“I remember. The shy, soft-spoken girl with the dark ringlets in her hair.”
Kate smiled at his description; that was Molly. “Since she was often with me, her social circle connections expanded, and she met a boy. They kept up correspondence throughout the school year. She was so happy. During our last quarter, she said the boy had asked her to marry him.”
Kate paused for a second, watching Ethan. He had not interrupted her; he had kept his promise to let her explain.
“After school ended, I continued to write to Molly. I assumed I would eventually hear about the engagement. About two months later, I got an urgent letter from her, asking me to come to her home.”
“She did not tell you what it was about?”
“No. She was my friend, and she knew I would go to her if she needed me. When I went to her house, she told me the name of her suitor.” Kate stared into Ethan’s eyes.
“Nathan Montgomery,” Ethan declared.
“Yes. He was an acquaintance of ours, and he had been to some of the parties we had attended. Somehow, shy Molly had caught his eye. But if you remember, Nathan also had a mild temperament. He never had a harsh word for anyone.”
“I remember.”
“It seems Nathan had asked his father’s permission to marry Molly, but due to her meager finances, she was not a suitable match for a future Earl. Nathan’s father threatened that if he married Molly, he would cut him off, and the title would go to his cousin. Molly was distraught after she had heard the news; that was when she wrote to me.”
“But what could you do? You couldn’t persuade Nathan’s father to change his mind.”
“No, I couldn’t, but Molly needed someone to confide in. It seems the two had already consummated their love, and she believed she was with child. She was not certain, but she could not ask the family physician to check since her parents would find out. She asked me to go with her to another doctor to see if it was true.”
“And it was?”
Kate frowned. “Yes. Molly was scared and happy at the same time. She loved Nathan so much, but there was no way they could be together. I left Molly and promised to check in on her periodically.”
“Did Nathan know?”
“About a week later, I was at a party when Nathan approached me. He said Molly had told him about the baby and that she had confided in me. The poor man had nobody to talk to, so I was the shoulder Nathan leaned on. He told me his father was livid that he would even consider marrying Molly. The old Earl wanted him to marry a wealthy girl with a large dowry since the estate had fallen on some hard times.”
Ethan was restless and stood up. “The way I remember it, Lord Leeds had gambled away a substantial amount of money. I see why he wanted Nathan to marry someone with money.”
“Nathan was forbidden to marry Molly. So, the next few weeks passed with no new developments. That was when Nathan and I started spending more time together.”
“He just wanted a friend,” Ethan said matter-of-factly. “If that’s all it was, why didn’t you tell me?”
“I could not betray their trust.”
“You did not have to tell me what their secrets were, simply that you and Nathan were not a couple.”
“You were too busy carousing around with your friends if you recall. I hardly saw you during that time. You and the others were more worried about gambling and frivolities than anything else. We had grown apart because of your self-absorption. So no, I did not feel the need to tell you.”
Kate’s words were sharp and rang with truth. When Ethan had left for university, and she had gone to boarding school, their lives had diverged. She would come home from school and hear stories about Ethan and his friends; how they were caught carriage racing down the streets of London or drinking until all hours. The boy she had fallen in love with had disappeared.
“At the time, you were not around, and any youthful promises we may have said did not appear to have been important to you. As far as I was concerned, you did not care for me anymore; therefore, I had no loyalty to you.”
Ethan flinched and took a step back as if she had punched him with the strength of her words alone. After a moment, he spoke. “You are right. I did not care, at least not enough to let you know how much I loved you. I was a fool back then, blinded by my own youthful ignorance and selfishness. I can never get back the time we lost, and it’s all my fault. For that, I am sorry, Kate.”
The fault did not lie completely with Ethan. Kate had also played a role when she decided not to try to salvage their relationship. But there was nothing either of them could do about the past. What mattered now was moving forward. They cared for one another, and this time Kate would fight for a life with Ethan.
“Will you tell me the rest of the story?” His rich baritone brought Kate back to the present.
“After a few weeks, Nathan decided to take Molly to France to have the baby. Molly asked me to go with her, and I agreed. Nathan joined us a little while later, so as not to raise any suspicion.”
“I remember when you told me you were leaving with Molly.”
“She had the baby, but Molly was weak from the delivery. Every day she grew weaker until it was clear, she would not recover. Her only concern was for the child and what would happen to him. I promised her I would look after him.”
Ethan stopped pacing and faced Kate. “What did that mean?”
Kate rose and walked to the window, thinking how best to answer. She dreaded what was to come. Ethan would be angry no matter what she said, but she had to make him understand why she had come to her decision.
“Ethan, you have to realize, what I did was after much consideration; I did not make my decision lightly.”
He waited for her to continue.
“Molly knew she would not live much longer, and, with all her heart, she wanted the child to have Nathan’s name and everything that was rightfully his. I was a lady of breeding and wealth, an acceptable match for any man. They asked me if I would marry Nathan before we returned and pass the child off as my own. It would appear as if Nathan and I had left to marry and have the child.”
“A farce of a marriage, how convenient for everyone but you.”
Ethan’s response cut her to the quick. She could only guess what he thought about her. Kate had almost confessed her love to Ethan before she had left with Molly but had decided she did not want to risk being rejected. Knowing he had indulged in the finer tastes of London, including the women, she thought Ethan would no longer care for the country girl he had professed to love in youthful ignorance. It was no doubt a shock when she had returned with a husband and a child. The betrayal must have hurt like nothing she could imagine.
“I didn’t agree right away.” Kate stepped toward Ethan. “I pondered the situation for two days, and all I kept thinking about was the child, Robbie. He had no say in his birth, but his parents had conceived him in love. The title was his; he was Nathan’s blood.”
Ethan flexed his fingers over and over. “So, you threw everything we had aside.” He swept his arms wide. “Everything we had meant nothing to you.”
“No, I loved you. But I thought it was childish love and that perhaps, we were naïve in thinking it would last. I assumed, once you found out about Nathan and me, you would move on and find someone else.”
“It does not work that way, Kate. How could I give my heart away when you already had it?”
The statement made Kate’s heart swell with joy. She felt the same about Ethan. “I do not regret what I did. I love Robbie, and his inheritance is secure. If I had the choice, I would do it again.”
Ethan sighed, and the tension eased out of his shoulders. She did not begrudge him for being upset. The clock chimed the hour; it was late, and Kate wanted to retire for the night. Her skirts shifted as she turned to leave. Ethan’s voice halted her.
“Do you know how angry and betrayed I felt when I heard the news? It felt like you had thrust a knife into my heart. I was in a drunken stupor for weeks.
”
“I’m so sorry, Ethan. I never meant to hurt you.”
“Hugh and Phillip were there to bring me back from the brink. They took me away to the continent, then I started to work for Sir Darnley. It helped me forget about you and the hurt you had caused me.”
Kate imagined Ethan galloping around the continent, taking out his frustrations on his enemies, much like she threw herself into being a mother to Robbie. She had no love for Nathan, but she lived for Robbie.
Ethan continued, “The pain dulled, but it never completely went away. Through it all, there was one constant, my love for you.”
Kate could not stop a tear from spilling down her cheek.
“I’ve loved no one else, Kate. Even though you gave yourself to another, I still want you.”
Kate’s pulse fluttered, and she had to catch her breath. “It’s true I gave my love to Robbie, but never to Nathan.”
Ethan shook his head, not sure what to say.
“Nathan and I lived more as brother and sister than as man and wife. He tried to kiss me once, but we both knew there was nothing romantic between us. My heart and my body are still my own to give to whomever I choose.”
Chapter 18
Ethan could hardly believe his ears. “Do you mean to say…”
Kate interrupted, “I never gave my body, or my heart, to Nathan. They have always belonged to you.”
What could he say? Kate was his and always had been. He closed the distance between them. The midnight blue of Kate’s eyes reflected a flood of sentiments.
“Does anyone else know of this?”
“Only Nana; she is Molly’s mother. Nathan and I told her the truth when we returned. We brought her to the house as Robbie’s nurse.”
“How did you explain Molly’s death to others?”
“We didn’t. We told everyone she had met a rich Frenchman while we were abroad, and she had married him.”
“Does Nathan’s cousin know?”
Kate shook her head. “There is no way anyone knows. Robbie’s birth certificate was changed to show me as his mother. Besides, Arthur did not start terrorizing us until after Nathan’s death. I believe he thinks he can scare a woman and a young boy into giving him what he wants.”
Ethan placed his hand on Kate’s cheek. She leaned into his touch, needing his support. He cradled her cheek as he spoke, “I told you before, I would not let harm come to the two of you. We have doubled the guards, and when we return tomorrow morning, we will see if there are any recent developments.” Ethan swept Kate into his arms as desire consumed him. “As for tonight, I want to be with you, Kate, if you will have me.” His voice lowered, thick with lust.
It seemed an eternity before he heard her breathless answer. “Yes.”
With that single word, he captured her lips in a kiss of possession and promise. Kate wrapped her arms around Ethan’s neck. His groin ached in anticipation. “I want you for always, my love. I will not be foolish enough to let you go again.”
Kate still in his arms, then her features softened, and her lips trembled. “What about Robbie?” Her voice held hope.
“We will raise him together and prepare him to take his title when he is older. We can have children of our own if you like. Whatever you want, as long as we are together. I love you, Kate. For now and always, you have my heart.”
Ethan knew he could not bear to part from her, not after tasting and holding her again. She was the only woman he had ever loved, and he would not waste any more time. “Kate, will you marry me?”
She was speechless, but her answer was clear by the look in her eyes and the smile on her face. “You are the only man I have ever loved, so yes, Ethan, I will marry you.”
He yelped with delight, lifted Kate into his arms, and swung her around. Their cries of happiness mingled together, two halves of a whole at last together.
After Ethan put Kate down, he kissed her again. His heart burst with happiness. Now, all he had to do was take care of this nasty business with Arthur, then they could start their lives together.
Ethan was lost in thought when Kate asked, “Shall we go upstairs to celebrate?”
He cocked his eyebrow as Kate ran her hands seductively up and down his chest. “I want you to make love to me tonight, Ethan. We are here, alone, and I want to feel your touch everywhere.”
No further coaxing was necessary. The next second, he swept Kate into his arms and headed for the staircase. Once they crossed the threshold of Kate’s room, Ethan slammed the door shut. He put Kate down with her back to the door, then reached around and turned the key, the click of the lock ensuring no one would intrude. Nothing and no one would interrupt them tonight. Ethan had waited years for this moment, and he would not be disturbed. He would show Kate how much he loved her.
His ravenous gaze raked over Kate, and his fingers itched to caress her naked body. She drove him mad with desire as she swept her tongue across her lips. The fire of passion had been lit, and it burned through Ethan’s body. Now to ignite Kate. With her body against the door and his cock pressed against her warm body, Ethan took her mouth again. Nothing lay between them now, except for their clothes. They had laid their souls bare and were free to love one another at last.
Kate moaned as Ethan trailed a path down her throat to her exposed chest. His lips followed the hem of her neckline until it ended at her cleavage. He came back up the other side and sealed her lips with his. Raw need clawed at him. The more he tasted, the more he hungered for more. His tongue came out to tease the edges of Kate’s lips, and she opened to him on a sigh of pleasure. Ethan’s tongue slid inside, wanting to consume her mouth.
Kate ran her fingers over Ethan’s back, up to his arms, and through his hair. Each touch shot an electric current of lust coursing through his body. He placed her hands over her head in a single grip, then brought his other hand down to cup her breast. Without hesitation, Kate leaned into his touch. Ethan squeezed the luscious orb, which brought another moan of delight from her lips. Even with her hands still in Ethan’s hold, Kate writhed under his embrace. Her body rocked into his. When the junction at her legs pressed into his groin, it was all Ethan could do not to climax.
Next, his mouth traveled over to Kate’s ear, where he nipped her earlobe, then quickly sucked it to soothe the pinch. His cock grew rock hard from the foreplay, and there would be more before he sank himself into her wet core.
He whispered into Kate’s ear, “I have imagined this moment for years, and I intend to make it worth the wait.”
With that promise, he brought Kate’s arms down and led her to the bed. He turned her around and undid the fastenings on her gown. With the dress discarded, he moved on to the crinoline underskirt. The fastener caused Ethan a few seconds of agitation before he could undo it. He cursed, and Kate giggled.
“I do not understand why you women must put yourselves into these contraptions; it’s damn impossible to remove.”
“Shall I call for my maid?”
“Good God, no! I have to learn anyway since I plan on doing this every night if I can.” Ethan kissed her shoulder, and Kate shuddered.
The underskirt and corset, at last, joined the dress on the floor. Kate stood before him in only her chemise and stockings. Her hair sat piled on her head, but he wanted it cascading down her shoulders. Ethan’s nerves were on the brink. He was not sure his hands would be steady enough to undo her hairpins. Based on his performance with the clothes, he did not know if he could make it much farther.
“Take down your hair,” Ethan rasped.
Kate turned toward him. Without a word, she took out her hairpins until the red waves drifted down her back and around her shoulders. A fresh wave of desire hit him in the gut. Ethan took another taste of her hot mouth, his tongue plunged in, once again, staking his claim. He could not get enough, he never would. After a few more sweeps of his tongue, he felt Kate pull back.
She rubbed her fingers across his lips. “Do you want me to help you undress?” A devilish gri
n crossed her face.
Ethan’s cock reacted, eager to be free of the confines of his clothes. He nodded in approval. Kate placed her hands on his chest and pushed his dinner jacket off his shoulders and down his arms. Next, she removed his necktie. Ethan had to stop himself from ripping off the rest of their clothes and diving into Kate’s warm channel. Patience, he told himself. This was the woman of his dreams, and he wanted to make the night special.
The wait was agonizing as Kate unbuttoned his shirt. If he didn’t know any better, he’d swear the woman was torturing him. Unable to hold back any longer, Ethan pulled the fabric free from his trousers and lifted the shirt over his head. Kate’s gaze traveled down to examine the expanse of his muscular chest and abdomen. Ethan knew he was in good shape; he was never one to be lazy. He held his breath as Kate’s hands glided down his chest, following the curves of his body. The closer she went to his groin, the harder it was for him to breathe. When she was just about to touch him, he stilled her hand. Kate’s eyes whipped up to meet his stare. Ethan explained, “I can barely contain myself as it is. If you touch me now, I fear this will be over much too soon, my love.”
Kate removed her hand and stepped back.
Ethan composed himself before the next step in his seduction. “Lay on the bed,” he instructed.
Without hesitation, Kate did as he asked. Ethan noticed the tension in her muscles and realized she might be nervous. He wanted to ease her worries. “I am simply removing your shoes and stockings.”
“Very well.”
Ethan kneeled by the bed and went to work on one shoe, then the other. Now for her stockings. His hands sensually traveled up her right leg until he came to the top of the stocking on her thigh. He caressed her warm skin, and Kate bit down on her lower lip, unable to stifle a groan.
Ethan wrapped his finger under the stocking and drew it down her leg. When he finished with the right stocking, he moved on to the other side. This time, Ethan pushed up her chemise above her knees. He could see her drawers, the last obstacle between him and paradise. The other stocking joined its mate beside the bed.
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