Carnage

by Lesley Jones

  He stands without putting me down and carries me to his bed. He lays me down and starts to unbutton my jeans. “Cam,” I say on a whimper. “I’m a mess, I don’t want sex.”

  “Shush, shush baby, I’m not gonna touch ya, I promise, I just want ya to be more comfortable… okay?” I nod, too exhausted now to speak; he pulls my jeans off, then takes off his own clothes and slides in beside me in just his boxers. He pulls me tight into his chest and we spoon, my brain doesn’t get the chance to even form any more thoughts before I am drifting off to sleep.

  CHAPTER 14

  Exactly like I did with Marley the night before, I slept soundly in Cam’s arms. I woke on Friday morning to the smell of coffee and opened my eyes to the delicious sight of Cam walking through the bedroom door wearing nothing but a pair of light blue boxers, he looked at me warily and I felt guilty and ashamed of my latest meltdown in front of him last night. He put the coffees down on the bedside table without saying a word, I sat myself up, taking in the sight of his bare arms, chest, abs, legs, every naked bit of him and I’ve got to say, there wasn’t a single bit of him that I didn’t like, he was just an absolute, perfect specimen of maleness.

  He lent forward and tucked my hair behind my ear. “Good morning Kitten, please don’t lick your lips like that, otherwise I swear to God I will not be responsible for my actions.”

  I blushed and smiled at him, I was actually amazed he was being so polite and hadn’t kicked me out on my arse considering my performance the night before. “Thank you for my coffee.”

  He shrugged. “You’re welcome; I didn’t know how you took it.” He smirked at the double entendre then carried on. “So I made it the same way as mine, strong, dash of milk, a little sugar.”

  “Perfect,” I replied.

  “Gee thanks, you’re not so bad yourself Kitten.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me and I couldn’t help but laugh and wonder what it was exactly that my family thought was so scary about this man.

  “So, I best make the walk of shame and get home.”

  He threw his head back and I knew then I was going to be treated to his big booming laugh and he didn’t disappoint, when his eyes met mine he said, “Fuck Kitten, if we had been doing anything shameful here, you wouldn’t be capable of walking anywhere, I’d make sure of that.”

  “Oh you are so sure of yourself.”

  He shrugged his big shoulders, making my eyes flick from his face, down to his chest and back again. “What can I say, I’ve never had any complaints and they always come back begging for more from the Love King.”

  For a split second jealousy flashes through me but I kick it’s arse till it leaves my head and say to him. “‘The Love King’, you seriously just called yourself ‘The Love King’? That’s almost as creepy as fancying twelve year old boys.”

  He shakes his head. “Fuck, you’re never gonna let me forget that one are you?”

  I smile and shake my head. “Hmmm, I’ll keep quiet, as long as you’re nice to me.”

  He looks at me without saying a word for a few seconds, he reaches up and brushes his fingers gently over my left cheek, then leans in and kisses me very gently on the lips. I close my eyes and keep them closed even after he’s taken his mouth from mine. “I want to be more than nice to you Kitten, but we’ll get there.”

  I open my eyes slowly as he speaks. “Are you going to work today?” he asks

  “No, my Mum’s banned me from work till at least Monday, I was gonna get some washing done today.”

  “Wow, life on the edge, dya fancy living dangerously and coming out for lunch with me? I want to have a drive out to a pub in Horndon, they get great reviews for their food and I want to see what all the fuss is about.”

  * * *

  We have a lovely lunch together, Benny drives us in an old car, which I find out is a Jag XJ something, something, it’s all leather and walnut inside and very old manish, I keep this thought to myself, seeing as he seems to be a bit touchy about his age, or my age, or, is it the ten year age difference between us? I’m not really sure. Our lunch is delicious and we share a couple of bottles of wine and at no stage during the day does Cam mention my escapades of the night before, we discuss countries we have visited, countries we would like to visit. I learn that both his parents are dead, he lost his Dad when he was eighteen and his Mum when he was twenty five; this reminds me of what I’ve been told about his wife and child but he doesn’t mention them and I don’t pry. He’s eloquent and articulate but with a cockney accent, he’s well-travelled and seems to be well educated. He’s sexy, so fucking handsome and I enjoy every minute of his company and all of this terrifies me. The thought that finally, I might be able to move on with my life has my heart galloping like a race horse; I’m not saying that I’m falling in love with Cam, or anything remotely like that, but finally, I’ve found someone who has stirred an interest, someone I want to spend time with. He sets my skin on fire with just his words and I almost combust at his touch, finally I have met someone I want sex with for all the right reasons but I know I have to be very sure of this fact. I’ve spent the last six months being a serial user and abuser of men, I’ve slept with them for all the wrong reasons and with Cam, when it happens, I want to make sure that it’s for all the right ones.

  I have no idea where Benny waits while we enjoy our lunch but the second Cam goes to use the gents he’s at my side. “We need to get him out of here as soon as possible, get your coat on and be ready to leave the minute he gets back out.”

  I frown as I look at him and my heart rate picks up when I notice the beads of sweat on his top lip. “Why, what’s wrong Ben?”

  “Just do it please Georgia, there’s a crowd just walked in here, that we really don’t want him bumping into, believe me.” He walks back out to the bar at the front of the pub, sits on a stool and turns to look at me, he gestures behind me with his chin and I assume that Cam is heading back; I stand and start to put on my jacket.

  “You in hurry to get back and wash all those dirty knickers of yours Georgia? I was gonna suggest having a drink at the bar before we leave,” he speaks into my neck and the sensation of his breath on me makes me shudder; I remain facing away from him, I’m a shit liar and I don’t want him guessing that’s exactly what I’m doing when I reply.

  “I’m absolutely stuffed Cam, I couldn’t eat or drink another thing but thank you, the food was amazing, you really should think about poaching the chef for Kings.” He turns me around to look at him, he has a frown on his face, which causes a little curve on his forehead, just above his eyebrows, almost like a smiley mouth, I want to reach out and touch it but something in his eyes tells me that he’s not impressed with my last comment.

  “What the fuck is wrong with Gino, my chef? He has the reputation of being the best in the southeast, it was the menu I came here to try, not the standard of the cooking.”

  Jesus, competitive much?

  “It was a joke Cam, ‘poaching’ the chef… Geddit?” He closes his eyes for a second, gives his customary headshake and lets out a long sigh.

  “That’s a terrible joke Georgia.”

  “No it’s not, it’s fucking hilarious, you’re just too old to get my humour.” Shit, the wines kicked in and my brain is no longer communicating with my mouth.

  “Are you trying to really piss me off now Kitten? Coz I tell you what, its working.” He kisses me, a little too hard on the mouth, grabs my hand and leads me out to the bar where Benny is waiting.

  As we reach Benny, he stands and sort of walks sideways, as if he’s shepherding us toward the door, he steps in front of Cam and holds the door open for us, I just start to step outside when I hear someone call out. “Oi King, there’s no need to leave on our account, stay and have a beer, we owe you at least that mate.”

  His hand instantly squeezes mine so hard it’s painful and he stops dead in his tracks.

  “Cam, leave it,” I hear Benny growl, I turn and look at Cam, there is a nerve twitching in his jaw, he’s look
ing down at me but he’s not seeing me, he’s looking straight through me and I suddenly feel scared and I just know that we need to get out of there.

  “Cam, let’s go Tiger, you can come and help me wash my knickers.” He doesn’t flinch. From the other side of the bar I watch as an older man approaches, he’s in his fifties maybe, grey hair, pushed right back off his face, which is craggy, with a huge scar running down the right side of it, he’s wearing an expensive suit which somehow doesn’t match his face or the earring in his ear, he has a cigar in his mouth but is still managing a sneer on his lip.

  “Get her in the car,” he says between gritted teeth.

  “Cam, please…” I start to say.

  “Do as you’re fucking told and get in the car Kitten, else I swear to God I will drag you out there.”

  “Cam, Robbie and Josh are on their way, let’s just go, we can deal with this when we’ve got the numbers but not like this, not on your own.” He doesn’t move his head, just his eyes shift to Ben’s.

  “Get her, the fuck out of here.” I know I’m not going to win; the grey haired man slaps Cam on the back.

  “Cam, what you doing in this neck of the woods? Not your usual stomping ground.”

  “Get your fuckin’ hands off me Terry.”

  “Well that’s fuckin nice, not seen ya in…” He doesn’t get to finish, Cam’s hands are suddenly around his throat, he picks him off of his feet and pushes past me and Ben as he carries him outside to where the Jag is waiting, he keeps hold of the man’s throat but leans him back against the bonnet of the car, he pins him with just one hand as the man uses two to try and prise Cam’s fingers from his throat. I stand and watch in shock as Cam pulls a gun from the back of his jeans and forces it into the man’s mouth.

  I know my mouth is hanging open, I cannot believe what is unfolding in front of me, two other men come flying out of the door of the pub and Benny puts out his arm like a barrier to block their way. “You really don’t want to get yourselves involved boys believe me.”

  My eyes lock with Benny’s; surely he’s going to do something? Surely Cam won’t shoot him? He’s talking into the man’s ear, his teeth are still gritted and he has froth at the corner of his mouth. He suddenly pulls the gun from his mouth, lifts him once again by his throat and throws him onto the concrete of the car park, then shoots him twice, once in each knee.

  I’m frozen to the spot. Benny unlocks the car, Cam guides me into the back seat and we roar off at speed. I suddenly realise that I’m going to be sick. “Stop the car, stop the car Ben.”

  “Keep driving Ben, she ain’t getting out.”

  “I’m gonna… ” Too late, my lunch comes up all over the leather seat and all over the floor.

  “Shit!” I hear Benny say.

  “Keep driving Ben, we’ll deal with it when we’re back on our manor, I’m not stopping here.”

  I back myself into the furthest corner of the car, away from my own spew and away from him. What the fuck did I just witness back there and how does he think he’s going to get away with shooting someone in broad daylight? He’s fucking mad and he’s just involved me in a crime. Is this what my Dad does? Is this what being an entrepreneur involves? No wonder Bailey and my Mum said he was dangerous if this is his usual behaviour and what if they get to hear of this, what if my Dad and Bailey find out what Cam did and that I was there? My stomach roils again and I can’t hold it down and this time I can’t stop the cry that comes from me either, I’ve just watched someone get shot, fucking shot, right in front of me.

  Cam goes to slide across the seat to get closer to me but I put out my hands. “No, no, don’t touch me, don’t you dare touch me.”

  I’m amazed at how calm I am when I speak, I don’t feel calm, I can barely breathe and I can’t bring myself to look at him. We drive in silence the rest of the way home, Benny pulls around the back of the shop so I can go straight up the stairs to my flat. I don’t wait for him to open the car door; I can’t wait to be out of there, as I run to the stairs that lead to my front door. Ben and Cam are both out of the car, I turn to Benny about to apologise for the mess I’ve made in the car when I see Cam handing the gun over to him, I turn back and shove my hand in my bag looking for my keys, as I pull them out, Cam snatches them from my hand. “Give them back, you’re not coming in.”

  He totally ignores me, unlocks the front door and pulls me inside by my hand; he unlocks the second door and pushes me into my living room. I launch myself at him. “Get out, get out of my fuckin’ house. How dare you involve me in that!”

  I scream and scratch and kick at him; he grabs my arms and pins them to my sides and drags me through to my bedroom, throws me on the bed and lays on top of me, my arms still pinned to my sides. He looks straight into my eyes. “You can scratch and snarl all you like Kitten but I’m not letting you go and I’m not leaving here until we talk, or at least I talk and you listen.”

  He looks down at me, his eyes dart all over my face and I watch his Adams apple move as he swallows hard, I feel calmer now but he shot someone, I just can’t get my head around it and by the way he did it so casually, he’s obviously done it before. Fuck he was carrying a gun; does he always carry a gun, why?

  “I’m so sorry you had to witness that today, I should’ve walked away, I should’ve taken your safety into consideration, and I should never have put you in danger like that. It was possibly the most stupid thing I’ve ever done in my life but when you’re calm and when you’re ready to listen, I want to tell you, I want to explain the reasons I reacted the way that I did but I am sorry, nonetheless.” He rests his fore head on mine. “Please don’t be scared of me Kitten, I’d fuckin hate that.”

  I’m actually not scared of him, I never thought for a second at any time today that he would hurt me, I never even thought about the fact that I might be in danger at all. We lay in silence for a while, I can feel his heart beating against my chest and it comforts me, I love that he’s that close, I would have been a mess if he’d left me on my own this afternoon. Does that make me a bad person? Is it wrong to want to be in this man’s company after what I witnessed him do this afternoon?

  “If I let go of your arms, are you gonna scratch my eyes out Kitten?”

  “No… but if you don’t let go and get off me I might just piss everywhere, I seriously need to whaz.”

  “Georgia! That is so unladylike.”

  “Oh sorry Tiger, I didn’t realise that sticking a gun in a bloke’s mouth and then kneecapping him with two bullets in a pub car park was so fuckin’ gentlemanly.”

  “You have such a smart fuckin’ mouth Kitten; it’ll get you into trouble one of these days.” Before I get a chance to reply, he grinds himself into me. “Especially with me, because for some reason, that mouth of yours makes me so fuckin’ hard.”

  I don’t know why I do it but I kiss him, very gently on the left corner of his mouth, his eyes flutter closed and then open, locking onto mine. “Kitten,” he whispers and it sounds so fucking sexy that without hesitation. I grind my hips into him, then kiss the right side of his mouth, then right in the middle where I know his perfect cupids bow is hiding underneath the dark stubble that’s covering his top lip and jaw, he didn’t shave this morning and that two days’ worth of growth looks just about perfect, so perfect that I want to run my tongue over it.

  Very gently, he kisses me back, his tongue runs along the seam of my joined lips, gently at first, then with a little more force, encouraging me to open and allow him access to my mouth and when I do, oh God, I spend the next five minutes being kissed like I’ve never been kissed before. He lets go of my arms and my hands instantly go to his hair, I wrap my legs around his hips and he grinds hard against me, his hands run up and down the sides of my body, from my arm pits, down to my hips and around to my arse cheeks, lifting them, forcing me into him harder. “Georgia, if you’re gonna tell me to stop, then tell me now because I won’t be able to in a few more seconds.”

  “I don’t want yo
u to stop,” I pant. I don’t, do I? Am I really going to do this? Well shit! “Cam?”

  “Yes Kitten?”

  “I really need a wee.”

  He laughs quietly and rests his forehead back on mine, then rolls off me. “Go, have a wee but don’t be surprised if there’s nothing but a big pile of spunk here when you get back, because I will fuckin’ explode in a minute, I swear.”

  “Eww, Cam, that’s gross.” He lies beside me on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

  “Go to the toilet Georgia and hurry up, I need to be inside you.”

  Fucking hell.

  I climb off the bed and head into the en suite and go to the toilet, then I have a quick freshen up and clean my teeth, God knows how bad my breath must be after throwing up like I did, then I decide that as I know I’m wearing nice undies… I’m my mother’s daughter after all... that I will go back to the bedroom without my clothes on. I look at myself in the mirror, my cheeks are flushed and I look the healthiest I have since my little meltdown last Sunday. Fuck, that’s all I seem to have had this week, meltdown after meltdown. I tip my head upside down, my hair is due for a perm, but I was trying to leave it until as close to the wedding as possible so it’s more wavy than curly right now and because the curls are lose, it hangs further down my back and over my boobs, I position it to hide them and head out to the bedroom wearing just my bra and knickers.

  He’s turned one of the bedside lamps on and drawn the curtains, it must be late afternoon by now and it’s just starting to get dark, he’s taken off all of his clothes except his boxers and is lying back on my bed, leaning on his elbows. I could probably stand right here and with a few rubs in the right spot, make myself come just by looking at him, he is just so big and manly and sexy and bloody hell, just, my brain can’t think of a word, it can’t think of anything, not even how to put one foot in front of the other as it would seem I’ve now come to a complete standstill.

  “Come here.” He beckons with his finger. Left, right, left, right I think in my head. I head toward where his long frame is spread out on my bed and I straddle him, I sit up on my knees as he sits up to meet me; he licks from the middle of my cleavage, up my chest, throat, under my chin and then plunges his tongue into my mouth. He unclasps my bra at the back and I let it slide down my arms, he pulls it off and tosses it on the floor, I watch him as he takes each of my breasts into his hands and sucks on first one nipple and then the other. I throw my head back and allow a moan to escape. He holds me under my armpits as he rubs my nipples with his thumbs “You are so fuckin’ beautiful kitten, you have the most beautiful skin, I want to lick every part of your body.”