Fish Out of Water

by Alethea Kontis

  “The minute Xander hopped online and saw that, he started referring to her as ‘Double-O Tetra,’” said Kara. “He’s a crazy James Bond nut.”

  “Confession: I have never seen a single James Bond movie,” said Lupe. “But for that man, I would binge watch. Holy mother of god, is he handsome. Does he have a girlfriend?”

  “He does, actually,” said Kara. “But our publicist advised us to keep that on the DL. Apparently, keeping up the illusion of a single Xander is quite the sales boost.”

  “I get that,” Tetra sighed.

  “Girlfriend,” Lupe pointed out. “Not wife.”

  “Now, now, don’t wind her up more than she already is,” said Kara.

  Blushing now, Tetra brought the conversation back to the matter at hand. “Is there reserved seating? Do I need to find a chair, or stand politely in the back or something?”

  “This reception is meant to be a casual affair,” said Lupe. “It’s being served buffet-style. There are no assigned seats—just pick a table and you’ll blend right in. Or don’t. The guests will be encouraged to drink, dance, turn their dinner into a picnic on the beach, or jump in the ocean with all their fancy clothes on.”

  “Seriously?” asked Tetra.

  Lupe nodded. “We’ve been instructed to cater to the whims of our guests this evening. They can do pretty much whatever they want.” Lupe lowered her voice to a whisper. “I can tell you some stories later about exactly what types of shenanigans have fallen into the ‘whatever they want’ category.”

  “It’s a date,” said Tetra.

  “No fair!” said Kara. “I want to hear stories about shenanigans! Too bad I have to go play stupid keyboard in this stupid band.”

  “Hey! No badmouthing my favorite band,” said Tetra.

  “Second confession,” Lupe said as she pulled another strand of Tetra’s hair up to add to the braid, “I have never heard of your band before. I’m sorry!”

  Kara waved the comment off with a hand. “Don’t be. Like Liam always says: loving the music is not a condition of our friendship.” She put a hand on Tetra’s shoulder. “Granted, it does help.”

  “My house has always been full of music, but usually salsa or banda. Probably why most of what I like is something you can dance to. Pop, hip-hop…current stuff, you know? It’s a weakness.” Tetra would have commented that love for music was never a weakness, but Lupe’s fingers in her hair felt so relaxing and Lupe seemed to be on a roll, so Tetra just let her talk. “Really, I like all kinds of music. No wait…except reggae. I can stand reggae for about five minutes. After that, every song sounds the same to me and I get bored.”

  “I completely understand,” said Kara. Whether she meant about the music or reggae or Lupe’s capacity for boredom, Tetra wasn’t sure. Not that it mattered.

  Lupe placed the last pin into Tetra’s braid and stared into the mirror, scrutinizing her handiwork. She snapped her fingers before removing the hibiscus flower from her own dark hair and placing it in Tetra’s. “Finished,” she said. “Now, what treasure has Kara stolen for us?”

  “A white linen shirt,” said Kara. “It was the only thing I came across that looked like it would breathe.” She held it up by the shoulders and squinted at it. “Though for the life of me, I can’t remember whose pack this came from. If it’s Xander’s or Liam’s, they haven’t worn it yet on this tour.”

  “Doesn’t matter,” said Lupe. “We’ll just pretend it’s Xander’s. No, no,” she said as Tetra began to pull the linen shirt over her tank top. “Off with that tank.”

  “But I’m wearing a black bra,” said Tetra.

  “Pretend it’s a bathing suit,” said Lupe. “Trust me. As hot as it is out there, you want as few layers as possible.”

  Tetra slipped into one of the stalls to do as Lupe instructed. It took a few extra seconds of wriggling—the black tank was already so damp it kept sticking to her. She was a little worried about the longer sleeves and extra material of the oversized linen shirt, but it felt amazing against her skin.

  “Much better,” Lupe said as Tetra stepped out of the stall.

  “You don’t think it’s too big?” Tetra asked. It had a deep V-neck, almost scandalously so, but if Tetra took Lupe’s advice and imagined her strapless bra was just the top of a bathing suit, it seemed perfectly normal. The bottom of the shirt hung almost to the hem of Tetra’s short black skirt.

  “It’s actually kind of perfect,” said Kara.

  “What should I do about shoes?” asked Tetra. Flowing shirt and fancy hair were one thing—giant pleather stompers were another.

  “Ditch them,” said Lupe. “Half the guests won’t be wearing their shoes after five seconds, I guarantee it.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Trust me. There’s a reason it’s called Barefoot Bay.”

  “Well, shoot. Then I’m ditching mine too.” Kara bent over and began to untying the ribbons of her wedge sandals. “When in Rome, right?”

  “Exactly.” Tetra unzipped her boots and peeled off her socks. The air on her toes felt amazing; she was almost instantly cooler.

  “Fantastic,” Lupe said as she shoved the extraneous clothes and shoes into her oversized bag. “Then let’s go, ladies. It’s showtime!”

  Kara, now significantly shorter without her shoes, put her arm around the serving girl. “Lupe, my dear,” she said. “I believe this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

  6

  Begrudgingly, Justin followed Xander to the spot on the patio that had been designated as their “stage.” The water in the pool sat like blue glass in contrast to the waves crashing unceasingly on the beach behind them. A makeshift canopy shaded them from the worst of the sun and large fans had been set up amongst the amps to help distract from the oppressive heat. Justin still felt bad for the uniformed servers weaving in and out of the tables making final arrangements. June weddings were a thing, sure, but who in their right mind scheduled an outdoor event in this heat?

  Just then an ocean breeze swept in, brushing against the nape of his damp neck like a cool caress. Well, maybe this spot wasn’t so bad. It would definitely be more pleasant after the sun went down…which still wouldn’t be for a while. He’d conquered rehab—he could tough this out.

  Hell, if he could make it through the first set, he could make it through anything.

  “You remember Liam,” said Xander.

  “Hey, mate.” Justin held out a hand to the drummer, who took it with enthusiasm.

  “Good to see you, man. Nice haircut.”

  Liam had always been a pleasant sort. Justin was glad to know Xander’s bandmates didn’t share his seething hatred. Which, of course, made Justin wonder how much of the story Liam actually knew.

  “And where’s…ah, there she is. Justin, this is Kara, our keyboardist and resident fairy queen.”

  The Xander who’d given Liam’s perfunctory introduction was not the same one who presented Kara to him now. This Xander was all ease and playful charm. If Justin didn’t know better, he’d have suspected something romantic between the two of them.

  And rightfully so, because Kara was a knockout.

  Dark red hair was piled high atop a pixie-like face that was almost swallowed by two marbled blue eyes. Curling wisps trailed down her long neck, as if they were always meant to be there. An ankle-length cotton dress clung to her tall, gamine form. From beneath its hem he could see that she wore no shoes. Even her feet were perfect.

  Justin took her hand and, bowing over it, planted a quick kiss on the back. “Your grace. I am your humble servant.” That’s right. Xander wasn’t the only one who could ooze charm.

  “Oh…rats. See, I didn’t want to like you and now I do. Sorry, Xan.”

  “Give it time,” said Justin.

  Xander cleared his throat. Justin quickly released Kara’s hand.

  “Any idea where my stuff went?” Justin asked.

  “Your guitar’s there,” said Liam. “I had the sound guy throw your
bag in with the rest of our gear. The bellman promised to move it to our rooms before the reception gets underway.”

  “Our rooms?” asked Kara.

  Justin hadn’t gotten as far as inquiring about where he was supposed to crash. If there wasn’t space for him in these “rooms” of the band’s, then he might be able to stay with his aunt and uncle. Worst case, he was no stranger to sleeping on the beach.

  “Apparently, there’s a vacancy in the staff quarters. Donny’s daughter works here—she sorted it out so that we could use it as a home base while we do the Florida tour.”

  “Wait…a Florida tour?”

  This was said by one of the dark-haired girls approaching the stage. Both had white shirts and black skirts like the rest of the serving staff. The taller, less-curvy one looked to be off duty. A giant red flower adorned the braided crown in her hair, from which various strands were starting to escape. She was barefoot, like Kara, and the oversized white linen shirt she wore slipped casually off her shoulder. Justin had a similar shirt. He considered changing into it after he sweated through this one.

  “Hey, Tetra!” said Liam. “I almost didn’t recognize you.”

  The girl with the flower gave the whole stage a dazzling smile. As she turned to reply, Justin noticed the beauty mark on her cheek, like a classic movie star. An uncommonly sexy feature…

  Justin gripped the neck of his guitar. Nope. No groupies. Xander had made that perfectly clear.

  “Lupe pointed out that I wasn’t exactly dressed for a wedding,” she said. “I feel better now.”

  “You look fabulous to me no matter what you’re wearing,” said Kara.

  “There’s only one problem,” Xander said with mock seriousness.

  The girl’s brows furrowed. It was obvious that she sought Xander’s approval. Justin wanted to tell the poor girl not to build her pedestal too high, but he bent his head over his bass and concentrated on tuning it instead.

  “Oh my gosh! I totally forgot to bring you guys some water!”

  “No worries! I’m on it.” The second girl, presumably Lupe, had a melodious yet deep voice. Justin wondered if she sang. Or danced.

  “Sorry,” the groupie said sheepishly.

  “Oh, Tetra, you know he’s just messing with you. Xander, cut it out and get back to work.” Kara winked at the girl, then tossed Xander the end of a cord to plug in.

  Soundcheck was fairly simple. Unlike a normal concert venue, people were meant to mingle and chat over the music, so their amps weren’t turned to eleven. As long as they were able to hear themselves in the monitors—which always took a bit of tweaking—they could play more like a rehearsal than an actual show.

  Donny might have thrown his nephew into this situation, but here Justin could focus more on the music and less on an energy-draining performance.

  Lupe came back with two bottles of water for each of the band members. Justin guzzled the first down greedily. For once, he was happy it wasn’t a beer.

  The set list was a bit more complicated. “Other than Beach Boys, I’m drawing a blank on peppy beach music,” said Xander. “Somebody else throw out something?”

  Justin could think of about twenty different songs and artists, but he wisely kept his mouth shut.

  “Sitting on the Dock of the Bay,” said Liam.

  “Yes! We can do that. What else?”

  “Simon and Garfunkel,” said Kara.

  “Most of them are too slow,” said Liam.

  “Not Cecilia,” said Xander. “Or 59th Street Bridge. I could make those work.”

  “Go on, Justin,” said Kara. “What have you got?”

  Instead of rattling off his list, he suggested the one Xander was most likely to throw out. “La Isla Bonita,” he said. “But Kara would have to sing it.”

  “Kara would have to know it,” said Xander.

  Kara looked at Xander as if he’d grown a third head. “You’re asking me if I know a Madonna song. Are there fish in the sea? Does a bear poop in the—”

  Xander held up a hand. “I got it. You know it. Let’s do it. What about you, Double-O Tetra? Any special requests?”

  The groupie had perched herself quietly on the edge of the stage, politely waiting to speak until spoken to. “Walking on Sunshine is probably my favorite peppy song,” she said.

  “It does feel a bit like we’re walking on the sun today,” said Liam.

  “Totally Florida appropriate,” said Xander. “It’s in. Now, what 10mm Conspiracy songs should we add to this?”

  The groupie actually gave it some thought and then suggested four of the more-popular-but-still-less-moody tracks from their repertoire. Three of them were songs Justin would have suggested. The fourth was one that hadn’t occurred to him, but in the context of a wedding made absolute sense. Was it possible this groupie actually had a brain, too?

  Justin hoped not. That made her far more dangerous.

  Thankfully, the distracting girl and her beauty mark slipped off the stage and lingered unobtrusively by the pool as the guests trickled in. There was a chorus of cheering when the bride and groom arrived…but the couple ignored everyone and made a beeline for the stage.

  “Trish and Andy, everyone!” Xander announced. Justin added his mumbled congratulations to the rest of the band’s more enthusiastic replies.

  “Oh my gosh, you’re really here!” Trish squealed. Her cheeks were flushed bright pink and her dress was incredibly poofy.

  Andy, one of those gents of the tall, fit variety, shook hands with Xander. “Thank you, thank all of you so much for coming.”

  “We can’t stay…” Trish started.

  “They’re kidnapping us to take pictures while the light’s still good,” said Andy.

  “…but if you could please, please just play one song first,” Trish begged. “Our song.”

  “Name it,” Xander said without hesitation.

  Andy looked at his bride as if there was no other sun in his sky. “Missing Piece.”

  “Excellent choice,” said Kara as she moved behind the keyboard. “It’s one of my favorites, too.”

  “You got this, man?” Liam asked, and Justin nodded.

  Xander tested the mic, “Attention everyone. The bride and groom have requested that we play their first dance before they are whisked away for their photo shoot. Is that all right with everyone?”

  There was a second chorus of cheers. Champagne was poured and camera phones were pulled out of pockets and purses. Andy held his arm up and Trish did a little twirl. Xander always knew how to warm things up. He had a special talent for speaking to everyone as if they were old friends sharing a secret.

  “Some of you may know who we are,” said Xander, “but we’re a different sort of band tonight, so I think we should have a different name.” A few chuckles swept through the crowd. “Ladies and gentleman”—he bowed to Trish and Andy—“Mr. and Mrs. Merriweather, I present to you…Fish Out of Water!”

  Trish jumped up and down and the partygoers applauded. Liam gave them a beat, Justin started the bass line, and Kara jumped in with the first notes of “Missing Piece.” Xander raised his arm and pointed at the groupie over by the pool. The band’s new name was obviously a nod to her. She laughed, smiled that amazing smile and blew him a kiss.

  Oh yes, Xander Rorris was smooth, and he knew it.

  Just as sure as Justin knew he was going to punch Xander in that perfect face sometime before this tour was over.

  7

  Over the next few hours, Tetra proceeded to have the time of her life at the wedding of two complete strangers. She’d been entirely prepared to be the perfect model of a quiet wallflower (not that the patio had any walls), lurking in the shadows (not that there was a shadow to be had beneath the unforgiving sun) and keeping to herself (on a deck full of flowing spirits and boisterous, happy people).

  It took Lupe about five seconds to break Tetra out of her shell. Once the overburdened buffet table was relinquished to the masses, Lupe ran over and grabbed her
hand.

  “Let’s dance!” she said, pulling Tetra to her feet.

  “You are incredibly strong for such a tiny person.”

  Lupe giggled and tugged at her friend. “Come on.”

  “But no one’s up there yet,” said Tetra. “And this isn’t my party.”

  “The bride and groom already christened the dance floor, which makes it fair game. Those are the rules.” Lupe pointed to the band. “You want to let all this fabulous music go to waste?”

  “Well, when you put it that way…” Lupe spun around to take the lead—Tetra put a hand on her friend’s shoulder and began joyfully hopping after her.

  “No running around the pool,” scolded a very stoic boy in a bowtie and shorts. He looked a little depressed about the fact that he was not properly dressed for the pool.

  “We’re not running,” said Lupe. “We’re dancing. Join us!”

  The boy looked dubious, but two little girls—one in a mass of green ribbons and one in a Disney Princess gown—instantly took hold of Tetra’s skirt and began dancing behind her.

  By the time they reached the band, most of the children had joined the impromptu conga line, skipping and twirling and hopping around in peals of laughter while their parents and guardians ate.

  After two songs, a significant number of adults had joined the dancing, and Tetra was pooped. “This heat is killing me,” she said to Lupe.

  “Cool. We’ll take a break. Have something to eat.”

  Another line Tetra would never have dreamed of crossing. “Are you sure that’s all right?”

  Lupe reached up to fix the flower in Tetra’s hair. “Trust me, chica. I have worked about a hundred of these weddings. First off…do you like seafood?” Tetra nodded. “Our chef is a particular master at any dish whose main ingredient comes out of the ocean, but all the food is fabulous, and there is never a shortage of it.”

  Lupe ladled a large helping of lobster salad onto her plate, along with a few giant prawns and what looked to be fried oysters. Obediently, Tetra followed suit. “And the second thing?”