But first I had to get up and get some medical help. Medical help. I felt around inside my jacket and found my cell phone, still intact. I kept a couple of throwaway cells on hand at home since I often lost phones when flying through the air, and I’d just lost one.
I managed to keep it together long enough to call an Agent Medi-Team and give them my location, and then I closed my eyes and went to sleep for a while.
My last thought before I conked out was of Gabriel. Where was he?
I woke to darkness in my own bed, and there was a figure snoozing in a kitchen chair beside me. For a moment my heart leapt, thinking it was Gabriel. Then a shaft of light came through the window and I saw that it was J.B.
I cautiously raised myself from the bed. I still felt sore all over. There was a large patch of gauze taped to my back where I had been cut by the Dumpster. A matching bandage was wrapped around my forehead. My fingers touched my cheek and I moaned in pain. My whole face felt puffy and tender, and the rest of me didn’t feel that great, either.
J.B. shifted in the chair and opened his eyes blearily. “I’m not sure you should be sitting up in your condition. In fact, I’m not sure that you should be breathing in your condition.”
I slumped back against the headboard, exhausted from the effort of sitting up and taking stock of my injuries. “Is it that bad?”
He rubbed his eyes. “You’ve looked better. Like when you’ve come to work without showering and still wearing your house slippers.”
I raised an eyebrow at him. “You are the soul of tact, J.B. No wonder all the women want you. What are you doing here, anyway?”
“Your gratitude is overwhelming, Black. I arrived with the Medi-Team and brought you home when they were done repairing you.”
“This is repaired?” I said.
“Well, they can’t do that magical healing thing that your guard dog can, but they patched you up as best they could. Where is your shadow, anyway?” J.B. asked.
I felt a pang in my chest when I thought of Gabriel. “He’s gone.”
“Gone, how?”
I explained about the body we’d found in the alley, and how Gabriel had disappeared without a trace a few moments before I’d been attacked.
“Do you think his disappearance had something to do with your attack?” J.B. asked.
“I suppose it could,” I said slowly. “But it could also have something to do with the wolves. Or with Antares, for that matter.”
And when I thought about it, Antares seemed a likely suspect. He had a whole host of magical tricks up his sleeve, and disappearing acts were a favorite of his.
“Are you saying that Antares is working with Samiel?” J.B. asked. “Isn’t it enough that you’ve got enemies coming out of every nook and cranny? Do they have to be conspiring against you as well?”
“I didn’t say they were conspiring. Antares may have taken Gabriel as part of some nefarious plot of his own and Samiel just happened to show up a few minutes later.”
“I don’t know,” J.B. said doubtfully. “Coincidence sounds even more unlikely than conspiracy.”
“Well, you figure it out, then. I’m feeling a little worn-out right now.”
“No need to get cranky with me, Black.”
“Oh, gee, why would I feel cranky, Bennett? It wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that I nearly got beaten to death a few hours ago, would it?”
J.B. sobered. “Yes, but why?”
“Why did I get beaten up? Because I killed Samiel’s father, that’s why.”
“No, why did he beat you? Why didn’t he use magic?”
Once J.B. said it, I realized that it was completely bizarre that Samiel had used such a mortal method of exacting vengeance. Ramuell had possessed magical abilities that had been terrifying in their execution, and Ariell had been an angelic being loaded with magic. Why had Samiel used his fists instead of his powers?
“Maybe he’s powerless, like Antares,” I said, although this seemed improbable. Completely powerless beings like my half brother were rare, especially when they came from such a notable magical lineage. Ramuell was Lucifer’s son, after all. It seemed unlikely that Samiel would have no magic.
J.B. shook his head. “It would definitely stretch credibility to think that not only are two of your enemies conspiring against you, but both of them have no magic of their own.”
“I’m not sure you are actually helping here,” I said crossly.
He held his hands up. “I’m just saying.”
“And I’m just saying that you’re not adding anything very much useful to the conversation.”
He looked as if he wanted to say something else, then paused and sighed. The moonlight reflected off the silver frames of his glasses. “No matter how hard I try, we always revert to our old patterns.”
That made me pause as well. “You’re right. I don’t know why we always end up bickering like this.”
“Because you have unfulfilled sexual tension?” said Beezle, flapping into the room and landing on my lap. He put his hands on his hips—or what stood in for hips, anyway. It was hard to tell that he had hips anymore since his belly had started expanding.
“Hmm,” he said, eyeing my face critically. “It looks like you’ll probably regain use of your jaw sometime by Christmas.”
“I’m so glad that everyone is being positive and supportive in my time of need,” I said, glaring at my gargoyle.
“Hey, we aim to please,” Beezle said. “Now, what are we going to do about Gabriel?”
I shifted my hands restlessly on my lap. “I don’t know. I don’t even have a clue where to begin.”
“Well, if you are interested in my two cents . . .”
“Which usually turns into two dollars,” I said.
Beezle pressed his lips together briefly in annoyance and then continued on as if I hadn’t spoken. “I think you should start with the wolves. They were there on the scene and they had the motivation to take him.”
“What motivation would the wolves have? Their alpha had just stated that Maddy was a friend to them and vice versa. If they were truly interested in reestablishing relations with Lucifer, then why would they jeopardize that by taking Gabriel?” J.B. said reasonably.
“That’s assuming the wolves actually do want to treat with Lucifer, which I doubt,” Beezle said darkly. “Wolves generally keep a minimum of contact with the fallen.”
“Why are you always so suspicious of everyone’s motivations?” I said. “Maybe the wolves want to make peace and decided to take advantage of the opportunity.”
“ ‘Take advantage’ is the operative phrase here,” Beezle said. “You have to stop trusting everything you hear or the fallen will eat you alive.”
“And so will the faeries,” J.B. said. “Believe me, there’s nothing my mother loves more than turning naïveté to her advantage.”
I felt myself getting annoyed. Sure, I needed some help with interpersonal relationships, and I was astonishingly sheltered for a woman nearing her thirty-third birthday, but I wasn’t dumb. I didn’t appreciate being treated as such.
“I think I can handle myself,” I said.
They both said nothing but pointedly stared at my face, the very visible site of most of my injuries.
“What, you think that just because Samiel train-wrecked me that I can’t maneuver among the intricacies of the courts?”
Their silence told me everything I needed to know about their opinion. I took a deep breath and told myself it would not be good to kill them.
“Let’s not talk about me,” I said, pinning a bright smile on my face, and then I winced. It hurt to smile, or to do anything more strenuous than talk through my teeth. “Let’s try to figure out what happened to Gabriel.”
“Why don’t you just tell Azazel? He probably has the resources to find him,” J.B. said reasonably.
I shook my head. “He might have the resources to find Gabriel, but when he found him Azazel would kill him.”
; J.B. looked astonished. “For being kidnapped?”
“He failed in his duty to protect me, and his life already hangs by a thread,” I said grimly. “If Azazel finds out that Gabriel is gone, then that thread will be cut. We have to make sure that my father doesn’t know about this.”
I closed my eyes, overwhelmed by the amount of problems that had presented themselves in the last day. First I’d been assigned this crap job in the faerie court and Nathaniel was supposed to accompany me. Then Antares and Samiel showed up with the sole goal of grinding me into small pieces. I’d totally stepped in the middle of some long-standing problem between Lucifer and the wolves, and Gabriel had disappeared. And it was imperative, absolutely imperative, that Azazel not find out about that. I didn’t know if I could live with myself if anything happened to Gabriel because of me.
“How are you going to make sure Azazel doesn’t find out?” Beezle said. “The kidnappers may have contacted him already to ransom Gabriel. And even if they haven’t, Azazel is in almost daily contact with him, checking up on you.”
“How do you know that?” I said.
“I have ears,” Beezle said. “He does live downstairs, you know, and sometimes his windows are open.”
It annoyed me that Azazel was following my life that closely and that Gabriel hadn’t said anything to me about it. But that was to be expected. I’d told myself time and again that Gabriel’s first loyalty was to my father, not to me.
I had to stop thinking of Gabriel as a potential lover—a thing that was likely never going to happen—and instead as a potential enemy. Maybe J.B. and Beezle were right. Maybe I was naïve. I had to let go of these girlish dreams and focus on what was really happening around me.
And right now, Gabriel’s loyalty was not the issue. His life was. I had to find him before I could worry about anything else.
“And what are you going to do when it’s time to go to the faerie court?” J.B. asked. “Wasn’t Gabriel supposed to accompany you? How are you going to find him in two days without Azazel finding out, and in your condition?”
J.B. was right. Even without a clue to go on, I was hampered by my injuries. I needed some angelic healing, and there was only one place that I could get it. But it was risky—extremely risky. If there was anybody’s loyalty in doubt, it was his. But maybe I could make it work. Maybe we could broker a deal that would make both of us happy.
“I think,” I said, breathing deep and hoping that I wasn’t making yet another horrible mistake, “that I need to give my fiancé a call.”
“This is incredibly stupid,” Beezle said the next morning as he primped the pillows around my head on the couch. J.B. had left after breakfast, promising to call later and check up on me. He’d also arranged to find substitutes for all of my pickups for the week, which definitely made my life easier. I had enough things on my plate without worrying about lost souls.
“Your opinion has been duly noted,” I said dryly. “About eight hundred times over.”
“You don’t want Azazel to find out about Gabriel, but you’ve called the one angel who is likely to run straight to him and report? Did Samiel beat all of your brains out of you?”
“I’ve got to find some way to heal or else I’m not going to be able to find Gabriel, or negotiate with the faeries, or anything else,” I said patiently. “Nathaniel is the only angel I can ask.”
“But you can’t trust him,” Beezle said. “He only wants to marry you because you’re Azazel’s daughter. He’s not really a fiancé.”
“Actually, I think it’s more that I’m Lucifer’s granddaughter.” I shook my head. “But maybe I need to start treating him as an actual betrothed.”
Beezle’s mouth dropped open. “Are you telling me that you are giving in to Azazel’s will and accepting the marriage?”
It rankled when Beezle put it like that. “No. I most certainly am not. But maybe if I treat Nathaniel decently, he will do the same.”
Beezle rolled his eyes. “Remember what I was saying earlier about naïveté?”
“I have to try, Beezle,” I said. “And stop fussing with the pillows. I’m fine.”
“Fine,” Beezle said darkly. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
He flapped to the front window without another word and disappeared out to his perch.
I rested my head back against the pillows and closed my eyes. Beezle was wrong. I wasn’t naïve. I knew exactly the risk that I took in asking for Nathaniel’s help. I also knew that I would never find Gabriel in this condition, and that I couldn’t afford to wait weeks to heal.
I must have fallen asleep for a while. When I opened my eyes, Nathaniel was kneeling beside me, his hand holding mine. There was an expression on his face that I couldn’t define. I realized that my blood was burning hot, and I touched my face. The swelling was gone, the pain disappeared. He had healed me while I slept.
I rubbed my eyes and sat up, feeling remarkably hale and whole. My tongue touched the place where my teeth had been loosened by Samiel’s punches and found them solidly implanted in the gum. Thank goodness. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life looking like a hockey player or a hillbilly.
“Thank you,” I said, and I said it without begrudging Nathaniel his existence, the way that I usually did. I didn’t know how I would have survived for this long in the angelic world without healing. The injuries that I had incurred from Ramuell alone would have killed me or crippled me for life if it had not been for Gabriel’s abilities.
“Such a fragile thing,” Nathaniel said softly, and it was like he could hear my thoughts. “That little strain of mortality. Small things hurt you so.”
He rubbed my fingers gently as he talked. I fought the urge to pull away, the feeling that I was somehow being disloyal to Gabriel by letting Nathaniel touch me. I needed him on my side, and it wouldn’t do to get his hackles up by acting like he had an infectious disease.
Nathaniel turned my hand over in his, touching the places where my hands were rough or dry from work. “The hands of a servant, not a princess.”
This time I did pull my hand away, insulted. “I’m not the kind to fool around with manicures. And I don’t have servants to do my dishwashing and bathroom scrubbing.”
He folded his hand in his lap. “But you do not have to. You could live with Azazel in his palace. You could give up this life.”
“And give up who I am, too,” I replied fiercely. “I am not a toy for Azazel to play with.”
Nathaniel raised an eyebrow at me. “Is that what you believe? That your father treats you like a toy?”
“I don’t believe that my wishes are paramount in his view,” I replied, trying to calm down.
This was not how I had intended to go on with him. I’d wanted to present my case simply, to get him to agree to a trade. If I lost my temper or made him lose his, then we would never get anywhere. Luckily, he had already healed me without my asking, so that was one thing I would not have to bargain over.
“Let’s not talk about Azazel,” I said firmly, swinging my legs to the floor and forcing him to back away. I indicated that we should both sit in the dining room. I wanted to be eye level with him, not lying prone with Nathaniel looming over me.
“No, let us discuss your injuries,” he said as he followed me into the next room and sat down across from me. “How is it that you are so horribly injured and the thrall has not healed you?”
“His name is Gabriel,” I said through my teeth. “Why do you always talk about him as if he were slime on your shoes?”
“And why do you always behave as though he were something more than that?” Nathaniel said. His voice was calm and reasonable but his blue eyes lit with anger. “You treat him as if he were your equal.”
“Because he is. And you don’t exactly endear yourself to me by acting like a prince.”
Nathaniel smoothed the cuffs of his perfectly white shirt with his perfectly buffed fingernails before responding. He wore a trim-cut black suit, no tie, and his blond
hair looked like it had been professionally coiffed. His glittering white wings were tucked neatly behind him, not a feather out of place. The overall effect was one of golden beauty, but that beauty was cold. And his natty dressing habits only made me feel worse about my lack thereof, particularly when I was wearing nothing but a white T-shirt and gray sweatpants. I could not see myself waking up next to this flawless creature every morning for the rest of my life. Did anything rumple him?
“But I will be a prince, when I marry you,” he said calmly, looking into my eyes. “I do not think that you should be criticizing my behavior but looking at your own. You hardly behave in a way that is appropriate to your position.”
My fingers curled into fists and I could feel my nails pressing into my palms. My magic rose up, hot and angry, and I could tell when Nathaniel sensed it. The atmosphere of the room changed. He sat up a little straighter, looked a little more wary.
I concentrated on controlling myself. I will not blast my fiancé, I will not blast my fiancé, I will not blast my fiancé . . .
“I hardly think that my behavior is any of your business,” I said, when I felt like I could talk again.
“Of course it is. Your behavior reflects poorly on me in the eyes of the court.”
I had to get this conversation back around to finding Gabriel or I was going to kill Nathaniel before he ever had a chance to help me.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, forced my magic down and said, “Enough already. I asked you to come here because I need your help.”
He quirked one golden eyebrow at me in question.
“You ask why Gabriel hasn’t healed me. Gabriel has gone missing, and I need your help to find him.”
“And why should I assist you in finding the thr . . . Gabriel?” he amended, but Nathaniel said the name like it was poison dripping from his tongue. “His life is already forfeit since he has abandoned his duties to you.”
“He didn’t abandon me,” I said angrily. “He wouldn’t. There is nobody in this world who is more devoted to my safety than Gabriel.”
Nathaniel spread his hands wide. “Then where is he?”
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