by elda lore
“Thank you,” I offered hesitantly. I wasn’t sure what they were, but I was pleased all the same to receive a present.
“They’re stars,” she explained, clearly believing she was stating the obvious. “It’s origami. I folded the stars and strung them together.” She unscrewed the lid and pulled one from the container, a string of the five-pointed item spilling over the lid and tumbling across my lap. The five-point item was made of paper. She pulled a second one from the jar and a string of stars followed, spilling over the lid and tumbling across my lap.
“…cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night,” she quoted Shakespeare quietly, almost as if afraid to say the words louder. The final line hung in the air. Could she love night? Love the dark? Love me? My breath held. She smiled sheepishly, avoiding my eyes. To break the tender tension, I asked: “You made this for me?”
“I thought they might brighten your life.” She fell silent and I knew she omitted the rest. Brighten my life when she eventually left. I didn’t want the thought to damage the moment. So instead, I took pleasure in knowing she folded stars for me. Her own fingers formed each one with care and thought for me. Leaning forward, I cupped her cheek and tugged her to me. I kissed her softly. We hadn’t had a repeat of what I’d done to her nights ago, but I kissed her often, fighting to keep it modest.
The kiss deepened until she pulled back, her mouth swollen. Fingers reached up to cover her lip, drawing over them momentarily before she presented me with another box. Smaller and flatter than the previous one, I opened it with more hesitation. A leather cord lay inside tissue paper. I lifted it slowly and an abstract item made from twisted black metal dangled from the cord.
“A firefly.” I smiled up at her while my fingers continued to memorize the precious gift by rubbing over it. The metal curled and curved to form tender wings. A strip of gold balled at the base and mimicked the lighting of a firefly.
“To remember me.” Her eyes flitted to my fingers. My voice softened when I spoke next.
“I don’t think I could ever forget you.
Tis in my memory lock’d,
And you yourself shall keep the key of it.”
Level Six:
Gluttony
[Persephone]
I missed Christmas. While I could see through the two way mirror the decorations of the resort, I had no access to the holiday. It made me miss home. No winter cheer, presents under the tree or mistletoe awaited me. I was alone in a foreign, unreal land. Hades was attentive to me. He wore his firefly pendant with pride and hung the string of origami stars around his room. The fluorescent yellow paper even glowed in the dark, giving off a caste of festivity to his otherwise dark space. But I still felt the uncertainty of the unknown future and felt alone. Very alone.
The Canteen of the underworld was filled to capacity on New Year’s Eve. The set-up included four rows of long banquet tables with benches lining each side. A head table stood at one end of the room, dressed elaborately in black and gold coverings. The tables were richly laden with piles of food. Hams and turkeys, succulent fruits and steaming dishes. One container vibrated against the table and I assumed it was that horrible delicacy of tropical centipede, alive and awaiting to be killed for sport before eaten while still squirming. I shivered at the thought, grateful for my secret treat: pomegranate. The fruit sustained me, to my surprise. No more tingling toes or frozen fingers. No desire for other foods. My only desire was Hades. I hungered for him in an odd way I could not explain. My heart raced when he was near and my stomach fluttered. I’d catch my breath when I caught him looking at me, and my mouth watered in preparation for kisses not received.
That night I wore the dress I admired months ago in Hades’ closet; the silky white one that cut across my breasts and flowed to the floor. Unlike the original toga wrap, this one hugged my body. The material shimmered and slipped delicately across my body, teasing me with its finery. The seductive feel against my skin made my skin prickle with excitement and angst. I wanted Hades in a manner I shouldn’t. My core ached for his lips to relieve the tension continually hovering, trapped within me. My mouth thirsted to be captured and surrender to his. With the lack of holiday spirit, I craved connection to something. To him.
We sat at the main table. I was an oddity amongst them, but few paid any attention to me. The only one who still narrowed her eyes and questioned my existence was the girl I’d learned was named Sirene. Her feelings for Hades were not concealed and she openly admired him, flaunting her curvy body, black attire and wild hair. Dressed in my virginal white dress, the contrast between us was even more apparent. I looked out over the throngs of people stuffing their mouths and choking on drink. The site was almost slovenly, and I turned to the glass window at the side of the room. A party filled the banquet hall on the other side of the mirror partition. There was laughter, dancing and more drink. Decked in party dress and holiday spirit, the celebration prepared for a new year, one where I would turn twenty-two, not return to college, and remain uncertain of my fate.
Melancholy, I turned to Hades. He drank heartily the red wine inside his cup.
“Ladies and gentlemen.” His father’s crooning tone silenced the clatter of forks and the scraping on plates. “Tonight we celebrate another year.” He raised his glass. “To the prosperity of The Underworld and Hades Emporium.” His eyes shifted to me. “And the future success of our humble haven.” The crowd teetered and snorted, before clanking cups and clanging glasses. Many drank, as did Hades the son. Decked out in his own black suit, black shirt and silk tie, he was picturesque in a horrifically beautiful way. His iridescent skin darkened under the heat of the heavily filled room, but it could have been the drink he consumed.
I eventually excused myself and wandered to where I thought I could inconspicuously admire the party goers on the other side of the glass.
“They can’t see you.” Hades’ voice slurred behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to find one hand of his propped against the window. His typically blue eyes were almost black, and glassy, as he stared through the mirror. I didn’t argue with him. I knew no one could hear me, see me, feel my presence.
Hades raised his other hand and I noticed another glass, full of wine.
“Don’t you think you‘ve had enough?” I snipped. My irritation at being separated from humans and their celebration bubbled to the surface. His eyes met mine over the rim of his glass.
“I haven’t had nearly enough,” he slurred into the cup. The innuendo was clear, but it was his own fault if he was not full on me. He hadn’t touched me again since a week before his birthday. The tension pierced me deep. Each night he’d hold me like he’d never let me go, not even in his dreams, but he took it no further. Releasing my eyes and removing the cup from his lips, he looked into the crowd on the other side. People danced and visibly laughed. It appeared jovial, compared to the creatures behind me who gluttonously ate and drank. His hand slipped from the glass and his forehead rested against it. He was drunk.
Rolling his head back and forth, he closed his eyes as if tormented. As if the sight of humans enjoying themselves ate at him.
“Give me that.” I snatched the glass from his hand, determined I would not waste my night. If I passed into another year as a prisoner, I would do it in style. I would drink myself into oblivion as well. The cup was almost to my lips when Hades forcibly knocked it away. The heavy vessel didn’t shatter, but clattered to the floor, startling those closest to us. No one moved to retrieve it, and red wine slithered across the stone.
“Are you crazy?” he snapped at me and my eyes opened wide. Startled by his tone and the near miss of striking me, I blinked rapidly. Anger swept in slowly.
“Yes. Yes, I think I’ve gone mad. I’m living in a mysterious underworld attached to a resort where unbeknownst to that half…,” I pointed through the glass, “…this half exists. And I stand here thinking c
razy thoughts about a man I can never have. Having feelings I shouldn’t feel, and being tempted to give in, to eat the food, drink the drink, and stay here forever so I don’t lose him.”
I paused, sucking in a breath, knowing I’d said too much and praying his drunkenness would overrule my confession. I’d fallen for Hades, and guilt ate at me. The internal conflict so real. Should I stay or should I go? Mama had made a claim for me, Edwin told me. Hades Sr. teetered on the cusp of accepting it. Nothing could keep me here, except for Hades.
Grabbing my hand, he nearly yanked my arm out of the socket as he dragged me from the room. I lifted the skirt of my dress as I stumbled in my heels to follow Hades’ hasty exit. We neared the bank of elevators and he paused to press the buttons. When the lift didn’t appear fast enough, he turned and picked me up. Sweeping me off my feet, literally, he pressed through a door and took the stairs upward. He climbed effortlessly, carrying me all the way to the top. He used his back to open another door and we were assaulted by cold wind and fresh air. I took a deep breath. Setting me on the rooftop, I stood in the freezing freshness, surprised by the fragrance of coming snow and the lingering dark night. The presence of clean oxygen surrounded me, causing me to breath deep a second time.
“Oh my God,” I muttered, drinking in the refreshing coolness and the twinkling stars. It was perfect. A cloudless winter night. I shivered.
“Here,” Hades offered, slipping his suit jacket over my shoulders. The fabric felt silky smooth and cool inside the long sleeves, but I welcomed the warm and woodsy scent of him covering me. I buried my nose in the lapel, drawing in his cedar smell mixed with the night breeze. A huge moon beamed in the sky, spotlighting the rooftop. Moonbeams streamed filtered light across the empty fields, glistening like a vast ocean.
“It’s so beautiful,” I whispered, as if I would disturb the peace from thousands of feet above the ground.
“You are beautiful,” Hades said, and I realized he’d been watching me admire the moon. “It’s almost midnight. Dance with me.” His hand came out for mine and I stepped into the fold of his arm. Wrapping around me, he pulled our joined hands between us. I tucked my head against his chest, forgetting his surprising reaction to my almost-drink and trying to forget the words I confessed.
“Did you mean it?” His voice was clear, no more slurs. “Are you afraid to lose me?” My words had not escaped him.
I nodded against his chest. “Yes.” His arm tightened around me.
“I’m afraid I’ll lose you.” He kissed the top of my head, and placed his cheek on it as he swayed side to side, and spun me. We stayed like that for several minutes, soaking in the freedom of where we stood and the beauty of the cool night. I closed my eyes and imagined we were any two people, sharing a dance on a starry night. Romantic and unreal, the fantasy filled me and I made a wish upon a star for love in the new year.
Midnight
[Hades]
We danced around the rooftop and I held her to me, afraid she’d disappear. Afraid she would slip right out of my hands and skitter away with the fresh winter air. The fear became more real with each dawning of a new day. She would leave, if my father made the deal. My inner turmoil between keeping her close and setting her free warred within me. There was nothing for her here. This was not life. This was death, and I didn’t want her to die. Not yet.
The rooftop breeze lingered cold around us. Some nights the wind blew swift enough to knock a body over, but tonight the air danced with us. The moonlight spotlight and the twinkling heavens magically enhanced the moment. I wanted time to stop. The only way to prevent time from moving forward was to stop my heart, which I’d do for her. I’d suspend time if I could remain wrapped around her, holding her against my heart, and willing her to love me.
The secret songs in our head lulled and we no longer swayed, but stalled to stand and embrace one another. Her head rested against my chest, and beneath the thin layer of my shirt ticked the clock, clicking to the end of another day, another year. thirty-one days, so when the minutes passed to midnight, the hour hand would spin ahead to begin the first day of a new year. Pain rippled through me momentarily, pinching my chest as the second hand skipped forward from thirty-one to one again. Metaphorically, keeping Persephone would do the same thing. Keeping her prisoner would skip her ahead, and she was so young. She would bypass the second and third portions of her life. She would not grow old, fall in love, get married, or have children. It didn’t seem fair. While I selfishly wished for her to stay, I also wanted her to experience those things. I’d heard from many who came to the underworld that love, marriage, and children were a divine experience. With all the knowledge I’d obtained through study, love was something I could not comprehend. Until Persephone.
Emotion wasn’t something I fully understood until she came into my existence. I knew ignorance from my mother, and tolerance from my father, but true emotion —love— I hadn’t felt until I met her. Love was the only term I could use to describe the sensation in my heart, my head, my arms, my lips. I had experience with ever other sentiment, positive or negative. Love was the one I had been missing. It was the uncanny sense that I would do anything for her. I would give her whatever she wished. I would take care of her desires. I would sacrifice for her will. I would give her the freedom she craved. After all, I once heard loving sometimes involved letting go.
“Kiss me into the new year.” Her voice pleaded with me, and I couldn’t deny her this simple request. Slowly, her head leaned back and she looked up at me with those bark-colored eyes. So innocent, and yet I wished to corrupt her. She tipped on her toes, and my mouth met hers in eager response. I kissed her with my mouth closed, afraid to draw in her air and take her life. I’d done too much, gone too far almost two weeks ago. I nipped tenderly at her bottom lip and tugged them both toward me.
I was easily drawn to her, but I restrained myself. I wanted to kiss her; I wanted so much more, but I held back from fully tasting her. Overeager when I returned from that stupid separation, the forty-eight hour absence tortured me. Parting from her for a lifetime was unimaginable. It would break me.
She opened my lips with a slip of her tongue and breathed into me. She gave me life, when I could only give her death and darkness. Her potential death frightened me, but I also feared the life she sparked inside me. Feelings, emotions, sentiments unknown. My skin prickled with need and my heart clenched powerfully with desire. It hammered under my skin, forcing a strain on the tattoo, begging to speed up time and keep her permanently. The overwhelming thrill to live, and live righteously, to please her, and let her sunlight shine over me. My Firefly in the dark. My Juliet.
We kissed as I moved her toward the door. Her back thud against the wall beside it. Shuddering, I rubbed up and down her arms.
“It’s too cold up here for you,” I whispered before my lips returned to hers. Our breath mingled and I pressed her into the cement brick behind her.
“Why did you bring me here?” The warmth of her mouth brushed against mine.
“I wanted to gift you the stars tonight. I’d give you the sun and the moon, as well, if I could.” And I could actually. Both Solis and Luna were my cousins, but I didn’t want either to take her from me. “We should go inside,” I suggested when she shuddered again.
“I’m warm enough with you,” she muttered against my lips. I spun us and exited the roof. We hardly made it two stairs and I turned to kiss her again, our height even as she stood one step higher than me. After I dragged her mouth to mine, I pulled back and slowly grinned.
“We aren’t going to make it back to the room, if you keep looking at me like that,” she teased, brushing her hands through my hair. “Besides, you’ve had too much to drink tonight.”
I sobered at the thought. “I’m only drunk on you, Firefly.” Her mouth covered mine and tongues tangled together. My hands clamped her hips, gently tugging her against me.
“Don’t you have special powers or something to get us to your room faster?”<
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“What, do you think Time flies?” I chuckled and her pinched eyes glittered playfully.
“Did you just make a joke?”
“Did I?” I took her lips with mine before she could answer. Her arms circled my neck and she dragged her body against me. My arms wrapped around her back and one of her legs curled over my hip.
“What are you doing to me, Juliet?” I moaned out between kisses.
“Claiming you,” she whispered, and the words flowed into me. They flew down my throat and filled my bloodstream, then swam to my heart. Hooking my hands under her behind, I hitched her upward and she wrapped her legs around me. I finished descending the staircase and entered the hall. We paused to continue our languid lip lock against another wall, and then nearly fell into the elevator. The box filled with the tender sound of my mouth trailing her jaw and neck followed by deep sighs and a whimpering cry as I reached the edge of her dress.
We both jumped when the doors opened to my floor and I picked her up once more, wrapping her legs over my hips. Her hands cupped my face and her lips savored mine with slow pecks and petite sucks. I stumbled in effort to speed my walking but not break the connection. Once in my room, I set her on the edge of my bed, tenderly forcing her arms to release my neck.
“Climb back and lay down,” I commanded softly. She slipped out of my jacket and did as I asked. Her blonde hair fanned outward across the pillows. The white skirt tangled with one leg but flared away from the other. Before me lay the perfect image of a firefly, lighting up my dark room. I took a moment to savor the sight. Raising my fingers, I formed a box and pretended to snap a picture.
For my memory, I told myself.
“So beautiful,” I said aloud.