they were doing at this moment. Having wild passionate makeup sex. Whatever. Whatever. She doesn’t deserve him. She doesn’t deserve to know what it feels like to be with him. I was his first. There’s nothing anyone can do to change—
Whoa, Heather. New leaf! Where the hell is your new leaf?
Right. The new leaf that Heather had worked so hard to turn over. She was through with resentment, and selfish thinking, and petty jealousy. New Heather didn’t have those feelings. New Heather was Gaia’s friend. New Heather tried to help Gaia out of a jam when she needed it. New Heather just wanted to see Ed happy—whomever he was with. Right? Yes…. Yes, that’s right.
“Heather?”
“Huh?” Heather looked back up at Josh. His expression seemed to suggest that he was waiting on an answer to a question. Though Heather hadn’t heard a thing.
“I said are you jealous? You know, of this girl who stole your man,” he joked.
Heather tried to answer before allowing herself to think further. “No,” she blurted out. “I’m not … I mean … I’m really trying to stay away from that kind of thinking, you know … petty jealousies and stuff like that.”
Josh’s grin grew wider as he leaned his stunning eyes closer to Heather’s. “Come on,” he crooned, searching deeper with an extremely cute little taunting glint in his eye. “It’s not petty, Heather, it’s human. You don’t have to pretend with me, you know. You hardly know me. And I don’t know them. It’s the perfect situation to confess. Confess, Heather,” he joked, pointing his finger directly in her face with the archetypal glare of the Grand Inquisitor. “Thou wilt confess thy jealousy.”
Heather could not help but laugh. Gorgeous, smart, and funny. She would think he was just a dream if his long thick finger were not pointing directly between her eyes.
“Well …” she began with a half smile. “I did kind of used to … despise the girl.”
“Ahhh,” Josh exclaimed with a satisfied grin. He ran his finger down the center of Heather’s nose, inducing a full body tingle the size of Canada. “A little honesty. That’s more like it.” He leaned towards her. “Okay, Heather” he said with the mock seriousness of a Freudian psychotherapist. “This mystery girl. Let’s discuss your hatred of this mystery girl. I think it would be very good for you.”
I FINALLY KNOW WHAT FEAR IS. FEAR IS THE DESIRE TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER… THE MOMENT BEFORE THAT DESIRE COMES TRUE
FEARLESS™
… A GIRL BORN WITHOUT THE FEAR GENE
DON’T MISS
FEARLESS #20 SEX
COMING MARCH 2002 FROM SIMON PULSE
Twins Page 16